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 Posted: Thu May 28, 2015 10:24 am
  Please Obey Wet. Hot. Stink.
Cruz sputtered and buried his face against the pillow, out of Tango's reach. The wolfhound was undeterred and continued licking at the croc, instead going for his arm, his hair, anywhere he could reach. When he finally got to Cruz's ear the frei shot up with a shudder. He gave Tango a few pets and scratches around his fluffy face but it did little to keep the dog from panting on him.
His eyes felt so heavy. It was a sensation that rarely happened, one that Cruz was not used to nor fond of. Normally when he woke up he felt refreshed but at that moment he felt worn down. It was difficult to move. Cruz had to force himself to roll over and face the other side of the bed. His eyes refused to cooperate for what felt like several minutes; his vision was murky and no matter how many times he blinked it felt like it refused to improve. Once he managed to see the clock on the nightstand he knew why: 4:17AM.
”Mmwhy...?” Cruz mumbled while wiping his face off on the back of his arm. Tango whined and tried to lick him again but Cruz kept a palm against Tango's chest. ”Gotta go out?”
Tango sat down. Cruz could hear the mutt's tail shifting against the carpet.
”Okay, jus-- mm-- just a second.”
It was well into May now but one touch to the sliding glass door told him how cold the beach was at this time of night. The extra few moments it took for him to gather his jacket and effects resulted in more whining and shuffling from Tango, which Cruz attempted to shush so Anita wouldn't suffer the same fate.
As soon as his leash was on and they were out the door, Tango hurried them along. Cruz's muscle memory stumbled when they got into the elevator and he pressed the second floor button instead of the first, resulting in a great deal of confusion for the both of them. After a mumbled apology to Tango and a second attempt – this time successful – they were able to leave the front lobby and head into the parking lot.
Tango's desperation hit full force once he caught sight of some grass. Cruz's body snapped straight with the leash and he was dragged mid-air by a galloping animal. This in itself wasn't wholly unusual but the sensation was very different during the day when one was awake and alert. In fact, most of the time, Cruz found it fun but at this precise moment it was like someone had slapped and knocked the wind out of him, then given him rug burn for equal measure. The leash had been wound around his forearm, which tightened and dragged uncomfortably against his skin. Cruz hissed but it was over as quickly as it had began; Tango made it to the grass in time to relieve himself.
”Easy,” Cruz whispered. His skin was still on the paler side, which made the red mark the leash caused to pick up clearly under the street light.
Despite how badly he wanted to crawl back into bed, the better idea was to tire Tango out as much as possible first considering the amount of energy he had. At the very least Cruz felt some relief that the hound took a more casual pace following his bathroom emergency and chose to plod along past the boardwalk and towards the sand dunes.
The gentle crashing of waves was a soothing sound. While Tango lead the way, Cruz felt relaxed enough to close his eyes. If not for the movement and the lingering ache from his arm he might have fallen asleep while floating. The thought reminded him of Aina, so sleepy, which made one corner of his mouth lazily curl up. Everything felt so comfortingly drowned out as they walked along the beach, Cruz hardly heard the gulls nearby.
Like a vice, Tango's leash tightened around the tender area on Cruz's arm. He let out the start of a yelp that was cut short as his breath was knocked back. An acute soreness bloomed in his left shoulder from being whipped around so sharply. Tango charged after the gulls like a raging bull, kicking sand towards Cruz. The croc whined and shielded his face with his other arm.
”Tango!” he called, though it came out as more of a weak croak.
Cruz gripped the leash with both hands, keeping his eyes and mouth clenched shut. Like climbing a vertical rope in gym, the frei crawled down Tango's leash. Each pull was arduous, clumsy, and weightless.
”Tango, please!” Once he reached Tango's back, Cruz wrapped his arms around the mutt's neck while he was still running full force after the gulls who now chose to fly low in a gaggle.
What if he couldn't make Tango slow down? What if they ran so far into the dark that they got lost? Why wasn't he listening? What if the gulls lead them into the ocean and Tango couldn't get out? Why couldn't he just ignore them?
His heart was pounding so loudly in his ears it silenced Tango's excited barking and the seagulls cries. Deep in his core there was a cold, sinking feeling, worry and distress piling up with something else, something that was harder to define. His rune felt tingly, like when a limb is just starting to fall asleep.
”TANGO!”
The tingling sensation mixed with the cold. It spread out towards his fingers and the top of his head like a wave. Cruz clutched so tightly to Tango that he couldn't even feel the wind anymore. Then, he realized, that was because Tango was no longer running.
The frei peeled his face away from Tango's fur to look around. They were back to a casual pace, slower even then they had gone earlier.
A small sound escaped Cruz's throat. He stared at the back of his dog's head for a few moments. Something about Tango's pace and movement felt different, almost mechanical. A tight frown pursed Cruz's lips.
”S-sorry...” he murmured. It was enough to get Tango's ears to swivel. ”Sorry I yelled...”
Cruz adjusted his arms around the wolfhound and nuzzled against his fur. He whispered more apologies and it seemed to Cruz that the more he offered the more relaxed Tango became. Relief swam over him much differently than the chill that gripped him moments ago and the croc settled lightly atop Tango's back, feeling more tired than when he first woke up.
”Let's go home.”
Tango needed no other encouragement to change their course. His tongue lolled happily as he trotted off the beach and towards the apartments just as the sky was beginning to turn blue.  
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Posted: Sun Jun 07, 2015 10:02 pm
Delayed Reaction Spring Cleaning wasn't quite a ritual in their household like it was to some. While other tenants in the building filled bags and boxes with things to donate or throw away, for room #10 on the third floor of Wavecrest Apartments it was more about rearranging. The main rooms were largely kept the same but bedrooms were practically overturned. In the wake of their reorganizing, Minerva had practically gutted the master bedroom – her bed was tucked into a far corner and out of the way, wall hangings had been switched out, shelves were cleared for new materials, and other furniture was shoved out into the living room for the time being, including the television.
Their room was in much the same state, with the furniture and bed placement altered. Anita and Minerva both had small bags of things they would be getting rid of but Cruz was quite adamant about keeping all of his knick-knacks; it was only a matter of figuring out where to put them all.
This past year had been quite a big one in terms of gifts. From Christmas to his birthday, every little holiday in between, and sometimes just because, Cruz had come to acquire a large amount of items that he loved quite dearly but wasn't at all sure what to do with.
Over the years he had come to acquire an enviable amount of ribbons in all manner of color, length, and variety which needed much more organizing than getting piled into a box. With Minerva's help he had picked out a plastic organizing case with little cubbies that he could slip the ribbons into based on their color, and this was going to be kept tucked neatly in the top dresser drawer for easy access. Anita was consolidating most of her items and clothes to the closet, which left cruz the entirety of the dresser to organize however he liked and that meant tucking numerous odds and ends into every corner. All of the stuffed animals and toy gifts he acquired were arranged in separate drawers or, if they were too big and lively looking to be secluded as such, they decorated the top of the dresser instead to share space with Anita's stuffies.
The gigantic crocodile plush that Duncan and Mordekai got him was spread across the bed just beneath the pillows, its only task to protect comfort and keep the bed looking cute until Cruz came in for rest – then it, too, became a pillow. It was certainly a good cuddle companion if Tango was elsewhere! Scarves were hung on a hook on the back of the door and clothes were folded into the bottom drawer. Outfits were what he had the last of, compared to all of these other things, but he was quite pleased with the collection so far.
Shep's gift to him, the Crocodile Dundee hat, was hung over top the scarf hook for easy access. It was definitely going to come in handy with the weather warming up to cut some of the heat when Cruz wasn't sunning himself. The kissing dice were tucked into the nightstand, somewhere he could keep an eye on them while also being small enough to consider it a punishment. They were still in a timeout after his birthday, as far as he was concerned, and Cruz wasn't entirely sure they had learned their lesson. Zuri's handmade croc sat atop the stand beside the lamp, a cute decoration until the colder months when he would truly need its microwavable hide. The floppy croc given to him by Grumpaws was nestled beside it but Cruz couldn't get it to sit like Zurine's so it lay limply across the nightstand.
He was feeling quite confident in his placement of all these gifts, these important treasures. With all this extra room and this newfound neatness there would be no way he would lose track of anything. Cruz felt light as he made his way to the box and began digging out the last few things. Some drawings he did on his own, others with Aina, some books he hadn't read yet (but fully intended to!), and Iorek's gifts.
Cruz paused at the gargoyle's presents and tucked his ribbon to a small pile on the carpeted floor. Reks had given him quite a lot of gifts, hadn't he? Cesc did too, he supposed, but each was from a different member of the Vermillion household.
Another scarf wound its way around the hook before he moved on to the rest. A jar of green seaglass, that was pretty enough to go on top of the dresser too. It fit perfectly as a divider between Cruz's stuffed animals and Anita's, while catching the light from the open door. For a moment, the croc lost himself in opening and closing the door to see how it affected the reflected shimmers across the walls and how they accented the Christmas lights strung up around the top paneling.
Iorek had made drawings, too, which were very nice, but considering the format they were in – a comic book, no less! – it seemed better to put away with the other books for the mean time. That left two things, this painted rock and whatever these cards were. To be honest, Cruz hadn't looked at the gifts much since September ended. He was so quickly swept up in the excitement of Aina's birth, and then all of the holidays, the end of the year felt devastatingly busy – not to mention how the deep Winter took its toll on him. Cruz felt a little guilty for not paying them more attention but he supposed that was part of the reason people did Spring Cleaning: to make room for the important things!
The rock had a little face painted on it that Cruz found exceptionally cute. It looked a little dopey with its big smile and googly eyes but it was just right for a pet, as Iorek had explained. Though it couldn't speak or move, the cute little rock certainly needed a name. Cruz held it in his palms and tilted his head, mimicking the face his pet rock bore.
”You know what name kind of sounds like 'cute'?” he asked, holding the rock aloft. There was a pause, as though Cruz expected it to answer. ”Kyoo-tuh. Kyoo-pid. You'll be a cute Cupid.” The silence continued, as did Cupid's dopey stare. Cruz grinned.
With that settled, Cruz set Cupid at the very front of his stuffed animal collection. Together they would all never be lonely, the stuffies could keep Cupid warm, and Cruz could easily spot him from anywhere in the room. Perfect again. He was getting really good at this whole organizing business, he thought, and returned to the box feeling triumphant.
Iorek's handmade cards made him hesitate again and this time Cruz pulled the whole deck out to look them over. Each card was large and a bit thick. He wasn't sure what material they were made from but it was obviously sturdy to be worked on with Iorek's large hands. They all shared the same large scrawl and, despite not looking very refined, Cruz could tell the effort that Reks put into each one. There didn't appear to be a particular order to how they were arranged and so Cruz rifled through them, one by one, with wide curious eyes.
The first was a card he could cash in for hand holding, the second for a kiss. Some repeated but all were things Cruz relished and appreciated; contact and affection. Hugs, brushing hair, even massages lined the deck along with loving reminders of their bond and friendship through written offers of offering protection and Reks always keeping his ears open to listen to any of Cruz's worries. They were rather heartwarming and the mistletoe raevan found himself smiling wider and wider the further he went into the deck.
As he got closer to the end, a few other cropped up that slowed his hand. A candle lit dinner. Romantic outings.
Dates.
Cruz's smile waned. His brows knit and he pulled these cards out of the deck, setting them on the floor in a separate pile. They were scattered all throughout but there seemed to be more of them towards the end. Cruz just barely hovered above the floor, so low that his rune was nearly against the carpet.
Those weren't typically things friends did together, he thought. The ideas weren't unpleasant, certainly not, but they held certain connotations he came to understand through movies and television, certain expectations that were reserved for the human rules of kissing and physical affection – rules that Cruz had never once followed.
An uneasy feeling settled in Cruz's core, familiar and unwanted. He recalled the exchange of this gift, the brief explanation that he could give these cards back to Iorek whenever he wanted to partake in what was written on them, and he was grateful. Further still, he remembered their game later and how excited the gargoyle had been when they finally rolled for a kiss on those dice. How Iorek had practically engulfed him, moving their lips together so deeply and enthusiastically Cruz almost couldn't breathe.
He remembered he didn't like that feeling.
Cruz frowned. It was by Anita's intervention that it ended that time, her call for them not to make out. Making out was tongue kissing, he knew, and the croc suddenly felt very relieved their kiss did not reach that point. He knew, as well, that making out was something that people who followed these rules and went on dates did. Cruz glanced at the deck of cards in his hand, covered with actions he would gladly partake in with any of his friends, and then to the separate collection of offending, uncomfortable cards that filled him with a sense of dread.
”Oh no...” his voice barely came out, just a breath of worry silenced by movement elsewhere in the apartment. Love was blind, Cruz often heard. He must have been, too, for this to have eluded him for so long.
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Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:12 pm
A Different Approach Days past with the realization looming at the edges of Cruz's awareness like shadows just out of sight. Since he first came to the conclusion, the croc felt weighed down by truth. How could he have misunderstood their friendship so badly? The more Cruz thought about it, the less he was sure who he meant; were they both wrong about each other? When it wasn't at the forefront, Cruz had little trouble going about his days and interactions normally, feeling light and at ease, but like a looming shadow in the corner of your eye, he would remember: the weight and worry would return.
Cruz opened his phone often and hovered over Iorek's name. No matter how long he lingered, he couldn't force himself to call – not yet. What was there even to say? He couldn't just blurt something like this out, not like he usually did. Cruz huffed into his pillow. Though he couldn't do it himself, he thought about all the shows and movies he watched where someone planted themselves on their bed and kicked their feet wildly; that seemed like the proper response to this situation.
After nearly two weeks of over thinking, Cruz finally decided on some course of action. He waited until there was a quiet time in the apartment, a lull in important activities and his family was relaxing on their own in separate rooms. Anita had taken up the living room and the TV, a console game set to pause while she moved to the kitchen for a snack.
”Nita,” Cruz approached hesitantly as his guardian opened the fridge. Anita hummed lightly in response. ”What did you do when--”
Immediately he ground to a screeching halt. He couldn't ask that, she had no idea he was involved with Justin's confession. Considering how she reacted the last time he admitted involvement in her kissing escapades, that topic was expressly off limits.
The croc's eyes widened slightly but he was quick to correct himself and not leave Anita room to ponder. ”Ah-- Do-- What do you do when... somebody wants to kiss you different?”
Anita leaned back from the fridge to look at him. ”Huh?”
Crap, that didn't go over right either. He grimaced, struggling with her kind of terminology and definitions. Human rules in relationships still confused him. Still, if that was the kind of kissing Iorek wanted to do with him then Cruz supposed it was fair.
”When someone wants to kiss you but you don't want to kiss them.”
”Oh.” her posture went slack. Anita closed the refrigerator door without retrieving anything. ”That's-- um...” Cruz braced himself. ”Is everything okay?”
Why couldn't she just answer directly? She always wanted to ask more questions before giving a straight answer. He was the one asking the questions here, Anita.
He sucked his lips in, then made a soft pop. ”Just wondering.”
Anita's brow furrowed skeptically. Cruz raised his brows and smiled. With a lingering glance, she opened the fridge door a second time and resumed her search.
”Well, it happens sometimes...” The croc nodded. He was well aware of that. ”You want to be gentle about it but you need to tell them you don't want to kiss them.”
His lips pursed.
”How?”
Her head peeked out again. This time she got as far as pulling out a pitcher of juice. ”What do you mean?”
Cruz held his hands in front of his chest, fingers fidgeting briefly before stopping, balling loosely, and then dropping to his sides. ”If you tell them, they'll be sad. Right? How do you tell them without making them sad?”
She set down a glass from the cabinet when he finished. Anita paused, put the pitcher down beside it, then turned and leaned against the counter. Cruz's brows upturned. She had her arms crossed and stared at the floor, legs overlapping at the ankle and one bare foot mostly covered by pajama pants wiggled its toes.
”You... kind of can't, bud.” His shoulders fell. ”It's hard. Unfortunately, that's not what they want to hear. That doesn't make it any less true and they need to know.”
Silence fell as the weight returned.
Each time it came back it seemed to grow heavier, or maybe the subject just became more exhausting. In every source of media, every movie, every show, every story he had been exposed to, and all of his experiences thus far with Anita and humans, it really did seem inevitable that someone would get hurt by being told “no”.
Still, there was a glimmer of hope. He and Iorek weren't human. They didn't follow the same rules. There had to be some way to make sure the gargoyle wasn't devastated by this news. They were still friends, after all! Besides, Cruz had been turned down for kisses plenty of times. It never bothered him, even if a set of lips looked particularly luscious.
The croc offered his guardian a hesitant smile, then a firm nod. She looked unconvinced but returned his smile all the same. He was grateful. The answers she gave wasn't what he wanted to hear, just like Iorek probably would not want to hear what he had to say, but Cruz felt assured there were more ways to approach this than his guardian realized.
In his experience, humans always went for the most complicated approach when the easiest solution was right under their noses.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 2:38 pm
Oh My Darling Every time Cruz thought he made progress in how to approach Iorek, he recoiled. It had been days since he spoke to Anita about his misgivings, however indirectly. She still asked now and then if things are alright thanks to his weak ruse but the croc continued to assure her he was alright. After all, it was the sort of thing that happened a lot in TV and movies – he was just asking out of curiosity for the story.
Lies.
He didn't like lying like this but when put on the spot it seemed like the only thing to do.
Cruz kept his phone close at all times. If ever there was a break where he was alone in the apartment, out walking Tango, or out on the balcony for some fresh air, his contact list was open and he lingered over Iorek's name. He couldn't call. In the bath, he would practice things to say and yet, no matter how many times he recited, everything sounded wrong. His voice shook and he had to stop.
They couldn't talk about this over the phone. It wouldn't be right. So, Cruz resolved, they needed to do this face to face. All that left was contacting Iorek, somehow, when any time his name came up on the call list it sent his heart into overdrive.
From: Cruz
hello?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:07PM
Cruz immediately set the phone on his bed. Heart in his throat, he stared at it with a conflicted sense of dread and longing. How could he want Iorek to answer so badly but be terrified of that exact same thing in the same moment? Each passing second made his core feel like it wanted to fold in on itself, like his rune wanted to rise up and hide inside his chest but the very notion felt sick. He covered his face with both hands and exhaled slowly – in, out.
The little jingle for received texts sent the phone vibrating happily and Cruz practically slammed into the headboard of his bed. He whined and rubbed the back of his head. With one eye, he peeked at the phone just as its front screen went dark.
Now that he had a response, he was too scared to look. It took several moments that felt devastatingly long for him to move at all. Did liquid cement spill on him like in the cartoons? One hand crawled across the comforter to the cell and dragged it closer to him, more like an obedient little animal than a part of himself he commanded.
From: Reks
Hey Cruz! :D How are ya?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:08PM
From all the build up, Cruz practically felt his bottom give out. While his rune first felt like it was trying to push him away, now he was struck with the curious sensation of his entire being wanting to drop out from beneath his ribbon and escape.
Iorek had absolutely no idea what this was about. The gargoyle was happy to hear from him. How could he approach this without ruining his friend's optimism?
From: Cruz
hi! doing ok. how are you?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:10PM
Cruz hated beating around the bush. He wished very badly to get to the point and not drag this out any further but every time he tried to steer his next message that way, he was quick to delete it.
From: Reks
I’m alright! Better now that we’re talking! :) How’s your day? What are you up to?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:14PM
From: Cruz
good! not up to much. lots of cleaning this month. was wondering... when are you free?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:19PM
Another lie. He wasn't good at all. The opposite, in fact.
It felt awful to hold a conversation like this, so casual and unassuming. Lines of thought that would be given on any other day about any other topic.
Each text was arduous for the croc to type. His thumb moved slowly across the keypad like a weight was tied to it. Worse yet, the time between replies allowed his heart and mind to race. Cruz built himself up again, only to come crashing down with his friend's next kind and oblivious response.
From: Iorek
oh boy! What are you guys cleaning up? And sure! I’m free whenever for you! 8D
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:20PM
The hairs on the back of Cruz's neck immediately stood on end. He felt prickly all over – the unpleasant weight returned.
No, no, no, he couldn't do this yet. Cruz had all the time in the world but not for this, not so soon. Of course, the sooner this got done the better, he knew that – but it was just a vague happening then with no clear place or time. No, he couldn't be the one to decide this. It put too much responsibility on him. He owed at least a little bit of control to Iorek when he had absolutely no idea what was to come.
From: Cruz
moving furnachure. throing stuff out. put all my pressents in drawers and made my room pretty. not sure when we can hang out next?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:25PM
From: Iorek
That sounds fun, I guess? Get it all done or do you need any help? Hmm…isn’t there a party coming up? The lab is putting it on? We could meet up there? I hear it’s going to be really pretty!
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:27PM
”Party...” he mumbled.
Was there? He honestly couldn't recall. Anita was usually on top of Lab events, it was entirely possible she mentioned it to him and he was too busy drowning in his own thoughts to listen.
Truth be told, a party didn't strike Cruz as the best place for this sort of thing. At the same time, maybe the atmosphere would make things easier. Being around others was definitely soothing for the croc, perhaps it was the same for the gargoyle. He hoped they could even slide into whatever fun the party itself offered, once this was all said and done.
From: Cruz
its all done. nita and nerva thru out alot more stuf then me.
Received: 2:29PM
Crap. His hands were shaking so much, he sent the text early.
From: Cruz
(oops!!!) oh?? have to check when. yuo want to go?
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:33PM
From: Iorek
Well good you got to keep lots of stuff? 8D I have a hard time throwing my stuff away too. And yeah! I’d love to go with you!
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:35PM
Something inside him suddenly ran cold. Up until then, the casual banter and dodging the issue was frustrating and stressful. It was hard to keep up with but Cruz was able to push on through sheer will power. Iorek's clear excitement made him feel sick.
This wasn't going right at all. His friend was happy to hear from him, Iorek wanted to see him and have a nice time but this wasn't a nice meeting at all. They had to talk, they needed to get things settled between them, but Anita's warning that it would hurt no matter what kept pounding in his ears.
No. That was the clumsy human interpretation, he reminded himself. He and Iorek were friends, good friends, and they should be able to talk about things like this without things going bad. This would work out. It had to.
From: Cruz
ya kept lots! you're presents ar on my dreser. mr rock is happy. his name is cupid. will check with nita bout lab party. wud be nice.
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:38PM
From: Iorek
Haha! What a great name. I’m glad to hear you two are getting along well! :-) And definitely! I’ll see if I can find the invite and I can send it to you if she doesn’t know.
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:40PM
Despite every reassurance he gave himself, Cruz couldn't stop shaking. He wanted this to be over. The emotional whiplash was exhausting.
From: Cruz
yes hes nice and smily. thank yuo. hopfally sea yu soon.
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:44PM
From: Iorek
Perfect! He’s a very happy stone. Glad I didn’t eat him! And yeah! Definirely! I really hope I can see you soon. I miss you.
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:45PM
A whimper drifted weakly from Cruz's throat.
Never before had he felt anything like this; dull ache all across his body, his heart refusing to beat calmly, thoughts racing and tangling with each other, trembling hands. His chest felt uncomfortably tight.
His heart hurt.
From: Cruz
mis you too
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:49PM
The next response was written in slow motion. Such a short one but it felt like it took the longest. For a few minutes, Cruz wondered if that was enough – if that was an alright place to end it. Time ticked by without a response. Cruz's thumb drifted lazily across buttons. Thoughtlessly, he wrote another message.
From: Cruz
<3
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:52PM
Muscle memory acted faster than his brain. Before he could stop it, his phone confirmed the message was sent and all of Cruz's nerves fired at the same time.
”No,” he wailed, ”No, no, no, no. Come back. Come back.” Cruz rushed through the phone's text options and folders as fast as he could. There was nothing he could find to stop the message but, in a last ditch effort, he deleted it from the sent folder.
Maybe Iorek hadn't seen it yet. Maybe that was enough--
From: Iorek
:-D <3<3
Received: Tue Jun 16, 2:52PM
--it wasn't.
With surprisingly calm motions, Cruz set the phone aside onto the nightstand. He turned over to rest his chest on the bed and gently buried his face into the pillow. Cruz's cry was muffled enough to not be noticed by the women in the apartment but he could hear Tango scratching at the door when he finally stopped to breathe.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 11:11 am
Summer Tea Party
starring manyLab hosts a garden tea party on its premises, where Iorek invites Cruz to meet but they have very different ideas of what they'll be doing there.
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Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 7:31 pm
"Need to talk..." he mumbled, gracelessly.
No sooner that he was in Cruz’s grasp he was suddenly released. That wasn’t good….he knew the stance Cruz was in rarely meant anything positive.
”Y-Yeah? About um…what?” Iorek smiled gently and rubbed his shoulder to hide the jolt of concern at Cruz’s words.
While he had a bad feeling about this, Iorek tried his best to be positive. Maybe this conversation was just going to bring them closer. Maybe Cruz wanted to talk about how happy he was that they were together? But…that kind of talk wouldn’t be hidden away from the others, isolated inside the lab.
Worry was setting in fast, no matter how badly Iorek wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay.
Cruz opened his mouth but nothing came out. He floated quietly for a moment, mouth slowly drawing back to a close. On his second try, a pitiful squeak came out instead. The croc realized very quickly that in all of his fretting he hadn't actually gotten to the point of the conversation; he had mulled over this day for weeks and left the precise process to the wind while assuring himself it would be fine once it was over.
He wracked his brain, trying to come up with something to start off with. Wasn't there a common phrase in movies that sparked this sort of discussion? Ah, yes.
"About... us."
Iorek grimaced at those two words. Just like Cruz, he knew what they meant from the movies and since they weren't locked in a tight hug or breaking from an intense kiss it wasn't good.
Iorek gulped and breathed in deep. There was still a little spark of hope that all would turn out well. But already he could see the little relationship he had built up in his mind begin to crumble.
"What ah...about us? Everything okay?"
Maybe Cruz just wanted a break? From what Iorek didn't exactly know...they hadn't really done a whole lot as a couple to begin with. But this event was supposed to change that. Maybe if he had brought flowers or something...maybe Cruz was upset he didn't bring a gift? Although...Cruz wasn't the kind of person to be mad about such a thing.
Iorek was so nervous to hear what Cruz had to say he was actually beginning to feel sick. He wanted Cruz to just tell him, but then he also just didn't want to know. Iorek wasn't stupid, at least not when it came to scenes he had seen played out in all the movies, shows, and comics he loved. He had a feeling he knew where this was going...
Cruz grimaced.
This whole situation seemed to just get harder at every turn and he knew it was mostly thanks to his own lack of foresight. He folded his arms and held onto himself while trying desperately to maintain eye contact with the gargoyle. What was the most gentle way to put this?
"Um... confused," seemed like a good start, "We're friends... right?"
Iorek mirrored Cruz’s hurt expression. He wasn’t sure what to expect but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be good or pleasant the longer their moment became.
”Of course we are. Good friends, right?”
Cruz trembled; his hands, his lips, even his wings. He pulled his lips tight and fought to keep looking Iorek in the eye.
"Right," Cruz choked out weakly, "B-but I think... you've been kissing me different than a friend. Not just to feed me." He winced, recalling Iorek's numerous deep kisses at his birthday party, like being force fed through a funnel.
Iorek flushed as he recalled all the kisses he had given Cruz. The gargoyle ran a hand through his untamed mane, ”Oh…well…yeah. I mean, I thought you liked it…" He thought that’s what couples did. They kissed, they desired one another, and they wanted to be close. It was something he saw repeated all over in books, movies, and tv. So…what could be bothering Cruz about their closeness?
”Do you not like it? T-Too much tongue or something? I-I might be a little too eager…" Plus he really couldn’t just practice kissing someone. Maybe he was just a really bad kisser? Poor Cruz…maybe if he taught Reks how to kiss better everything would be a’okay?
"N-no, it's not that, I--" Cruz fumbled, "I-I mean yes, it's just--" he held his head in both hands and pushed his cheeks back.
Oh god, where was he going with this?
It seemed so simple when the realization first clicked into place but Iorek didn't understand and now he had to explain. Cruz was never the greatest with words, they didn't quite elude him but he certainly wasn't as adept in their usage as his friends. If only he could be as eloquent as Cesc or Ethiriel.
"I-It's my fault... Didn't realize until recently. Yorek, you-- you kiss me different than friends. Than Thiriel, than Zuri."
The mistletoe frei pushed his fingers up through his hair, accidentally messing his ribbons weaved through the back. "Friends. We're good friends. But it doesn't feel like a friend kiss. It-- it feels like--" Cruz clenched his jaw. "--like I'm too full. There's too much, too fast. N-not just that, it's-- Like couples kissing. Like the movies. Like on TV. Like--
Cruz held his breath, then drew out a slow and trembling exhale. "The kisses you give me... have different feelings from the kisses I give you. A-and-- that's not fair. Not fair to you..."
Whatever optimism Iorek had left crumbled quicker and quicker as Cruz’s words hit hard. The cold feeling of dread set in and chilled the raevan to his core. This wasn’t good. They weren’t headed in a good direction and there was no way he could steer them them back.
Iorek was on a boat just about to head over a waterfall. ”W-Well…” His voice cracked when he finally dug it out of hiding. ”It’s not supposed to be…friend…kisses. I-I thought we were….you and I were…t-t-together.”
Had he misunderstood everything? Had he been doing it all wrong? Sickening dread licked at Iorek’s ribbon, ready to swallow him whole.
”I-I-I thought….I mean….I-I-I’m s-s-so…s-s-sorry…” Iorek’s voice was growing quieter and he couldn’t get it back. This was bad. He felt like an absolute fool and a total creep. Not fair to him? But he was the one who had pushed his love and affection onto Cruz when he didn’t want it. Iorek had just been so blinded by the idea of love…that he ignored everything.
”I just…t-thought you l-l-liked…me.”
And there, everything Cruz was hoping to avoid came pouring out all at once. The croc's eyes widened as he pulled on his face, horrified by the well of anguish springing forth from his friend.
All because he, Cruz, had been too stupid to explain before or catch the hints that now seemed painfully obvious.
"N-no, no, no no--" he cooed weakly. Cruz floated closer to Iorek, hands out and shaking, "I-I do, I do like you, you're my friend--"
Iorek grimaced but didn’t move back or towards Cruz as he floated near. As much as he wanted to move into his arms and hold the croc close with his realization such an act would only make things worse.
”I know that. I like being your friend.” Suddenly Reks was feeling angry. Obviously they were friends. He really liked being Cruz’s friend which was why he wanted to move up the ladder of friendship to that something more rung. Heck, he thought they were at that spot until just now.
”I really like you, Cruz. I just…I-I thought you liked me…more than just friends.” Iorek crossed his arms to hold himself together. ”I thought…you and me…we were…" Boyfriends. Together. Lovey-dovey. He gulped as their intimate moments, if they could be called that anymore, flashed by. Their first kiss, their touches, the laughs, the kisses, and even the party had been fun. But he had been seeing their friendship through Cupid’s spectacles and colored everything in love.
All he felt he could do now was weakly laugh as he looked between Cruz and the floor. ”I’m…really…r-really stupid.” Why did he choose not to notice any of the signs? Why did they have to be in such a position right now? Why did he feel so awful and sick? This was such a terrible feeling to go along with a very upsetting moment.
Just friends. More than a friend. These phrases perplexed Cruz all his life. In all of the same sources of media he consumed that built up these couples, these kisses, and even outside of it when trying to discuss rules of attraction, they always turned up. Now they haunted him.
Just, as though the title of friend was somehow undesirable. More than, like friendship was merely a stepping stone, that it was unworthy in its own right. Friends were good, friends were beautiful, friends were everything, and now it seemed that one of Cruz's own friends thought it wasn't good enough.
It hurt to hear.
"Y-you're not stupid, I--" but as much as it burned on Cruz's ears, he knew Iorek was confused and hurting too.
Cruz inched closer, hesitant and cautious. Gently, he slipped both of his hands around one of Iorek's bulky arms. The croc pressed his forehead into Iorek's shoulder -- his eyes clenched so tightly they burned. "S-sorry... Sorry. Didn't want this. P-please-- Please, don't be sad. We're friends. Please."
Iorek’s heart ached as he tried to come to terms with what was happening. They were breaking up. It was over. All his cute date ideas, snuggle sessions, kisses, and just holding Cruz’s hand was no longer possible. He had been so excited to show others that he and Cruz were a couple but now all Iorek wanted to do was hide under a rock and sleep for a hundred years. He didn’t have a special someone after all. Somehow he had crafted up this whole idea and now poor Cruz was caught in it.
He tensed when Cruz gently wrapped himself around his arm. Iorek wanted so much to pull him into a tight hug but that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Reks would end up begging Cruz for a chance to show just how good of a boyfriend he could be and that was a position no one should be on the receiving end of.
Reks shook his head and breathed in deeply. “D-Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” It was just a very cruel misunderstanding that neither side should feel guilty of. He felt so conflicted though. A part of him wanted to hold Cruz close while the other wanted to push him away.
Sadness, anger, and other negative emotions were swirling around Iorek’s head until suddenly they just…stopped. One moment Iorek felt tears well in his eyes, the next he was actually smiling. Suddenly his dark and dreary world of rejection had the light switched to on.
“Hey now, I’m not sad. I’m fine.” And as he said it, Iorek truly felt okay. Why did he feel so awful before? A break up wasn’t so bad. Heck, it wasn’t like they were really dating in the first place right? He was just being a silly gargoyle.
Reks chuckled at his mistake and wrapped his free arm around Cruz for a good firm hug. “We’re good friends. I just made a mistake. No sweat, Cruz. It’ll be a’okay.” As he broke the hug he moved his hand up to cup Cruz’s face. Ever so gently he moved the croc’s head so he was looking up at him, “You’re too good to be sad. I promise we’re still friends. No matter what.”
Of course, there was everything in the world to be sorry for. His friend felt stupid and confused but Cruz was really the stupid one here for not catching on for so long, wasn't he? He knew most people didn't follow his views on kissing and physical affection but he stubbornly pushed forward with them without regard for so long and now, finally, it was really causing problems.
His cheeks didn't feel hot -- in fact, he felt chilled -- so when his tears started rolling down, their warmth was oddly comforting. Iorek wasn't holding him; it was for the best, Cruz knew, but the idea that they might not be able to touch even as friends now stung bitterly at his core and he felt an unpleasant tingling concentrate from his rune. Beneath them it glowed brightly, alighting the sterile linoleum with an almost dangerous looking green, and then--
Cruz held his breath.
Everything about Iorek's demeanor changed in an instant; the tense way he held himself, the shaking in his voice, the cracking of his words -- gone, like they had never been.
The gargoyle's free arm looped around him and, though it was far from rough, it knocked the air from Cruz's lungs. All he could do was cling dumbly to Iorek's arm like he already had been, arms tightly woven around one thick bicep. His heart was pounding and surely his friend could feel it, especially as Iorek tenderly raised Cruz's head with a delicate cup of his tear stained cheek.
He opened his mouth to speak, then promptly closed it again as tears threatened anew. Cruz's lips twisted and shuddered with words he couldn't place, questions too primal to impart.
Finally, he managed to squeak out: "Y-you're sure? You're okay?" It was weak and he was still trembling, his voice shaken and fighting hiccups.
One second Iorek was berating himself and on a downward emotional spiral, the same as him, and the next his stony friend was the pinnacle of stability. Not sad, fine.
What changed? Was it something he said? Cruz ran back over his own words while his emerald eyes searched their green partners. It couldn't really be so easy to uplift someone by asking -- no, begging -- that they not be sad... could it?
Iorek chuckled and for a moment he just smiled at Cruz. What a silly problem they had had. Why had he been so upset? Just because they aren’t a couple anymore didn’t mean they couldn’t still be awesome bros.
He squeezed his friend tightly and ruffled his pretty green hair, ”Dude, you need to relax. I’m totally chill. Like an ice cube, or a glacier, or a polar bear…I’m cool. We’re cool. You got nothing to cry about, okay?”
He pulled Cruz away so he could bend down and inspect his eyes for signs of sadness. ”We would of been an amazing couple, not gonna lie. BUT, as Shakespeare never said, if it wasn’t meant to be, then it wasn’t meant to be." Reks was feeling better than ever as he talked and listened to his friend. It was as if all his worries and concerns were flushed down a drain and miles away by now.
He truly felt great! Like he could do a million sit ups or ask out lots of love interests. Sure, he had been rejected but now was the time to play the field!
Feeling as if that solved that dilemma Iorek patted Cruz on the back. ”We fine then? You and me? All cool and chill?"
Cruz sniffed, stifling back another hiccup. When Iorek's hug loosened, he brought a hand up to wipe his damp cheeks. There was still quite a lot of uncertainty in the croc's eyes while Iorek searched them and his lips were pulled tight. The gargoyle's banter was quite a surprise but it managed to pull at one corner of Cruz's mouth in a weak and confused smile.
"Y-yeah," Cruz mumbled. He wiped his eyes and pulled away completely from the stony frei. The pat on his back was appreciated but it still made him gasp.
It was Cruz's turn to search Iorek's eyes and he did so with a drawn and trembling breath. There truly was no sadness in his friend's eyes, nor anywhere else; Iorek was smiling, looking laid back and comfortable, and assuring him that everything was fine between them. It felt true and the relief that swept over Cruz allowed him to settle down as well.
Still, he couldn't quite replicate the stable energy Iorek was exuding yet. Not after such a mood whiplash.
"All cool," Cruz nodded while smoothing his hair back. He hesitated, glancing towards the door they entered through. "You still want to be friends with me?"
“Dude, we’re all cool so obviously I still want to be friends with you. You’re an amazing guy. I’d be stupid to cut you off.” Iorek grinned at his green buddy. Poor guy had been so worried! But now everything was a’okay because they were chill.
Who knew he would feel absolutely fine with this? Iorek always thought that his first break up would be devastating but instead he felt happier than ever. For a second he wondered why but his concern was quickly swallowed up by another burst of happiness.
He would never feel close to Cruz again. There would be no kisses, no hugs, no acts of affection like when he thought they were a couple. This realization should be crushing his heart and yet…he was totally okay. Reks had made an absolute fool of himself in front of the croc but rather than hide under a rock he could wiggle with glee. The pain of heartbreak was gone.
”Even if we never were a couple, we’ll always be good friends. Again, I’m sorry I put you in this awkward position but I’m totally fine. Promise." Iorek extended his hand to Cruz and gave him the most heartfelt smile that he could.
That promise took so much tension off the croc, he thought he might just fall to the floor then and there. He managed to hold steady, only dipping low enough for the tip of his ribbon to trace the tiles.
”Thank you,” Cruz said, his voice still a touch shaky, ”I'm sorry, too. Didn't mean for anything like this.”
That smile was so bright, it almost felt like they were back out in the sunshine. Cruz took a moment to soak it in before it became infectious and he, too, sported a shining grin. He took the gargoyle's hand – not delicately, like a lover, but firmly and eagerly like friends reuniting.
If this had been done through text or over the phone, Cruz never would have believed Iorek was really fine. Here, face to face, he could see it in the gargoyle's eyes. The sadness had been there at first, he knew – he saw it, heard it, felt it – but any trace of it was gone and he trusted what he could see with his own eyes. Cruz trusted Iorek's tone of voice, his smile, the ease with which he floated. There was no lie here. Somehow, just by asking, they managed to completely avoid ruining their friendship.
He didn't understand but the steadily growing warmth and comfort in his rune, and in his heart, told him he didn't need to.
This was good.
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Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2015 4:47 pm
After Tea, You & Me
starring Cruz & Aina After his talk with Iorek inside the lab building, things felt considerably lighter for the croc. They were back to casual banter and amiable smiles as they drifted out of the cool interior and resumed their participation in the party. That was hours ago and, without the tension of ever increasing anxiety to stifle him, everything seemed to pass in a blur. It was late evening when most of the guests left, though the Summer sun still hadn't fully dipped beyond the horizon. Iorek had long gone, taken his teapot planter and still seemed to be in good spirits.
Things were beginning to wrap up, which left Cruz feeling more relaxed about reuniting with Aina. He had been hesitant for quite a while, not wanting to overwhelm her again, but was pleasantly surprised to see her in such good and smiling company. He even got to say hello to Ethiriel, albeit briefly.
Cruz hugged his teapot planter to his chest as he drifted across the garden to the pomegranate prince. ”Aina,” he purred, low and comfortable.
Aina was having a much easier time as the tea party went along-- she was all laughter and smiles in the company of Miss Claire, Miss Ivy, Eth, and Cesc, but as the event drew to a close, the pomegranate grew tired and chose to retire to an even quieter corner of the garden premises. The rain Frei chose to whittle away her time with a collection of stray daisies and daffodils she'd collected in front of the Lab building, weaving its stems into small bracelets.
Humming to herself, Aina was waiting for Duncan to return from inside of the Lab-- he had just a few more errands left to complete and leftovers to organize before they could leave for home. When Aina heard Cruz just in front of her, she clutched a newly-finished flower bracelet to her chest and offered him a tiny wave, bashful and like she was newly born. It was strange behavior around Cruz, especially with how comfortable she was around the crocodile-- after hesitating, she smiled a little wider and spoke up, worry making her a little quieter.
“Hi Cruz,” Aina glanced back down at the flowers and fiddled with a few of their petals, “Um-- did you have a good party?”
”Hey,” Cruz rumbled pleasantly, "Very good."
His brows raised curiously at her tone but, considering how long the party had been, Cruz figured the rain child was pretty exhausted. He smiled at the ring of flowers she was working and hovered a touch closer to better inspect it.
”That's really pretty.” He glanced down at the planter in his arms, then presented it to Aina. ”Did you make one of these?”
Aina kept her gaze bashful and on the flower bracelets. She tucked away one of the daisies on her bracelet more neatly and squirmed, unsure of what to say-- but, quickly, she looked up at what Cruz was presenting and nodded, slowly, before returning to her flowers. Aina set the bracelet she finished on the ground in front of her and picked up another bunch of flowers by her side, and smoothed out the leaves between her fingers.
”Mhm, I gave it to Miss Claire 'cause she's going to have a Raevan baby soon.” There was a sharp breath after the sentence, like Aina was burning to ask something else-- but, there was no give, and she continued smoothing out her flowers until she gave out a small whine.
“U-um--” she began, holding her flowers tightly and staring at the floor, “Cruz...?”
The mention of a new raevan in Claire's care in conjunction with the word 'soon' made Cruz pull the teapot against his chest in a firm hug. His smile brightened and he let out a soft chuckle. ”That's nice of you. Hope the baby comes real soon.”
He looked over his shoulder, scanning the yard for any lingering sign of Claire or Ivy in the brief silence following. Aina's little whine didn't pull Cruz's attention back immediately, but the timid voice she used to call his name ushered in some residual anxiety from the start of the party. The croc fixed his gaze on her, lowering himself in her view.
”Yes?” he asked gently, ”You okay?”
Aina afforded a tiny grimace and nodded toward the floor; she was excited about the baby Raevan, to be sure, but there was something more pressing on her mind just then. She brushed the flower petals in her hands for comfort, because it was very hard to look at Cruz at all-- and, after her shoulders shrunk into herself just a bit, she managed to eke out something very quietly.
“Are you mad at me?”
The crocodile was taken aback. He stared at his timid friend, only able to blink dully for some seconds. Cruz's mouth fell open with a soft sound before he shook his head and lowered himself further, to be eye level with Aina.
”No-- no way,” he pouted, hands holding the teapot planter tightly. Cruz couldn't imagine ever getting mad at anyone, really, but especially her. ”Why?”
Aina stared back at the ground as Cruz spoke, twiddling with her flower bracelets; so much so, in fact, that one of them began coming undone. Upset and a tad frustrated, she chose to dissemble the flower bracelet completely until it was a limp cluster of flowers in her hands. She pouted.
“You looked really upset today. Your friend did too at me,” she looked up at him, suddenly wide-eyed; “Is your friend mad at me too?”
He watched her anxious fidgeting with steadily increasing to concern. One of his hands twitched against the pot as Aina began pulling the flowers apart, nearly reaching out to stop her, but Cruz refrained and mirrored her pout instead.
”Oh--” the crocodile winced, ”No, I-- I don't think so.” He looked over his shoulder in a vain attempt to locate Iorek so he could assure Aina himself but the gargoyle had been gone for hours. Biting his lip softly, Cruz looked back at the poor rain child's face. ”Was upset today... but not at you. You didn't do anything bad, Aina, was just... uncomfortable. Had to talk to him about something.”
Oh...” the pomegranate's expression seemed to relax at the reassurance, but she still looked a touch worried as her eyes waned to the ground again. She let go of the clump of flowers to look at the pollen and smears of leaf that coated her small hands-- she tried the mess off on her cardigan.
She trusted the crocodile-- and sought comfort from him, too; knowing that everything was okay between them, Aina reached her hand out for Cruz's. It was always easier to talk to him when they held hands, she thought. “Why were you uncomfy? What did you have to talk to him about?” Holding her sunhat to her head, she arched her head up to look at him more fully, “Is your friend uncomfy too?”
The reach of her small hand confirmed without a doubt that Aina accepted his explanation and Cruz took her chilly little fingers into his. It felt refreshing from the Summer sun, like a faint waft of air conditioning.
”Mm,” Cruz started hesitantly. He stared at the plants in his teapot. ”He was,” Again, on reflex, he glanced away to see if some hint of Iorek remained but there was no sign of him – only a small scattering of people that looked like they were getting ready to leave. ”Had a misunderstanding. He, um--” it seemed so silly, now, to try and say aloud; how long neither of them realized, ”--thought we were kissy friends, like Nita and Momo? So... had to talk to him about that.”
And all things considered, strange as it was, everything turned out so much better than expected. Raising his brows and chin, Cruz gave Aina a smile. ”He's not upset anymore though. We had a good time after.” A very good time, despite the curiosities of their conversation. Swept from his mind in place of a few jolly hours, the strangeness of his exchange with Iorek settled back like a strange aftertaste. His smile wavered, not quite flattening so much as going lopsided.
”He was sad,” Cruz continued, unprompted, ”but then he was good.” Because Cruz begged Iorek not to be. The croc's eyes drifted from Aina's blues to the grass. ”Aina,” he said, looking back at her, ”Do you think you can make someone feel better just by asking?”
With her hand holding his, Aina looked over yonder at the direction Cruz was, only to find no one. She continued looking in the hopes that they could, but when it proved fruitless, she glanced back up at crocodile, swinging their arms a little. “Why'd he think you were kissy friends? Don't kissy friends kiss each other an' stuff?”
Confused, but relieved that Iorek was okay, Aina looked down at the ground again and nodded. “Does that mean your talk went okay?” she asked, as she tugged the ends of her cardigan; one glance at the mess of flowers on the ground reminded her that she had to clean up after her messes. Without letting go of Cruz's hand, she leaned forward, tugging his arm a little in the process; she took off her sunhat collected the loose daisies in it while he spoke. When the older Frei asked her something, she floated upright and handed the crocodile a daisy: the best one of the pile, not mushed up and with all its petals intact.
When she didn't have a direct answer, she looked down and fiddled her bangs. “Um... ” she started; she shook her sunhat a little, making the daisies in it hop. “Were you really really polite? Did you say please an' stuff? ”
”Ah, yeah--” Cruz glanced away at Aina's first question. It was valid and, of course, now that he was older and understood more, he could see where Iorek's confusion came from. Still, that was more than he was looking to explain today, so he allowed the rest of his answer, and Aina's attention to it, drift on as he spoke of other things.
He nodded, not minding the gentle tug at all. So much more than just 'okay', it seemed, but Cruz couldn't quite find the words for it. It took him a moment to notice the flower offered to him but as soon as he did Cruz took it carefully and smiled at Aina. The daisy was tucked safely with the other plants in his teapot for the time being; he thanked her and swung their arms a little in turn. ”Yeah. Said please and sorry a whole bunch. Asked him not to be sad... and then he wasn't sad anymore.”
Aina didn't seem to notice Cruz evading her first question. When he took the daisy, she offered a small smile and hugged her sunhat close to her, keeping its contents safe while they swung their arms together. “If you said please an' sorry a whole bunch... oh, Duncan an' Momo said if you wanna ask someone to do something,” she looked down at her daisies, “You gotta say please and thank you after. Did you say thank you too?”
Their arms kept a slow, gentle sway that almost became involuntary. Cruz furrowed his brow and looked skyward while trying to recall; he nodded firmly. ”Mhm. Said 'thank you' before we came back out. He seemed happy.” Idly, his thumb traced along the side of his teapot – he admired the flowers, especially the small daisy. ”Was just kinda fast... He was sad and we-- we were kinda crying, and... boop. Said he was fine. All better.”
Aina couldn't help but giggle at Cruz's small boop, despite the conversation they were having. She grew quieter afterward, pouting; that seemed strange, even to her. She looked over at the Lab building, hopeful that Duncan could help them reach an answer; when he wasn't in sight, though, she hummed and pressed the rim of her sunhat to her lips.
“Maybe he was really really happy that you were really polite,” she began; triumphantly, she nodded at the crocodile Frei. “And 'cause you're still best friends an' stuff! If you can't be kissy friends...”
Her giggle bright Cruz's smile back to its usual shape and strength and he followed Aina's glance to the Lab building. ”Maybe...” It didn't seem quite as simple as that, which was certainly an odd situation for the mistletoe frei who always wanted the simplest solution to everything. Aina's reassurance was well received, though, and for the mean time it was a good enough answer for him; he didn't need to stew over this at the party when everything was done and pleasant, and he certainly didn't need to drag Aina into it.
Cruz gave Aina's hand a soft squeeze, chuckling a little. ”Yeah, that's prolly it. You're smart, Aina.” He grinned, toothy and genuine.
Aina grinned and nudged her head against Cruz's arm in affirmation; she seemed pleased with his response, and now that everything was really okay, the tea party was definitely ending for her in good spirits. She looked back at the Lab facility and brightened when she noticed Duncan at the window, and when he saw the Frei staring at him, he smiled and waved back before taking his leave. Humming, she contently held her sunhat close and glanced at Cruz's hand.
“If he's your best friend, can we all, um--” she paused, searching for the term, “Can we all hang out together soon?”
He giggled at her nudge before following Aina's gaze to the building; it took him a moment to spot Duncan in the window but he smiled in return. Cruz looked back to Aina, then at their hands. The croc rumbled thoughtfully – he leaned down to place a kiss atop her head, only to blow a raspberry at the same spot afterwards.
”Yeah! We can take Tango along the beach and stuff, or anything you wanna do.” When Duncan exited the building, Cruz gave Aina's hand a soft swing before leading the way to him.
Even with all of the bumps and anxiety, today really did turn out to be better and a whole lot more simple than he could have ever predicted.
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Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2015 9:32 pm
Deja Vu But he knew it wasn't as simple as that.
As much as Cruz wanted to go with Aina's theory and write the matter off, Iorek's swift change in demeanor nagged at him for days. It was so sudden, so jarring, but inexplicably familiar.
The topic wasn't on his mind constantly but it never fully left either. Little things would remind him of it; the scent of flowers from the planter, a cool breeze from the air conditioner like the white walls of the lab, even distant conversation from the TV set would bring him right back there where he continued to stew and wonder.
Cruz huddled on the floor with Tango, the dog sprawled on his side, and looked out at the shoreline from the balcony's sliding glass doors. Seated at the dining table just a few feet away, Anita spoke on the phone – she told him who it was but it didn't stick. The whole conversation sounded distant to the croc as he was lost in his thoughts, the sight of the ocean, and the softness of Tango's fur. He leaned his cheek against the glass, cool in the shade of their awning despite the muggy summer air. Anita laughed and a corner of Cruz's mouth crooked up.
With an ear pressed against the door, he could faintly hear the sounds of Gambino in the afternoon – and a nearby fluttering of wings. On the railing of their balcony stood a lone seagull that hopped down onto their balcony proper and took advantage of the shade. Cruz glanced over at Tango and smiled with relief that the hound hadn't noticed the bird at all. His hand paused halfway down Tango's side; that sense of relief was familiar as well. Cruz looked back at the bird, who seemed busy toddling around in search of crumbs.
It was the same that night, too; he clung desperately to Tango while getting pulled along the beach in pursuit of an entire flock of gulls. He cried out for Tango to stop just as he begged Iorek not to be sad – and it worked instantly. No resistance, no argument, two bad situations resolved in the blink of an eye.
”Cruz?”
He jolted at Anita's voice, suddenly much closer. She gave a start herself but placed a hand on his shoulder. ”Sorry, buddy,” Anita laughed unsteadily, ”You okay?”
”Ah, yeah,” he mumbled, ”was just watching a bird.” Cruz pointed out the doors – the gull had already left. ”You off the phone?”
”No, not yet. I just had a quick question.” The frei's brows rose. ”From the sounds of it, Leigh might need some help later in the year at her store. She was wondering if you might be interested in that 'cause it'll be around Christmas time.”
He perked up, floating a tad higher. ”What kind of job?”
”Help customers, keep things tidy, decorate. You can reach all the high places to hang lights and stuff. Does that sound like something you want to do?”
To say there was no hesitation in Cruz's nodding would be an understatement; he regained his full height to float eye level with Anita, head bobbing enthusiastically. She laughed again and pat his shoulder before returning to the table and the phone. ”Yeah, he's into it--”
Anita's voice drifted back to that distant muffle as Cruz turned back towards the balcony. He set that distraction aside and held a hand to his head. His mind felt fuzzy at the possibility of this revelation; could he really have caused those changes in Tango and Iorek? Was it just from his words or was it the desperation in both circumstances, if it was really him at all?
He stared at his hands, a slight tremble to his tanned fingers. Cruz never had much power; for the longest time there seemed to be nothing at all. His essence was simple, his food was simple, the one power he knew he carried was just as simple. Mistletoe, kisses, they were bound together so tightly within him that there was little space for much else – except for one thing, long ignored. He was not just a plain sprig of mistletoe, he sometimes forgot, but a forceful one. Mistletoe that compelled those caught near it to kiss.
Perhaps the answer had been there all along. If that were true, then the mistletoe's power – no, his power – now extended well beyond kisses. He could help people avoid bad situations, like with Tango, or relieve them of the heaviness in their hearts like poor Iorek. With it, those he could reach out to wouldn't have to endure sadness or pain anymore.
An entire world of possibilities suddenly opened up to Cruz; he just needed to learn how to use it.
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2015 1:50 pm
Wrong Number Soft pink and deep blue, like a sunset over waves.
That was how Minerva described it, anyway, when she asked Cruz to paint her toes. It wasn't turning out quite as poetic as that but the croc was far from disappointed. He dipped the brush small brush into the bottle of blue polish and leaned close to spread it over the dried pink layer of her big toe as carefully as possible.
One foot was already done, which Minerva had draped over the arm of the couch with her toes spread for it to dry. The frei was tucked close to the floor and the woman's right foot, planted on the wood floor by her heel. Behind him, the television played at moderate volume some court room drama that seemed positively doused in romantic tension and countless misunderstandings from relationship bias or other legally dubious transgressions. Every now and then, Minerva would scoff or Tango would come over to check on the weird smell and Cruz would hold up the brush mid-stroke to keep from messing his progress.
”I can't believe Todd is hitting on his client,” she said, shaking her head. Cruz looked up from his work and saw Minerva's tone didn't match her face at all; her voice was chiding but she was grinning and her eyes were glued to the screen.
He glanced over his shoulder to see one of the lawyers sitting very close to a woman and resting a hand on her knee while speaking – she looked uncomfortable. ”He likes her?” Cruz returned his attention to the half painted toes, ”Like that?”
It was important, he finally decided, to offer some acknowledgment to the differences.
”He wants to kiss her, yeah,” Minerva answered a bit absently, ”but he's being obnoxious and unethical.”
”She doesn't want to kiss him,” he affirmed as he finished with her third toe.
She nodded. ”That's right. Plus, he's married. And the guy who was assaulted in this case is her boyfriend. And the defendant's lawyer is his wife. He's just doing this to try and get more money, it looks like.”
Cruz lifted his voice without lifting his eyes and took a singsong tone, ”It's not workiiiing.” Minerva chuckled.
Again, Tango found his way over to them. He whined, first high and needy, then low and gruff as he laid down to stare; pouting. Cruz grinned while dabbing gently at Minerva's pinky toe. The croc leaned close to examine his work and, carefully, used his sharp nails to remove any excess polish from her cuticles.
”There. All done.”
Minerva leaned forward to inspect her toes, stretching them out the same as her other foot. After a second she smiled to Cruz and reached out to poke his nose. ”Thanks, buddy. They're gawgeous.”
He beamed up at her from the floor while collecting his tools. As soon as Cruz rose several inches, Tango shot back up to a sit with his ears perked high. ”Oh, you gotta go out.” The wolfhound whined again, punctuating it with a huff. "Just a second. Tell me what happens, okay 'Nerva?”
”You got it, dude.” She gave Cruz a thumbs up while reclining into the sofa with both legs resting on its arm.
The frei did his best to return to Tango in under a minute; he had to put away the nail polish, wash his hands, and collect his few necessities. Since getting the phone for his birthday, Cruz kept it on or near him at all times but this is where the frequent lack of pockets became a challenge. It was far too hot out for a jacket so he had to get creative with a bracelet that he kept his keys on, which also had a small hook for him to clip around the cell's charm string.
Calls were a bit of a rarity, texts being far more common, but still the phone's use was fairly limited.
With Tango's lead in one hand and well attached phone in the other, they set out for an afternoon walk. Gambino's sky was virtually cloudless today, which had its ups and downs. Compared to the air conditioned apartment, the waft of warm air was refreshing to Cruz but he had to be careful for his and Tango's sake that they wouldn't get overheated. Of course, his furry friend was in more danger of that than he was.
They walked along the water's edge after Tango took care of his immediate business, letting the mutt cool his paws off with the rising tide. Cruz tugged his leash gently each time Tango leaned down to try lapping at the salt water and, before long, they started on their journey back to the apartment so they could both be watered.
Only halfway back, his phone buzzed in his hand. Cruz grinned; Minerva must have finished the episode and couldn't wait to tell him all of the details. He flipped the screen up and gave a soft chuckle into the receiver. ”Hiii.”
”...Hello?”
That was definitely not Minerva.
It was unfamiliar, masculine, gravely, and uncertain. It was almost a whisper.
Cruz straightened up and changed his tone. ”Hi? Who's this?”
”Uh--” the voice quieted, as if the phone were pulled away. He heard the man clear his throat before returning with a little more strength, ”I'm calling for Anita.”
”Oh! This is her old phone.” The man didn't quite respond; he gave a short hum but Cruz was able to detect enough from it – he was disappointed. ”Nita's at work right now. Want me to tell her you called?”
”Mm-- no.” He paused. ”Thanks.”
Cruz pursed his lips. The apartments were only a block away now. ”Okay, um--” he started, just in the hopes of catching the guy before he hung up, ”--do you want her new number?”
For a moment, the croc wasn't sure if he succeeded; there was silence for a few seconds but he breathed easier as soon as he heard some shuffling on the line, like crinkling paper. ”Uh, yeah. I'd appreciate it.”
The man sounded surprised; hopeful, maybe? Cruz smiled and slowly rattled off Anita's new cell number two digits at a time with a long enough pause between them for the caller to go 'mm-hm' several times. Once Cruz was done, he was practically beaming while moving through the apartment entrance. ”That's it. Think Nita will be off in three hours.”
”Yeah. I'll, uh-- I'll try around then. Thanks.” There was still some lingering uncertainty in the man's tone from the beginning of the call but it had certainly dampened in that short amount of time.
”Welcome! Have a good day.”
With that, the frei closed the phone and gave a contented sigh. Tango glanced up at him, panting, and Cruz leaned down to scratch between the dog's ears. ”Think Nita forgot to tell one of her friends about her phone.” She was in for a pleasant surprise, Cruz was sure.
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Posted: Wed Oct 28, 2015 12:55 am
Customer Service Summer was always a busy time at the mall. Kids were out of school and gathered together in droves – not to mention new game releases and pre-order opportunities. Gambino Shopping Center was packed and Game Depot was no different.
That made it the most opportune place for Cruz to figure out this new ability. With packs of people coming in and out, there were endless attempts within reach. He could try for hours and there would always be new customers coming in to reset the stage in case he, inevitably, bungled his first few tries. Knowing this, Cruz had been rather insistent on coming with Anita to work with her. She was hesitant at first, considering how active her afternoon shifts were this season, but finally relented when he agreed that he couldn't stay behind the counter. Of course, that was the plan from the start.
He barely had time to wish Anita well with her shift before she was ringing up orders. Cruz drifted between congregating bodies, customers milling about and filling out most of the walking space between displays.
All he needed, now, was to figure out where to go with this.
Cruz glanced around the store once he found a somewhat empty corner. He craned his neck to see over the taller people, or at least between their heads.
”Is that all for you, today?” Anita asked at the register.
The customer was a man roughly her age with dirty dark hair, glasses, and a liberal amount of stubble, He nodded while fishing out his wallet, then startled and leaned back where he stood as a keychain swayed close to his face like a pendulum.
”Sure you don't want this?” Cruz gave the man a hopeful smile.
”Cruz.”
Without hesitation, Anita pulled the key chain away from the man's face. The frei floated easily with the movement and Anita looked back to her customer with pinker cheeks and a less sure smile. Once he was taken care of, not without sparing Cruz a critical look over his shoulder, Anita leaned close.
”Please don't bother the customers. You know better.”
There was precious little time for Cruz to react, much less for Anita to elaborate, before another customer moved up the line. With a frown, he returned the key chain to its wrack and distanced himself from the check-out counter.
He had to be smarter about this, more subtle. If Anita got upset with him while at work then it was game over for these trials and he would have to come up with a new plan.
Cruz took a slow breath. Just asking outright obviously wasn't the trick, with that reaction. What criteria would he have to set up for each attempt, he wondered. One distinct pattern from the previous attempts was that he had been upset, somehow; would he really have to get worked up over something before this could work?
Hoping this was one he could disprove, Cruz was filled with determination. So much, in fact, that he secluded himself to a corner of the store and tried very hard to think of things that made him sad or scared. At first, only superficial things came to mind – grievances in shows or games, schedules not lining up to visit his friends – but the more he pondered the more upsetting his thoughts became. He recalled his birthday party spiraling out of control until everyone was uncomfortable, the unease he had moving through the hedge maze with Axel some years back, LuLu's viscous surprise attack, and the rescue. Oh God, the rescue.
Too real.
He stopped himself there, face covered with one hand. After all that he certainly wasn't cheery anymore but he wasn't quite at the same level of upset or panic as he might have needed. All the same, Cruz was determined to work with what was available.
One of the many games lining the shelves that Cruz knew Anita didn't like (and thus, must have been very bad in the croc's mind) was plucked by his slender fingers and cradled to his chest like a small treasure. The customers checking out were off limits now but that still left everyone else in the whole store.
”S'cuse me,” Cruz said, directed at whoever would listen.
Several people glanced his way but only one responded. ”You can't cut in line just because you're doing puppy dog eyes.”
That wasn't quite the response he was expecting.
Cruz shook his head. ”Ah, no, um--” his voice wavered as he presented the game, ”--you should buy this.”
”Why?” they squinted, though unlike the previous customer they looked halfway amused.
Unfortunately, that also wasn't the response he was expecting.
”Because... I said so?”
The customer scoffed and turned away, paying the crocodile raevan no further mind. Cruz rubbed his eyes and tried to regain his previous bearing. Even if he did need to be upset to do this, there could be a way to eliminate other possibilities first; making himself feel crappy wasn't going to get the same result as it happening naturally and it certainly wasn't going to keep him motivated for this test.
Still clutching the game, Cruz took a few moments to compose himself by playing Pokemon Shuffle on one of the test systems. With his mind refreshed by cuteness and puzzles, it was time to try a different tactic.
He was more discerning this time, as he peeked for someone to approach. It took some wandering but eventually he found a woman standing with her daughter's in front of one of the shelves. She looked a bit grumpy, staring up at all of the titles, while her mother seemed perplexed.
”Need help?”
The woman startled slightly, then clutched at her necklace and laughed. ”Oh, hello. We're just browsing.”
”Nuh-uh,” her daughter piped in, which made the woman grimace. ”I'm almost thirteen anyway, it's not a big deal.”
”Almost. Most of these look way too violent, or--” she hesitated to find the right word, ”--weird.”
Cruz turned the game case he was holding over in his hand. It was a T rated game, cited for “comic mischief”, “crude humor”, “language”, and “cartoon violence”. The daughter was continuing to protest, citing she was mature enough to handle it and that they wouldn't allow anything she didn't see on TV already. That much, Cruz supposed, was true, but her mom wasn't budging; she went so far as to grab one of the least enticing games possible, judging by the daughter's expression.
While they squabbled, Cruz placed a hand on the woman's shoulder to get her attention and held out the game he had been carrying to her. Their faces could not have been more polar opposite in response.
”Get this one,” he said, which made the daughter smile despite clearly not being hopeful.
Her mother took it from Cruz's hand to get a closer look. ”Okay.”
At the same time, her daughter's jaw dropped and Cruz's brows rose. ”Yes?”
”Yeah, thank you for the recommendation.”
Cruz let his hand slip from the woman's shoulder as they both moved towards the check-out line. He caught the daughter grinning back at him in disbelief, which he returned with a surprised smile of his own that he soon directed down to his hand.
Was that all it took? Could it really be that simple?
He flexed his fingers. They didn't feel different. Though, as he considered it, Cruz decided his core felt a little strange, like his rune was faintly tingling. Almost as soon as he noticed it, the feeling dissipated and he wondered if he had imagined it.
With something new to test, Cruz weaved between customers and reached the counter to tell Anita that he was going to get them both bottles of water. In the wake of so many customers, she seemed to have forgotten about the previous transgression – or, at least, put it out of mind – and thanked him between her usual sales pitch of their membership card.
Endless throngs of people moving through the halls ushered Cruz along like a water current, which made scouting for new subjects a bit difficult. The food court was no better when he arrived but the blessing was that most people were stationary, too busy eating to bother cutting through traffic to get to their destination. Cruz fidgeted, rubbing his arms in an anxious rhythm. People coming, people going, people ordering, people eating, people getting up--
One such group, a small gaggle of teens, pushed their chairs out and left their trash covered trays on the table. Determined and foolhardy, Cruz rushed over and grabbed one of the boys arms.
”Get off, a*****e!”
Despite the teen's struggle for freedom, Cruz held fast. They locked eyes and Cruz pointed back to their messy table. ”Clean it up.”
This time Cruz saw the change; like Iorek's sudden shift, the boy's irritation left and his friends looked on in confusion as he returned to the table, pushed in the chairs, threw out their trash, and stacked the trays neatly atop the can. Cruz left as fast as he could so their anger at him butting in wouldn't resume.
Again, he stared at his hands.
That was the answer: he was clutched so tightly to Tango, clinging desperately to Iorek while pleading with him. It wasn't the emotion of the act, but the contact – the connection that allowed him to change others and, each time, it had been for the better. He and Tango didn't get lost or swept up by waves, Iorek was happy and they were friends again, that girl got a game (even if it wasn't a very good one), and a mess was cleaned.
With this, he could help people get past difficult times, make difficult choices that could make their lives better but they might be too scared or upset to do. Cruz now had the means to make people's lives better, no questions asked.
There, in the middle of the mall, he held himself and let out a shaky laugh.
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:52 pm
Don't Call Me ”Again?” Anita cringed at her phone as it vibrated. Cruz looked at her while unbuckling his seat belt.
They were in the parking lot of a convenience store to make a quick stop for some things the mall didn't carry. The red Oldsmobile idled tiredly. Anita hadn't even had time to lock the parking break before her phone started ringing.
”Who is it?” Cruz asked as he slipped out of the passenger door.
”I don't know, they keep calling.” Anita noticed the frei's quizzical look once she closed her own door. ”They haven't left any messages so it's probably a telemarketer.”
For the past few days, Anita's phone had been ringing a lot more than usual. He noticed when she was at home, sometimes while she was in the shower or otherwise occupied, sometimes as she was getting ready for work. The first time, Cruz recalled, they had been lounging with Tango on the couch. Anita picked up the phone, looked at the screen, calmly said ”I don't know you,” then set it down and continued watching the movie while ignoring its last few rings.
”What if you do?” he asked. There was, after all, that mystery caller whom Cruz redirected but Anita's response shut the croc down.
”Then they can leave a message.”
If he had only gotten the person's name this might have gone a lot smoother, Cruz realized much too late. He sat on the exchange for some time, hesitant to bring it up to Anita after her initial response as well as times past when he shared details that were initially withheld.
While they shopped, he mulled over the idea of confiding that it may very well have been that same caller trying to get in touch with her but the more Cruz thought about it the less that seemed like a good idea. On top of not asking for a name, even in her old phone the number hadn't been in her contacts. They had cleaned out and rearranged some of the names but mostly it was numbers to old phones that had since been replaced.
Even so, Cruz had to wonder why they wouldn't just leave a message for her if they really did want to get in touch. It seemed like less of a fuss than calling her at all odd hours in the hopes of her picking up when she was obviously ignoring it.
It didn't take them long to get what they needed; a half gallon of milk and some other odds and ends, they even had a little green monster keychain with a chompy mouth that had a red LED bulb inside when you opened it, which Cruz was very eager to get. He played with it on their way back to the car, matching the mouth movements and making small rawr sounds. Anita put the bags in the back while he buckled up.
As she sat down, her phone went off again.
”Are you serious?” she griped and pulled it from her pocket. It was the same number as before but Cruz couldn't tell, just from a glance, if it was the same that called him – he could scarcely recall what that number was, either. ”This is starting to piss me off.”
The croc opened his mouth to offer some consolation but, before he could make a peep, Anita put the phone to her ear.
”Hello?”
Cruz watched as his guardian slowly leaned back against her seat. It was difficult to see her expression with the phone and her hair in the way but he saw her fingers tighten against its casing.
”How'd you get this number?” Her voice came out quiet yet firm. Unfortunately for Cruz, her volume was set too low to make out anything but the dullest mumble of a reply.
He sank lower into his seat.
”Well, I don't really want to talk to you,” she started the car – loud enough to be heard over the receiver, ”and I'm driving.”
Cruz felt his pulse in his throat and, even over the hum of the engine, he could hear it in his ears. His claws anxiously wrung the little keychain critter.
”Bye,” he heard her say, then again more forcefully when the caller spoke, ”Bye.”
Anita ended the call and let the phone drop to her lap. She sighed, leaned back in her seat and pushed her bangs back with both hands to stare at the ceiling. They were both silent for several moments while Cruz wracked his brain for something to say.
Thankfully, Anita spoke up first. ”I cannot believe that just happened.”
”Who was it?”
With another sigh, she dropped her hands and moved her phone to sit in one of the cup holders. Anita buckled herself in and started pulling out of the parking space before answering, absently, ”My dad.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2015 9:25 pm
Persuasion Game The whole ride home was quiet and, for Cruz, a little tense.
Anita was intent on watching the road and hadn't said anything after revealing the caller's identity. He noticed, at stop lights, that her eyes glanced to the phone sitting slant in the cup holder but perhaps it was to their good fortune he hadn't called again.
Once they were back at the apartment and their purchases put away, Anita wasted little time seeking Minerva out.
”You'll never guess who ******** called me today,” she started, with more vitriol than Cruz had heard come from her in a good long while.
He didn't need to hear the rest to know how she felt on the matter, so he rounded Tango up and took him for a short walk while Anita blew off some steam. That pretty much sealed the matter for Cruz – she wasn't going to be happy hearing it was most likely his fault so there was no point bringing it up. As Tango plodded along his usual route, the croc deflated and settled on the hound's back.
”Did you ever meet her dad?” Cruz asked. Tango glanced back at him and managed to give the tip of Cruz's nose a small lick.
Inconclusive.
None of this was what he had expected to ripple out from one unexpected phone call. If he had known it would upset Anita like this he never would have given out her new number but he thought – or hoped – it was just someone she had forgotten to notify or, maybe, an old friend from before he was born; anything but this.
Of course, Cruz really had no idea why Anita wanted to avoid her dad so much in the first place. Mention of him was sparse, once from Anita herself when he was very young and they were driving through Durem which he could scarcely recall the details of and the last at Christmas. It hadn't gone well and, at the time, he and Aina thought the holiday had been ruined. For fear of breaking the delicate balance that had been restored shortly thereafter, neither of them pried and, with time, the incident was forgotten.
That all made Cruz wonder, though: what was a dad?
He knew, in a lot of human families, there was a mom and a dad. In cases of Lab, it often seemed that there was a single guardian, not always necessarily a parental figure like in his case – Anita was definitely not his mom but he had come to consider Minerva for that, she was the mom. From there, family titles often got fuzzy for him. Duncan referred to Aina as his granddaughter and Mordekai as his son but Aina didn't call Mordekai dad and she didn't have a mom, as far as he knew. Ethiriel didn't seem to have a mom or a dad, Leo definitely wasn't a parental figure but, then, neither was Henry who seemed like more of a friend or brother. Cesc, too, didn't think of Vivi or Shep as parents from what he could tell.
These thoughts distracted Cruz as he and Tango got back into the apartment, leaving the walk a complete blur. He hung up Tango's leash, almost running on autopilot before a calm voice switched him back to his manual setting.
”Have a good walk?” Anita asked from the kitchen, carton of juice in hand. She didn't seem annoyed at all anymore, giving the raevan a curious smile before pouring her drink.
”Yeah,” he answered and tossed his bag gently on the couch, ”Kinda quiet today.” Except it hadn't been, all of the hustle of people and tourists was just drowned out by confusing thoughts and his guilty conscience. ”Um-- Nita?”
She was already on her way to the couch, juice in hand. Anita didn't stop her motions of turning on the TV and getting situated but she locked eyes with the croc. ”What's up?”
Cruz grimaced, hands together and fingers clenched. ”Why don't you want to talk to your dad? Is he mean?” Vaguely, he recalled Aina asking something similar at Christmas.
Anita muted the television. ”No,” she sighed, ”no, he's not mean. We just-- don't really get along.”
”How come?”
She gave him a halfhearted glance, then set her cup on the table. ”You know, sometimes, even if you want to be friends with somebody it doesn't always work.” Cruz immediately felt crestfallen; that certainly wasn't any kind of life philosophy he wanted to hear, and he certainly hadn't expected it from Anita. She seemed to catch on. ”Maybe that's not the best way to put it... I mean, we tried. For a long time, we tried. Years.”
Cruz hovered closer and settled on the arm of the couch opposite Anita. ”What happened?”
Anita looked him over quietly, his bright green eyes locked on her intently. When Cruz didn't budge or look away for several moments, Anita retrieved her glass and took to staring into it instead of at him. With some hesitance, and a quick sip of juice, she confided.
”First, it seemed like he didn't really want anything to do with me. He wasn't even in my life until I was like thirteen. At that point it was kind of too late for him to start trying to be a dad but I wanted to know him and he wanted to know me. I started visiting him on the weekends sometimes, 'cause he was all the way out in wherever, Aekea.” Anita gestured vaguely for emphasis. ”It was okay at first, just kind of awkward. We didn't really know each other so we didn't know what to talk about. He mostly asked me about school and how mom was doing, I asked him about work. We didn't really have any common interests.”
”But friends don't just have to be from liking the same things,” Cruz interjected, pouting.
”Right, but it does make things a little easier. In my case, it just started feeling forced after a while. I was still pretty shy around then so he had a hard time getting me to talk about much and I had a hard time speaking up so he could talk. When I was visiting we mostly did things that didn't require talking, like shopping or watching movies. It was barely interacting, really, it just felt really superficial to me.” Anita bowed her head to look at her cup again, voice softening. ”I think he caught on to that. Maybe it was just 'cause he didn't know what else to do but then he started getting into dad mode. Trying to check up on my schoolwork, make sure I wasn't doing any dumb teen stuff, asking when I was gonna get a job,” her gaze flicked to the entertainment center, ”when I was going to stop playing games and do something worthwhile.”
Cruz leaned back; he couldn't imagine an Anita without games, not at all, and they even were her job now. He sucked on his lower lip, brows furrowed, when Anita looked at him with a faint and lopsided smile.
”Doesn't feel so great when someone you care about tells you your main interest is a waste of time.”
”No...” Cruz agreed, and hoped none of his friends were put down like that.
With another sip and another sigh, Anita looked back at the silent TV screen. She pulled her legs up and hugged them with one arm, the other balancing the glass on her knee. ”Anyway... I didn't like that so much, visited and talked to him less, rinse and repeat. Didn't think about it much then but, now, I think he was desperate – maybe. When I got out of high school we were barely talking but then he came at me with this great offer. Suddenly not treating me like a kid, he wanted to help me get out on my own and be more independent. He works with the housing commission, or... he did, no idea if he still does. He found a place out in Durem that he could plop me into for lower than average rent until I got settled.”
The croc's eyes lit with recognition and he raised his head. ”That was when you lived in Durem?”
”Mhm,” Anita nodded, ”Tango was still just a pup but he grew fast so the extra space was a huge bonus. We lived there for like two years, keep in mind -- long enough for me to be comfortable in my job and living space, and like, freakin' out of nowhere--” she snapped her fingers, ”--oh, sorry Anita, you need to be out of there by next week, somebody bought the place. Like it was no big deal. He didn't even tell me it was still on the market.”
”Oh--” it slipped out without meaning to but Cruz wasn't sure what else to say. His wings folded against his back as his shoulders slumped. ”That's not nice...”
”Nope.”
”Did you talk to him after that?”
Anita held the glass close to her lips. ”Only to say I didn't want to anymore. He called a lot for about a week after but eventually he left me alone, like I wanted.” She shook her head, ”I have absolutely no idea why he's starting up again now.”
Neither did Cruz – but he could guess. ”Maybe he wants to say sorry.” She scoffed into her cup. ”Or make sure you're okay?”
”Well, he knows I'm not dead so he has no reason to call back now.” At this, Anita straightened her legs out and retrieved her phone from her back pocket. She held it out to show Cruz the screen – another missed call, from when he was out with Tango. ”But guess who did anyway.”
It was unusual to hear so much sarcasm from Anita, especially directed at a single person. Most of the time, if there were any derisive comments from her at all, it was directed at games in the heat of the moment. Without the explanation prior, it might have seemed to the croc that Anita was frustrated with the man for simply existing.
”What if he really is sorry?” he asked after an uncertain pause.
That seemed to at least break Anita from her chiding; she regarded him with an expression that looked very foreign on her and was made even harder to read thanks to her hair. ”It's been years,” she hung her head on the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling, voice heavy, ”I don't really know if--”
Both of them gave a small start as the familiar ringtone started up.
”God dammit,” Anita muttered with one look at the screen.
”Nita,” Cruz leaned over to rest a hand on her shoulder, ”Maybe just... see what he wants?”
He pulled his hand back as soon as Anita looked at him; conflict danced in the shine of her eyes and her cheeks were rosy with indecision. The phone was on its last ring when she finally picked up.
”Yes?” Her tone was much softer than the last call but none the less weary. Cruz leaned to the side slightly to try and see her face better but each time he adjusted she did the same, hiding with her hair. ”What do you want, dad?”
Cruz had to strain to hear anything from the other line without leaning so close it would likely upset Anita. Without the din of the car or the TV to drown it out, he managed to catch a couple bits and pieces.
”...still calling... that?”
”Yeah, so what? Why do you keep calling me?”
”...just... talk...miss you...”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. ”There's nothing to talk about.”
”... I'm sorry... Anita... please... one talk? ...just lunch... please?”
”I don't--” her voice wavered and Cruz was quick to bring his hand back to her shoulder. Anita drew in a weak breath; she chewed at the tip of her thumbnail while, faintly, her father asked if she was still there. ”I don't know...”
Cruz felt helpless beside her. Had he ever really seen Anita cry before? He couldn't remember but he didn't like her sounding even close to it. ”Nita?” Cruz whispered, rubbing her arm in an attempt to be reassuring. She didn't look at him, not full on, but the sidelong glance was enough; her lips trembled and her eyes threatened to overflow.
If she didn't know how to answer, if that was what was causing her grief, then Cruz knew what to do.
”It's okay.” It came out softer than a whisper, barely a thread of suggestion, but it was enough. He felt her breath leave, then return – still shaky but renewed. Anita swallowed and returned her attention to the phone.
”Um,” Cruz heard her dad stop whatever he was saying, ”Okay... We can have lunch.”
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 3:55 pm
Not Alone The next few minutes were a haze of confusion for Cruz; nothing was moving too fast for him to keep track of but it all felt very disorienting. He thought, with his assurance, Anita would have calmed and be glad with the decision he helped her reach. Instead, once she got off the phone Anita got off the sofa and began to pace. Minerva came out as soon as she heard Anita's voice crack on the phone but she didn't intrude on the call itself beyond a concerned look.
He drifted in a sort of limbo as his humans moved and spoke around him, watching their gestures and body language with acute awareness. Anita's posture was slack, Minerva's was open; Anita rubbed her own arms while her mom rubbed her shoulder; they hugged.
”I don't know why I said I'd go.”
Had he made a mistake? She was uncertain, absolutely, but it seemed to Cruz that wouldn't have been so if some part of her wanted to see her father again. Otherwise, Anita could have stuck to her guns and hung up.
”Do you want tell him you changed your mind?” Minerva asked, already reaching for Anita's phone. Her arm went slack as Anita held it closer; she shook her head.
”I don't know... No.” Cruz reclined slowly against the couch. ”I'll do it, I just--” Anita pushed her bangs back and walked to the dining table, ”--I'll see if Mordekai's free. Maybe he can come with.”
Minerva followed, sitting opposite Anita across the table. ”That would be better. If you want to bail at any point, he'll help.” With a moment of hesitance, she continued, ”Are you sure you don't want me to--”
”You don't want to talk to him,” Anita cut her mom off at the pass, thumbs working against the keypad, ”I'll be okay as long as it's not just me there.”
Cruz straightened his shoulders. ”Nita,” she looked over and he offered her a worried smile, ”I can go, too. If it's better.” -- or if, for any reason, Mordekai couldn't make it.
With his suggestion, it seemed Anita's gears were turning. He watched her gaze fall to the floor, drift to her phone, and then settle back on him with a smile, equally unsure but drawn in relief. ”That'd be nice. Thanks, Cruz.”
He breathed easier, then. If this had been a mistake, somehow, then at least he could provide support for her in the wake of it – support she agreed to all on her own.
”Okay,” Minerva kept her tone tentative as she crossed her arms against the table top, ”but I don't mind running over there to shove my foot up his a** if he's upsetting you. Just give me a shout.”
Anita let slip a wry grin while her eyes were glued to her phone. ”I think I'll be okay,” after a few seconds, she glanced up – Minerva stared with one raised brow, ”but I'll keep that in mind.”
They both smiled and Cruz did as well. Emotions may have run high but it really seemed like Anita wanted to do this now that she knew it wouldn't be a solo affair. The croc had to admit, he was curious about this man, this absent father, but he hoped time would change things between them.
After all, time allowed Anastacia to accept his apology.
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Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2015 11:38 pm
Awkward Disposition With the day of the lunch confirmed, Cruz found himself more eager than anxious about the affair. Meeting someone new was always exciting, and this was someone of relative importance to his family's life despite his several year absence. Curiosity prodded him towards asking more questions but, given Anita's nervousness and Minerva's defensive posturing Cruz did his best to keep from being too invasive.
He restricted himself to simple questions that, unfortunately for the croc, were difficult for either woman to answer given how long it had been since they last associated with Anita's father. Even asking what he looked like was a bust, as his appearance could have changed drastically in the years following and it seemed they had both been hasty of ridding themselves of photographic reminders or scarcely had any in the first place. The one thing Minerva did tell Cruz was that Tristan and Anita had the same eyes, which Cruz took a bit too literally in his excitement and set about staring at her in effort to picture her eyes with a man's face – perhaps something more like Mordekai or Shepard.
Following her initial trepidation, Anita seemed to be much calmer about the situation with Cruz and Minerva's support. Even better, Mordekai confirmed he would come and Cruz noticed the strength return to Anita's smile when she told him.
The week moved much too slowly for Cruz's liking; even by Thursday, the weekend seemed dreadfully far. Mordekai arrived Friday night as promised, after working the farmer's market in Durem thanks to catching a ride with a coworker. He even brought a gift for the meeting, fresh fruits and veggies from the market to help smooth things over.
The two had a quiet evening walking Tango, sitting out on the balcony, and then retreated to bed for an early night. All things considered, she appeared to be her usual self. Though Cruz was absolutely buzzing with anticipation for the morning to come, he let Anita and Mordekai have their time at Minerva's request. Instead, the two of them spent the evening catching up on one of the shows she liked to watch when he painted her nails. And paint he did, a nice solid teal with some yellow dots like stars and a small crescent moon on her big toes.
It was only in the morning that things became a little off kilter.
Cruz woke bright eyed and bushy tailed as usual in the warmth of summer to an already awake Anita and Mordekai. She was on the couch looking frazzled at the TV screen with some rather intense bed head while Mordekai was in the kitchen making some scrambled eggs. Anita was never very quick to wake until she ate, and so she greeted Cruz with a small wave and moved sluggishly to the dining table when the eggs were ready.
About halfway through her bowl a text message came through from her father saying he was going to start on his drive. It would take a few good hours before he arrived, coming from Aekea all the way to Gambino, but as soon as she confirmed Anita lowered her fork and ran a hand through her hair.
”He's really doing this,” she said with all the unease of someone taking their first high dive. Cruz decided to leave reassurances to Mordekai, since Anita was much more receptive to his comforts.
While they all were getting ready that morning, Anita seemed to become progressively anxious; she was more quiet than usual, running her hands over her face occasionally and taking deep breaths; she paced around the apartment to make sure she had everything she needed, even mumbling under her breath about certain objects. Her shower, on the other hand, was abnormally fast and she braided her hair in a frenzy – it was a wonder she managed to keep them so tidy in the aftermath. Even getting dressed suddenly became more of an issue than Cruz had ever known it to be for her. Anita waffled several times between looking nice or dressing casually. It took around twenty minutes for her to finally settle (announcing more to herself than either of them) that she wasn't going to worry about it and just dress to be comfortable in the July heat.
By the time she was ready, Anita realized they still had roughly an hour before they had to be at their destination and that became a worrying point for her as well. She sat on the couch with Mordekai, attempting to relax by playing her DS and introducing him to a variety of things, but from his perch at the end chair of the dining table Cruz could see her leg bouncing fervently.
When it was finally time, there was a bit of awkward scrambling. They nearly forgot Mordekai's bountiful gift and needed to run back into the apartment all the way from the parking lot to retrieve it, then needed to stop for gas almost as soon as they left the premises because Anita forgot to refill it the day before.
Beyond that it was a smooth ride, albeit a quiet one. Cruz was nestled in the back seat behind Anita, Mordekai up front beside her while she drove. At a few stop lights, he noted with a smile, the two of them would hold each others hands. It made him feel assured that Anita was in good hands, despite her misgivings over this particular lunch.
The ruddy Oldsmobile pulled into the parking lot of the Sand Dollar and rolled slowly until Anita found a space that faced the building. Even after they were situated, Anita made no moves to turn the car off; she stared ahead like a hawk, both hands on the wheel.
”We are way too early,” she said flatly. According to the clock, they were actually right on time. ”He's gonna take forever.”
Cruz leaned toward her. ”Should we go back?”
Anita allowed her grip on the wheel to slack as she leaned back in her seat, finally letting her hands drop into her lap. Without taking her eyes off the front doors, she shook her head.
”Scopin' the place out for pops?” Mordekai asked with a small pout, hands in his pockets and plastic bag of market fare on the floor by his feet.
”Yeah...” The air conditioning somehow seemed to blow louder in the gaps between their voices. With a deep breath, Anita dragged both hands down her face and leaned further back. ”Ugh, I'm being stupid. Let's just go get a seat and have some drinks.”
Though his brows knit with concern, Cruz offered Anita an encouraging smile and gave her a light pat on the shoulder. ”We'll see him easier outside.”
She nodded and reached for the key.
”He's a no-show kinna guy...?” Mordekai made to leave the car as soon as Anita cut the engine, though he leaned forward to peek back inside, ”Should we bring all that produce in?”
”I think we'll be outside, so it's up to you. I'm just gonna call him real quick, 'cause--” she scoffed as she thumbed through her contacts, ”--he's definitely a late kind of guy.”
”Oh! Oke.” Mordekai smiled to her as Cruz got out of the car as well.
”What does he drive?”
”No idea. Hi--” Anita turned away slightly to speak, ”Yeah, I'm here. How far out are you?” she deflated somewhat when she got an answer, ”Oh... Okay. See you in a bit, then. We'll be out front.”
She hung up and stared quietly at her phone. Cruz glanced to Mordekai, who was preoccupied looking around the restaurant's vicinity until Anita spoke up again. ”He's... a lot closer than I thought.” Anita grimaced and turned to them, ”Am I being mean?”
Mordekai smiled in consolation and shook his head, “Nah, you ain't bein' mean... You nervous?”
She nodded then forced a small smile. ”Is it obvious?”
”S'okay, Nita,” Cruz rumbled softly as he floated up. He placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, ”Maybe he is, too?”
”Maybe...”
They walked to the front of the car, Mordekai meeting them both at the pass. He took a moment to hold her back and smile in encouragement before leading the way forward. ”Cruz an' I'll be there for ya.”
Anita's smile still wasn't at full strength but it made it easier for Cruz to smile, as well, knowing she was feeling more comfortable with his and Mordekai's combined efforts.
The three of them took up one of the outdoor tables for a few reasons; the inside was already packed with summertime tourists looking to get out of the sun, most importantly, but Anita figured this would make them easier to spot and planned for this in the first place. It was also nice for Cruz and Mordekai, letting them bask in the island heat without being too overwhelmed thanks to the shady umbrella their table came with.
For the most part, their wait was quiet. All of them only got waters to start with and, while Mordekai and Anita held hands, Cruz busied himself with his DS. Every time a car door closed, Anita would tense and crane her neck to see who it was and each time she seemed more disappointed than the last. Cruz stopped checking with her, eventually, and immersed himself in his game with the hope of time moving faster. He barely noticed when, fifteen minutes later, Anita pulled her and Mordekai's hands under the table and out of view.
”Wow, he barely looks different.”
At that, Cruz snapped his handheld shut without bothering to turn it off. He turned his head quickly to try and spot the man, even floating up just a touch above the table's edge.
Cruz never developed a clear hypothetical image of Anita's father in his mind but the man walking towards them was simultaneously not what he expected and a perfect match. He matched Anita's long limbs and brown hair, though his was peppered at the front, and dressed just as casually as the rest of them in jeans and a simple gray shirt with the sleeves rolled up. The man wasn't as fair skinned as Anita or Minerva but certainly not as well tanned as himself or Mordekai, though he did sport some equally peppered hair along his jawline and a five o'clock shadow.
He gave a small wave, which caused her father to slow in his stride but, once he was a few paces closer, the man lifted a hand in return.
”You got this? Doin' okay?” Mordekai asked Anita after offering a wave as well.
Anita nodded and drew a slow breath, ”I got it,” then finally waved as well. Anita's voice raised a little, just enough to carry, but the croc could hear a faint tremble, ”Hey, dad.”
Her dad dipped his head to her and stopped in front of their table; he leaned down a little to peek under the shade of the umbrella. Once Cruz's eyes adjusted to the difference in light on the man's face he decided Minerva was mistaken – this man's eyes were too tired, not at all the same as Anita's.
”Hi,” his voice was worn, like it had been left out in the rain. He glanced briefly between Cruz and Mordekai, somehow managing to avoid eye contact with either of them, ”Uh-- who are your friends?”
”Oh,” Anita shifted in her seat, ”This is Mordekai and this is Cruz,” she gestured, ”I told you I was bringing company, right?”
The man nodded as he settled into his seat, across from Anita. ”You did. Guess I just expected... your mother.” He scoffed under his breath. ”Bet she's working hard. Well, uh, s'nice to meet you two.”
With a soft laugh, Mordekai reached forward to accept a handshake, ”Nice meetin' you, Tristan. Guess you gotta deal with us instead.”
Anita and Minerva so scarcely spoke of him by name, Cruz had practically forgotten it. Tristan even looked a little surprised Mordekai knew it, his eyebrows raising just a tad, but he gave Mordekai a half smile. ”Not a problem,” he assured, then turned to offer a shake to Cruz as well.
”Good to meet you, Nita Dad.” Cruz smiled, returning the shake with much more eagerness in his arm than Tristan seemed to carry with him today.
”Uh, yeah.” He rested both arms against the table and directed his attention back to Anita. ”So, you've known each other for a while?”
One of her brows perked. ”A few years, yeah.”
”Y'never met Cruz before, at least?” Mordekai asked with a slight grin.
Cruz looked at him curiously and shook his head but Anita spoke up quickly to correct the confusion. ”Cruz came a bit after,” she wore a small grimace, though tried to force it into a smile, ”Anyway, we saved you a menu there, so...”
As she mentioned it, Tristan slid the menu closer to himself across the table. He looked over it for only a few seconds before glancing at the front doors of the building. ”Thanks. Are we not eating inside?”
”Do you still smoke?” He nodded. ”Then no. Most places in Gambino don't like it indoors.”
”Ah, right.” Tristan returned his eyes to the menu and rubbed the back of his neck. ”You guys haven't ordered yet?” Another glance up – she shook her head – and back down again. ”Do you know what you're getting?”
”Nah-- but-- alla their burgers are real good?”
Tristan almost looked surprised that Mordekai responded instead of Anita but, after a moment's glance, he returned to browsing. ”Maybe I'll get one of those, then...”
The frei pulled his glass of water closer to himself, both hands around it to absorb the cool condensation. He kept his lips loosely around the tip of his straw, sipping occasionally though sometimes blowing a small bubble or two. Cruz's eyes drifted between the three humans as their conversation already lulled. Her father seemed to catch onto this and cleared his throat.
”So, uh-- what have you been up to?” Tristan lowered the menu back onto the table and looked at Anita; his brows furrowed. ”Your hair got so long.”
Mordekai let out a soft chuckle. Anita shrugged. ”Only gotten little trims in the last four years. But, uh, you know-- working. Spending time with friends.”
Tristan nodded slowly, his eyes flicking hesitantly away from Mordekai before settling on him fully. ”And you're, um-- a family friend?”
”Huh?” Mordekai turned from smiling at Anita. ”Ah, yeah--”
There was a short moment of quiet that made Cruz's pulse quicken. He hovered a tad higher, ready to expand on Mordekai's response, but the blond chose to continue before he had a chance.
”Would hope so, since I'm-- datin'-- Anita.”
Cruz settled back down, and then a bit further. His eyes trained on Tristan, excited and hesitant to see his reaction all at once. Most people took knowledge of Anita and Mordekai together quite well but some, for reasons he still couldn't understand, weren't very keen on the revelation.
At first, Tristan's eyes just opened a bit wider. Once things began to process, he stopped looking at any of them and instead stared very intently at the table while he began to fish through his pockets.
”Really? That's, uh--” he retrieved a cigarette, ”Huh.”
Anita's expression and voice flattened. ”What?”
Tristan shook his head. ”Nothing. Just--” he paused to light up, ”--unexpected.”
Before anyone else could speak, Cruz interjected: ”They're good together.” He shrank down in his seat immediately after, when Anita and Tristan both snapped their gazes toward him at the same time. Cruz glanced elsewhere, returning his lips to the straw and softly tapping the table with his palms in a slow, unclear rhythm.
Mordekai's laughter diffused the situation some; he leaned over to ruffle Cruz's hair, which the croc leaned into gratefully. ”Got the same from a'lotta folks. But, s'no worries, huh?” Cruz nodded.
The mistletoe raevan saw Anita relax when the Sand Dollar's doors opened and their server stepped out. She greeted their new guest, who seemed intent not looking at anyone – save for her, for the moment. Anita and Mordekai's orders were taken rather swiftly thanks to all the time they had to figure things out before Tristan's arrival; she got a hot dog and a Shirley Temple while Mordekai went with a beer and a small plate of surf 'n turf tacos. Cruz, as usual, only requested more water but requested a slice of lime with his next glass. Tristan took just a tad longer to figure his order out but, in the end, went with a burger as Mordekai recommended.
Of course, that only took up a few short minutes. When the server left, the atmosphere of their table settled back into a quiet limbo that was only interrupted by the arrival of their drinks.
Despite not seeming at all eager to continue conversation, Tristan would occasionally pipe up and direct very simple questions towards Anita. Things like how her mother was doing, where she was working now, if she still had the dog. Anita kept her answers succinct, which didn't leave any of them with much to go from. Mordekai made attempts to keep their talks going as well but Tristan's responses were just as underwhelming as Anita's and did little to sustain discussion.
Cruz could scarcely think of anything to add in between, especially after the reception of his last comment. Still, Mordekai went through the process of trying to get to know Tristan and the croc hung on to every bit of information about the man as he could. Tristan mentioned he used to work at the Gaia Housing Commission but had changed jobs a few years back and was now working at an auto-parts dealer in Aekea. Anything more personal than that was barely touched on; Tristan seemed fairly disengaged from conversation as a whole but, rather than get to know Mordekai or Cruz, he concentrated on Anita.
Their server returned with all of their orders just as Cruz's glass was bubbling violently from a long drawn-out sigh. Once they were able to distract themselves with food, the humans seemed intent to drop all conversation attempts entirely, which left the frei stagnant.
He glanced to the DS, its light still on, tapped his fingers idly on the table, and sipped up the rest of the water from beneath the remaining ice. After only a few short minutes, Cruz turned to Tristan.
”How long are you visiting?”
That seemed to catch the man off guard. He took a moment to finish chewing before answering. ”Just for lunch, today...”
”Gambino's real far from Aekea,” Mordekai said after a small sip of beer, ”you gonna check the rest of the place out?”
Tristan lowered his burger and scratched at the stubble on his cheek with his free hand. ”Maybe another time.” He glanced to Anita and cleared his throat, ”Actually, is it okay if we--” with a thumb, he pointed away from the table, ”--talk for a minute?”
Cruz noticed the small frown on Mordekai's face at the question. Anita hesitated, eyes on the table.
”Yeah... Okay.” She gave Cruz and Mordekai each a small smile before standing, ”We'll be quick. You can keep eating.”
While Tristan set his food down and did the same, Cruz eyed both of them. ”We'll be here,” Mordekai nodded.
The two of them walked out towards the cars, stopping not out of sight but certainly out of earshot.
Cruz rumbled uncertainly. ”He's quiet.”
Taking his eyes off Anita and Tristan to look back at Cruz, Mordekai laughed sheepishly; he leaned forward against the table, hands cupping his pint. ”Real quiet.” He glanced back to the parking lot, ”But I guess he's getting' out what he came all the way here for now, huh...”
”Yeah...” Cruz turned in his seat to watch them, too.
They were standing at the edge of the curb, Tristan with his hands in his pockets and Anita with her arms crossed. She didn't look mad but it was difficult to tell much of anything at this distance.
He tapped his nails against the table. ”Asked Nita about him when he called and she said he wasn't really bad. Kinda sounded like she missed him...” At least, that was how it appeared to him from the crack in her voice, the tears in her eyes. Cruz touched a hand to his own cheek and pouted. ”But she's all nervous.”
Mordekai let his head rest against his knuckles. ”Some people are gonna have you wonderin' a lotta questions about 'em... an' you're gonna miss those kinna folks a lot, don't matter if they're good or bad.” Cruz's gaze fell to the table, just for a moment. ”Ever get nervous waitin' for answers?”
He nodded, eyes widening a little with understanding. That was a common feeling for the croc, especially these past few months. ”She's waiting for an answer?”
”Maybe she's waitin' for a few.” Mordekai shrugged, then shook his head. ”Never asked her – but maybe it's somethin' she'll talk to us about if she wants to, huh?”
Cruz chewed at the corner of his lip and nodded slowly. If she wants to. He glanced back to Anita and Tristan, suddenly feeling less sure of himself. They both looked tired, their postures slouched more since he last checked. He saw Anita nod and they both lowered their heads, looking at their shoes. She turned and gestured back toward the table but Tristan didn't follow as Anita started walking back over – he lit another cigarette instead.
Anita waved on her way back and Cruz perked up in his seat. ”Hey,” she stopped to stand between the two of them and Mordekai set his beer down, ”Sorry this has been so weird...”
”Is he coming back?”
She glanced over her shoulder and nodded, ”Yeah, he's just smoking first and then he'd like to finish eating with us.”
Mordekai leaned back in his chair and looked up at Anita. ”Everything's okay?”
Anita rubbed Mordekai's upper back and nodded, despite still still looking a bit uncertain – she smiled anyway. ”Yeah, I guess he's just... kind of overwhelmed. He's never been the best conversationalist...” Anita glanced back again and this time Cruz followed; Tristan's new cigarette was almost half gone already. ”I'm actually kind of surprised he came all this way just for this. I would have thought the drive would be too much trouble...”
There was something in her voice then that, in spite of all the hesitance and nervousness still entwined, sounded relieved. It made Cruz smile. He reached up and put a hand to Anita's arm.
”He wanted to see you.”
She bowed her head, eyes on the floor, but Anita's bangs weren't long enough to hide the small smile she wore.
”Mais, he musta,” Mordekai smiled a bit wider and reached over to rub Anita's lower back.
”I guess so,” Anita said softly, almost sounding mystified.
Cruz's smile broadened and he moved his hands back to the table as Mordekai offered Anita some of his tacos. She settled back into her seat with a quiet laugh and, as she leaned over to take just one Mordekai offered the entire plate to her instead.
With a curious glance to Tristan, Cruz was distracted from the rest of their exchange. They locked eyes for just a second, which Tristan quickly broke by looking down at the asphalt and stepping out what was left of his cigarette.
”He's back,” Cruz announced prematurely, which gave Anita and Mordekai a second to right themselves before Tristan returned to his seat.
Eye contact from the man still seemed difficult but, as he sat, he greeted them a little more amiably than when he first arrived. Anita took it with a small smile that, to Cruz, seemed hopeful. She and her dad both resumed eating while Mordekai and Cruz tended to their respective drinks. Conversation was still shallow at best but, as their lunchtime together began winding down, it felt less painful to go through the motions.
When their bill came, it was Tristan who got to it first. This earned him an indignant glance from Anita, which turned to mild protest when her father offered to pay for the majority of their meal. With a little bit of negotiation, Anita relented and gave her thanks. They lingered only until the bill was paid and the server took away their empty plates.
Cruz eyed Anita and her dad as they stood, expecting some sort of parting affection – a hug, a kiss on the cheek, even a hand shake – but there was nothing; only some hesitance from the both of them to completely part ways.
”It was, um, nice meeting you two,” Tristan said, finally giving both he and Mordekai solid eye contact, ”Hopefully I'll get to see more of Gambino soon.”
”Yeah,” Anita returned a bit absently, her attention elsewhere in the parking lot.
Tristan nodded and cleared his throat, opening his car door. Before closing it he paused, glanced to the three of them, then down at the road. ”Take good care of Anita, okay?” That drew her attention back, which prompted Tristan to shut the door before any of them could give him a response.
”Okay,” Cruz said, regardless.
If nothing else came of this, at least his curiosity had been sated some and Anita would have a chance to resolve some of her feelings. In that, Cruz felt renewed; this hadn't been a mistake at all.
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Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2015 7:33 pm
A Penny For Your Thoughts While the lunch itself may have forced them all to endure stilted conversation and more awkward pauses than Cruz could count, once it was all said and done the atmosphere between the three of them cleared. He watched Anita relax, become light again, and gave both he and Mordekai a smile and a shrug before returning to her car.
Laughter was what carried them back to the apartments, as they realized all too late the gift of produce Mordekai brought for Tristan had been neglected and was still in the car. Since he was going to be there for the whole weekend, it was decided the fruits and vegetables would be cooked that night so they wouldn't go to waste. Though the croc couldn't partake, he enjoyed the variety of scents as well as the pleasant conversation that drifted between the three humans.
It was almost like the lunch hadn't even happened, with how quickly things returned to a normal state. Before he knew it, the weekend was over and visitation was done; back to work for Anita and Minerva while he and Tango had the apartment to themselves.
That left time for Cruz to ruminate on things.
Things like how Anita was really feeling about all of this now, how her dad was feeling. Once they were able to speak alone they both seemed to ease up a little and the curiosity over what might have been said would gnaw at Cruz in every quiet moment since.
Under normal circumstances, the croc would have had no issue with asking outright; the desire to do so was nearly palpable every time she seemed unoccupied and in good spirits. The difference now was something Mordekai said during the lunch, something that nagged at him like a hangnail – sticking out just enough that it would easily catch and pull when you were least expecting it to make sure you wouldn't forget.
”Maybe it's somethin' she'll talk to us about if she wants to.”
Chances were, she didn't want to.
Not knowing plagued him. Wondering, speculating, they all sent his mind in circles. Signs at least pointed to something positive, given how the rest of the lunch went, and that theory kept Cruz's heart from feeling tight in his chest, from beating too hard and too fast as he pondered a thousand possibilities.
Even as Anita came home from work, phone to her ear, Cruz wondered. He drew his attention away from his game, a game that had been idling for nearly twenty minutes before Anita even unlocked the door, to watch her kick her shoes off and set her bag down. Tango was the first to greet her, living up to his name with how quickly his tail was wagging. She locked eyes with Cruz while talking and smiled, which he returned after a moment of processing.
Cruz wasn't tuning her out so much as his thoughts were louder than her conversation.
”Okay. Talk to you later, dad.”
At least, until that.
His thoughts all but ceased; his eyes honed in on Anita's every move, each subtle twitch and motion. She carried a small smile, loose posture, and her voice had been casual – not the same stiff speech she had given the other day.
”That was your dad?” Cruz asked, just to make sure he hadn't imagined.
”Mm-hm,” Anita hummed as she stepped into the kitchenette and began sorting through the refrigerator. ”He caught me while I was driving so I called him back when I parked.”
”Oh,” he tried not to sound too surprised, ”How is he?”
Anita shrugged. Her back was to him and it made reading her posture a bit more difficult. ”He's okay. I told him about the food thing. He thought that was funny, too.”
Cruz chuckled, both from the recollection and his growing confusion. Once she found what she was looking for, Anita closed the fridge and took out a plate. While she busied herself with preparing an after work snack, the frei's fingers drummed tensely on the back of the sofa.
If she wants to. A repeating mantra in his mind, keeping the questions at bay. If she wants to. It blocked his curiosity like a dam but with each pound of his heart it threatened to give away.
If she wants to... she doesn't have to answer.
”Nita?” Cruz asked after what felt like minutes. The countdown on the microwave hadn't even gone down more than twenty seconds.
”What's up?” Anita returned to the fridge, absently, and for a moment Cruz was grateful she didn't pay him a glance or else he might have clammed up.
”What did you and your dad talk about?” she turned, then, ”At lunch.”
It was hard to tell if she was in thought or feeling uncomfortable. Cruz bit his lip. She shrugged.
”You know, just... catching up. Stuff.” Anita rubbed the back of her neck as she directed herself back to the fridge's contents, ”It's hard to really talk about things, sometimes, if you're around people you don't know.”
Cruz let his eyes wander from Anita's back to the wood floor. Her hesitance was obvious but, in spite of his own for asking, she continued.
”He just wanted a couple minutes to, um... figure out what we're doing.”
He stared. ”What you're doing?”
”Yeah,” Anita pulled out a pitcher of water, ”We're gonna give it another shot.”
His heart nearly smacked against his rib cage in its excitement. Cruz drifted high up off the couch, still grounded by his hands. When she saw him, Anita gave him a perplexed smile – he didn't realize until then how broad his smile was.
”So things are good?”
She laughed into her glass and took a second to swallow. ”Yeah. Yeah, things are--” another laugh, almost as if she were in disbelief herself, ”--things are good.”
For the first time since he could remember, Cruz lamented his lack of legs; he wanted to do a cartwheel right then. Instead, he pounded excitedly at the back of the sofa, which Tango took to mean he was being called. He bounded up quickly and stood against the couch so he could reach Cruz's face to give him several sloppy kisses. The croc blew several raspberries in response, which drew the living room into a cacophony of giggles and yips.
”Actually, he was calling to tell me,” Anita continued, voice still light with laughter, ”that my uncle's in Barton now so he's a lot closer, since dad's still in Aekea. He thought that might be a nice halfway point for both of us sometimes.” With another sip of water, she scoffed, ”I don't even remember meeting him but dad said I did when I was a baby.”
Cruz's brows furrowed. He settled down onto Tango's back while he traipsed toward the kitchen, his DS forgotten on the couch. ”You saw Keith at Christmas.”
Anita sputtered into her water. ”Not that uncle,” she laughed, ”Dad's brother, Rob. He's out by the lake, it's a nice woodsy area.”
”Oh! Do you think you'll go?”
”I'm not sure. I think dad wants me to meet him but-- we'll see.” Anita shrugged.
Cruz nodded and smiled, to which she returned before realizing she had forgotten the microwave and set about reheating her meal a second time. He buried his face in Tango's neck and ruffled up the fur on his chest with renewed fervor. Anita was smiling and laughing while talking about her dad, she spoke with him about it of her own choice and she seemed happy for it.
Though he had only been the initiating factor in this, it was a good thing he had done. To think, without his gentle push Anita would still be getting upset over his phone calls. On top of it all, she had more family too! Cruz had to admit, though his curiosity had momentarily been sated it was burgeoning anew at what this other uncle might be like.
It was an interesting feeling, knowing that he and Anita were on a level playing field with this one.
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