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 Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 11:52 am
Takes place after Just you and me
It had only been maybe six hours.
He didn’t want to get up. He was curled up with Kaelan, although that wasn’t surprising, but the mattress was unreasonably comfortable. The sheets needlessly smooth and soft. And the blankets weren’t so warm that they were stifling. It helped that the air conditioning had been lowered in the room to the mid sixties.
“I swear to god if it’s Jett--” he growled and pried himself away from Kaelan’s warmth. He snatched up one of the robes that had been left for them, throwing it over his arms and tying it at the waist as he stomped over to the door and--
Oh… there was no one there. But waiting outside was a tray and domed cover.
Orien crouched down in front of it, sniffling suspiciously at the air. When he didn’t sense anything offensive, he cautiously reached out to peek under the lid.
Huh…
“Jett sent us breakfast,” he announced as he carried the tray back inside, kicking the door unceremoniously closed with his foot, quickly abandoning the dome, and was already chewing on one of the sausage links before he set the tray on the bed. He doubted Kaelan would have slept through him pulling away from him.
With the tray of food momentarily abandoned, Orien moved to Kaelan’s side, leaning down to press a kiss at his temple and stroking his hand through his long silver hair.
“How are you feeling?”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 2:27 pm
Kaelan might have slept for the whole morning but he startled awake at the noise. He remembered they were in the hotel room. He remembered last night. He remembered Orien was there with him.
He forgot he couldn’t see.
There was a brief moment of panic when he sat up and couldn’t see, and he opened his mouth to express a fluttery breath in lieu of worry. He’d remembered before the words could fall from his lips but he had to blindly grope around for his robe. He couldn’t find it, so instead he just laid back down and pressed his face into the pillow while drawing the sheet up to cover him.
It wouldn’t buy him much time but he could hear Orien making his way around the room so he could guess where he was. Kaelan squeezed his eyes shut and willed something to be different when he opened them this time.
“I’m good,” he said, reaching up to rub at his eyes gently. They were sore in a way he wasn’t quite sure how to describe. He liked the way Orien was combing through his hair so he didn’t try to sit up again. “What time is it? Do we need to start packing up soon?”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:13 pm
With Kaelan hiding under the sheets as he was, Orien didn’t try to get him to sit up. Not yet at least. Instead, he continued to brush gently at his hair and pepper the top of his head with kisses.
“Nah, Jett would have gotten us a late checkout,” he promised, and if he didn’t, well… he should have known better. The guy was rich enough to afford any fee they were charged for overstaying their welcome.
“He knows we’re helpless. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up to help us get checked out, anyway.”
He didn’t want Kaelan to worry. He didn’t want him thinking about things that he could handle. He might have been pretty useless for most things, but he thought he was pretty reliable in a pinch.
If they were desperate.
Which they kind of were.
“Are you hungry at all?” he asked as he squinted at the clock on the table next to the bed. “It’s almost nine. Maybe Jett will let us extend our stay,” he scoffed, but was half-serious. He didn’t want to leave. Not when he could tell Kaelan wasn’t feeling his best.
Orien wanted to ask about his eyes. He wanted to make sure he could see. But he also didn’t want to upset Kaelan if he couldn’t. And since Kaelan didn’t mention anything… Orien assumed he could still only see darkness.
So he sighed and leaned over his boyfriend, squishing him a bit as he wrapped his arms around him and the sheets.
“I love you. You’re beautiful. We’ll be okay,” he murmured, and then pressed more kisses to the back of Kaelan’s head.
A pause and then a grimace, “Except all my meds are back home. Ah… it’s fine, we’ll head home in a few hours. It won’t change much.” He hoped.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:13 pm
“Oh,” Kaelan said. It wasn’t like him to forget things, but as soon as Orien said it, it seemed to snap him into awareness. “No, we should go get those. I don’t want to mess up your schedule. I’m sorry,” he said, carefully pushing himself back into a seated position. He didn’t try to find his robe; he didn’t want Orien to see him have to look with his hands. Kaelan didn’t really like being shirtless. He trusted Orien, he was comfortable around him!
Kaelan just felt better when he could feel the fabric hanging from his skin. He was in an unfamiliar place and couldn’t see. Not even a spark. His stomach flopped but he had to forcibly remind himself It hasn’t even been twelve hours. Calm down.
He wanted to stay in bed, wanted to eat whatever breakfast Jett had sent over, wanted to sleep for a few more hours, wanted to enjoy the electricity and air conditioning.
He didn’t want Jett thinking they were helpless, even if–maybe–they were. The thought made his stomach churn.
He didn’t want Orien’s health or stability to be threatened. Maybe Kalean was a little paranoid about keeping to the rigidity of their schedule but even small deviations could have a big ripple effect–and Orien was working so hard. He didn’t want to mess all of that up. He wanted to lay here, squished by Orien, pretending like they lived a life of luxury.
“We should eat and get out of here,” he said, trying to sound like he wasn’t already dreading walking across town, or climbing all those stairs, or being in an apartment that undoubtedly wasn't going to have working water or electricity.
“Are you hungry? You must be, you’ve been working so hard. How are you feeling, are you okay?” he asked, letting his palm slide over the surface of the bed as he sought out Orien’s hand. He kept his eyes closed for the moment, holding up the sheet to his chest with his other hand.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:14 pm
Kaelan didn’t have to search for his robe. Orien already had his hand on it, and gently reached for Kaelan’s hand to guide it through the opening for the first sleeve. He adjusted it over Kaelan’s back, steady and patient, until Kaelan found the over sleeve himself.
“There,” he said quietly, brushing his hand once more across Kaelan’s shoulders and leaning close to press a kiss to his hair before letting go. “You’re good.”
He wanted to argue with him about leaving. Wanted to tell him it could wait, that his meds weren’t urgent, that they could steal another hour in the cold, quiet safety of this too fancy hotel room. But Kaelan had that tone… the one Orien knew meant the decision had already been made and arguing would just make him feel worse.
So Orien didn’t.
Instead, he dropped back onto the bed beside him with a soft grunt, sitting cross legged in nothing but his own robe, and grabbed another piece of food off the tray. A bite of toast and a strip of bacon. He shoved both into his mouth to chew as he stabbed a sausage link with a fork and dipped it in some of the syrup. He took Kaelan’s hand to squeeze, but released it so he could place the fork in his palm.
“Sausage is good. Little spicy, so I fixed it,” he said around his mouthful. He was trying to be casual about it, to not draw attention to the fact that he could tell Kaelan still couldn’t see anything.
“If we get home and the power’s still out, we’ll figure something out. Maybe I can steal a generator on our way out the door or something,” he huffed, but kept his eyes on Kaelan as he spoke. It didn’t take long for him to add, “Kidding. Mostly.”
He watched how Kaelan held tightly to the sheet, the way he didn’t move around too much or jump out of bed. Orien frowned and placed a comforting hand on Kaelan’s leg through the sheets.
“You don’t have to pretend for me, you know. I know this is s**t. You don’t have to hide it. But we’ve got this, okay? I’ve got you. I’ve been paying attention. Learned a few things -- what with you always taking care of me and all.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:15 pm
There were a dozen things Kaelan wanted to thank Orien for. Helping him get into his robe, reassuring him, being so gentle with him, helping him with the fork. Kaelan’s shoulders slumped a little; he’d pulled the robe close and stayed under the blanket. It felt better to be clothed but it was hard to say any of this felt comfortable.
The bed, maybe. He wished he could enjoy the luxury of it.
He didn’t speak for as long as Orien was talking–or moving. In the absence of seeing Orien, Kaelan needed to hear.
Orien knew he couldn’t see, obviously. He was being so gentle. So thoughtful.
It wasn’t fair to Orien; he was already juggling so much. He shouldn’t have to do this, too.
“I’m not pretending,” he said, but he didn’t sound confident. He wasn’t lying–wasn’t trying to lie. He wanted to believe that things were okay. He didn’t want Orien to see him fall apart. He didn’t want to put that burden on him. And when Orien inevitably forgot what was wrong but was left with heavy emotions he didn’t understand? That wasn’t fair to him, either.
“I’m just…” Kaelan didn’t know the words. He guided the fork to his lips and ate the sausage in a single bite but held the fork awkwardly afterwards. It was only after he chewed and swallowed that he managed, “I’m still waking up.”
No, he didn’t want Orien to think he was lying to him. Kaelan hunched forward a little more, planting his elbow on his knees as he crossed his legs beneath the blankets. He held the fork limply in one hand and rubbed at his eyes again with his other hand, like he could massage sight back into them.
“...I don’t want you to steal a generator, that sounds like so much work. We can afford one, I have money set aside,” he justified, because he did. He was saving it for an emergency. “I’m just trying to–you’re working so hard,” he interrupted himself. “I love you, you’re so good to me. I’m so sorry.” But then, he didn’t want Orien to worry, so he started over quickly to say, “We’ll be okay. I’m just trying to–I’m not sure where to–I mean, I have to figure–”
A thousand different thoughts shot into his head at once; he rubbed his eyes a little harder and had to force himself to take slow, even breaths. He couldn’t. “It’ll work out,” he said quickly. “It’ll all be fine. It is fine. It’s fine.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:15 pm
Orien stayed quiet while Kaelan talked. Well… while he tried to talk. He didn’t interrupt when the words got all tangled, didn’t flinch when Kaelan rubbed at his eyes like he could bring the world back into sharper focus -- or bring light back into them at all. Orien let him speak. He let the silence linger when it needed to, because sometimes it was the only way to get through it.
It was when the first “it’s fine” came -- then again and again like a lifeline slipping away -- Orien leaned in and gently removed the fork from Kaelan’s hands before it could fall. His own were trembling slightly, but it was so common that it didn’t even bother him. He managed to grip the fork tight enough that he didn’t drop it until he could set it down on the tray.
And then he shifted closer. He pulled Kaelan’s hands down from his face and gently, insistently, laced their fingers together.
“Hey,” he said, voice low but steady. “It’s not fine. It’s not. And that’s okay.” Orien looked at him, despite knowing that Kaelan couldn’t see him back, but still… his gaze never wavered.
“You don’t have to twist yourself into pieces trying to make it easier for me. I’m already in this. I’ve been in this. With you. It’s okay if you don’t know what to say, or if you feel like s**t, or if you need a minute to breathe. I got time.”
He gave Kaelan’s hands a firm squeeze, and then released them so he could wrap his arms around him instead, drawing him close.
“And you don’t have to be sorry for needing help. I’ve needed help. A lot of it. And you were always there. So now it’s my turn. That’s all it is. I love you, and that’s what this is.”
He smoothed his hand down Kaelan’s back, stroking his hair, placed little kisses on his forehead, but then pulled back so he could tug the blanket back up around Kaelan’s shoulders as if to shield him from everything bad in the world.
“Let’s eat a little more, then I’ll pack us up. We’ll head home, grab my meds. I love you, and we’re gonna be okay. I mean, look at this,” he then scoffed, pulling back a little to reach for something on the tray.
“We’ve got parsley with our eggs. Parsley. Not even the useful kind. The decorative stuff. You know Jett is spending the big bucks when we’ve got fancy garnish with our breakfast.”
He took Kaelan’s hand and placed the sprig against his palm. It didn’t mean anything, it was just something to break the spiral.
“Tell me what you want to eat next. We’ve got some fluffy golden pancakes with light syrup. Fancy eggs, bacon, toast,” he hummed and then gently bumped his shoulder against Kaelan’s. “Your call. I’m just your hands today.”
He knew Kaelan was suffering. He knew he was in pain and quietly kept it to himself. Orien wanted to do what he could, but there was only so much he could do that Kaelan would tolerate.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:16 pm
Though there was an incredible weight on his shoulders as waves of anxiety and dread washed over him, Kaelan still managed to laugh when Orien went off on the parsley. Kaelan’s eyes hurt. He didn’t even realize that they were so hot because they’d filled with tears. He couldn’t feel his face until the first drop dripped to nearly his mouth, but he immediately wiped his hand over his face.
He knew he didn’t have to, but he offered another quick, desperate, “Sorry.”
Orien was so good to him. He wanted to bury himself under the blanket at his shoulders but instead he just leaned closer.
“I love you, too. I just really don’t like this.” He sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “I’m trying not to be scared. Obviously if I can’t see, I’ll figure something else out. But if I can’t see–”
Could he cook? Could he teach? Could he study? Could he work for Jett? Could he make sure Orien took the right medicine? Could he take care of Orien? Could he–
He’d have to figure out how to. There were plenty of people who couldn’t see, they’d figure it out. He’d figure it out. If he had to change plans–
Well, it’s not like he could get on disability or anything. No–Jett could probably do something. But they already asked so much of him. And would he still help if–
What if he couldn’t power up anymore? How was he supposed to be a good Dark Mirror Senshi if he couldn’t even see what he was doing?
Something short circuited in his brain. In his heart he knew other people could function well without their sight. But him? He was barely scraping by with all five senses. He wasn’t sure if he had the strength to relearn how to–what, to live? What was that called? To exist? He didn’t have a great support system. Well! No, that was wrong too! Orien was perfect!
…But Orien was going to have bad days. What if he got lost? What if he got hit by a car? What if Mirrorspace swallowed him up? What if he forgot his phone number, or how to get home, or who he was, or–
He opened his mouth to say something but a ragged breath fell from his lips instead.
It’s not fine. And that’s okay.
It’s okay if you don’t know what to say.
Was it? Just breathing didn’t feel right. Not having words didn’t feel right.
He wanted to open his eyes and he wanted to see Orien.
He felt so stupid.
Kaelan would twist himself into any piece, possible or impossible, to make things easier for Orien. Orien had been looking after him for years, of course he trusted him. He just didn’t want to be a burden! They relied on each other, they always had, but if Kaelan couldn’t get over this, he worried he’d be useless. He worried he’d never be strong enough to pull himself back together.
He wiped at his eyes again but the tears just wouldn’t stop.
“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I don’t know why they won’t stop. It’s fine,” he said again, but with no conviction. “They’re being so dramatic. I’m probably just hungry. I really want some pancakes,” he said, trying so hard to keep the emotion out of his voice. “Please.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:16 pm
The laugh made it worth it. Even if it was watery. Even if it cracked halfway through. Orien didn’t care about the sorry. Not the first one. Not the second. He didn’t even react to it. Instead, he just tucked Kaelan closer. One arm curled securely around his waist while the other reached across him to pull the tray near for better access.
He heard the ragged breath. He felt the tremble in Kaelan’s voice. The crack in his strength. And he hated that Kaelan felt like he had to hold it together.
“Hey,” Orien said softly, the word barely a breath as he pressed his lips against Kaelan’s temple. “You don’t need to explain why you’re crying. Or fix it. Or stop it. You’re not being dramatic. You’re scared. And it’s okay to be scared. I’d be scared, too.”
He was scared. But he knew Kaelan was way more terrified.
He placed another kiss against Kaelan’s temple and then, gently, with a bit of an awkward shuffle so he didn’t knock everything else off the tray, he cut off a piece of one of the pancakes and stabbed it with a fork. He took care to coat it with just the right amount of syrup before bringing it to Kaelan’s mouth.
“Just breathe. Focus on this right now. Pancakes. Syrup. Not too soggy. Not too dry. Perfectly golden, just like my eyes,” he softly teased, a faint smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. Just enough to try and counterbalance the weight of Kaelan’s fear.
“You want me to just keep talking? I can say some dumb s**t until it drowns out the scary stuff,” he suggested, but then his voice lowered, more serious this time. “Because I will. I will say the dumbest s**t you’ve ever heard. Like, for the longest time I really believed that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, one would grow in my stomach. And that back in the day, the world was really just black and white because all the old videos and photos were taken like that, so I just thought color hadn’t been invented. Or that people who ate a lot of carrots could see in the dark.”
He paused, thoughtful, and added, “Want to grab some carrots on the way home?”
But he sighed soon after and shook his head, despite Kaelan not being able to see it.
“I don’t remember a lot of things. You know that. But I remember you. Every time. Even when my head’s a mess. I remember you. Like how we used to climb into fountains to collect change. And if we had a million dollars we’d get a little cottage and you’d want chickens, but only for their eggs. I know you hate when I leave socks on the bathroom floor, but you never fuss at me for it. And when you can’t sleep, you like me to hum little songs under my breath until you drift off,” he said softly as he leaned in to press his forehead to Kaelan’s temple.
“You’re not a burden. You’re my everything. And we’ll figure this out. We’ll learn it together, if we have to. However long it takes.” He pressed his lips to Kaelan’s cheek then, just below his eye so he could brush away the wetness there with his lips.
“I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere. Eat your pancake before I do.”
He tucked the blanket a little closer around them both. Not because it would fix anything, but sometimes the warmth helped make things better.
“Also, I’m definitely stealing your bacon if you don’t claim it soon,” he added, just loud enough to be teasing. But his arm didn’t move from around Kaelan’s waist.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:17 pm
Kaelan sniffled, but it was softened with another little laugh. Orien had coaxed a few out of him already. “You can have my bacon,” he said. His voice trembled and sounded a little more nasally than usual but he pressed closer to Orien and opened his mouth for the pancake.
There were no surprises; Orien fed him well enough that it was like he was doing it himself.
He chewed, swallowed. “I love you,” he said again, still afraid to open his eyes.
“You’re really sweet, I should get hurt more often. I forgot how soft you get when I start crying.”
There were a few dozen times where Kaelan had felt like he could use a good cry. He’d earned a number of breakdowns that he’d denied himself because things were too stressful and he didn’t want to lose time he needed to keep up with everything else. Why schedule half an hour to cry in the bathroom when he could have been cleaning the oven? Doing homework? Paying bills?
He’d tried so hard to be strong for Orien because he didn’t want him to be afraid or worry about things. He already had so much on his plate.
“We should get carrots, you need more vegetables. Maybe they’ll help me see in the dark. I wish I got to know you when you were small. We could have run away together.” Their life wasn’t so bad right now. Maybe it could have been better, though.
…He wouldn’t have wanted to give up being a Dark Mirror Senshi. Or working with Jett.
He didn’t want to think that things worked out the way they were supposed to because there was so much that wasn't fair, so much that he didn’t think should have happened.
Kaelan sniffled again. The tears hadn’t stopped. They leaked out of his eye like a broken faucet. His throat burned but he wasn’t sobbing. Just falling apart, slowly.
“I don’t want to leave the hotel room,” he confessed. “I want to stay in the air conditioning. I want to eat room service. Do you think Jett would go get your medicine and come back here? We can’t ask him,” he said, already answering his own question. His lip was trembling but he told himself it was fine. This hotel room was a nice little daydream.
It was a break from reality. For as long as they were here it wasn’t real life, but as soon as he had to leave he was going to have to grapple with the fact that things were not right.
He didn’t know how he was supposed to adapt back to ‘normal life’ when he was sore and achy and sinking deeper into eternal darkness.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:20 pm
Orien scoffed, then clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, trying to make light of the ache swelling in his chest. It didn’t work. Not really. But Kaelan’s laugh helped. Even if it was watery. Even if it was laced with pain.
“How about you don’t get hurt more often,” he huffed, leaning close to press a few more kisses along the curve of Kaelan’s cheek, catching the tears where they fell. “You already cry too good. It’s not fair. Makes me wanna fight the whole damn world.”
Kaelan’s tears always weighed heavier than anything else. They always had. Even now, knowing Kaelan needed quiet, and pancakes, and peace... Orien still felt the itch to go pick a fight with someone, just to relieve some of the pressure of those tears. Instead, he just held Kaelan closer.
He didn’t laugh when Kaelan said they should’ve run away together. He just pressed his forehead lightly to Kaelan’s temple again. “Yeah. I wish I’d known you then, too. I would’ve carried your backpack and made you laugh until you cried with the dumbest jokes. You’d have had a better childhood, ‘cause I wouldn’t’ve let anyone mess with you.”
It was a nice thought. A version of life where they had each other sooner. Where Kaelan didn’t have to be so strong all the time. And Orien didn’t have to prove anything to survive.
When Kaelan said he didn’t want to leave the room, Orien felt his chest tighten. Of course he didn’t. Orien didn’t want to leave either. Everything out there sucked. The world almost ended! Kaelan wasn’t even asking for anything wild, just cold air, blankets, time. He wished he could give it to him. All of it. Everything.
But they still had to survive. And they were used to it being them against an unkind world.
Except… perhaps…
He knew they couldn’t ask Jett for more than he was already giving them.
But wouldn’t that just prove that they were right? Wouldn’t it be better to find out just how alone they were in the world if they ripped off the bandaid and got Jett to show his ‘true colors’?
“I have an idea,” Orien offered carefully, because he knew how his ideas weren’t always the best. They typically involved some amount of yelling, property damage, or blood. “I swear it doesn’t include punching anyone. Yet. We’ll finish breakfast. I’ll text Jett -- not to ask him to run errands for us, just to see if he can take me back to the apartment. That’s it. I’ll grab my meds, your stuff, the carrots. Then I’ll come right back. We’ll talk to the front desk. See if we can extend the room. Or downgrade to a cheaper one if this one’s too bougie. I’ll pay for it out of what I’ve got coming from Jett. I don’t care. You stay here. Get some rest. Eat all the pancakes. You won’t even know I’m gone.”
He paused, reaching for Kaelan’s hand to give it a gentle squeeze, before continuing a little more softly. “And if he can’t drive me… I’ll still figure it out. I’ve been paying attention, remember? You taught me how to keep a list. I’ve got one on my phone and everything. I’ll bring back what we need.”
His thumb brushed over Kaelan’s knuckles as he added, more seriously now. “But I’m not leaving if you don’t want me to. We’ll figure out something else if it feels like too much. I’m not going to make you sit alone in the dark just because I need to feel useful. But I do want to be useful. Just… not in a way that leaves you worse off.”
Orien leaned in to press one last kiss against the corner of Kaelan’s mouth, then stretched over to get another bite of pancake, cut it with more care than anyone who ate with their hands ever should, and held it up to Kaelan’s mouth. “So what do you think? Deal? You stay. I go. We both eat and relax for the first time in forever?”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:22 pm
Sluggishly, Kaelan’s brain struggled to keep up with the conversation. There was too much going on in his head to move seamlessly from one subject to the next. He wanted to tell Orien he didn’t want to get hurt, he didn’t know what he meant by cry too good, didn’t want Orien to fight the world. He wanted to live in the fantasy of having met Orien when they were younger. He wanted to dream about Orien carrying his backpack–why?–or making bad jokes, or just being there.
It didn’t matter what else was going on, if Orien had just been there he could have made it through anything.
Kaelan told himself that ‘maybe things were meant to work out like this’ but it felt sick and made him want to vomit. He could have met Orien in a thousand other ways.
But he never wished that he hadn’t.
Without thinking about it, Kaelan had held his breath when Orien suggested an idea. He loved Orien, completely, he was just willing to be a bit more reckless than Kaelan was.
Instead of a poorly thought out plan with little regard for consequences, Orien had presented a good option, and Kaelan felt bad for doubting him. There were small flaws–You won’t even know I’m gone. How could he not? Kalean didn’t nitpick. He had more important things to focus on. Orien’s words just echoed in his mind well after they were spoken.
He had enough wits about him to eat the offered pancake, to chew and swallow and thank him softly before speaking.
“If he can’t drive, we’ll just get an Uber or something,” Kaelan suggested, quick to explain, “Not because I don’t trust you. Because I don’t want you gone for that long.”
He didn’t say I don’t want to be alone but it hung in the air anyway.
But Orien said he needed to feel useful. Who was Kaelan to deny that? Orien probably had a lot of energy he needed to burn off. Kaelan knew how he got. Too much worry and too much stress, turned into too much energy, and that turned into something that needed an outlet before the storm inside scraped him raw and hollow.
Maybe Kaelan could just go back to bed and sleep while Orien was gone? …No, he’d stay awake, in case something went wrong.
In his heart, Kaelan knew Jett would help them. He’d never said no before. Kaelan was afraid of using up all that good will now when there might be some point in the future where they needed it more. It felt selfish to take advantage of Jett’s willingness. They needed to save it for when–if–Orien’s condition worsened..
He could tough this out.
(He couldn’t. He was trying. He felt brittle, like old glass ready to snap under new pressure. He was spread thin in ways he didn’t know how to manage. He couldn’t tell Orien. He wouldn’t give him more reason to worry.)
“But, I think it’s a good plan,” he said, ignoring the other things he might change. He just wanted Orien to be safe. And here. But not kept. Not trapped.
“Thank you. I love you. You’re so good to me,” he said, because it was true. Even if Orien made it hard for everyone else to see how good he could be, he always looked after Kaelan. More than anyone else ever had.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:22 pm
“I like your plan too,” Orien hummed, pressing his face against Kaelan’s hair, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lip. “You’ll get me home faster and wrapped back up around you even quicker.” Because of course he’d come back. Even if Kaelan hadn’t said he didn’t want to be alone, Orien heard it anyway. Felt it in every other word he said.
He pressed another kiss to Kaelan’s temple, warm and lingering and mumbled, “I won’t be gone long. I’ll leave the pancakes with you as insurance. If I take too long, eat mine too. It’s only fair. You don’t have to thank me. You’ve been good to me since the beginning. You let me mess up, forget stuff, freak out, beat people up, and eat the leftovers. I’m just trying to keep things balanced.”
Orien shifted a little then, resting his head against Kaelan’s shoulder, but careful not to knock the tray. He just wanted a little bit longer with him, like building up his own strength.
“You’ve always been my home. So I’m just gonna run and get supplies. Come back. Lock the door. Pretend the world doesn’t exist for a little longer.”
He didn’t comment on the cracks in Kaelan’s voice, or how he looked like he might fall apart if someone breathed too hard in his direction. Instead, he took one last bite of pancake and reached again for Kaelan’s hand.
“Okay, here’s what I’m thinking,” he started, not doing a good job of hiding the small smirk from his voice, as though they were planning a bank heist. “Step one, we call Jett. Step two, I put on some pants so I don’t get arrested. Step three, I go to the apartment and grab everything. Step four, I text you every five minutes like an annoying boyfriend in a long distance relationship. Step five, I come back and we turn off the world. Pancakes optional. Cuddling required.”
He lifted Kaelan’s hand to kiss his knuckles in reassurance. “And if anything doesn’t feel right, or if you need me back sooner or change your mind, I’ll drop everything and be back here. You say the word, I run. I won’t even stop for red lights. Kidding,” he added quickly before Kaelan could scold him.
“I love you. And we’re gonna be okay. Just a few hours. Then we’ll be back under the blankets and I’ll be whispering sweet nothings to you until you blush the color of a tomato.”
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:23 pm
Was it worth it to tell Orien that he wasn’t sure a text every five minutes would help? Or that he wasn’t sure how to tell when he’d had half the pancakes? Kaelan managed a shaky smile, though. He wanted to laugh. Orien’s carefully listed steps made him feel a little better.
Kaelan was needy. Maybe he clung to the idea of cuddling required more than he should have. He was pining, and Orien was right next to him already. He couldn’t even imagine how he was going to manage without him, even if only for ‘a few hours’.
“Eat your breakfast,” he insisted. “If you’re running around, you need your strength.” And if he didn’t eat now, would he remember to eat before taking his medicine?
No, probably not.
He squeezed Orien’s hand as his own was held.
“Don’t make any excuses,” he said, gesturing to the tray. Or, where he thought the tray was. He didn’t think Orien had moved it.
“...What’s your phone battery at? What’s mine at? Can you charge your phone? In case I want you to call instead of text,” he said, mouth feeling dry and scratchy and like it was stuffed full of cotton balls.
He knew he must have seemed like he was bouncing around but it made sense to him. He couldn't text Orien while he was gone. So if Orien was already thinking about ‘annoying boyfriend in a long distance relationship,’ Kaelan was pretty sure he could one-up him. He didn’t care if they talked or not. He just wanted to know there was a connection.
He was trying not to be greedy. He rubbed at his eyes again. They were sore, but the more he rubbed, the more white sparks danced behind his closed vision. It was a distorted reprieve from the darkness. Maybe he was just fooling himself.
He was afraid to open his eyes and see darkness.
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2025 5:23 pm
“Okay, okay,” Orien muttered when Kaelan insisted he eat, but it came with the barest tug of a smile. He obediently picked up his fork to take another bite of pancake just to prove he was listening.
He held onto Kaelan’s hand a little longer, brushing his thumb over the back of his fingers. “You’re allowed to want me close,” he said softly. “I want the same thing. I’d never leave your side if I could help it.”
Orien scooted just a little closer, leaning into Kaelan for the closeness, almost like he was bracing himself.
“I’ll make sure to bring chargers back with me. Yours is at fifty-two. Mine is at sixty-one,” he shared as he uncomfortably twisted himself to reach for their phones on the bedside table. But once that was done, he went back to wrapping his arm around Kaelan, pressing his face momentarily against his boyfriend’s neck, just absorbing his warmth and presence.
“I’ll stay on the phone with you the whole time if that would make you feel better. You don’t have to hide how scared you are. You don’t have to say you’re fine. I already know. You think I don’t feel it? You’re the loudest quiet I’ve ever known.”
He smiled again, and this time it was a little closer to a real one. He took a moment to fix the blanket around Kaelan’s shoulders, soft and protective.
“I’m not going far. And I’m not gone yet. So maybe… let’s just be here for another minute,” he hummed softly, then pressed a kiss to Kaelan’s neck, then his jaw, then his cheek, each movement slow and lingering and warm. “I love you. I’ll always listen, even if you don’t say a word.”
He knew Kaelan was scared about his vision. Orien was, too… But he’d already decided they would just have to take it one step at a time.
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