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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:31 pm

It was something Luna would have to look into making a habit after work. Home was noisy. Outside was noisy. But the clinic? Now that was nice and quiet.

It was a little more uncomfortable sitting upside-down in the clinic's chairs now that she was nearly grown, but that didn't deter her. Who cared if she was covered in dirt? She knew where the mop was. She could clean up after herself.

Her dirty work gloves and canvas apron occupied the seat next to her, and she'd removed her muddy boots when she entered the clinic. Her socked feet probably smelled a hell of a lot worse than the boots, but at least she wasn't tracking mud.

And as she relaxed, eyes closed, her hands folded over her chest, she projected one thing: the feeling of complete relaxation that could be taken as an "Mmmmmmm~"

A grey blur burst into the waiting room. Merlyn darted across the room to the receptionist's desk, delighting in his newly gained height and balance, and tried to haul himself up to the counter to look over it. "I'm HERE," he said to the receptionist. The young man behind the counter, who could see only a pair of small furred hands, said kindly, "I can see that."

Prolixity followed his son into the clinic more sedately, heading for the counter to check in. He nodded to Luna on his way in. A tall, blue-skinned male followed him, eyes darting everywhere.

Merlyn ceased his attempts on the fortress of solitude that was the desk, and spun around to see what else interesting might be in the room. "Luna!" he said delightedly. He grabbed the blue person's webbed hand and dragged him over. "Luna, look, I brought Lapis!"

Luna's eyes slowly fluttered open, and she found herself staring at the upside-down image of Merlyn.

Mmm?

Pause.

Oh!

She didn't yet right herself, but she still smiled warmly at Merlyn. Lapis?

Merlyn grinned back, ears perked happily. He radiated cheerful pleasure at having found his older friend here. "Lapis is a comet serpent, except he went to Khia's and went in the lab, so now he has legs and feet, and he keeps tripping over them, and he doesn't like it yet but he's got hands so he likes it a little bit," he explained, rather garbledly. He was like this, he clarified mentally.

Lapis fidgeted uncomfortably. He certainly didn't look a great deal like Merlyn's mental projection at the moment, save for the blue skin, the flexible spines drooping from his back, and the thick black mane of hair. However, he was very readably possessive and protective of his charge, and even this new weirdness wasn't going to keep him from following and looking after the boy.

Luna glanced from Merlyn to Lapis and back, a slow smile spreading across her face. She understood THOSE projections. He sounded a lot like someone ELSE she knew.

Didn't he, Jo~? wink

If Jokeph could speak, he probably would have replied with a "Hmph."

So how WAS Merlyn, anyway? Luna finally righted herself, rubbing at her dirty cheek with one hand. He looked like he had grown quite a bit since she last saw him! And at this rate, he'd be bigger than she was!

Lapis subsided into a chair, trying to coil his legs under him uncomfortably. He watched Luna closely.

"I'm good! I'm big, I can reach the counter now," Merlyn told Luna proudly. "I can get my own cookies without a chair, and I have a fish shirt." He tugged at the shirt he was wearing, clearly very proud of it. I picked it myself but I was too little for it and then I got bigger.

Oh, did you? Luna reached out to poke the fish on Merlyn's shirt. It's a very nice fish shirt! Does the fish on your shirt have a name?

Merlyn blinked. He had never considered that. "Nuh uh. Help me make one up?"

Hm. Well, naming a shirt-fish was a big deal! Luna pursed her lips in thought, considering the fish on his shirt.

Morty?

Uh uh, that's a cat name. Merlyn pondered the problem with great seriousness. "Bubbles is silly," he mused aloud.

Is silly a good thing? Luna wondered. Mister Bubblesworth!

Merl burst into giggles. "Mister Bubblesworth!" He poked the fish on his shirt and declared solemnly, "Mister Bubblesworth likes it."

Prox returned to the seating area just in time to catch this declaration. He raised one eyebrow, decided not to ask, and sat down to peruse one of the outdated magazines from the table.

Mister Bubblesworth. Luna repeated proudly, nodding her head for emphasis. So, what did Merlyn and Mister Bubblesworth do today? Did they have fun?

We went to the grocery and to the beach to see my brother and then I played in the garden and now we came for my check-up," Merlyn recounted. "Daddy says I have to take some tests." He plonked down to sit on the floor, tugging his little rubber dragon out of his pocket and fidgeting with it. But they won't hurt, he added.

It sounds like you had a lot of fun! Luna grinned at Merlyn. And I'm glad you're taking tests that won't hurt. It's never fun to take the kind that hurt. A sympathetic nod.

Just to see how loud I can talk and how soft I can hear with my head, Merlyn offered. "Without being out loud." He tossed the dragon toy to Lapis, who obligingly caught it and threw it back.

Oooh, I had that one, but not here. Luna tilted her head. Those are easy tests. At least, I thought they were.

"Shai can do it too but he can't do the tests, so I'm gonna do them here," Merlyn explained. Catch! He tossed the toy to Luna.

Luna's hands automatically reached up to catch the toy, peering at it intently and giving it an appreciative squeeze. It's cute! Where did you get it?

"There are lots at the shop with the dragons," Merlyn nodded. "That one's mine." He held his hands out to catch the dragon.

Hnn! Luna would have to look into getting one of her own.

Unwilling to throw the dragon, she leaned forward and gently set it in Merlyn's paws.

Aw, you were s'posed to throw it. Merlyn looked vaguely disappointed and stuffed the dragon back into his pocket. "You're all full of dirty," he observed. "What did you do?"

Didn't want to hurt it. If Luna were speaking, she would've been mumbling.

I came here straight from work, she explained. Jo and I make the soil more nutritious for the plants at the Sprouts Nursery.

"S'just rubber. When I was really little I bit it all the time," Merlyn offered, ignoring the fact that it hadn't been all that long ago that he'd been really little.

How do you do that? he inquired, curious.

We-ell... Luna brought a finger to her lips, thinking of how to explain it to him in a way he'd understand. She settled for projecting the memories she had of the soil being too alkaline; too bitter for the plants. And the only thing that would make them better was acid. Dirt that was less bitter by adding sour. And Jokeph was very acid. A loogie into the dirt, mix it up, and then Jokeph and Luna would tend to the plant itself. Jokeph was always good with plants, having the soul of one himself, and Luna was good with Earth, having that as her element.

Together, they were an unstoppable force!

Merlyn absorbed the information interestedly. It was fascinating. Why does adding sour make it less bitter? he inquired. The concept had come across slightly muddled from the comparison. And how come Jokeph is sour?

Science lesson time. Well, bases were bitter, and acids were sour. Lemons had acid in them, and that's why someone could taste them and go ihhhhhhhhhh!

Luna made a face to demonstrate.

And baking soda was bitter, and that's why someone could taste it and go ewwwwww!

Another face.

And when you put them together, you get a really nasty reaction of lots of fizz and mess. And salt. But they also cancelled each other out, you see?

Of course, when there was soil involved, there wasn't very much in the fizz and mess department, but there was still cancelling out going on.

"I like lemons," Merlyn remarked absently, and thought about the science lesson. Was vinegar an acid, then? It was sour, and it made a huge bubbling mess with baking soda. And the resultant liquid hadn't tasted like much of anything at all.

"Why does it make salt?" And is it bad for plants to have too much of the other way?

Yup, vinegar WAS an acid! And as for the salt-making, now that was a complex process that involved ions and things that even Luna didn't understand. And it was definitely bad for plants to have too much acid. Luckily, Jokeph's acid could be refined to make antidotes, and that helped.

How did Jokeph make acid? Most people didn't make acid, Merlyn was pretty sure of that. Was it on purpose?

Luna didn't know. It was just how Jokeph was. That's why nobody is to touch him. Ever.

Except Luna, who was immune, but Jokeph didn't really LIKE to be touched, so she respected that, usually. Unless she just really needed a hug.

"That wouldn't be fun," Merlyn said, frowning faintly. How did he do things if he couldn't touch people? What happened if he bumped into someone? And hugs were good, it wouldn't be good to not have them.

Jokeph wears clothes, Luna noted. He can bump into people, but he doesn't like the feeling at all. And he can do things just fine without touching anyone.

She smiled sweetly at Merlyn. Did he want a hug? Maybe sit in her lap? Even if she WAS dirty?

Merlyn didn't mind dirt! He liked hugs, too. He scrambled up to climb onto Luna's lap, ears perked.

It was just about that time when a tiny naked man, no more than an inch in height, ran through a gap in the door, tiny limbs flailing and his but beautiful hair flapping in the breeze. (And other tiny parts of his anatomy either flailing or flapping in the breeze, but if I, the narrator, were to describe them all, it would take all night)

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he screeched as he ran through the clinic and exited out the back.

A blue, birdlike creature flew after him, flapping as hard as she could just to keep up, shrieking in harmony.

"STREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK!"

And as quickly as they appeared, they, and their antics, were gone. Almost as if someone were quadruple dog dared to streak through the clinic. Or send them streaking through the clinic.

............"Bzuh," Luna declared, watching them go before wrapping her arms around Merlyn and resting her chin on top of his head with a gentle lick.

She... was just going to ignore that.

Lapis stared.

Prox, all too familiar with the pair of small beings in question, put his magazine down and put his face in his hands. He might have been laughing. It was hard to tell.

Merlyn blinked and twisted to look. What had that been?

Luna didn't know. Luna really didn't want to know. sweatdrop

Merlyn pointed after them. Hadn't that been a Dream?

Hey... wait!

Yeah! Luna recognized it! Jokeph has one who helps translate his sign language!

That means it was Daddy's fault. Merlyn turned to stare accusingly at his father.

The older feline had just managed to compose himself. The stare set him off again, and he laughed silently into his hands.

...What was so funny, Luna wondered?

"Chee," the elder feline said, as though that explained everything.

Merlyn was confused. He stuck his tongue out at his parent and turned back to Luna. Well. He had gotten a hug from his friend, so all was well, even if there were crazy things around. Crazy things were kind of normal, anyway.

"Chee," Luna repeated, wrinkling her nose. Sounded like a food.

At least the distraction was good for interrupted scary things. Like learning! Luna winked at Merlyn. Any more, and it would've been like going to school, hmm?

School. Merlyn wrinkled his nose and expressed distaste at sitting still and reading things. He liked DOING things, but not TESTS and WRITING. When they went to the beach and learned how the ocean made waves because of the moon and the way the shape of the beach was, that was fun, though!

Luna always learned better that way, too, she admitted. That's why she chose not to go back to the Academy back on Neilan. She wanted to learn things her own way.

I have to go and take tests when I get bigger, though. Merlyn made a face. "So Daddy said I have to learn how, so I can."

Tests aren't so tough. Luna winked again. You just have to learn how to make good guesses and narrow down the choices. You'll get the hang of it in no time.

"I'm smart," Merlyn asserted. "I'll do good."

Right! Another lick. Now, don't you have other tests you need to be doing right now?

Elle wanted to sneak into the GMFC. She was very good at it now, she doubted anyone would notice!

But she had to fight that. She had to walk in, and sit, look normal, all while pretending she wasn't a jittery fluttery teenager.

She saw Luna was in there before she'd entered, and for a few moments Elle froze. Then she forced herself to keep moving, step by step, right on into the GMFC. Just act normal. Calm... normal...

"Hi." Elle told them both.

Merlyn groaned and slid obediently off Luna's lap, ears flattening. "Don't wanna," he said. ... Oooh, a new person! "Hi!"

Oh, it'll be fi-- Luna's thoughts trailed off as she glanced up at Elle. She quickly recovered, however. Ah! Merlyn, this is my very good friend, Elle! Elle, this is my very good friend, Merlyn. Merlyn, Elle. Elle, Merlyn.

"Hi!" Elle told Merlyn, eyes only glancing up to catch Luna's eyes for a few seconds. She grinned shyly at her for a moment, unable to speak, then redirected her gaze back to the kid.

"It's nice to meet you, Merlyn. Are you also a prisonor of the clinic, merciless to wait for tests like we all are?" She said that all very seriously, but Elle was grinning too. Something had definatly softened.

"Uh huh, I have to go see how well I talk with my head," Merlyn nodded. He bowed to Elle, as he had been taught was polite, and said "It's-nice-to-meet-you!" Then he glanced back to catch his father's eye for approval.

A nurse emerged from the back hallway. "Merlyn Sarihe?"

"I gotta go, maybe we can talk sometime," Merlyn said to Elle, mostly managing not to pout. He hugged Luna one more time, then dragged over towards the nurse.

Lapis got up and followed his young charge, eyeing Elle suspiciously.

Prox smiled to the young woman - she looked familiar; was she the daughter of someone he knew? he'd find out later, perhaps - and padded after his son.

Bye, Merlyn! Good luck! With a wave after them, Luna stooped over and scooped up her gloves and apron.

I was just about to head home, Elle. A glance upward. Want to walk with me?

Elle nodded, flushing, but moved closer. She didn't know what to do for a moment and then offered her hand. It was kind of foward but if Luna wanted? If not, Elle could pretend she was just stretching.

"Okay."

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:32 pm

It's surprising how one can be surprised by something they knew all along. Isn't that silly? I knew Elle shared the same feelings I was suddenly feeling for her, and yet, I couldn't say or do a thing. But... we each take a step, it seems. I touch her in my mind, and she touches me on my lips.

I didn't expect it to feel the way it did. It's nice. I didn't think it would feel any different than when Ma does it, or a family member kisses me on the cheek... But...

It does. It really does. I don't know if sparks fly like romance novels say they do, but it felt... very electric. Very much so.

I wonder what it was like for Boyan. ...Maybe... I should go to him for advice.

Or... maybe I should just go to Ma. ...I know she'd be... maybe all right with it. Dad would probably freak until he found out it was a girl I kissed.

But... I don't really want to. It's my business, isn't it? Love is my business. Not hers. Not anyone's but mine, Elle's, and Jo's.

Right?

Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:33 pm

June

I do NOT need this right now.

I've been so busy that I've barely been able to notice what I'm eating for breakfast, nevermind what's going on with my own daughter. Oh, she's a sweet girl, I tell myself. She's responsible and mature, and she has Jokeph with her at all times, so she's never going to get herself into any trouble. Right?

So it's fine that I can give her all the liberties she could ever want, right?

Holy s**t, I've turned into one of THEM. You know how you hear about those neglectful parents who let their children run wild? And you're just like "Oh, great. More of THOSE parents to pollute the gene pool." And then BAM! Your daughter's staying out late.... making out or something!

And Jo! Jo let her! I told them I needed them home for dinner! And when do they come back? Right before I call the police, that's when! Well, it's good to know where HE stands. Hmph.

I knew she was hiding something. And I saw that bracelet on her wrist. I knew what was going on.

At least it didn't take much to get her to crack.

I'm too young for this. She's too young for this. Right? I mean, sure, she's gotten past the tough part of puberty, and she's old enough to start thinking about taking a few courses by correspondence, or even getting a GED. She's a bright girl. She could do it.

If she's not staying out late to liplock with that friend of hers.

Well, she isn't right NOW. I'd like to see her try it while she's grounded. Actually, I wouldn't. Lord knows Jo will blow a hole in the goddamn wall to help her.

But not if he knows it'll get her a month tacked onto it.

Thhhbbbbbbt.

Mom, 1. Kid, 0.

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:34 pm

Letter from Boyan

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Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:35 pm

Letter from Elle

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:39 pm

June

Y'know, something's been bothering me for a while.

I've been trying my best as a parent, really. Luna's turned out incredibly well, but then again, she's had such wonderful outside influences, like Jokeph and Boyan. All I'd really done to raise her was make sure she was clothed, fed, housed, and loved. Really, though, isn't that all a parent can do?

But I didn't encourage her to learn or grow. And I don't mean in an educational sense. She went to the Academy on Neilan, and she's still taking courses via correspondence. I mean... in a practical sense.

She's sixteen and hasn't even made the first steps toward improving her speech. She certainly tries when there's no other option, but I've been coddling her. She has no mental defenses. And maybe... letting her rely on her mind like this is the reason for her oversensitivity to thought and emotion.

I'm going to have to do something about it. She might hate me for it. And... and I think I'm ready for that. I'd gone her whole life tiptoeing around the difficult decisions because I was scared of resentment. But this needs to be done.

I... I'm going to have to cut her off.

...How to do it...

Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:41 pm

Commander Haladet was at the Keth home when Luna returned from work. That was never a good sign. What was even worse, Luna noticed, was that this particular day, she was completely unreadable.

Lillian was never unreadable. But today... today, she had an ulterior motive. The fact that she hid her intentions made that fact as clear as day.

Sensing her apprehension, Jokeph moved to stand between his Mistress and Lillian. Every hair on his body felt like it was standing on end, and his eyes narrowed almost menacingly as he eyed her warily.

He didn't even need to sign his question; his posture, his tension, everything about him demanded to know what in the hell Lillian wanted with his Mistress.

"Jokeph." Lillian regarded him cooly, flipping her long, sandy hair over her shoulder. She knew what he was capable of. She was the one who made those orbs in his hands that made him capable of immense destruction. But she wasn't afraid of him. There was something in that demeanor... that hint of a smile on her lips...

She could take him. And suddenly, Jokeph was very aware of that fact. In a fight, she could take him. Easily. It wasn't a fact she advertised, and this sudden burst of information was like a ton of bricks falling on his shoulders.

"You sense that, don't you?" Her expression remained unchanged. "I gave you your power, and I can take it away just as easily." A step forward, and then another. Slow. Even. Fearless. "I don't want to fight, Jokeph. I'm not going to harm her."

She projected just enough to show she was honest; Luna was relieved for that much. Luna gently placed a hand on Jokeph's shoulder. It was all right. He could step aside. Luna was a big girl. She could take care of herself.

What can I do for you, Commander Haladet? It was a damn good thing Luna could think her words. Otherwise, they would come out shakily and barely audible.

"Luna Keth." The smile disappeared from Lillian's face. "We need to talk."

About what?

"You. Your abilities."

What... about them?

"They're out of control."

It was a statement Luna couldn't even begin to comprehend. Lillian might as well have told her that her hearing was out of control. Or her sight. How does one control perception? For it to be OUT of control?

"Luna, this might be very confusing for you." No s**t. "But your... perception... is out of control." A very long pause. "Your mother tells me you can't control your reading of others' minds."

But--

"She tells me you used to complain of the noise other minds generated. Is this true?"

Yes, but I don't--

"You don't anymore. I know. You've gotten used to it." Lillian's stare grew cold. "Luna, once that becomes too quiet, then what? Will you need to hear every intimate thought everyone within range has in order to feel comfortable?"

I--

"This needs to be corrected." She withdrew a syringe. Why did it have to be a syringe? In every scary movie that Luna had ever seen, "This needs to be corrected," followed by the production of a syringe, was always a horrible sign of things to come.

She screamed.

What happened next was a blur. Jokeph leapt forward, face contorted into a snarl of rage so terrible that it was the only thing that stood out to Luna in the chaos. And just as quickly as he leapt, he was on the floor.

Lillian didn't touch him, but Luna could sense the overwhelming projections coming from her. Fatigue. Weariness. Exhaustion. Those weren't Lillian's feelings, but she was able to project them onto Jokeph as easily as one would bat away a pest.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Of course she'd say that. All those evil doctors in the movies said that. "If you would have let me continue before becoming frightened..." She gestured to the liquid inside. A harmless-looking fluid. Not radioactive green, not blood red... Actually, it didn't look much like anything. Maybe water. Maybe-- "It's an inhibitor."

An--

"Before you can learn to control your abilities, you're going to have to get used to the silence." Lillian lowered the syringe, if only to get it out of Luna's line of sight for the moment. "You'll live with it. Deal with it. Maybe even learn to like it." When Luna's expression melted into sheer horror, Lillian's face softened a bit. "When it wears off, we will teach you control. This will be beneficial in the long run."

Luna shook her head violently. No!

"There's a saying..." Lillian whispered. "That we have back home. 'Good medicine is often bitter.' You're not going to like it. And I don't want to do it. But if we don't, there are risks."

Luna's first impulse was to scream that Lillian was lying. But there wasn't any deception. Not that she could sense. And suddenly, her fear redirected itself. ...Risks?

"Say... that life had a volume switch. You start with it low. And maybe, once you get used to the quiet noises, you decide you want to hear more. So you turn up the dial. The quiet noises are louder, and you hear new, quieter things. So you turn up the dial. Soon, you don't even have control over it. The dial goes up. And up. And up. And you don't even realize you're doing it. And suddenly..." She snapped her fingers. "You don't hear anything at all. Those quiet noises had grown so loud that they'd deafened you."

So how is deafening me going to help?! Luna was angry now, an emotion she was VERY unused to feeling. What's that going to solve?!

"By turning the volume off..." Lillian raised the syringe once more. "We reset the dial. And teach you how to use it." With that, she plunged the needle into Luna's arm before she even had a chance to protest.

And everything went dark.

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:42 pm

"How is she?" June sipped her hot chocolate nervously, waiting until Lillian had returned from carrying Luna upstairs before asking questions. "Will she be all right?"

Lilian sat down at the kitchen table, taking the mug of coffee that had been set out for her and taking a long sip. "She's fine. She's not the first fainter I'd had."

"That wasn't necessary." June narrowed her eyes. "You should've let me talk to her. You should've let me reassure her. She's my daughter."

"June, I've done this for many years, and I know what parents tell their children to get them to take the frightening, but necessary, procedures." Lillian set the mug down. "And I know you better than you realize."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were going to lie to her."

June sputtered. "I was not!"

"Luna, everything is going to be all right. It'll be scary at first, but it'll be easier than you think." Lillian took the spoon set out for her and waved it before stirring a packet of sugar into her coffee.

"Yeah?"

Another sip. "It's not going to be easy. In fact, it's going to be one of the most difficult things that Luna will ever go through." She pointed the damp spoon at June. "And she'll remember that you pooh-poohed it as something she should have no trouble with."

"...Ah." June glanced away. "...Yeah. I... get that."

Another spoonful of sugar, another sip. "It's better this way. I'm the villian, you're the mother who just wanted the best for her daughter, and Luna can deal with her own problems without worrying that her mother is the enemy. She'll have enough on her plate as it is."

"...Yeah."

Lillian finally glanced over her shoulder. "Are you just going to leave him on the floor?"

June glanced upward, toward Jokeph's lifeless figure on the floor. "Nothing else I can do. He's too heavy for me to move. Not to mention that acid thing."

"Will he be all right there?"

June nodded slowly. "He should be. You might want to go before he comes to, though. He's going to be livid."

"I intended to."

"Hey... Lillian?" June bit her lip. "...Are you sure we--"

"--Did the right thing? Absolutely." Lillian stood, leaving the half-empty mug on the table. "Right down to surprising her with the shot to her arm. No struggle, no fight, no argument. It's just like administerinig a vaccination to a child. Distract them and then stick them, and they barely notice."

"She'll notice not being able to hear anything or even talk!"

A long pause. "...She'll learn to appreciate the quiet. And she'll learn to control herself." Lillian waved slightly, stepping over Jokeph to get to the door. "Thank you for the coffee, Ms. Keth."

"Yeah. Thanks for your help." June sounded less sure of herself than Lillian did. "Ends justify the means. I'll... I'll keep that in mind."

"Good bye."

When the door shut for good, June slid her mug to the edge of the table and covered her face with one hand

Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:43 pm

"You don't have to go into work, honey."

"I'll call in for you if you want."

"Are you sure you're all right?"

Luna grimaced, tying her handkerchief around her head and ensuring her braid was neatly behind her. Her mother's words STILL echoed in her mind. But that's all they were. Words.

Jokeph was twitchier than usual, too. Jumping whenever anyone came within arm's length. Walking down downtown Gaia, that meant he was jumping every second. Luna desperately wished she could sense what he was feeling. That she could reassure him.

...But she couldn't.

Even Charlie and Thomas knew something was wrong the second they walked into the nursery. "Hey, Luna? You okay?"

A nod.

"You sure?"

Nod.

"Gonna say good mornin'?"

Headshake.

Charlie frowned. "Luna?"

No answer. She'd already gone to the back to tend the plants that were only barely beginning to recover from the summer heat.

Bushes first. Tend to the dead branches on the bottom. Snip. Snip. Braid is in the way. Brush that back. Snip. Snip. Braid is in the way again. Move it. Snip. In the way again. Move it. Back to the branches. Snip. Snip. Snip. Braid is in the way again. Snip.

With every snip, her frustration grew. She'd hoped tending to the plants would make her feel better, but if anything, she was feeling worse and worse.

Snip. Snip. Move braid. Snip. Snip. Snip. Move braid. Snip. Move braid. Snip--

Snap. As her braid moved into her line of sight again, Luna's grip tightened on the branch she was caring for. It didn't even have a chance. With a frustrated sigh, she threw it to the side in one violent motion. But if that wasn't enough, when she twisted to throw it, her braid swung around with her. And when she stopped, it didn't. Whap! Right in the face.

"AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAH!" She wasn't even TRYING to form a word. What flowed out of her was pure frustration in vocal form. Still crying out, she seized her braid with one hand and clenched her fingers around it until her knuckles turned white. She then took the shears and positioned them just under where the braid began.

Snip.

The freshly detached end of the braid hit the ground with an audible thud. And suddenly, the nursery was deathly quiet.

Jokeph was staring at her in horror. And Charlie and Thomas had come running once they heard her scream.

"Oh, Jesus."

Luna's head suddenly felt light, even with the weight of what she'd done bearing on her. Her head rose... and then dropped into her palms as she began to cry.

"Luna?"

No response.

Charlie knelt by her right side, Thomas to her left. "Hey. Hey, Luna..."

"Nnnnnn!"

"Here..." Charlie gently took the braid from her clenched hand. "I'll put this in a bag. Hair this long should be saved." Luna heard his footsteps grow quieter as he left, but that was it.

"You wanna talk about it, Lu?" her remaining coworker asked gently.

She nodded.

"I'm listening."

Luna stared up at Thomas with red-rimmed eyes, her lower lip trembling. She then shook her head, bringing her free hand to her throat.

"You can't."

Nod.

"Not even with your head?"

Nod.

"But you were just fine yesterday."

Nod.

Two and two clicked. "Jesus, Lu! Why'd you even come into work?!"

She shrugged.

"Jesus. I know how important that is to you. If I suddenly couldn't talk, I wouldn't even wanna go to work, either."

Charlie came running back, a plastic bag in his arms. "I got it! Is she all--"

"Yeah... she lost her headthinky thing."

"Jesus! Why'd she even come to work?!"

Luna couldn't help but laugh at that, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffling.

"Here." Charlie set the bag down and reached into his pocket. "I want you... and Jo... to take the day off, all right? Just take it easy." He held out a single bill. "Here's some money. Just... a gift, okay? Take it. It's not comin' out of your pay. I want you to go get your hair fixed up. Shears ain't hairscissors, Luna. And maybe get yourself some juice or coffee or whatever it is you drink. Or ice cream." He glanced at Jo. "And get him a car battery to drink or somethin'. Jesus."

Luna's eyes widened. "Ah... Ah--"

"And if you still feel bad tomorrow, do us a favor, okay? Call in."

A pause.

"Take it."

Luna slowly reached out to take the bill from Charlie's hand. She lowered her head, face flushing with shame.

"I take care of my own, y'hear?"

A nod, and a faint smile.

"And the plants do better when you're in a good mood, anyway."

Her smile grew a little wider.

Charlie smiled gently and ruffled her hair; what was left of it. "Now get out of here."

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:44 pm

Jo and I went to Durem after work. Took the train. I looked awful. People were staring at me and I don't know why. We went to the salon there. The stylist, Vanessa, was very understanding and gave me a nice cut. It's shorter in back and longer in front now. She went with the way I cut my hair and made it look nice. It... does look pretty, I guess. I look like Uncle Vilden.

Jo is upset. Very upset. Very twitchy. He doesn't like not being able to hear me. I don't like not being able to hear him, either. I don't like not being able to hear anything.

Ma tried to explain why she did what she did. I... guess I understand. But I'm still mad.

I don't think I've ever really been mad before. But I'm mad now. I'm mad because I can't hear and I can't sense and how do I know that everyone isn't lying to me?! I can't sense anything and it's horrible. I can't go out like this. I won't go out like this!

...Ma said I need to. She said I need to get out and get used to the quiet.

I have to... learn to function like everyone else does.

I don't want to.

It's... hard. This isn't going to magically make me talk.

But there really isn't anything I can do about it.

It's not fair. Life isn't fair, I know, I know. But it's still not.

But... the more upset I am, the worse Jo gets.

I can't do that to him. I just can't. Even... even if I'm mad or upset or scared... I still need to smile for him.

That's going to be the hardest thing.

Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:46 pm

Junyi

Sketched this at breakfast. Luna caught me and tensed up while I was working. She's obviously uncomfortable with both her hair and her vulnerability without her ability. I almost said "only means of communication," but I forget that she's not only fluent in sign language, thanks to Jokeph, but she can also write. Perhaps they'll both have to "share" Zohar-- Jokeph's Nightmare.

This has been extremely difficult on all of us. Jokeph has become impossible to deal with, and I've had to "leave him to Luna," as it were. Luna has become uncharacteristically moody and withdrawn, but that's to be expected.

Watching her frustration reminds me of my own childhood. Sure, I'm an empath. I'm enough of one to communicate well with the Porcelain, and I can sense what Luna's feeling most of the time. But that's because they actively project their feelings. Or used to, in Luna's case. If it weren't for the projecting? I'd be "perceptive." But hardly empathic. I can sense confict and tension, and joy and pain, but vague feelings? Yeah, right!

And it was frustrating growing up, unable to sense in others what they sensed in me. It was easy for me to be lied to, and boy, was I ever. I was the butt of just about every class prank.

I suppose it's almost... silly in a way, that I'm glad for this. I see a lot of Vilden in her -- now, more than ever now that her hair is cut short and obviously dark. But mostly in her mental strength and her demeanor. She's... definitely a Keth.

And I see a bit of Yeu in her. She may have my eyes (but not the color), but when she buckles down and puts her mind to something? She's her father's daughter. She has that same seriousness to her when she's studying, same manner of calling bullshit (Eyeroll...), and even the same gleam in her eye when she's found something interesting.

Honestly, though? I never really saw much of ME in her, aside from the eyes and hair color.

But now? When she glances at the man who's sitting by the window and staring into space? She gets that same look of frustration that I did. When she tries to communicate with her mind and fails, she snaps her fingers like I used to. I don't think she even realizes the parallels.

Is it wrong to be relieved to see my daughter suffer like I have?

I don't know, but... well... at least this is finally something I can help her through. I don't think it's wrong to be relieved for that.

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:47 pm

"Hey."

Luna glanced up from her book, a questioning look on her face as she raised her gaze to meet her mother's.

"Can I sit?" June's hands signed as she spoke; a habit she took to when dealing with Jokeph. It was how she was able to keep from getting rusty. Besides, it was a good habit to have.

Luna nodded, dog-earing the page she was on and setting the book aside before gesturing to the empty cushions of the living room sofa.

June tentatively sat on the couch, leaning against the opposite armrest. "I just wanted to let you know..." A pause as she considered the best way to convey her thoughts. "I'm proud of you."

Dot. Dot. Dot. Luna's hands worked stiffly as she responded; she genuinely wasn't expecting such a statement. What? Why?

"Your handling of all this." June was signing faster now, her face breaking into a smile. "You've been doing extremely well. And I'm proud of you for it."

No, I haven't. Luna lowered her head as she signed. I cried on Elle. And--

"And then you collected yourself and found ways to work around it," June interrupted. "You didn't hide from it. You didn't shut down. You didn't become a total pain to live with." A wry smile at that last part. "You handled it a lot better than most adults, you know."

Luna smiled faintly, eyes meeting her mother's once more. Really?

"Better than I would have," June admitted.

No!

June snorted. "Yes."

Really?

June thought on that a while. "...Maybe a little better. I told you I didn't handle being 'deaf' very well, remember? I probably would've been worse if it happened all of a sudden."

Luna hesitated as she mulled it over. Thank you, Ma.

"What for?"

The nice words.

"Hey, I meant them!" There was a hint of indignance in June's voice.

I know! It's just--

Another snort. "Yeah, I know. But you needed to hear them. You know... you never really needed encouragement before." June hugged her knees to her chest, forgoing the signing for a while for the sake of comfort. "It's good for me to do my job for once."

Luna's smile grew teasing. What job?

"Watch it, baby. I brought you into this world--"

And you can take me out just as fast. By now, Luna's hands had become more expressive, giving her last words a sing-song quality to them.

"And don't you forget it."

"Heheheh," Luna giggled quietly.

"I hear a la~augh..."

It never failed. Although Luna's hands flew to her mouth to stifle the laughter, it still burst forth in an unstoppable torrent until even June was infected with the giggles.

"Feeling better?"

A nod.

"Are you still sore about your hair?"

Luna shook her head slowly. Elle likes it.

"But do YOU like it?"

It's cute... Luna trailed off thoughtfully. And I could get weaves or falls if it really bothers me.

"Hey, now that's a thought!" June sat up straight, pointing at Luna. "Now that would be CUTE on you."

I could get blue or--

June made a face. "Oh, LUNA, no. Couldn't you get something a little less... garish?"

It's MY hair! And my money, too. Luna punctuated the statement by folding her arms across her chest.

"Oh, fine, fine. Be Blue-head, scourge of the Keth house."

Mother!

"Just..." June sighed. "Just be smart about it, okay? And no dyes!'

Luna frowned. Why not?

"Because it'll ruin your pretty hair!"

It's my hair!

June relented. A LITTLE. "Nothing permanant!"

Ma--

"No! Not until you're an adult."

Luna sighed loudly. You just SAID I--

"I know what I said." June waved her hand. "But acting like an adult and being an adult are two different things. And if you're serious about wrecking your hair now, you'll be serious about it in two years when you're eighteen. So no permanant dyes!"

Pout. Fine.

"Jeez, listen to us," June snorted, leaning back on the sofa. "Arguing like a mother and daughter. I mean, I know we ARE, but still." She paused, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully. "...I kinda like it."

Luna rolled her eyes. Because you're winning.

June thought that over. "Yeah, you know...? You're probably right." With that, she rose from the sofa. "At least I've got two more years of automatically winning arguments."

Another eyeroll.

"...You know that's not totally true." June ruffled Luna's hair affectionately as she passed by. "Now if you'll excuse me, the lasagna isn't going to make itself." One last pat. "Thanks for listening." With that, she disappeared into the kitchen, but not without one final parting shot.

"And remember! No permanant dyes!"

Luna Edae

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Luna Edae

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Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:48 pm

June

Okay, I'm in awe over here.

Ever watch your kid make unbelievable leaps and bounds over a relatively short period of time? No? Yes? Maybe?

I've watched Luna go from an impossibly sweet girl to an independent young woman.

All right, I should just... okay. I mean, on one hand, I'm going to miss that sweet little girl. But on the other, it's amazing to see how much of her behavior had been dictated by outside influences. Luna couldn't take the feeling of disappointing other people. So she always did what she was asked, regardless of whether or not she wanted to, or even agreed with it.

"Luna, you're a bright girl," I always told her. "I know school is hard for you, but you can do this." And she would. If she couldn't have sensed my expectations... would she have told me she didn't want to?

She stayed out all night looking for UFOs the other night with Elle. She knew I liked her to get some sleep, but she was having fun. She even teased Elle! Gently, of course, but still! She's never done that before!

Commander Haladet has been stopping by on a daily basis in order to check Luna's progress. Her empathy and telepathy has been coming back, and Lillian's been teaching her how to control it and filter it. Luna always was a fast learner.

She's doing so much better now. And I think... maybe all of this... watching her suffer and flounder under all this stress I heaped on her... maybe it's all worth it now. And I think she realizes that. She's her own person. She's not bound by outside influences now.

She was always "my daughter". "My child". "My little girl". But now, watching her, I don't see that anymore. Instead, I see "Luna".

And I'm proud to have her as a Keth.

Posted: Tue May 18, 2010 11:03 pm

...And that's all I have. It's been a while since I'd posted any commentary, but there's not much to say.

Elle and I have grown apart; we're still friends, of course, but no longer dating. I've decided to keep my hair short for the time being. I've completed my correspondence; some of my high school courses earned me college credit. I'm now in university; my time spent in the GMFC and with my niece as she had her little ones has nudged me towards either midwifery or becoming a doula. I can't decide which I'd like to do more; a doula's work is better suited to me, but I still want to have the medical training necessary to be able to offer real assistance during labor and delivery. Since both paths are fairly closely intertwined, I've decided to major in Nursing. Once I graduate, I can train to become a certified nurse midwife. And then, with that knowledge under my belt, I'll be able to focus on training to be a doula.

And now, to break the fourth wall for the final time:

Time and space on Gaia are tricky things. In the past three years, I've gained a cousin whom I'd likely gone to school with while I was on Neilan. Shared memories may arise that were never before mentioned in my journal, but I suppose that's just the way things go.

This will be my last commentary; now that the relevant journal information has been saved to this new, hopefully final journal, the others will fade from sight -- and my most recent prior to this one will eventually be deleted.

From now on, my posts may be either by me, on this account, or through Junyi. Most likely Junyi, as switching accounts becomes rather tiresome. As this account chronicled the past, my mother's main, Junyi, will chronicle the present and future.

Thank you for taking this journey into the past with me.

Luna Edae

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