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((This solo takes place between Super Sailor Ptolemaeus and Jack Burnett immediately after Super Sailor Chara leaves in Thankless Task.))
Once Chara was out of earshot - or what Jack thought would have been far enough out of earshot, anyway - he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and asked, “So what was that all about?”
“He didn’t mean it,” Ptolemy said, still watching the White Moon Senshi. “Something’s wrong with him. I don’t know what it is, but I’ll find out.”
“Oh, I’m pretty damn sure he meant it,” the redhead answered, his voice betraying an edge of irritation despite his casual manner. “You don’t get that close to strangling someone without meaning it, Ptole. Plus that little snot knew my name.” He glared in the direction Chara had gone.
“Something’s wrong with him, alright, but I don’t think it’s something that can be fixed.” He cocked his head. “When I asked what ‘that’ was all about, I wasn’t just referring to him trying to strangle me, you know. Is there something going on between you two?”
Ptolemaeus finally turned his head to sneer at Jack. “Can you blame him, with how often you drive people to want to strangle you, hurt you, or otherwise shut you up? You’re aggravating; you have an abrasive personality and you know it.”
“But I can’t seem to annoy you, you freak,” the younger teen answered, sounding half admiring, half disgusted. “Not even when I try. What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“It’s...complicated. But part of it’s probably just that it takes one to know one, so I can already see through your plans before you execute them,” the black-haired senshi answered musingly.
“Whatever. That stupid, nosy senshi thought I needed help even though I had those guys right where I wanted them. I never asked for his help. He comes and meddles in my affairs and he said I’m instigating stuff? Maybe he should learn to mind his own business first!” Jack fumed.
“Calm down,” Ptolemy advised. “Chara thinks he’s helping people. I know you don’t like help, but you can’t expect everyone to automatically know that. And I know he kind of crossed the line - okay, maybe really crossed the line - after you spurned his help, but you need to learn how to play nicer, too. I thought you told me you know how to behave when your life depends on it.”
“Yeah, well I sure didn’t know my life would depend on it this time,” he grumbled, still rubbing at the marks on his neck that was was pretty sure would turn into bruises. How was he supposed to hide those from his teachers and parents?
His fist to his chin, the older teen murmured, “I agree that that was going too far, but I think the cause was more than a natural reaction. He mentioned something about someone messing with his starseed, too...about them giving it a ‘chaotic massage’.”
“Man, I don’t know how he’s not already a Corrupt Senshi,” Jack said. “It still bothers me he knew my name. And he kept saying it like he wanted to make sure I knew he knew who I was.”
The tall sailor scout chuckled. “As if that matters. It’s not like you’re close to anyone as it is, so even if he knows your name, that doesn’t mean he knows anything else about you. He probably just said it to try to unnerve you.”
“That’s what annoyed me. The intent behind it; not the actual act itself. But it did make me curious how he knows.” Frowning at the Dark Mirror Senshi, he continued, “And whatever’s wrong with him...what if it’s not something new? What if it’s something that’s been there all along and is only now just showing up?” Stepping up to Ptolemaeus, Jack said, “And don’t think I didn’t notice you ignored my question about what’s going on between the pair of you. Spill it. I’m betting your feelings toward him, whatever they are, are clouding your ability to face what he is.”
Ptolemy met Jack’s eyes and smiled. “Of course it’s not something new. There is chaos and order in all of us; darkness and light. I believe they exist in a balance in which the lines are blurred and we need both to live properly. What I feel has changed with Chara is that the balance in his heart - or starseed, if we’re going to get more literal - has been disrupted. I think that may be affecting his mind regarding his thoughts and his perception of the world.” He looked toward the horizon, his smiling countenance fading into one of indifference.
“...As for my feelings, I’m sorry, but I think you’d lose that bet. I have trouble empathizing with people. It makes it hard for me to connect with them in the way most others would. That’s why you don’t annoy me,” he explained, “and why I have a lack of significant emotion toward most in general. That’s why I relish something as small as being able to anger someone enough to get them to punch me - not because I want to annoy them but, because in some small way, I managed to connect with them. To influence and affect them and their way of thinking. That’s no small feat for me.”
“So basically, you’re a psychopath,” Jack concluded, crossing his arms as he gave Ptolemy and incredulous eyebrow-raise.
Chuckling, the older teen shrugged. “Who knows. Here’s the thing - I don’t feel nothing toward him; I just have trouble empathizing because I don’t feel as strongly or the same way he does.” Ptolemy raised a hand to run his fingers back through his wavy, black hair.
“There is one person who actually evokes strong emotions in me, and that’s my little sister. She’s always been so emotionally expressive and it’s like she feels enough raw, undiluted emotions for the both of us, including the ones that are dulled for me. She makes me feel like...she’s my connection to people; like she’s the heart that feels everything for me.” He grinned and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I don’t know if it makes sense, but...it’s like Davy Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean or Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle whose hearts are kept separate from them outside their bodies. I feel disconnected from my emotions and consequently I don’t feel as strong a connection to people, but when she’s around, it’s different. Like just her mere presence is enough to inspire emotions more strongly in me.
“Chara reminds me a lot of her. Maybe that’s why I feel more connected to him than most. Both he and my sister feel everything emotionally all the time to the fullest extent, which is the opposite of me. That’s also why they both get frustrated with me for my lack of emotional expression.” Smiling fondly to himself, Ptolemaeus continued, “I must be like a monster to them. But they accept me anyway.
“Emotions are so terrifying and amazing and wondrous all at the same time. I don’t like feeling them because they cause people to lose control like Chara and Tymiko do and I personally hate not being able to get a hold of myself. But it takes a special kind of bravery and strength to just allow yourself to give in to your emotions and I respect those two for being able to do that. The few times I’ve actually been able to let go thanks to them made me realize that it’s an exhilarating experience that can be just as positive as it can be negative.” He closed his eyes and craned back his neck, facing the sky. “And I owe it all to them.”
The red-head just stared at Ptolemaeus for a few seconds. “...I stand by my previous verdict: you’re a freak. Possibly a psychopathic one.”
The Dark Mirror Senshi laughed and waved Jack off. “Maybe I am. But those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind, am I right?”
“Mmhmm...whatever you say, Ptole,” Jack answered, shaking his head in disbelief at the older teen. “I still think it’s a mistake to be attached to anyone at all, whether a little or a lot. You yourself told me how painful it could be.”
“True, but when it happens, you don’t have much of a choice in the matter,” Ptolemy answered, picking up the shorter male without warning and ignoring his cry of protest. “Don’t worry. You’ll see. Some day.” Leaping down from the roof, he gently released the high schooler.
“Tch. Fat chance!” Jack retorted, waving the sailor scout off. “As if I’d ever let myself get close to even risking that. By the way, about that save...“
The senshi of change laughed again. “Just buy me a slushie next time we go out and we’ll call it even.” He raised a hand in farewell. “Stay safe, kiddo. Never know when there might be dangerous senshi lurking around the corner.”
Without turning around, the younger teen affectionately flipped Ptolemaeus the bird. “Up yours.”
