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 Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 3:13 pm
Ze_Mole   ((I love that one. heart ))    that was awesome!!!how do you post a pix here? I tried copying and pasting, but it didn't work.   And... that's all I have in my photobucket right now. Hope you enjoyed the pictures! ^^
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 5:59 pm
This one is one is cheesy:
This duck walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and asks:
"Got any crackers?" The bartender says no so the duck leaves. Next day, the duck comes back and asks the bartender: "Got any crackers?" The bartender says no again, so the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back and asks the bartender "got any crackers?" the bartender says no, and then says "if you come in here again, I'll nail your feet to the floor!" so the duck leaves. The next day the duck comes in again and asks "got any nails?" The bartender says no, so then the duck asks "got any crackers?" xp
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Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:50 pm
A friend of mine was at a drive-thru window with a carload of buddies (all were under the influence of pot) and said something that ended up being extremely funny to the other stoned people. So, as the drive-thru girl is asking them what they want, all that you can hear in the car is raucous laughter. So the driver of the car turns around to his passengers and yells, loud enough for the girl to hear and then some, 'GUYS, SHUT THE HELL UP, OR SHE'LL KNOW WE'RE ON DRUGS!!'
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Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 5:27 pm
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 4:57 pm
xd College jokes, priceless!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart a** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
~*~*~
A young man in a college exam finished his exam early and proceded to pull out and scratch a scratch and win ticket. At the same time the professor called "Time up, bring your papers to the front."
All the students got up and deposited their papers on the desk except the young man, who looked as if he'd won some money on his ticket. As the last person leaves he gets up and goes to put his paper on the desk, but the professor says "Sorry, time's up" with an arrogant smirk on his face.
The guy looks mad and asks with some indignation, "Excuse me, but do you know who I am?"
The professor, looking already bored with the conversation, says, "I have no idea."
The guy smirks and says "Good" as he lifts up half the papers, tosses his in, grabs the apple on the desk, and walks away.
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 5:03 pm
The Old Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, Cuddles notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the
beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says: "Where's that darn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 5:08 pm
ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE
It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are
female jokes. And there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true
female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.
~*~
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will).
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition." (There are always conditions)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. Then he rep lied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (controlling, huh?) The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address.
She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said....
.........................
.................................
....are you ready for this ?......................................
................................................
.....................................................
.............................................................
"Clean my house."
(YOU GO GIRL!!!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Posted: Sun May 01, 2005 10:29 pm
*jaw hits the gorund* whahahahaha that a good one aarien its sooo evil
but i have heard rumors yesh evill rumors that some girls get ther jollies
watching men clean there house....why else would women sleep with
pool boys...note to self get job as pool boy.... any how excellent joke
whahahahahah twisted lol
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Posted: Mon May 02, 2005 9:31 am
O_O Aarien!!! it's a good thing i knew about this already- cuz these scare the s**t outta me D: you are evil X_x heart
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 6:15 pm
o my friggin gosh. those subliminal message. the one with the lords prayer and cradle of the filfth scared the shiz outta me. as soon as that girls pic popped up i pissed my pants and ran into my room screaming.
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 3:29 pm
IDK if this has been posted yet but here it goes:
This piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says " Hey get outta here, we dont serve string." So the piece of string leaves. The next day he comes back and the bartender says " Hey, i told you yesterday, we dont serve string, get outta here." So then the string gets a plan. He goes home and ties himself up into a knot and then frays the end of himslef thats sticking out. He then goes back to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, arent you that piece of string that came in yesterday?" and the string says " I'm Afraid Not" ( say it and it makes sense, get it, Afraid not? A frayed knot? i crack myself up)........
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 8:34 am
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 3:13 pm
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 7:56 pm
.~[Radioactive sheep]~. Fisshu Ninjara Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two if they're small enough. ....this seems to be one of those jokes where I won't understand it forever, then wake up randomly in the middle of the night understanding the punchline completely. sweatdrop Lol, i so that , but i'll explain it to you. Screw=Shag/have sex 3nodding So if the mice are small enough they can have sex inside the lightbulb mrgreen Now bow down to my smartness! lol *Crowd of cult peoples bows down*
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Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 8:06 pm
Desirable Ai Master_of_Shadow Liek Joke! I finally found one that doesn't suck too much... How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out! (Mwahah. ^_^) *Smacks Liek* scream I don get that joke!!!
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