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 Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 1:37 pm
Backdated to December. Takes place directly after this battle. Lonely, but not alone, Ymir gazed at the one who’d saved him.
She had fair hair; that was familiar. Her eyes were purple, at once dark and bright; that was different. They were near enough in height, but only due to the heels on her shoes; would she seem odd without them? She was pale like him; that was familiar, too.
He knew those colors. He knew those butterflies. He knew her magic. He knew, without being told, what name she would offer.
Ymir felt a cold sting then — a crushing wave of loss and misery. Tears sprang into his eyes, but he blinked them away.
He’d known, when he’d gone into stasis, that it would be the end for him. Either he would never wake, or he would be executed as soon as he did. A thousand years later, when neither outcome came to pass, he knew that anyone he’d ever known or loved would be gone.
Surtur was not. Surtur was alive, even if circumstances meant he wasn’t entirely well.
Yet, even in Surtur’s presence, Ymir had not allowed himself to believe that the same fate had befallen anyone else.
Not his mother, who was dead long before Chaos came to Ymir. Not his brother, who must have died centuries ago, even if he’d initially survived whatever became of his world. Not—
“Varuna,” Ymir said.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:29 pm
Varuna didn’t know this Senshi. She’d never met him before. There was nothing familiar about him. Meeting another Senshi with ice magic was nice, but he wasn’t the only one she’d met.
So when he knew her name, she could only assume he knew someone else that must have described her to him.
“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” she asked instead of responding directly to him knowing her name. “I have some medical training if you are.”
He looked… no, he didn’t look injured, but he did look like he was hurting. Did he know Adria? Or Lysithea? Was that how he knew her name?
Because she couldn’t help herself, she reached out to fuss over some strands of the young man’s hair, tucking it behind his ear, before brushing out a couple wrinkles in the ruffles of his collar.
That wasn’t enough. Maybe it was too much for him, but she’d never really shied away from physical contact. So she reached out to wrap her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Not one that he couldn’t easily pull away from, but if he resisted her when he didn’t resist the corrupted Senshi… well, there was definitely more going on than she knew.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:36 pm
Ymir didn’t know how to respond. He wasn’t hurt, but he was in pain. His heart ached — so much he thought it might give out on him. He’d thought he was immune to this sort of despair, that he’d grown cold and numb enough to resist it.
He was used to sadness. He was used to pain. He was used to disappointment. He was even used to loss.
He was not used to seeing his sister’s colors, her butterflies, but not seeing her face.
There were similarities — enough that, in the right light, maybe he could trick himself into belief. She touched him like she cared, like the Varuna he’d known would have, tucked his hair behind his ear, fixed his collar. She hugged him, put her arms around him like she did centuries ago, but it wasn’t the same.
It wasn’t, because she wasn’t the same. Her voice was different. She was different.
Ymir forced himself to breathe again, the sound of it wet in his throat. He blinked until he was sure the burn in his eyes was gone. He swallowed, loosening the clog in his throat.
He shook his head, then pulled away before he could let himself pretend.
“I’m fine,” he assured her. “Maybe a little singed. It’s nothing to worry about.”
Ymir looked at her, even though it was painful. He couldn’t make himself look away.
“Thank you,” he said. “I…”
He didn’t know how to explain. He would have died without her help, would have let it happen without a fight. He would have welcomed it, allowed the loss of his starseed with something like relief.
Maybe it would have been easier than this.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:37 pm
She couldn’t figure out why he was looking at her the way he was. Like he was lost in a memory or thought. Or just lost in general.
Varuna took a step back when he pulled away. She crossed her arms under her chest with the intention of comfort rather than defense. He wanted to say something, but she was all too familiar with having thoughts she wanted to speak but not having the voice.
“You know my name, but I’m afraid I don’t know yours. I’m sorry,” she said, because she felt as though maybe she should know him if he knew her.
“Are you friends with Lysithea?” She was the only one Varuna could think of that could potentially describe her to others. Sure, maybe Adria or Malus could have described her to someone else, but they tended to keep to themselves.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:39 pm
Ymir shook his head again.
He didn’t know a Lysithea. The name was familiar. He thought maybe a Lysithea had been around at some point. On Alastor, perhaps? Ymir hadn’t had the chance to speak with her. He didn’t know if he would have if he did. He didn’t know anyone. Just Surtur, Valhalla, and Ganymede, but the latter two weren’t the same people he’d known before.
Like Varuna.
Ymir gripped his forearm, where a few faint scars marred the skin from his escape from his glass prison.
“Her name was Llamrei,” he said. “The Varuna before you.”
That wasn’t what she’d asked. Maybe she knew already, like Ganymede and Valhalla did. Maybe she didn’t want to know. The past felt both very close and very far away to Ymir, but he imagined it must be a distant concern for most of the people here on Earth.
Ymir swallowed and shifted his weight. Snow crunched beneath his feet.
“I’m sorry,” he hastened to apologize. The connection that once existed between them wasn’t any of her concern, yet he could not stop himself from disclosing it. Something desperate in him wanted recognition, though he knew he wouldn’t receive it from her. “My name is Ymir. I knew her. She was—...”
He shouldn’t say. He shouldn’t. Llamrei was gone. The proof was right there in front of him.
It came spilling out anyway.
“She was my sister.”
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:39 pm
Varuna was quiet while Ymir worked through his thoughts, but that wasn’t unusual for her. She didn’t often speak unless she had reason to. Once, long ago when she was little, she’d been more outgoing, more vocal. Excited about everything.
But her excitement was a hindrance. Her voice annoying. Her ideas and thoughts useless or stupid.
She’d learned quickly to keep her mouth shut, to swallow down her thoughts, because it didn’t matter what she thought anyway.
Finding out that the Varuna before her was Ymir’s sister was sobering. He was one of the Senshi that were drawn to Earth after being alone for so long. How long had Alastor been by himself before being pulled to Earth?
Gently, Varuna reached out to place her hand over Ymir’s on his arm. She could see the scars there, wanted to ask about them, but that was probably a question that he wouldn’t want to answer, so she kept her thoughts to herself.
It was no wonder he was in pain. How many people had he lost? And now she was just a reminder of that loss.
What could she possibly say? That she was sorry his sister didn’t survive and that she was born? Maybe she was.
“Would you like to find somewhere to talk? Are you hungry?” she asked, because what else was there to say that wouldn’t sound insensitive or prove that she had no idea how he felt? What that kind of loss did to someone…
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:42 pm
Ymir had quickly grown used to the idea that some of the people he’d once known might show up on Earth as someone else. Allies, acquaintances, people he’d met in service to his world — after his initial encounter with Valhalla, he’d prepared himself for many instances like that, so much so that encountering Surtur had come as a shock.
Nothing could have prepared him for this. He’d done his best not to think about it, put all memory of his brother and his sister out of his mind. There was no use hoping either of them might have survived only to be disappointed later if that wasn’t the case, just as there was no use imagining who they might have become in rebirth. Of all the billions of celestial objects strewn across space, the chances that he would even encounter any of his reborn family seemed remote.
Now it seemed as if the universe were taunting him. Fate was not done reminding him that it cared little for his happiness.
This Varuna was kind, like his sister. She was concerned. It was obvious to Ymir that she didn’t quite know what to say — how could she? — but she tried to offer him comfort anyway.
He should allow her an excuse to leave. Everything about him was a stranger to her. She wouldn’t recognize his name, or his magic. She wouldn’t remember anything about their years growing up — not always together, but still within frequent contact.
Ymir missed her. Perhaps for the first time, he wished he could go back to everything that was familiar, if only to see Llamrei again.
“I—...”
What to say? What to do? Which would be worse: to let her go and pretend as if he’d never seen her, or ask her to stay and continue to suffer the pain of loss?
“Yes,” he said. Then, “No. I—... I’m sorry. I don’t quite know what to do. I didn’t mean to impose on you. I understand that this might be… awkward. Please don’t feel bound to endure my company. I…I understand that you aren’t Llamrei, I just didn’t expect—…”
He didn’t expect to see her at all.
He didn’t expect it to hurt so much if he did.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:43 pm
Varuna shifted on her feet, wanting to give Ymir time to process what he wanted to say, and what he wanted to agree to. He didn’t have to talk to her. He didn’t have to acknowledge her existence if that was easier for him.
She didn’t tell him he wasn’t imposing on her, even though she didn’t feel like he was. If he’d come to that conclusion, then he was likely like her and decided for himself what his presence meant to others. Maybe he thought he was a burden, like she was led to believe for so long.
“I was on my way to get something to eat before heading home,” she explained, hoping that if he knew her plans, he could decide for himself if he was actually imposing or not. She wasn’t usually very trusting of others, especially with her identity, but the way he spoke was so sincere and lost… The way he seemed to have given up and would have let the corrupted Senshi take his starseed, and the way his magic seemed to burst forth more powerful than seemed normal for a Senshi of his level…
“Would it be okay if I powered down? I don’t want to draw more unnecessary attention,” she said, wanting to give him the choice of knowing her as a civilian or not. She wouldn’t force that on him, but she was willing to take a chance.
Maybe her time with Lysithea and Adria was lowering her guard. She didn’t like it, but also felt like it was necessary in this case.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:45 pm
He knew he was a burden. It was what Uncle always said. It was what everyone came to believe, in the end. He was only worth anything as long as he did what he was told, but at any sign of trouble, he was expendable; his starseed could be reborn into someone better suited to it. In a way, Chaos was the only reason he was still alive today. Had it not begun to ravage his world, Uncle and the rest of the Council might have decided they were better off without him.
They should have killed him anyway. Keeping him in stasis clearly hadn’t done anyone much good.
Ymir wished he could still laugh about it. He wished he could feel vindicated. Instead, he felt miserably alone.
“I…”
This Varuna would learn quickly. He wasn’t worth her kindness. He couldn’t even lift a hand to defend his own starseed. He should spare her the indignity, but a selfish part of him, the part of him that couldn’t let go of his sister, wanted to know who her starseed had become in this life.
Ymir let go of his power first, let it recede so he could stand before her as his most pathetic self. The clothing on Earth could be strange, but he’d taken to it well enough — fitted pants of some stretchy fabric, with boots for better traction in the snow more than warmth. He only wore a light jacket of denim over a cotton shirt. He didn’t have gloves or a hat.
“My name is Tyr,” he said, assuming that was invitation enough for her to do the same.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:46 pm
She wasn’t dressed much better for the weather. A light colored parka, but her leggings likely weren’t warm. Underneath the jacket was a relatively thin shirt. She wore boots, but that was part of her typical day. She didn’t bother with gloves or a hat, although she probably should since she was only human, unlike Tyr.
“Rhiannon,” she introduced and held out her hand for him to take. It was slippery, after all. A fall could be painful, and they were going to find somewhere to eat, anyway.
“I live close by with my auntie and cousin. Where are you staying?” Where did these Senshi that came from other worlds stay if they weren’t found by others willing to help them? How many had been picked up by the Negaverse, due to their lack of understanding of how things worked?
“You have very nice hair and pretty eyes,” she said after a moment. She didn’t think she had to tell him, but she couldn’t stop glancing over at him. Their hair color was similar, despite the fact that she wasn’t his sister. Not in this life at least.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:47 pm
The differences were more noticeable without the distractions of Llamrei’s butterflies. Tyr could only frown — not in disappointment, exactly, but a sort of resignation. He still followed along. He still allowed Rhiannon to take his hand, guiding him along like Llamrei used to do when they were children.
Rhiannon had a family. She had a home. Tyr didn’t have much of anything.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, rather than seem rude by ignoring the compliment. He’d heard enough about his looks over the years that it no longer felt flattering, but at least Rhiannon seemed kind. She wasn’t leering. She had no interest in him as anything other than a fellow Senshi.
“Ganymede and Valhalla have been kind enough to offer shelter,” he explained. Tyr kept his voice hushed. He knew it was dangerous to be overheard. Though he didn’t care much for his own safety, he wouldn’t risk Rhiannon. “Valhalla found me when I came here. The experience has been… disconcerting. I don’t know what I’m meant to be doing here. I don’t understand why I survived. There doesn’t seem to be any point.”
Anything good that might have existed in his life had gone with all the bad.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:49 pm
The names gave her pause, and Rhiannon looked at Tyr with visible relief. That he was found by Valhalla and stayed with him and Ganymede, especially when she knew how protective they were about their home, was definitely a good thing.
“My auntie is Paris’s mother,” she said quietly. Normally she wouldn’t reveal connections like that, but Tyr was already living with Paris. It didn’t seem fair to leave him in the dark about something like that. “She’s my cousin,” Rhiannon clarified.
“I don’t think any of us really understand what we’re supposed to be doing, other than surviving. Maybe you were brought here for some reason we don’t know yet. Maybe you were meant to help make a stand against the Negaverse,” she suggested. She knew there was other Chaos on Earth, but the Negaverse was their biggest threat.
“Or maybe this is just another chance for you to live. Do you like animals? I work with them. Usually go to farms to help out when I’m not at the clinic. If you ever wanted something to do, I could use an assistant. I wouldn’t make you do actual work, but you could learn more about Earth if you wanted.”
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:50 pm
“Oh…”
Tyr would have deflated if he had any energy to him at all. Instead, he simply continued to stare into the night, a frown firmly in place, trying not to think about how Rhiannon’s hand felt in his. (A hand was just a hand. He didn’t need to compare it to Llamrei’s — slim and cool as it was. Had been. Still seemed.)
The relation to Ganymede stung. Tyr attempted to stay on her good side, but Paris was distant around him. Curious, but suspicious. Often lost in thought. She remembered him, even if she wasn’t who her starseed once belonged to. Tyr didn’t know how that worked, but it meant their situation was occasionally awkward — more so than it would have been if they hadn’t known one another at all. It didn’t seem fair that Varuna should be related to her. It felt a bit like Ganymede had stolen something from him, even if neither of them had any choice in the matter.
Tyr didn’t know how to feel, or what to believe. He solved that problem by feeling nothing and refusing to believe in anything.
He glanced at Rhiannon when she asked if he liked animals.
“I do,” he said. It would probably be rather pathetic to admit the only friends he’d ever had on Ymir had been the birds and horses, and the cats who hunted mice around the castle, so he chose instead to focus on his sister. “I—... When I would visit Llamrei—... On Varuna there are—.... used to be mountain horses. We would spend hours with them, out in the snow. I always liked it there. It was peaceful. As far as I could tell, anyway.”
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:52 pm
Rhiannon heard the deflation in his voice. Wondered if it had to do with her being Ganymede’s cousin in this life instead of still his sister. She hadn’t heard the name Llamrei associated with Varuna until he said it, but there was something that felt right about it. There wasn’t any need to question him.
“I haven’t been to Varuna often. It seemed too dangerous when I did visit. I don’t know how the weather would have held up. But it sounds like you had a good time there. I’m glad.”
She didn’t have as strong of a connection to the world that was her namesake, but the way Tyr spoke of it, it seemed… nice almost.
“Would you like to ride with me sometime?” she offered, because it was something she already did almost daily as it was. “The farms I go to have horses the owners let me ride. I used to ride for competition, but not as often now that I work.”
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2023 5:53 pm
He couldn’t begrudge her hesitance in visiting a world that must be close to dead. Tyr hadn’t been back to Ymir since he arrived on Earth, saw no reason to bother; it wasn’t as if he could combat the Chaos on his own. Even if Varuna wasn’t overrun like his own world had been, Tyr knew that life had gone from it. There would be no people, no animals, probably minimal plant life. He might not even recognize it anymore.
Still, a part of him ached for it. It was the last place he’d seen Llamrei before travel and communication had become impossible.
Tyr blinked slowly, so weighed down by rising memories he struggled to keep at bay that Rhiannon’s offer took several moments to register with him. When it finally did, he was almost amazed by the sudden shock that went through him — a rush, a thrill so brief he thought he might have imagined it.
“Yes,” he found himself saying before he could think it through.
Paris and Chris had stables and a carriage house on their estate — both renovated to no longer suit their original purpose. Tyr often thought it was a shame. Their property was beautiful, but would be much improved by the addition of horses. They had the space for them, and the funds to care for them.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
He would like that more than he could possibly vocalize. For a moment, Tyr felt choked up. His eyes burned with tears again, his throat gone tight and painful.
On impulse, he squeezed Rhiannon’s hand. She was not Llamrei. She would never be Llamrei. But there were just enough similarities, small as they might be, that Tyr could let himself believe a piece of his sister still existed.
He would hold onto it, stubbornly.
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