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All of us here enjoy new things, especially when those things are movies, games, and whatever else fills our e-lives with joy and "oh ********". Some of us have a lot of time, some of us don't. Some of us can afford to buy a dozen new things when they come out and enslave ourselves in frot of a television for a while, and some have to pick and choose carefully because we don't have the cash to spare for everything that looks good.

That is where we all come in. We, as a community, are nerds. There's no way around saying that. However, as nerds, we are an authority on s**t that comes on CDs. You know it, I know it, and the people that get payed to review this s**t knows it... yet we know that sometimes we just can't trust what they say about these things becuase they are payed to write it.

Thusly: If you get a new game. If you see a new movie. If you just saw this awesome anime/read this awesome manga and want to whore it to everyone else. For any consumer-driven need you have... write a review from your own perspective and your own experience, and hook us up, y'all.

PLEASE ONLY POST REVIEWS, NO DISCUSSION.

Yes. Yes it is.

Title: Battlefield 2142

Type of media: Online-Based PC Game

Other extraneous information: First Person Shooter, war combat.

Review: Once upon a time, a little first-person-shooter based around the player being but a single soldier among dozens of other soldiers in a wartime setting came to be. This game was called Battlefield 1942, and it quickly became one of the most beloved PC games of all time. Shortly thereafter, another game was released, called Battlefield Vietnam. Together these games worked themselves into a niche and have been a staple of internet cafes and PC gamers everywhere. And then, after a long wait, came the much anticipated sequel, Battlefield 2, which reinvented the Battlefield franchise by creating the squad system, and allowing a Commander to have full reign over the battlefield. And then, not long after Battlefield 2 was released, trailers for yet another game were shown briefly, offering tasty bits of information to our hungry gamer eyes. And the waiting is finally over, for Battlefield 2142 has arrived in all its glory, and has surpassed everything about Battlefield 2 before it.

Battlefield 2142 has the player once more taking control of a single soldier in a much greater war, however, this time, you aren't fighting simply for a country, or to defeat a crazed dictator. No, this time, you are fighting for your very survival! The storyline takes place many years in the future at the dawn of a new ice age which threatens to destroy much of humanity and civilization as we know it. As the ice spreads and takes over Northern Europe, thousands of people rush south to escape the icy clutches of destruction that loom in the distance. And those people need places to live, no matter what the cost, even if they are taken by force...

The game offers two armies to choose from. Either the European Union (EU) or the Pan Asian Coalition (PAC). Each army has weapons that differ in power and effectiveness, as well as use in combat, even for different classes. For example, both armies have an "Engineer Class" which is a mixture of the Anti-Tank and Engineer classes from Battlefield 2. The rocket launcher for the EU team fires four rockets towards an enemy target that are unguided and curve upward at extreme distances, causing some misses. These rockets do considerable damage to most targets with just one volley. The rocket launcher for the PAC team fires a single rocket, however it can be losely guided after being fired by moving the aiming reticle towards a target. This rocket does a little less damage as the pay off for its maneuverability. Both armies have a wide variety of unlocks for each class, allowing heavy customization for your particular class.

Just as with Battlefield 2, the game lags a bit when you first enter a game, however it soon smoothes itself out. Another nice thing about the game is that you don't have to have a hardcore gamig rig to play it and enjoy it. The game looks beautiful, as the graphics are superior to Battlefield 2 and sounds great even on the lowest play settings, and the controls are fully customizable just like Battlefield 2. The ranking system is immense, nearly fourty different ranks can be reached with an unlock being gained for each rank. At the moment, there are a few bugs and glitches while playing, such as stat tracking and unlocks being faulty at times, and some players randomly being kicked from games, however, these should be worked out with time, and even with them, they are still only minor annoyances. Overall, I would deffinately say give this one a try if you liked the other Battlefield games, or, if you're a fist-timer to the series it would be a great game to pick up and play with to introduce yourself to the play mechanics.

Rating: 8/10

Title: .hack//G.U. Vol. 1 Rebirth
Type of media (movie, game, show, book, etc.): Role-playing game.
Other extraneous information (genre, platform, etc.): Available for PS2 exclusively.

Review: Finally, a new .hack game! G.U. takes place on the second version of "The World", referred to as r.2, created by CC Corp. Haseo is an Adept Rogue (a Jack-of-Trades class which can use multiple weapons), a PKK known as the Terror of Death, who is hunting down another PK by the name of Tri-Edge. Later on in the game, you become a member of a guild run by some employees of CC Corp. who are investigating Tri-Edge, and other strange happenings in "The World". They all happen to be "Epitaph Users" - character with the ability to summon an "Avatar" to fight for them, each of which are one of the Phase bosses from the first .hack series. The game has all the twists and turns of the first .hack series; much better, cell-shaded graphics; and an item-customization feature that can make your weapons stronger. The ending leaves you craving for what happens next, and comes a lot sooner than you would expect. I can't wait for the next installment (and for the actual online game, if they ever make one)!

Rating (X/10): 9/10

Edit: There is an online .hack game, .hack//FRAGMENT, but it's only available in Japan. WHY MUST YOU DEPRIVE US SO?!

Final Fantasy XII
Playstation 2
Square-Enix

They've released many titles bearing the series name, but it has been several years since Square has released a proper sequel to Final Fantasy (FFXI doesn't count; they should have called that Final Fantasy Online and call this one XI. But that's an entirely different topic). And what a sequel it is at that. Square had perfect timing when releasing this game, just before the end of the PS2's lifespan. They just had to show off the systems power one last time before moving on to bigger and better things.

Final Fantasy XII takes place in Ivalice, a world familiar to all of you who’ve played FF Tactics and FF Tactics Advance. The storyline itself breaks away from the tired-old technology base many games nowadays and went back to its fantasy medieval roots. You know the drill; evil empire rules the world, save the princess, unravel the twisted plot, etc. Cynicism aside, the story in this game is as flawless as ever. You’d think that they’d run out of ways to make you save the world after a while, but they always come back strong.

The graphics in this game are AMAZING. In cutcenes they actually outstrip quite a few 360 games I've seen, showing just how much power these older systems had. They're crisp, bright, and have an incredible amount of depth to them. The creatures and people that populate Ivalice have high detail and look especially badass. Only complaint is that some people look like they’re crying in areas with bright light. With awesome effects and backgrounds, this game delivers a high amount of eye candy, which is always welcome in a game such as this.

The voice overs in this game are clear and dynamic. They don't sound fake on any level, and bring the game to a whole new tier of awesome. The sound effects are what you’d expect from any other game from square. In fact, most of the music in this game are just updated versions of songs from the previous games. I don’t mind this at all. In fact, it gives it sort of a nostalgia factor. Very nice. At no part in the game where I thought “Geez, turn that s**t down. That beat is driving me nuts.” I’d definitely recommend getting the soundtrack.

Gameplay wise, Final Fantasy XII lives up to the hype. Battles take place in the environments you’re exploring, so you don’t have to worry about random encounters. This game takes advantage of something called ‘Gambits’, or custom tactics that tell your party members what to do in combat. That doesn’t mean you can just chill and let the AI pwn the game for you. If you leave it alone during, lets just say, a fight with a Judge, you’ll get creamed. You should max out the battle speed and make it active right away like I did. This lets you take on a more strategic role while keeping the pace of the other games. Anything else is for failures.

The lisence system is the series newest in character customization. Basically, you need a liscence to do ANYTHING in that game, whether it be equipping bronze armor, using remedies, or casting ultima. Using LP gained in battle, you have to choose which lisences wisely to pwn efficently. This adds a level to the customability to the game that aren't apparent in most RPGs.

This game is fairly long, and should keep you busy for several days. A week or so if you don’t play as much as I do. People say the game is too hard, but those people are blowing steam out of their asses. I did it severely under leveled (again), and I didn’t find the game that challenging whatsoever. Some bosses took several tries, which is good. My major beef with the game is that the Quickening (limit breaks, for you semi-old school people) make it waaaaay too easy. I’ve wiped out several bosses in one chain of attacks, two if you count switching to my reserve to pummel the thing with another stock of Combos (20+ each time).

Maybe I’m just so awesome that games don’t challenge me anymore. Or I need a life.

Verdict: 9/10

Re-Evaluation ( 4/10/08 ): The gameplay wasn't as enjoyable after a while. You can win most battles by running in circles with Balthier and shooting things with your riffle. Whoa, strategy. In a gameplay sense, it's not as good as I made it sound; I'm embarrassed to say that I got caught up in the hype. However, it's still a great game worth buying. 7.5/10

((sorry about the delay; I totally forgot about this place.))