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faeriebell

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Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 10:04 pm

This thread will be a place to post our favorite House-isms. In each episode House says things that crack me up or say to myself "I cannot believe he just said that!" This thread seems a perfect way to archive and share our favorite quotes.

Some of my favorites from the John Cho episode:

"I wouldn't have tortured you if I knew you liked it."
"You're on my naughty list, sorry, no leather sthethescope this Christmas."

Post away, rejoice in House's snarkiness!!

Posted: Mon May 30, 2005 10:33 pm

"Afternoon Delight, she just loves the hard wood"

I think it was from Babies and Bathwater...

"There's no 'I' in team, there's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up" ~ Poison

MahoTsuki
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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 9:25 am

Haha... Oh, this will be difficult.

Mmmm. I'm definitely a big fan of, "Is it true what they say about Jewish foreplay?"

I'll think of more later when I can find some transcripts. I'm pretty sure there's a website that lists every snark, ever.

Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 5:42 pm

House: Dr. Cuddy. Nice outfit.
Cuddy: What are you doing back here? Patient?
House: No, hooker. Went to my office instead of my home.
~~Paternity

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not going to happen.
~~Occam's Razor

^ my absolute fave!!!

singingwhilemedicated

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singingwhilemedicated

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Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 5:49 pm

http://tvtome.com/House/
Here this has synopsis, quotes, and trivia on all epis.

Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 7:35 pm

Stacy: Please, if you are right this may be his only shot.
House: So what's your plan? You take the big dark one I've got the little girl and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things turn rough.

junkie95

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im_not_crazy101

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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:03 pm

I like my leg. I've had it as long as I can remember.

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 12:58 pm

I was always partial to "You have little people inside you" xd

Gynne

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Greenleymadison

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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 4:47 pm

the long awaited quotes!!!!

Dan's Father: How can you just sit there?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, if I eat standing up I spill.

[Dr. House is seeing a patient whose skin is bright orange]
Dr. Gregory House: ...and your wife is having an affair...
Orange patient: What?
Dr. Gregory House: You're ORANGE, you moron! And your wife hasn't noticed it.

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

Dr. Gregory House: Hey! You're Killing Her!
Edward Vogler: Really?
Dr. Gregory House: She Knew The Risks! One blip in the data and your results are off!
Edward Vogler: The FDA eats blips for Breakfast! One Person Shouldn't Endanger Thousands!
Dr. Gregory House: Thank God For You To Save All Those Lives!
Edward Vogler: [chuckles] Calm Down. Why don't you play some Game Boy. Watch your soap. I hear there firing the handsome doctor today.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job; the clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
Dr. Gregory House: But as the philosopher Jagger once said "You can't always get what you want."

Dr. Gregory House: I'm extremely disappointed. I send you out for exciting, new designer drugs, you come back with tomato sauce.

Dr. Gregory House: Like I always say, there's no ?I? in team. There's a ?me? though, if you jumble it up.

Mr. Foster: What is your problem?
Dr. Gregory House: Bum leg, what's yours?

Dr. Gregory House: Fine. Have it your way. Immaculate conception.
Clinic Patient: Um, what do I do?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, it's obvious: start a religion.

I have tons upon tons more... just PM me or post if you want me to post more

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 5:23 pm

Quote:

"There's no 'I' in team, there's a 'me' though, if you jumble it up" ~ Poison

Wasn't that from DNR? This certainly is-

Foreman: You assaulted that man.
House: Fine. I?ll never do it again.
Foreman: Yes, you will.
House: All the more reason this debate is pointless.

and so's this-
House: I checked him out. He?s a great doctor. You think he?s better than I am.

Foreman: This about your ego?

House: Answer the question. It?s not going to change my opinion of myself. Might affect my opinion of you, but that shouldn?t affect your opinion of yourself. Now I?m getting confused.

~
I heart the whole 'everybody lies' thing

Pilot
House: Is she a doctor?
Foreman: No, but?
House: Everybody lies.

The Socratic Method
Cameron: What is it, everybody lies, except for schizophrenics and their children?

Role Model
Wilson: Everybody lies, except politicians?

Senator: Okay, okay, you?re okay, it?s okay. Everybody lies.

Honeymoon
Cameron: What happened to everybody lies?
House: I lied.

If you guys find any other 'everybody lies' quote, please share! biggrin

Mist of Veracity
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faeriebell

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Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 9:48 pm

these are great, they crack me up!! Post more if ya got em!

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005 10:50 pm

there is this one where house asks the guy to leave and he was like why then house goes because i dont like you or something like that. can you find that quote?

junkie95

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ScholasticaScottora

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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 11:29 am

If anyone wants to do a little research, http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/house/ has transcripts of every episode.

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2005 7:02 pm

tiffany421

there is this one where house asks the guy to leave and he was like why then house goes because i dont like you or something like that. can you find that quote?

I think it goes:

House ~ "Could you step outside a minute?"
Guy ~ "Why?"
House ~ "Because you irritate me."

MahoTsuki
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Sunegami

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Posted: Tue Jun 07, 2005 7:52 am

heart The Official House Website heart

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