|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:13 pm
This will take at least an hour to read, just to warn you. It's split up in quoted chapters, though, if you want to come back to it later. Also, it's not the most well organised read. No paragraphs till the end, no logical plot. Just... Well, you'll see.(edit: Seriously, Gaia crashed when I tried to preview it just now. xD) (Editedit: It also crashed when I tried to post it just now. Gawd, I hope this isn't a double post with something this big. xP) (editeditedit: Oh, Gaia has a post size limit. That's new to me. Did anyone else know that? *goes to split it up*) Several years ago, a few friends and I had a group on MSN. In our group, we had what we called "the endless fic." The endless fic started off as a page on which moderators, or assistant moderators, could add to the text on the page, creating a story. Eventually, it got to two pages, then three, and most recently five. The group has been abandoned for a year and a half now, except for the posts of DarkProphetREBORN, who was posting to merely keep the guild from being deleted out of inactivity. A few days ago, I stumbled upon the guild once more, and found that he had written almost a full page, before stopping entirely. I added a bit to the end yesterday, while in a particularly emo mood. I realised, still in my emo mood, how sad the story was. Sure, it made no sense, there wasn't much that would be deemed sad in it, but... it is a story that has not been read. This made me feel really emo, and I decided to brush off the dust and post it somewhere. Though I've never really had any place to call my home on Gaia, I've had two places that I still have friends. Here, and what is now the longest lasting family RP thread on Gaia, created by yours truly. That didn't seem to really be the place to put it, as it seemed to need a thread of it's own. So I brought it here. I know I make too many threads in here already. I apologise for these, and I thank you for putting up with them. And now, I ask you to put up with another. I present to you the whole fic, as it is currently in the abandoned group, in a slightly easier to read format than it's original. In other words, I went through the whole thing and made it into a Gaia format. I also spent a good while simply going through and re-coloring the sections written out by the different members, though there were really only four of us who wrote in here. RennyDarkProphetREBORNRyuŦєи¢ћוֹŽєĺđα₣яєαĸ(Note, Ŧєи¢ћוֹŽєĺđα₣яєαĸ later changed his name to TenchiZeldaFreak, then TenchiSama, then Skitzo Qwerty, then Skiz-Erz.) Oh, and don't worry. That's the end of the Emo for a while. But get ready for a whole lot of gibberish before the 'story' starts to make sense, then is completely mauled back down by *cough* someone's rather bad grammar and ideas of what's cool in a story. Eventually it works its way up to a collection of inside jokes bunched together in an odd format. However, even if you aren't in on any of these inside jokes, there's some humor to be had in it. Oh, and also... DPR is kinda a lolicon. Not kinda, but really. He tries to deny it, but... just read the last two sections, and you'll understand. Just a warning to you, if you get upset by that kind of stuff. Seaking of which, Here's the original warning page, created by Renny. Quote: THE ENDLESS GROUP FIC
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
REGFRB WARNING:
(Renny's Endless Group Fic Rating Board Warning)
THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE SWEARS ALOT AND HAS RUDE COMMENTS, GORY COMMENTS, PERVERTED COMMENTS AND EVILNESS INCLUDING SATAN AND FAST FOOD. IF YOU ARE NOT 16, YOU SHOULD NOT READ THIS.
SERIOUSLY.
YOU MIGHT GET OFFENDED AND STUFF.
THEN YOU WILL EMAIL ME AND BE LIKE "THIS IS BAD!"
AND I WILL BE LIKE "I WARNED YOU!"
AND YOU WILL BE LIKE "SHUT THE ******** UP"
AND I WILL SHOOT YOU WITH MY LASER DEATH RAY.
THEN YOU WONT REPLY.
BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the endless group fic, an endless fiction story about.....anything!
its random, it makes no sense, its funny, and... yeah...
NOTE: WE KNOW IT IS NOT WRITTEN CORRECTLYA Note: I might go in and correct some spelling errors.
i.e.: capital letters, paragraphs, "slang" words, etc. We write it wrongly for space reasons. (and we are to bored to right capital letters)
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:15 pm
Quote: Tsuchida looks around, then gasps. There is no longer a lake where the lake used to be... A strange and very rude wormhole opens up over the ex- lake, and the Prophet is flung out, much to his confusion. After reattaching his appendages, he looks around for a woodland population to mutilate. Tsuchida blinks, then whimpers greatly. Sakura is still after him, for he has stolen... 9 PLUSHIES! AND SUDDENDLY on the other end of the planet at that exact moment and time, a little, innoccent chinese boy buys ice cream. he drops it. he cries. he picks it up and puts it back on the cone. he attempts to lick it. it falls off again. he goes super sayain ( god help us ) and kills everything around him. then he picks the ice cream he drops and licks it. Suddenly, once more, armaggeddon strikes. T.A. loses the game. T.A. looks up and says, "Bob leaves his house at 3:00, and walks 1 mile, uintill 4:00. He is then struck by a meteor, and the impact sends him at 170 mph for 30 minutes. What was his average speed for the journey, and how far did he travel?" who traveled? why? when? *looks at map* is this the dairy queen? i need to see her for an urgent reason! * guards look at each other, take out shot guns and kill him * DIE HAHAHA! * THEN 3 women walk into a bar. theres a burnette, a red head, and a blonde. the burnette goes into the bathroom and the mirror says: " tell me something true and i will fufill your ultimate desire , but if it is a lie, i shall suck u into a ultimate endless abyss of doom! " the burnette says " im the hottest girl here " then the mirror fuffills her ultimate desire. the red head walks in the bathroom ( obviously after the burnette came out ) and the mirror says : " tell me something true and i will fufill your ultimate desire , but if it is a lie, i shall suck u into a ultimate endless abyss of doom! " and the red head says " im the smartest girl here " then the mirror fuffills her ultimate desire. then the blonde comes into the bathroom after the red head, and the mirror says " tell me something true and i will fufill your ultimate desire , but if it is a lie, i shall suck u into a ultimate endless abyss of doom! " then the dumb blonde says " i think.........." then the mirror sucks her up into its ultimate endless abyss of doom. T.A. wonders if he will ever be drawn. well, he probably won't need to be, seeing as he's a real person. an such. T.A. explains to tsuchida his plan to fill a flagpole will fuel, cover the ground in grease, *T.A.'s voice gets faster and more exited, and spit is flyin everywhere* andthen,andthen,youskewraguyontheflagpoleand,and,and, *T.A. makes a suggestive hand gesture* thenyougetamatch,andthenKAPOW! *does a complete backflip in the exitment* hehehehehe! *cough* some random guy looks into the sky and he goes blind, then he walks into a steamroller and gets crushed. then we switch to america, a man walks into a flea market with a cart, and there is a sign that says "no smoking, or ciggerate butts in this area" so the guy keeps on walking. some scottish man comes up to him and says " AYE! WOT DU YOO TINK URE DOIN!? THEE SINE SAYS NOE BUTTS!" the man looks at him and says, "What do you mean!? this isnt butts!? there asses!" *shows pig asses in the cart* then the scot says "WOT DU SOOPOES EET EES THAYN!? HAGGISS!?" the man looks at him and says "What's haggiss? " and the scot says " AYE DOENT KNOWE! BUT WEE DOENT SELL EET HERE!!!" then, TZF looks at renny, who looks a IP and renny says : " did u guys hear that two trailer park girls went 'round the outside? TZF: round the outside? IP : ROUND THE OUTSIDE!? RENNY: ROUND THE OUTSIDE! then out of nowhere, collin comes out of nowhere and says "ROUND THE OUTSIDE!" then eminem passes, then crashes his car and the ejection seat flys out. then they all look around, smile and cry. *collin is a real person, so is IP, renny, and tzf, but we just wanted to use collins REAL name* Then, Dark Prophet REBORN comes out of nowhere with Battousai, and they look around confused while DPR puts his arm back in place. they look at something, which is a gas tank, and they look at it, then it blows up, and DPR's left arm goes flying. he cries out OH s**t! and TZF laughs at his brother. Then, Collin runs away, knowing that he has lots of homework to do. Renny looks at TZF and says: "u shouldent laugh at your brother?" TZF: "and why not?" Renny: "thats why." DPR looks at tenchi, rather pissed off, with a much bigger arm, and points backwards. U see a very muscular man running around, with his left arm gone, with blood gushing out. DPR punches TZF across the street, then he gets up with a black eye. oh DPR... he lts down his collar, shows his vampire teeth, and jumps towards his brother. IP, battousai and renny all look at them fighting, then ID comes out of nowhere, jumps into the fight. then, renny shows his teeth, his marks show and his black wings come out *renny is an oni....this will explain much easier*, and he jumps into the fight. so the fight lasts for around 1 hr, then it stops, everybody is tired as hell, and they stop, pull out drinks from nowhere, and slurp them, then they start talking. "guess what?" renny says. DPR: what? Renny: 2 trailer park girls went 'round the outside. TZF: round the outside? DPR: round the outside!? IP: Round the outside!?! Battousai: Round the outside!?!? ID: round the outside!?!?! collin : ROUND THE OUTSIDE !?!?!? renny: ROUND THE OUTSIDE!!! TZF:ya know, I think I really like Vanilla. they all look around, then they all notice that ppl are all staring at them. then, ryu flys down, and says what did i miss? we all look at him, and laugh very loud. very very loud. pl are still staring, and out of nowhere a guy comes out and says to DPR: "HERES YOUR STUPID ARM! GIVE ME MINE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" DPR rips off his left arm *which isnt exaclty his...* and gives it to the guy, then the guy takes his arm and says " ******** gay mofo sick d**k lickin b***h guy humpin tree hugger!" then, renny gets up, and slashes off his head. then, issa comes, renny gets up, and walks with issa. everyone follows us to the beach resort. They arrive at the HOLIDAE INN!!!!!! and they party the night away................i guess...... anyways they party the night away, so its obviously morning, and everyone is tired. and so they sleep, and oh, what sleeping they did. then they got up and went their seperate ways, hoping to all be at the same spot that eminem would crash. so they walked, and oh what walking they did. the walked and walked and walked. what walking! then they all end up in the same spot, for no apparent reason, in a McCarbohydrates. they eat. they eat alot. and then they walk together, and they walk the carbs off ( for carbs are the enemy! ) ok anyways goin to renny who is walking with battousai says, " if i tell u somethin, will u promise not to tell anyone?" battousai says : "yeah" renny: "look at this!" renny pulls out three plushies that belonged to sakura. then, a scream that would break ones eardrums is behind them, and sakura is running behind them, rather pissed off. GIVE ME MY ******** PLUSHIES! renny: OH s**t! renny starts to run. sakura catches up, puts a stake in his back, and takes her plushies, and walks off. renny: "umm, help me battousai!" battousai looks at him " with what?" renny: "what do you think!?" battousai looks at him, rips the stake out of his back, and helps him up. renny: " do you have any gauze?" battousai looks confused, then goes into his back poket, and pulls out a small, glow in the dark power rangers bandaid. renny: "that will do." Ryu magicaly appearrs out of no where and says O ******** MAN I JUST HEARD U GOT STABbED IN UR BACK MY SAKURA, r u ok??? Renny: yah i am, 1. Ryu: 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 Renny: 3..... hey wait. U b***h. Renny starst wistling. Ryu: any can i have Sakura's phone number? Renny: why. Ryu: because i do. Renny: sory cant becuase i dont know it either. Ryu: ********..... Renny anyways lets go. They start to walking and pass a couple stores and see fine girls and get nose bleeds! Battousai: hey wait dont u think that we should call the others? Renny: why? Battousai: becuase i think they might wanna know where we are adn its kinda late. Ryu: is battousai getting scared of the dark?! Battousai: no im not Ryu starts shouting Battousais scared of the dark!!! at the top of his voice and then BLAM!!!! Ryu goes flying into a tree Ryu: ahhh s**t WHAT WAS THAT FOR?? Battousai: becuase ur and irritating b*****d. Ryu starts rubbing his head, "u didnt have to do it that hard u know". Renny stares at ryu, and falls down in laughter, then walks off. Ryu: "WHAT THE ********!?" battousai: "HA!" ryu:" youll pay for that, renny" Collin walks in out of nowhere, and does a ninja stance. Collin: "WHUUOAAA!!!!" ryu: " what?" Collin jumps towards ryu, and kicks him. the force is so strong, it sends ryu flying. then, collinf flies off. Collin: "JUST HELPING THE COMMUNITY!" battousai looks up. "my god." then, he looks foward, and a blood curling scream awakens the sleepy waterfront community. or whats left of it. battousai: "WHOOOSH!" he runs, with his fist in front of him. Suddenly, dark prophet comes out of the forest, and yells "where the hell is the woodland population?" Ryu: "i dunno and i dotn give a s**t!(still rubbing his head). Dark Prophet: "thats very conciderate" Renny: "Take it easy Ryu i mean after all ur thick head can't be hurt that bad(shaking with laughter under his breath!) " BOOM, SMACK, WOOM!!! Ryu jump ninja kicks Renny, he goes soaring into a wall and through it into another! he starts to slide down. Renny: "Ouch." Renny starts to get to his feet.... Ryu:thats wat u get u b***h! Hahahahahah. Renny: "Ohhh i c how it is pineapple boy, u wanna start something, ok bring it PUNK!!!!" Ryu: Aight now its on!! Ryu and Renny start fighting and all this smoke and dirt forms in a cloud. Suddenly Cairie comes out of no where and says "Would u to five it a rest!!!!!!!! DAMN! The dust clears and Ryu has Renny on the ground with his hand on his neck and his fist in the air, while Renny has his hands on Ryu's neck. they are both bleeding and panting and beat up. while ryu isnt looking, renny soars over to ryu, and punches him strait in the spine. the blow sends him reeling toward a wall, and he crashes strait into it. he gets out of the rubble, and soars back to renny. renny dodges it. Renny: 'you deserved that.' ryu sticks out his tounge, and walks off with CARRI ( Car - ree ) and.. well.. yeah... he looks around, and walks his own way. suddenly, a lad jumps across the street and a car swerves out of the way as to not hit him. the lad screams, but he is not hit. suddenly, a cop car comes chasing after the first one, and runs over the little lad. there is much blood. renny looks down. "sweeeet". he looks at the body. "hellp meeee" the lad cries. renny looks at him. he walks over and looks down. "SHUT IT!" he kicks his body, with a hard, swift kick. Suddenly, The Omnipotent Creator from TZF an dpR's comic comes out of no where and erases the lad! The lad never was! The lad never will be! someone looks around and says "what lad?" exactly. says the Omnipotent Creator. Suddenly, TZF opens up his stall and tries to sell people green wobbly things that he is calling "life" TZF: You want Life? Cheap price! Oly fifty american dollar! *a taxi driver zooms by with smoke seeping out of the windows* TZF: You want gas mask? Cheap price? Yes? No? Mebbe? *TZF opens up a different part of the stall, closing the life and gas mask section* TZF: Yu want muffins and lemonade? Yes? You like? You want extra sugar? More ice for hot day? *he sells some lemonade to a lad* Suddenly, a huge eraser tip comes out of the sky, and erases the lad. the lemonade falls to the ground, all dramatic and slow like. The lad never was. and the lad will never be. Onlooker: What lad? OC: exactly. suddenly, the lemonade hits the ground. everyone is splashed with lemonade. TZF's eyes go wide, then he yells: NOOOOOOOOO! a small dog comes along and licks up the lemonade. "YOU FOOLISH LITTLE DOG!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!?" the dog looks up. "Woof." the man looks at him with wide eyes." I HAVE BEEN CURSED!!! I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!!" everybody looks at him. an old man walks to him. "SHUT IT!" he smacks him with the cane. he goes flying. wow. all of a sudden, renny walks in... "HOLY s**t I FORGOT MY PANTS!" he runs, and trips. "oh, i was wearing them" he looks at Tzf, who is looking at DpR, who is looking at Renny. they all look at eachother, they look at the dog, the dog looks at them. DpR takes the dog, and rips it in half. then, orcs come out of nowhere "looks like meat is back on our menu, boys!" they tear the dog apart, and a rubberry intestine goes flying, and lands on renny. "lovely". Suddenly, a violent little squirrell comes up, and yells: DIE YOU SONS OF BITCHES! and fills some tediz with lead with an uzi. suddenly, a stationary gun shoots the hell out of the swuirrell, and a great blob of dung falls out of the sky, and starts singing opera. Great mighty poo: I am the great mighty poo, and I'm going to throw my s**t at you! How about some scat, you little t**t? A whole load of tish, from my chocolate starfish! Suddenely Ryu appears outta nowwhere beside DpR . Ryu: "What happened? God damn man, wat the ********! There is an intestine on u Renny! O MY GOD! Renny: "Well DpR ripped a dog in half then a bunch of orcs came and ate it and the intestine landed on me" "That about wraps it all up" Ryu: "Nice". Renny brushes of the intestine and trows it back to the orcs and they devower it. "I think we should get going."dpR suddenly looks around wondering why these mortals are causing such an uproar. "You foolish mortals! Why do ye causeth such an uproar?! I was having a pleafant time ripping apart the dog ye spoke of but now Much Foolifhness hath occur'd! I take mine leave of thee to go Wander Around... Aimleffly!!!" Renny sneezes, and wipes his nose " sorry, im alergic to dog intestines." Suddenly, the great mighty poo realizes that practicaly no-one has played Bad Fur Day. It stops singing, and gets flushed. suddenly, the toilet decides to regurgitate all past encounters, and everyone is slightly... soiled shall we say... Suddenly, a scarecrow comes up and says that the button is context sensitive, which means it's sensitive to context. Suddenly, Renny realizes that so far he has been covered in lemonade, dog intestine, and s**t. Renny: What a day...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:16 pm
Quote: Suddenly, it starts to hail. A man is seen putting up a metal umbrella, then he walks out into the street. There are many *tink tinka tink* sounds as the small chunks of ice hit his umbrella. After He walks off, a lad looks around, and puts up an umbrella. He steps out into the street, and there is a ripping sound as a piece of hail falls through the soft material of his umbralla. He screams and tries to get back inside, but there are many more ripping sounds, and the lad is brutaly shredded in a massive shower of blood. Suddenly, the OC appears, and says: "The lad never was. The lad never will be." "what lad? "Exactly." As the hail starts to calm down, the man with the metal umbrella is seen walking along. He eventually gets to a porta potty, and he steps inside and closes the door. There is a soft click as the door is locked and a sign on the door lights up as "occupied". Suddenly, a masked figure comes out of a nearby alley, and pulls a chainsaw out of his coat. There is a revving sound as he starts it up, and a loud grinding noise as he saws the lock off of the door. He rips the door off, and there is a scream from inside. A lump of thick brown substance is thrown out of the porta potty, and splatters against the masked man's coat. The masked man revs up his chainsaw once more, and the man inside is killed in a very orderly fasion. The masked figure takes the body away, and there is a faint zipping sound after a while, followed by a series of soft thumps. After a while, there is another zipping sound, and the masked man comes out from the alleyway and repairs the porta-potty, and then goes back into the shadows to wait for his next victim. Suddenly, Renny comes along and goes into the porta-potty. once more, there is a soft click as the door is locked and a sign on the door lights up as "occupied". The masked figure comes out, and revs up his chainsaw. Renny bursts out, and points at the man, and says: "You think your all cool, but one day, your gonna get hit by a car!" Suddenly, there is another great revving sound, and a car bursts out of a nearby building in a shower of bricks, concrete, and a water cooler. It reverses, turns towards the masked man, and revs up again. There is a splat of metal hitting flesh, and the masked figure is killed. Suddenly, Renny laughs at the masked figure and says: "Hah! Told ya so!" Renny runs back into the porta-potty after realising that he is still in his boxers. The car drives off, as if nothing had happened. Suddenly, Frodo comes along with Arnold Shwartzaneager (just a guess at the spelling) as Samwise Gamjee. Frodo: "I can't go any farther, Sam..." Sam/Arnold: "I CAHN'T CAHRRY THAH RING MISTAR FROHDOH, BUT AH CAHN CAHRRY YOU!" Arnold picks up Frodo by his head, and runs off. The rain continues to pour. suddenly, from one of the nearby buildings, a man bursts out in despair. Someone has raided the fridge, and now all that is left is a squashed tomato, some mayonaise, and an unidentifiable thing! Golem's head peeks out of the fridge. "hello" he has a sean connery voice. At this same moment of time, renny is looking out of a window. he smiles. he gets up, and falls. gravity has gone apeshit. renny attemps to crawl, but the forces gravity and all of that other stuff are too much! he falls through the floor, landing on the guy who opened the fridge, and kills him. he still falls through the floor, lands on the ground floor, gets up, and coughs. Then, at that exact moment, frodo baggins is surrounded by orcs. lots. around 1200, and they all have their bows & arrows aimed at frodo. little do the orcs know, is that frodo, is neo's long lost brother, in the 2nd version of the matrix. the orcs, are viruses. frodo is norton anti virus. they shoot their arrows at full force, and frodo, does the "bullet time" dodge. man, those camera angles are sweet. Now, in australia, a man silently sits on a bench. its quiet, and dark. suddenly, a shadow grows under the bench, and it creates a vortex. then a huge mouth with around 3 jaws and over 1200000 teeth gobbles the man in a gory mess. the darkness settles and the bench moves back in place. an old lady comes to sit, and notices a spleen on the ground. she picks it up and stuffs it in her purse. she smiles. then sits. the darkness grows under the bench. renny gets up, and falls back down. "i need some tea!" At this time, jill from resident evil is in the helicopter, and very stressed. "im glad were out of there." she says. the man who drives the helicopter turns around "wanna listen to the radio?" Jill looks at him "sure." He turns it up, and it is playing a strange song. rebecca looks at them "turn it up!" Jill looks at her "what?" rebecca smiles "i like this song!" The driver turns the radio up. 'DO THE FUNKY CHICKEN! I SAID DO THE FUNKY CHICK - IN!' Jill turns around, and spots the Tyrant flapping his arms, flying. jill screams "turn it off!! QUICK!!" the man turns off the radio, in terror. Jill looks at the tyrant falling, because there is no music to interact with. Later, in a police car, they are all driving to the S.T.A.R.S. HQ, and jill asks for the radio to be turned on. so, the diver turns on the radio, and the song playing is a rap song, and it starts with "pump pump pump it up - pum pum pum pump it up!" and rebecca turns to look who is behind them, and sees the tyrant in a pimpmobile with a bling bling chain, bouncing up and down. Terror strikes the hearts of all that see this hideous ambomination in this wicked a** car. Renny walks into the road crossing, and sees the tyrant in the car. then, he pulls out a gun, and shoots the car. tyrant falls out, and they start to do matrix style fighting. then, jill changes the channel on the radio, and "fightin in the club" by i - 20 plays. TZF looks at DPr, and they sit down watching. "this is interesting, isnt it?" tzf looks at dpr "no."suddenly Ryu comes out of no where and sits down next to DPr and says "Wow if I knew there was stuff like this, i would never go to a movie again, anyone got any popcorn?" Tzf says no but there is a grocery store around the corner. BOOOOOM!!! Renny got slamed into a car and the car got hit into a wall and exploded. "That does it. come here u BIATCH!" Jill changes the channel and the song "Stand up" comes on and Renny Soars at Tryrant, he jump kicks him and and does a back flip and starts shooting Tyrant and Tryants like "Ay s**t! and he roars loudly. Renny says "SHUT IT TEA BAG!There is a soft splat as a small wet tea bag hits the floor. Everyone looks at it. Renny looks at it, and says, "cool." TZF tosses the tea bag at a random lad in the street, and there is a loud *BUZ-ZAP-BUZ-ZAP-BUZ-ZAP!* and they all look to the lad. there is a small pile of s**t where he was standing, and in the middle of all this s**t is a small wet teabag. The OC comes down, and says his usual stuff. A random person says, "what lad?" the OC replies with his usual answer. A paper boy throws a NEWSPAYPAH! threw renny's window onto his bed. Renny suddenly realises that he is in bed, and says, "uh... yeah." Renny Unfolds the NEWSPAYPAH! and reads the headlines on the front page. "Commmunity Leaders Outraged Over Porn Video" Renny continues to read the NEWSPAYPAH!, which states that "this tape contained no 'All-a**l Action' as promised, say concerned parents." Renny laughs, and throws the NEWSPAYPAH! out his window, which severly concusses a random lad in the street. You know what happens.Renny goes inside and get some back inside to get some breakfast. 5 minutes later the doorbell rings, he goes and opens the door. To his amazement it is a leprecaun! The little leprecaun says "Catch me if you can and i will give you a pot of gold" Renny thinks on this a while and says "OK!" The leprecaun runs away and Renny runs inside and gets a butchers knife and a bat. Renny runs to catch the leprecaun, when he gets close he throws the bat super fast and it hits the leprecaun so hard that he soars 30ft! Renny stands next to it while it rubs its head. Ryu comes around the corner and see him. Ryu runs to Renny and says "Whats going on?" Renny says "The leprecaun said that if I caught him he would give me a pot of gold. So I caught him." "Oh I see, oh well, I'll just stand back and watch" The leprecaun stands up and says "You cheated! You were not allowed to use an item to catch me" "You didnt say I couldnt use anything so I caught you fair and square b***h!" "So... you still dont get a pot of gold so ahahaha." "Fine If thats the way you want it" Renny goes and gets the bat and walk back to the leprecaun."I'll say it one more time, GIVE ME A POT OF GOLD!" The stuborn leprecaun refuses. In the background you hear Ryu saying "BEAT DAT b***h WITTA BAT!!!" "Noo ddddont hhhhhurtttt mmmmmmeeee please, hhhaaavvveee mercy." stuters the foolish leprecaun "Too late for that, remember you asked for this" Renny starts beating the leprecaun with a bat repetedly while ryu and other civilians watchin cheering him on. Soon the leprecaun dies and Renny walk to the crowd. Out of the crowd a jocky(a college american football player who thinks hes the best) steps out and says to Renny "You suck, you must be weak if you couldnt take on that little pipsquek without a weepon" the jocky walks to Renny and sees his wallet sticking out his pocket and grabs aswell as his bat. The jocky starts laughing and dancing around Renny saying crap while he is taking money out of the wallet. Renny's blood is boiling and at super speed he grabs his wallet, the jocky says "What the ********! oh well you are nothing without a weapon. The jocky goes and swings the bat at Renny but Renny catches it squeazes it so hard that it breaks. The jocky say "What are you, some kind of freaky allien?" "No im not" renny replies. Suddenly Renny grabs his butchers knife and slits the jockys throat and pushes him back and chucks the knife at the jocky(who amazingly is still standing holding his neck) and stabs him in his head and the jocky drops. Renny walks to the jocky and gets hims money, wallet and knife and says "You take my money, Ill take your life" and he spits on the dieing jocky. Renny turns around and looks at the crowd who is in shock and says "What you looking at?" Suddenly the crowd gives a deffining cheer. Renny starts walking to Ryu and the knife in Renny's hand is dripping with blood and leaving a trail. Ryu says "I think we should get going before there is a huge comotion. The two friends start walking into town. They meet up with TZF and DPr. TZF looks at them and says "anything interesting happend?" Renny and Ryu look at each other, then they look back at TZF and say "no."SUDDENLY, A GIANT CHICKEN RAIDS CHINA! then renny looks at DpR. "whats your name?" renny asks randomly. "um, uhh. whats yours?" renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?" renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?"renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?"renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?"renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?"renny stops to think. "renny." DpR looks at him "how do you spell it?" renny's eyes go thin "r-e-n-n-y" dpr looks with confusion. "what does that spell?" renny's eyes go more thin "it spells my name!!" dpr looks again "whats your name?" Renny looks at DpR with a strange, ugly look, then walks into the distance, avoiding everyone.Ryu catches up Renny and looks at him, "Why did u ditch us?" Renny looks back,"because dpr is getting really irritating!" "Sheesh man take a slight" They keep on walking. they reach the centre time of town and take a left down a street to a cafe. they sit down at a table and waitress comes to take their orders. Renny orders first, "Ill take a cappuccino" then Ryu "Ill take an Espresso. While the drinks were getting ready, Ryu looks at Renny,"do u think u will be on the news because u massacre that leprechaun?" "no, if i am then i dont care" The waitress comes back and gives them the drinks. When they are about to drink there is a deffning roar and screams. the two walk outside and they see Godzilla!! Godzilla uses his lazer/fire breath and incinerates a building and is stomping around. The two look at the civilians running and screaming and see a japanesse man running and says "I left Tokyo for this!" Ryu says" let me take care of this one. so he casually walks up the wall of a skyscrapper. and reaches the top and he is level with Godzilla and shouts "YO HIDEOUS!" godzilla looks at Ryu and Ryu looks back "ya umm talkin to u cocked eyed joe!" Godzilla roars in fury and shoots his breath but ryu reflects it back at him and it sends Gozilla into a building. Ryu jumps to the next sckyscraper next to the building. "you listen up you crusty toe nailed, bad breath, crap teeth, d**k succkin freak!Yo momma so ugly she looked out the window and Got aressted for mooning! Godzilla roars in fury. "SHUT IT TEABAG" replies Ryu. yo momma is so fat when she jump up and landed on the ground she went strait 2 hell and Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!(It isn't? No wonder the guy behind the counter laughed at me. )Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt. Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers! i was havin a good day untill u come and ruin it by comin and tearrin up ma city. now i want u to take ya ******** fat a** trash and get hell outta ma face. Ryu shoots Godzilla and he falls down and outta nowhere a B-2 Bomber fills gozilla's a** with bombs and missle and Godzilla howling. Ryu jumps down and walks back to Renny while drinking his espresso. Renny looks at Ryu "nicely done" ryu looks back "thanks" Suddenly Godzilla explodes and its gut cover the street. Ryu looks at Renny "nice" renny looks back "how lovely.SUDDENLY renny wakes up. he looks around. then, he sighs. "i thought it was just a dream. ryu couldnt kill godzilla by himslef. somneone would have to help." Ryu walks in "i had a dream i killed godzilla" Renny looks at him with grief "so did i" Ryu looks back. "this is wierd" Renny looks out the window. Godzilla is raiding the city. they look in disbelief, then I.P. comes out of nowhere and destroys godzilla. renny and ryu look , and laugh.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:18 pm
Quote: TZF decides to post. He runs through the battle field on which Godzilla was defeated, holding a Post-It note. He is shot down by a guy in an orange Jumpsuit. The OC comes down, and says, "TZF, You cannot die! We haven't even developed a sub-plot yet!" TZF gets up, looks around, and says, "Really? HOT DAMN!" He then wanders off into the sunset, singing that old Rawhide tune. dpR looks at Renny, who looks to Ryu, who looks back to dpR. I.P, however, shouts, "HI!" and runs off in the direction of a random lad in the street, who he has mistaken for one of Godzilla's comrades. The OC comes down, and tells us about how the lad never was and such. I.P. looks up and says, "What lad? that was a minion of Godzilla!" "It was? Oh. sorry." I.P. kicks the ground, and looks around. He sees King Kong coming to Avenge the death of Godzilla, So he runs, grabbing everyone else. King Kong destroys half of Townsville before noticing that I.P. has left. He roars, grabs a fair maiden, climbs up a high tower (just because he knows it is expected of him) and wanders off into the sunset. TZF yells at him, saying, "THIS IS MY SUNSET TO WANDER OFF INTO, BIZZ-NATCH!" TZF then runs away. Renny looks over at Ryu, and tells him of some trailer park girls, and how they went round the outside. "Round the outside?" asks Ryu quizzicaly. "Yes, round the outside." dpR, who had been listening in on the conversation, wanders over and asks, "So, are you saying that two trailer park girls went round the outside?" "yeah." There is a pause. "Sweeeeeet."another pause. renny looks at everyone. "we need music!" renny walks to a stereo and hits play. "HEY FELLAS!? YEAH!? WHATS BETTER THAN BEIN COOL!? ICE COLD!? WHAT!? ICE COLD!? COOL? ICE COLD!!!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" renny turns off the stereo. then, a young boy passes them, and looks at them, and says "why da ******** did ya turn off da ******** music, yo?! dat music was up-da-hood!" then, to police men come and tackle the boy, and take him away. at the police station, we see the boy in a room, in a chair, next to a table, with a recording machine and a police man. a woman walks in. "ma'am! your son has been swearing in public." the lady looks in surprise. "my son? swearing!?" the man looks at the lady "yes. we have it recorded here." the man hits the play button "why da ******** did ya turn off da ******** music, yo?! dat music was up-da-hood!" the lady looks at the boy, then looks at the man. "i understand, he wont do it again.we will be leaving now." the man looks at her "no, you wont." the lady looks shocked. "why!?" the man sighs "because...we need to play it in slow motion now." the lady looks confused "what!?" the man hits play "why da ******** did ya turn off da ******** music, yo?! dat music was up-da-hood!(in slow motion!)" the lady is now very upset. "ok.. we will leave now.." the man looks at her "NO YOU WONT!" the lady sits. "why!?!?" the man replies "now we have to play it in fast motion!" he hits play "why da ******** did ya turn off da ******** music, yo?! dat music was up-da-hood!(sounds like a chipmunk!)" the lady sighs "now what!?" the man smiles "now for slow motion with an echo!!!" hits play "why da ******** did ya turn off da ******** music, yo....yo.....yo....yo...?! dat music was up-da-hood...hood....hood....hood....! (slow again!)" the lady looks pissed off now. "MAY ME AND MY SON PLEASE LEAVE!?" the man replies "NO!" the woman looks at them "YOU PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!!" the man looks back "how dare you disgrace us. you deserve ultimate punishment." he locks his arm into a karate-chop position, and starts to hit it on the nerve, so it bounces up and down. "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO THE RESCUE!!!" the lady and the son are now a chopped up gory mess in the corner. the man unlocks his arm, and jumps out the window, which is now there because i didnt explain it before. "TO INFINITY, AND BEYOND!" there is a cartoony whooosh sound. Renny looks at TZF in a wierd way. "that kid has issues.." TZF looks in confusion "issues? like 1-10? or 'issues' issues?" Renny looks in confusion as well "im not to sure.." then, collin appears AGAIN out of nowhere "hey guys" everyone looks at collin "hi!" Renny suddenly jumps up, and so does I.P., tzf and collin. renny looks at them all "I SAW TWO TRAILER PARK GIRLS GO 'ROUND THE OUTSIDE!" TZF looks at him "ROUND THE OUTSIDE!?" collin looks "ROUND THE OUTSIDE!?" I.P. glares at them "losers." everyone looks at I.P. then sighs. everyone knows not to mess with I.P. unless you want your head blown to little kibbles 'n' bits...Kibbles and bits? I want my head to be blown into kibbles and bits! TZF runs over to I.P, and requests some kibblesses and bitsses. I.P. blows Gollum's head into Kibbles and Bits. Gollum says, "They turned our head into kibbleshesh and bitshesh! My prechioush!" in a Sean Connery Accent. Mreanwhile, Battousai, who had been running at the waterfront communtinty earlier wonders why he isn't any closer.Ryu appears out of nowwhere next to Renny "did i miss something?" "No not really besides a boy who swore in public being taken away by the police" "oh well...ok" Ryu walk over to I.P "hey i want my head to be blown to little kibbles'n' bits I.P says"ok then."he gets out a huge rocket launcher and he fires it but ryu stops the missle in the launcher and then runs away and so does everybody else and then BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM a big explosion occurs and Collin says "why did u do that, are you crazy" Ryu replies "mabye" then Collin says "ok" "Just kidding" Ryu says. Suddenly, Chiony jumps into the scene, and grabs I.P. "HELLO TRISTAN" I.P. looks around "GUARDS!!!" Ben, in a military / biohazard containment suit equipped with a rifle comes running next to tristan, then, Renny comes up from the bottom of the screen, wearing a Darth Vader costume and ben and renny both look at Chiony. then, chiony runs up some random pair of stairs, screaming. Renny uses the force to pull himself up to chiony's level, and pulls out & turns on his lightsaber. Ben, just runs up the stairs. then, orlando bloom runs across the road. I.P. quickly pulls out his cell phone and calls the orlando bloom squad. the capture him and take him over the carribean.Meanwhile, TZF and the Battousai, who had suddenly vanished from the scene, look around. They blink. Twice. Behind them, Renny bursts into a song about "spiffy rims, yo," and they look quizzically at him. He says: "Check those spiffy rims, yo!" They stare in amazement.Then, they turn around at the sound of an explosion. A one storie building is on fire, and a huge sliding glass door is keeping them from getting out. Two SWAT team members look at the chief, one holding a huge chain gun, one holding a two foot ladder. The one with the chain gun calls out "Pick me! PICK ME! Im highly trained!" The chief looks at him, then looks at the other SWAT member, "You, with the two foot ladder! Its up to YOU to save the day!" Ryu comes around the corner, looks up at the burning building"KEWL" then he leaves and finds Renny and the other and then sees a fine a** girl with a big a** and says "Go on wit ya big a**! lemme see something!" then she goes up to him and slaps"just kidding" then she gives him a nice kiss and her number. Ryu looks at the rest who jaws were dropped and look at him in amazement"How u like that guys" then Ryu walks away whistling.TZF sighs, and pulls out the dagger of time, and flicks a switch on it. Time slows, then starts to go backwards. .sdrawkcab og ot strats neht ,swols emiT .ti no hctiws a skcilf dna ,emit fo reggad eht tuo sllup dna ,shgis FZT .gniltsihw yawa uyR neht "syug taht ekil u woH"tnemezama ni mih ta kool dna deppord erw swaj ohw tser eht ta skool uyR .rebmun reh dna ssik ecin a mih sevig ehs neht "gniddik tsuj"spals dna mih ot pu seog ehs nneeehhhtttt.....then she goes up to him and slaps him. Hard. After reality kicks in and the laws of friction are applied to ryu from the hand "fine a** girl with a big a**", Everyone laughs at Ryu. The guy with the two foot ladder suddenly realises that he has been chosen to save the day. "What? Me? The... the... the DAY? Gee! Thanks, mister! You wont be dissapointed!" The guy with the two foot ladder then proceeds to battle the evil croussant pixies that are plauging the world. The man then comes face to face with the evil man that is in charge of the croussant pixies, the... BAKERY MANAGER! The Bakery manager swings at two-foot-ladder-man man with a rolling pin, and he ducks, narrowly missed! Two-foot-ladder-man swings the ladder at the bakery manager, and the bakery manager leaps back and calls upon the bakery ninjas! DUN-dun dun... Renny looks at his clock. Its 3 hours later than it was 3 hours ago. Ohmishit. Renny walks outside, and sees spiderman swing a web, and land. Renny walks to spiderman. (Note: The next part of the passage may be offending to thug-gangstas.) "Sup mah homie?!" They do a little gangsta hand shake, "Nuttin, dogg!!" Renny looks at spidermans mask, which has a hole, "Looks like some popo popped a cap in yo a**!" Spiderman takes off his mask, and his faced is replaced by a blur "s**t, son! Dat shits wack!" Renny looks at spiderman, then looks behind him "Damn, showtie! Its dem gangsta homedoggs from da hizzy! Dey back fo yo crib!" Spiderman looks at renny "Dis is a job fo da Po-po*! Im ditchin!" Renny looks at Spiderman "I got ya covered, slick! Let me get da phone!" Renny calls da Po-po (Police) "This is the Manhattan police. How may we be of assistance?" Renny raises his voice "Get off yo a** and make yo way to da hizzy up herr, yo! De's gangsta homeslices wanna come and put a gap in spiderman's face!" The Po-po suddenly raise their voice "s**t, son! We be gettin our cheese-sandwhiches* (police cars) Out derr now! Mercy!" Renny looks at spiderman. The police are coming. "Why dont you kick the s**t out of them now so when the police come the people of New York will think you saved the day just in time." Spiderman looks at Renny "Sure thing." Renny walks off, then Ryu runs towards him. "Renny! Renny! You wouldn't believe this! I just got this girls phone number, and then it felt like I lived it again, and she slapped me REALLY hard instead. Now, I cant find her phone number..." Renny looks at him then laughs, then holds out a piece of paper with a phone number "Heh heh heh." Ryu looks at him and his jaw drops. "No. ********. Way." Renny looks at him "Yes way." Ryu snatches the paper and runs away yelling "Success!" TZF comes behind Renny and looks at him "What was that about?" Renny looks at him "I gave him a number for Pizza-Hut." TZF looks confused "He thought it was the girls number?" Renny looks at him "Even though it said 'Pizza Hut' In huge bold print at the top? Yeah.." TZF looks at Renny "Wanna get coffee?" Renny looks at him "Sure." Ryu starts to dial the number on the paper "Yes! Finally, I" "This is Pizza Hut, how may I help you?" Ryu looks confused "Can...?" "Excuse me? Sir? Madam? Any pizza.. for... aww..." Ryu looks at the phone "They hung up on me? Oh well." Renny and TZF are in the Coffee shop, and they are sipping their coffee. Renny looks at TZF "I know Spiderman." Tzf looks up, then looks down. "I know Superman." Renny looks back at him "I know God." TZF looks up again. "I know your Ex-girlfriend." Renny looks at TZF "You do?" TZF smiles "No." Suddenly, 3 criminals come in, and pull out guns "All your coffee beans are belong to us!" Then, Ryu comes through a window, and raises his hand, forming his sword "Leave this to me." Renny looks at him, then turns around "Stand back, amigo, this is a job, for the ANTI-CHRIST!" Renny shoots them with a death ray from his coffee cup. They die. TZF and Ryu look at him "Anti-Christ?" Renny looks at him "It scares all the religions that have God and Lucifer included in them." TZF and Ryu look at him "But your Christian..." Renny looks at them "I know." Suddenly, one of the trees outside catch on fire, Implode, and sucks all the souls out of any living thing near it. Then, It flies into the atmosphere, causing it to explode. The people become zombies, and get up and eat the flesh of the living. "Yommy!" Renny looks at Ryu, who looks at TZF, who looks at Renny. TZF twitches "Why did we just do that?" Ryu looks at him I dont know" They go outside, and poke the zombies with sticks. The zombies heads fly. Ryu looks at Renny "Damn, that was fun!" then, a zombie head comes flying towards him and he does te matrix. Renny looks at him "Wow." TZF laughs "Easy." Ryu looks at him "Easy?" TZF smiles "Cheese." Suddenly, Collin runs along and sees a zobie, then sticks out his middle finger, points at the zombie and shoots a death ray. Zap. It dies. Renny turns around to look at Collin, and Collin runs away "Quick! To the batmobile!" Renny follows him and jumps in the batmobile "Where are we going?" Collin looks at him "We have to destroy the evil twisted policeman that punches heads!" Renny looks at him "Okay!" The batmobile drives off. Ryu looks at TZF "What do we do now?" TZF sits down "Wait." Ryu sits down as well, then pulls out some coffee "Coffee?" TZF looks at him "No thanks." Meamnwhile, Spiderman is in the coffee shop, and is sipping his coffee, when he hears something. The camera goes whack, and zooms in on the donuts. There is one left. And a pedestrian is reaching for it. Spiderman whispers to himself "My spider-senses are tingling" He quickly turns around, "THE LAST DONUT!" He shoots his web at the donut pile. He grabs the donut, slings it back, then chews on it. The day is ruined for that guy. Ryu looks at TZF, then lies down "Where are those two?" TZF looks at him "I dont know." Suddenly, DPR comes up from the ground, and looks at them. "Hello." TZF gives him the lazy eye "Where have you been?" Ryu looks at him "Judging by where he came from, he's been in hell." DPR smiles, then sits next to TZF "How did you guess?" Ryu turns over, and picks some grass. TZF quickly turns around "I wouldnt do that" Ryu laughs "Why?" TZF looks at DPR, who looks at Ryu "I wouldnt do it.." Ryu looks at them "Whats gonna happen?" at that very instant, a man runs over, and points his finger at Ryu "HEY! THAT KIDS PICKIN' THE GRASS!" When he says this, everybody around them quickly turn around, stop what their doing, and point at Ryu "GET HIM!" Ryu runs like hell. The people chase him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:19 pm
Quote: DPR gets up. "I'll help him out" DPR does some enchated crazy mumbo-jumbo, and summons his Lord Satan. "Kill them!" Satan blows them all up, and their gore goes everywhere. Ryu's eyes widen, and he looks at DPR "Freaky..." DPR smiles "I know." TZF looks at them both "Cookie?" DPR and Ryu laugh "Yes." Collin and Renny get out of the batmobile, and walk down an alleyway. There is a policeman. He is punching a head. Collin points at him with his middle finger "Okay! Time to stop punching heads, you head puncher!" Renny looks confused "Yeah.. uh.. Stop?" The policeman turns around "NEVAH! NOW YOOS DIE!" Collin jumps in the air "ACTIVATE SPOOCHIE POWER ARMOR!" Renny watches Collin transform into the robot armor thing "Wow." Collin lands, and pulls out a beam cannon "DIE, HEAD PUNCHING DOOKIE COVERED MOOSE ZOMBIE!" Collin pulls the trigger. Zap. He gets blown into the wall, his head is not there. Blood covers the wall. Collin transforms back. "Quickly! To the batmobile! We must get back!" Renny jumps in the batmobile with Collin. They drive off. Ryu is eating a cookie, and then stands up "My spider-senses tell me that there is an evil do-er nearby! This is a job for....Me!" Ryu grabs his clothes, and rips them off. Ryu is now! Ryu. With different colored clothes. "Whoosh!" He runs into the bank. There is a stick up. Ryu looks at the criminal "Stop at once!" The criminal looks at him "Never!" Ryu sticks his middle finger out, and shoots a beam of death at him. He dies. Ryu walks away. TZF looks at DPR, who looks at the batmobile drive onto the grass. There is a matrix style camera angle. Sweet. Renny gets out. "Wow. That was fast." Collin looks at him "Its the batmobile, what do you expect?" Renny looks at TZF "Do you have any cookies?" TZF pulls out a cookie. Renny eats it. "Yommy." DPR looks at the sky. "Grargh." Ryu gets back, and sits down "What was that for?" DPR smiles "I dont know." Collin looks at his watch "Its time for me to go. I need to go save the day, tomorrow! At China!" Collin flys off. Ryu looks at him "I wish I could do that." Neo looks at Morpheus. Morpheus smiles "Now, Neo, you must jump this across this gap. From skyscraper to skyscraper." Neo looks at him confused "I cant do that!" Morpheus looks at him, smiles, and runs. He jumps of the edge of the building, and soars all the way to the other one, and lands on his feet. He turns around, and grins "Come, Neo." Neo frowns, then walks to the edge of the building. He looks down. "Wow." He walks back, then gets into a running position. He rubs his hands together, and starts to run to the edge. He trips off the edge, and falls "AUUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!" Suddenly, Neo has a flashback of when he is fighting Morpheus in the Japanese room.."Neo, this is the Matrix. You can bend the rules, even break them" Suddenly, Neo has an idea. He quickly turns upright in the air, moves his hands out in front of him, and shoots to webs, and wings onto the top of the other building. He lands on two feet. Renny looks at Ryu "I want coffee." Then, A Barney mascot walks over to an interviewer and the interviewer puts the microphone to his mouth "So, Barney, do you like children?" Barney smiles and looks at him "I love children! They are cute and stay crunchy in milk!"then a small child walks on Barney's tail accidently while barney was walking and he tripped.then he gets up "watch where u walk u ******** little pathetic excuse of a half b***h!" then the kid starts to cry "NO! please dont cry kid um here" barney makes him ballon animals and gives him lots of candy. but he still crys. so barney starts to eat him! he looks back at the mascot and says"there crunchy like i said!then Ryu and Renny look at each other bewilderd then barney mutates into a huge dinosaur and starts rampaging around eating buildings and people. then Ryu and Renny jump and soar to him and Ryu goes around to his back. then their one of their arms transforms into Angel arm and blast a huge beam at barney from each side and they go through his front and back.the barney explodes like a nuclear bomb then Renny and Ryu's arms change to normal and go at get coffee! then they go to the beach to find everybody!Renny pokes his arm "What the ******** just happened?" then Renny and Ryu walk off an try to find coffee.TZF pops his head out, and looks confused.[Note: The story died for about two years, untill one day, when suddenly...] DPR bursts out of a spatial anomaly with all sorts of oddities: a small pet spirit from Kamigawa, several rounds of exploding buckshot, the first draft of Linear B: The Subliminal Message, membership cards for every guild in Ravnica, sunglasses, one of those communicators they use on Voyager, another identical communicator, a surfboard, a pair of skis, the common application, a swimsuit, a big fat cuban cigar, a suitcase probably made from somebody else covered with stickers from such exotic destinations as October Revolution Island, Spitzbergen, Paris, China, Venice, Tailand, Tibet, Germany, Iceland, a walking stick and several rather provocatively dressed maidens on leashes. With a grin, he surveys the site. "what have ye foolish mortals been doing? Fret ye not, for these young slave-maidens be consenting adults, so if ye be of the DCF then I say to ye, there be fish bigger for ye to fry!" After playing around with his maidens, several black vans, jeeps, trucks, APCs, helicopters and tanks surround DPR completely. A man in a suit jumps out of the lead vehicle with a megaphone "allright DPR, we know that they're underage, so hand them over before we reduce you to particles!" With a disgusted look, DPR spits on the man "Ye foolf! Dare ye interfere with mine own entertainment?!? For thif, thou fhalt fuffer a Truly Terrible Demife! Fatan! Difpofe of thefe DCF wormf!" with that, the ground parts and Satan emerges to fufill DPRs bidding. Waves of physcedelic flames consume the DCF force and remove it from the game. DPR gains X +3/+3 counters, where X is the number of DCF creatures removed from the game this way and Satan is shuffled back into DPRs library.
"Mwahahaha ha! how truly appeafing. Now, my dearf, let uf venture into the depthf of the foreft yonder and flaughter all Formf of Life we may encounter."
Suddenly all of DPRs lolis disappear with muffled yelps. DPR looks about but can't find what's taking his beloved lolis. "What manner of magic be thif? Myne lolif difappeareth before myne eyef!" It was at that fateful moment that the feared DCF paladins burst into the forest in a fearsome charge toward DPR amidst a withering hail of enchanted arrows. DPR stares at the commanding paladin who wields The Magic Sword. "Alaf! 'Tif the legendary Magic Fword! Thefe treacherouf DCF houndf have foundeth the blade that might Very Well Fmite Me! Worfe yet, thefe accurf'd arrowf doth fhatter myne concentration and prevent me from cafting even The Weakeft Fpell!!! I am outnumber'd, outarm'd and yea I can do not but admit it, Caught Witheth Myne Pantf Down!"
Just then, DPR realized that the constant barrage of enchanted missles was creating an anti-magic barrier. "I do believe there may yet be hope! Iffeth I might outrun thefe accurf'd arrowf, I may very well caft fuch fpellf af Hafte and Other Fuch Fpellf to increafe my fpeed fo I may outrun their blafted cavalry on the open plainf outfide thefe treacherouf woodf!" With that, DPR uses pure jungle survival skillz to stay ahead of the anti-magic shell. Eventually, DPR manages to get out of the range of the archers and into the plains surrounding the forest. DPR is about to cast Haste when he notices Hercules riding Pegasus almost in front of him. "Ha! Fortune doth fmile upon me at laft!" With that, DPR plays Dark Banishing targeting Hercules. He dies and can't be regenerated. DPR leaps on Pegasus and rides off into the distance just as the DCF paladins emerge from the forest. "Curse that fool! Yet again he has eluded our grasp. This, however, will be the last time. We must ride back to Isengard and wait for him there where we will vanquish him once and for all!" One of the newer recruits looks up at his general quizzicaly "He will never come to Isengard. I thought that was why we ambushed him here." The general laughs "I have known DPR for many years. He would fight gods to save his lolis. This ambush was solely meant to capture his lolis so we can draw him to our gates. Come now, we're taking the lolis to Isengard!" Not too far off, Legolas, Aragon and company are in hot pursuit of the orcs that have taken the hobbits when Legolas makes a startling discovery" They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" After DPR rides far across the kingdom, he decides to sleep for a while "Alaf, the Fatigue of a Hard Ride haf caughteth up to mynself. I am therefore refolv'd to reft in thif place." DPR closes his eyes and almost instantly there is a dream sequence....
DPR is seen riding Pegasus fast across the kingdom toward a huge desert. There is an ancient city in the center buried deep beneath the desert and DPR sees himself venturing into the depths of the lost city. There is a man dressed in a white robe holding a guitar. Their eyes lock and DPR is bathed in light. There is a flash and DPR and the man with a guitar ride out once again towards a huge black castle. A banner with three white runes stands where another flag used to fly. DPR and the robed figure try to get past the gates but they will not budge. A mighty hammer flies from the sky and reduces the gate to rubble. A grinning figure riding a sparking chariot appears. The three charge the castle. DPR fights his way to the tallest keep and there is an all too familiar figure wielding The Magic Sword. The familiar man swings the blade at DPR but instead of slaying him instantly, The Magic Sword bounces harmlessly out of the figures reach and falls to the floor. The figure smiles wickedly and there is a wave of flames that choke out everything. Then DPR stands amidst the smouldering ruins of the castle before a massive dragon. Screams of anguish come from the floor and the dragon laughs cruelly before incinerating the distracted DPR.
Then DPR wakes up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:20 pm
Quote: "Aha! On myne prophetic soul, I declare I have feen a prophecy! I cannot yet fully comprehend the meaning, but perhapf my querief will be anfwered by the man who dwellf in the deepeft catacombf of the loft city in the defert!" DPR swiftly mounts Pegasus and rides fast across the land to find the city buried deep beneath the sand. "Thofe foolf will pay dearly for their interference in myne pleafure!"
Just as the sun sets, DPR finally arrives at the edge of the desert. Pegasus makes annoyed horse noises so DPR dismounts. "Perhapf myne fteed if unaccuftomed to fuch alien localef af we now face. I muft findeth thif man in the loft city mynefelf." DPR walks to the center of the desert. About halfway there, the sun rises "Alaf! I muft walk beneath the harfh glare of the defert fun!!!" DPR picks up the pace and manages to reach the buried city before midday. DPR procedes cautiously into the city, using prince of persia style skill to avoid all the long falls, collapsing bridges and column jumping. Finally, DPR stands before a holy- looking man holding one hell of a guitar. "Whoa dude... you must be here to like fufill the prophecy, right?" DPR nods "Then like you totally need to bow down before me!" DPR looks at the man with disgust "Who doth thou thinketh thou art?!?!??!? I bow for no man!"
"Dude, I'm like totally not a man at all."
"What art thou then, thou ftrange creature?"
"I'm the Heavy Metal Jesus!" With these words, a thunderous riff fills the room and the walls crack. DPR falls to his knees out of sheer amazement. "Then you muft forgive myne arrogance, Heavy Metal Jesus! Forgive me, and bleffeth me fo that I fhall fufill myne prophecy!" Heavy Metal Jesus does just that and fills DPRs heart with steel. The two then take a secret passage out of the city. After a while the passage branches off into two paths. The two go right only to run into Boromir. "One does not simply take a secret passage to Mordor!" HMJ and DPR look at eachother, shrug, turn back and take the other path. They are underground for many days and many nights but finally they emerge on the edge of a forest facing Isengard. "Dude look, it's Isengard. You think the dragon is really in there?"
"Of courfe! It waf reveal'd to me in the prophecy!"
"Wait up dude. Where's The Magic Sword? You like totally can't kill the dragon without it."
"In myne prophecy, I did fee a paladin infide thif place who wielded it 'gainft me, for the fame blade forg'd to kill the dragon waf forg'd to kill my kind af well!"
"Far out man. Let's go get the sword then!"
DPR then bumps into Legolas "pardon me sir, have you seen any orcs carrying hobbits?" "why doft thou enquire thif of me?" "They've taken the hobbits to Isengard!" "It appeareth we fhare a Common Goal, for they've taken my lolif to Isengard!" With that, Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli join DPR and HMJ. As they get nearer to Isengard, Legolas makes another discovery- "Look to the battlements! The white hand of Sauroman no longer flies here! In its place, there is a banner of the DCF. Have they taken this place?" With that, a hail of arrows flies at the group who swiftly fall back. "Curfef! Thefe blafted mortalf knew I waf coming. We have no choice now; we muft charge and Attempt To Breach The Gatef!" DPR, HMJ, Legolas, Aragon and Gimli charge Isengard. They nimbly dodge seeming endless hails of projectiles and before too long, they stand before the gates. Except for Gimli. He rushes the gates because he's cool like that. "Arrr! These gates are impervious! How did you expect ta breach the gates without siege weaponry, wise guy?!??!?" DPR smiles and looks over his shoulder and as if on cue a huge hammer flies toward the door and reduces it to smoldering rubble. A tall man riding a chariot giving off electricity appears from the sky. He has several more throwing hammers on his belt and a massive double handed maul he deftly wields with one hand. He calls out in an almost operatic voice "I am Thor the Thunder God!!!!" Gimli almost drops his axe out of amazement. Aragorn calls out to the group "Prepare yourselves! Soldiers on horseback are charging us!" DPR looks grimly at the approaching horsemen "Thofe be no ordinary riderf. Nay, they are Paladinf Of The DCF. Fear'd by all who know their wrath, they be a force of terrible power." Legolas whips out his bow and fires a hurricane of arrows at the paladins until DPR stops him "Fave thyne arrowf, fool! Even the fineft arrow fhall not pierce their armour. We muft feek to beft them in Clofe Combat!" HMJ pulls out his mythical guitar and places his hands on it as if he were about to play a riff that would part the Red Sea. "Dudes, dudes, dudes! These shiny freaks' luck just like totally ran out! I'll clear us like a path, just like totally stay behind me!". The party gets behind HMJ, who looks up to the skies. Then, angel chicks carry down two speakers almost as tall as the walls of Isengard and place them on either side of HMJ. The DCF paladins slow down as if considering the consequences of hauling a** back inside the main castle. Before they can leave, however, HMJ rips a power chord so loud the earth cracks and the DCF paladins are blasted out of Isengard by the shock waves. Their corpses makes really funny noises when they hit the ground several hundred thousand feet away. Some even make craters. DPR is the first to continue the charge. He starts to go up to the top floor of Isengard but then has a flashback of his prophecy. Instead, he leads the party down into the lower parts of Isengard. Under Sauromon, the lower parts had been converted to furnaces to make weaponry for his army. Under the DCF, these furnaces had been turned into "housing" for "abused girls". The whole complex looked suspiciously like a dungeon. "Juft what be thefe fiendf up to?" DPR sets about freeing all of his lolis. They were very eager to see him and the younger ones even started to cry as they were reunited. DPR masterfully soothed and coaxed them to follow HMJ and Thor to safety. Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli took their leave from DPR to go find the hobbits. DPR then began his epic charge up to the top floor of Isengard to defeat the leader of the DCF Paladins, slay the dragon and fufill the prophecy. The fight up the tower is far from easy as all the DCF Paladins seem to be crammed into it but with the blessing of steel, DPR endures countless blows. "Thif battle be a blood bath! I doth verily enjoy it!" Finally DPR bursts into the top floor to see his hated foe, the DCF Paladin Commander. "At last we come face to face, Dark Prophet. I trust you liked my dungeon, eh?My men and I kept good care of your precious lolis." DPR emits a low growl "Thou beaft... thou treacherouf leacherouf beaft..." "you and I aren't so different you know. Except, of course, I can get away with what you do. And one of us is about to die!" in one fluid movement, the commander draws The Magic Sword, leaps at DPR and attempts to thrust the blade deep into him. However, thanks to the Blessing of Steel, the legendary weapon bounces off DPR and clatters to the ground. "WHAT?!??!!?!??!? You of all people, the chosen one?!?" DPR grins at him and picks up the blade. It seems to resonate with DPR and a glorious light bathes the room. "Behold ye beftial mortal for I am the chofen one! Now ftandeth ye afide, for I muft feek the dragon who doth be here! I fhalt fettle our fcore after I finifh with the dragon." The commander chuckles lightly, then throws back his head and laughs evilly. "Fool! I had expected to fight you as a criminal violating the laws of the DCF and I had expected to fight the chosen one. But I had certainly not expected you to be the chosen one!" With that and another wild laugh the commander transforms into the dragon. DPR gasps in amazement and readies himself to fufill the prophecy...
TO BE CONTINUED!
After staring eachother down for months, the dragon and DPR wrench themselves free from clingy cobwebs and charge forward at each other. DPR raises The Magic Sword high over his head as the dragon pulls his own head back to unleash an inferno. DPR goes for a mighty swing that could cleave mountains but suddenly the dragon lashes out at DPR with a scaly fist slamming him into a wall! The dragon prepares to exhale a fiery death for our assistant manager! ALTER EGO TIME!1!!one!!1! Miles away at the Church of the Machine where "Law" is manufactured for the people of the world, The Cheddar King comes into existance inside of a cyborg, splitting the cyborg right down the middle! Gunner and Random chick burst in through a stained glass window and the trio rush the Altar CPU!!!
"Bwahahaha!!!! At last we have have found the Altar CPU! Once I destroy this, well... ummm" Cheddar King trails off, only to be saved by gunner: " destruction of Altar CPU will result mass unpredictability, disorder and chaos as Altar CPU manufactures "Law" ".
"Well I suppose that's a good thing! Lets go!!! Bwahahahaha!!!!!11!!" replies Cheddar King as he unleashes a hail of instant-kill attacks on the guards who suddenly appear to stop them. Gunner arms the completed weapon "project A769 Beta (INFINITY)", a ridiculously enormous laser cannon capable of eradicating entire galaxies. Random chick bakes a cake in between periods of kicking a**.
OH NO!!! WILL DPR BE ABLE TO SLAY THE DRAGON AND FUFILL THE PROPHECY? WILL DPR'S ALTER EGO AND HIS TWO COMPANIONS DESTROY THE ALTAR CPU AND END "LAW" ALTOGETHER? AND WHAT OF THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THIS WEBSITE? WILL THEY ADD TO THIS FIC OR HAVE THEY BEEN BANISHED TO THE SHADOWY REALM OF OBCURITY FOREVER? ONLY TIME WILL TELL!
Suddenly, the world went black. Ryu looked at the TV, which had only just so recently shown his epic progress on his new game, "Loli Haet Quest." He stared at the screen harder, hoping that somehow, his staring would turn the power back on, and he would still have his progress, which he had, unfortunetely, not saved. He shifted his gaze down towards the console. The power button was still in the on position, but nothing was happening. His worst fear had been confirmed. The power was, indeed, off. He let out a great sigh, then pulled out some ridiculously intense power out of his a**, and destroyed the world in a very nonchalant way.
Does it get any more emo then that? Yes. Yes it does.
Elsewhere, in one of the deep plot holes in the Swedish story mines, an emo lad looked down. He was in a corner, in a room full of happy people. He wasn't happy. He wasn't happy at all. At least, he said he wasn't happy, and his tortured soul told him that this was the only true part about himself anymore. His whole existance had been made of lies and false tales.
He sighed, and folded his demonic wings of satan, which he forgot to mention in his bio.Things had obviously always been like this, and that's what made him such a good poet. The poem he had written called "The Purple Lake of Desolation," had been rejected by his school newspaper for the third time, and he didn't see why. Mostly, it was because he thought it was too good to go in, and hadn't submitted it. This one poem's lack of appreciation was reason enough for him to do what he was about to do. For some reason.
Once again from his unnacounted inventory, a knife is produced from his pocket, and he doesn't care about the sudden change in tense. He's too intense to be in tense. He looks at his wrist, suddenly over a sink in a bathroom hence unmentioned. (How did he get here? He made that post a couple pages ago. Yeah, he did. STFU, n00b. You don't know who you're messing with. *goes back a few pages and edits a post that was originally a bump* Look, see, there it is. Jackass. I posted it over ten minutes ago.) He sighs again, and remembers the good old days. (Which is kinda funny, because he stated earlier that his whole life had been bad.) He knows that there is no way to bring them back, (probably because they didn't ever leave, and he just wanted more attention) and cuts deep into his wrist.
A rush of misspelled addrenilen, and he posts something about how free it makes him feel. He dissapears for about three hours, and everyone thinks that he really did do it. It turns out that he was at dinner.
But none of that's really important to the story.
Ryu, who in this time somehow obtained a portable generator, the story of which is for another night around another fireplace, set it down upon the old woodwork next to the tv where his game was. He tried turning it on. It needed gas. He stared at it, at the rather large emblem emblazened on the otherwise blank side that was facing him. The emblem showed a pair of breasts, much to Ryu's amusement. He stood up and walked back towards the front door to go get some gas. He put his hand on the doorknob, and turned his head back once more to look at the chrome breasts across the room. Shortly after doing something sometimes reffered to as the "Texas Tuck," Ryu opens the door and heads out to find some gas.
Somehow, the street that was originally outside of Ryu's house has been replaced by a rather gaudy-looking yellow road, made of brick. He watches as some of the construction workers who so quickly installed this sheepily avoid his gaze, and shuffle away. He especially watches a crane, which he had not known were able to shuffle away, or even look sheepish.
Ryu, being the Stud that he oft describes himself as, somehow manages to get to the gas station at the end of the yellow brick road within only one scentence, also managing to kill godzilla, pick up twelve "nice a** looking girls," get a huge bag of pot from a self proclaimed 'business hippy,' and rob a Dunkin' Donuts.
He looks at the man behind the counter in the gas station with a rather menacing glare. The cashier returns the glare, and they end up having a fourty-three hour stare-off, ending in the cashier writing in pain over his dry eyes, and Ryu walking out unscathed with the gasoline and sore feet.
Ryu, upon getting back to his house, fills the generator back up, and turns it on. He realizes that it's much too loud to hear over, so he calls Chuck Noris, who comes over and gives it a round house kick. Ryu thanks Chuck Noris, and sits back down. The power comes back on, and Ryu turns the console back on, and somehow finds that he is able to skip through that first part of the game, and is back where he left off. He cursed the fact that he switched tenses.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:22 pm
And that, for now, at least, is the end. I was thinking: The SUTF should totally do something like this. cool
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:32 pm
Skiz-Erz And that, for now, at least, is the end. I was thinking: The SUTF should totally do something like this. cool
It's like he has no imagination. He just HAS TO use fact. EVERYTHING MUST CONFIRM TO ACTUAL REALITY, OR IT SUCKS. UNLESS IT'S SOME BIG NAME VIDEO GAME OR COMIC. THEN IT'S FINE, BECAUSE THE PUBLIC ACCEPTS IT.
... From the look Sorrow Just gave me, Bitterness levels have surpassed max.
As for that story, parts of it scare me. .___.;;
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:33 pm
wow
I was reading it
but there is just too much
and it is...well...not written so well
it started off kinda funny and I rather like darkprophet's writing but after half a page or so of ryu and renny's writing....I'm just too tired for it
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:35 pm
Kurokitsume Skiz-Erz And that, for now, at least, is the end. I was thinking: The SUTF should totally do something like this. cool
It's like he has no imagination. He just HAS TO use fact. EVERYTHING MUST CONFIRM TO ACTUAL REALITY, OR IT SUCKS. UNLESS IT'S SOME BIG NAME VIDEO GAME OR COMIC. THEN IT'S FINE, BECAUSE THE PUBLIC ACCEPTS IT.
... From the look Sorrow Just gave me, Bitterness levels have surpassed max.
As for that story, parts of it scare me. .___.;;*puts his arm aroudn kuro and pats him on the back* it'll be alright Ani won't be bothering you with reality tonight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:36 pm
spork_kun Kurokitsume Skiz-Erz And that, for now, at least, is the end. I was thinking: The SUTF should totally do something like this. cool
It's like he has no imagination. He just HAS TO use fact. EVERYTHING MUST CONFIRM TO ACTUAL REALITY, OR IT SUCKS. UNLESS IT'S SOME BIG NAME VIDEO GAME OR COMIC. THEN IT'S FINE, BECAUSE THE PUBLIC ACCEPTS IT.
... From the look Sorrow Just gave me, Bitterness levels have surpassed max.
As for that story, parts of it scare me. .___.;;*puts his arm aroudn kuro and pats him on the back* it'll be alright Ani won't be bothering you with reality tonight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:42 pm
spork_kun wow I was reading it but there is just too much and it is...well...not written so well it started off kinda funny and I rather like darkprophet's writing but after half a page or so of ryu and renny's writing....I'm just too tired for it Dark prophet, funnily enough, was the oldest, and went on to major in English. And Magic the Gathering. -_-;; But yeah, it makes no sense, and the writing sucks.. That's kinda the point. xD the last chapter and ahalf aren't bad, though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:45 pm
Skiz-Erz spork_kun wow I was reading it but there is just too much and it is...well...not written so well it started off kinda funny and I rather like darkprophet's writing but after half a page or so of ryu and renny's writing....I'm just too tired for it Dark prophet, funnily enough, was the oldest, and went on to major in English. And Magic the Gathering. -_-;; But yeah, it makes no sense, and the writing sucks.. That's kinda the point. xD the last chapter and ahalf aren't bad, though. the first part (the part up until the red starts) I really like...sounds kinda like a terry pratchett book
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:54 pm
I SWEAR THAT I WILL READ THE WHOLE THING gonk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:55 pm
spork_kun the first part (the part up until the red starts) I really like...sounds kinda like a terry pratchett book If you think that's Terry Pratchett-eque, you should see one of the shorter ones that just DPR and I did... there were parts when we were almost quoting directly. In fact, I believe that we did quote direcly. o_o;;
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
