This may be triggering for some people and is part of an approved plot.
I did research a significant amount of research, but this could still be flawed. If you or someone you know has any additional information on ALL for me, I'd appreciate any and all assistance.
I did research a significant amount of research, but this could still be flawed. If you or someone you know has any additional information on ALL for me, I'd appreciate any and all assistance.
So far there was only ever one time when his heart raced this fast, when he had to chase after each breath as his feet, as quickly as they were able, carried him to the room where she was staying. The first time was most definitely on a high and happy note, the kind that was constantly echoed whenever they were together. Today marked the second time, and it felt so similar to the first only instead of elation he was weighed down by dread and far from happy thoughts.
Tristan found himself standing in front of the open door soon enough, chest heaving somewhat and as his eyes fell to the name on the sign to the side of the room. His chest clenched for just a moment before a nurse approached from inside, giving him a soft smile before she excused herself and walked past. His mouth opened to ask a question, nearly too late as well until he turned around and caught the woman's shoulder.
"Um, I'm sorry. Uh, i-is she okay?" he asked, voice a little weaker than he hoped it would be. The softness in her smile made him squirm ever so slightly, something she might have picked up on as she cleared her throat and her expression changed to something more akin to cheerful. It kind of bugged him how quick the change was, but it might have been her profession. And observing how nurses accommodated to the patients and visitors wasn't why he was here in the first place so he shoved it out of his mind.
"She's doing fine," came her response, smile turning a bit more optimistic. "She's awake now, if you're here for a visit."
"Really? I mean, if she needs to rest I..." and he sort of trailed off, leaving the nurse to pick up the conversation.
"You can ask her yourself, how about that?" she replied as she guided him back to the door. He was feeling a mix of scared and worried so he sort of just followed; by the time he was at the door he finally looked up and inside the room and the nurse all but left his mind as soon as his eyes landed on Hannah's resting form.
Even under the natural light she somehow looked exceptionally pale, though the light really hit her just so and accented her features in a way that he had to fight down a smile as he made his approach. He reached out for her hand almost as soon as he was close enough, and when he was finally right by her bed he leaned down to press a kiss ever so gently to her forehead.
"Hey, beautiful…" he whispered, not wanting to wake her in case she was asleep.
The gentle touch was familiar as was the press of his kiss upon her brow. Even the spiced scent he was wearing registered in Hannah’s mind. But when Tristan spoke, for the barest of moments she did not recognize the rough sound in his voice. Confused, her brows furrowed before those once shining blue sapphire colored eyes peered out from beneath dark lashes.
She blinked once then twice. The haze of sleep lifted slowly but after a few seconds she looked up at him with weary eyes. “Hey,...” she responded, her voice sounding raspy from being dry and in need of water. “What are you doing here?” She then asked. Her parents and Xander were the only ones she ever expected to see in her room, or nurse Kimple; however, she was on vacation this week.
Unable to meet his eyes for very long Hannah’s gaze fell to an arbitrary spot on the blanket then, with what strength someone who just woke up would normally have, she shifted to the side so he could sit beside her on the bed.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked, smile soft as he leaned back a bit to get a better look at her. She looked sleepy, or maybe tired...possibly even weak, but he didn't comment. Instead he brought a hand to her cheek, brushing aside a stray strand of hair before she averted her gaze and he swallowed nervously. Worried still but he couldn't quite put a finger on why. She just collapsed, right? Nothing serious, just tired or stressed. School sucked, work didn't help. That made sense. Yeah...
He sat beside her once she settled down again, mindful of any wires that might have been attached and just lying across her sheets. "I couldn't get a hold of you this morning so I went to your house. Your mom told me you were here," he explained, the worry now more evident in both his tone and expression. "She said you collapsed so I rushed over..."
It was his turn to look away this time as he recalled that moment. He could have sworn his heart stopped, and really just about everything else stopped mattering. He just knew that he had to see her, hold her and make sure she was okay. When he managed to look Hannah in the eyes again, those bright sapphire eyes that he often found himself getting lost in, he sighed. "The world stopped, you know. When I heard."
“I know” Hannah’s voice was quiet as she spoke. This wasn’t the first time someone told her how they felt when they found out she was in the hospital and nine times out of ten it was the same reaction. It wasn’t at all that she felt calloused towards his, or anyone else's, feelings. Rather, it made her feel incredibly guilty for making the people she cared about worry over her. “I was scared. All I could think about right before it happened…” was you her mind finished the train of thought in silent admission since it was truthfully a lot more than that.
“I never wanted to hurt you Tristan; I don’t want you to have to worry about me.” His concern was as much as a ice lance piercing her fragile heart as it was balm soothing her soul. No matter how happy she was to see him his presence served as a reminder that she couldn’t keep hiding behind her senshi magic and pray her illness away; she'd have to tell him sooner than later what was going on and as much as she hated it, fate chose this moment to be the time to open up and address the white elephant in the room.
Hannah closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath to try and calm herself down. “I’m sick.” She stated. “And I don’t mean a runny nose and a cough. About four years ago I was diagnosed with ALL which stands for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It took a little over a year till I was finally in remission because the first treatment they tried failed.”
“My parents and I moved back to Destiny City about two years ago and everything seemed fine until the incident at the Umbrae Hotel last year.” There was more to that incident which she elected not to discuss, unfortunately it wouldn’t be wise to confide in him what really went on and how she had been taken prisoner and beaten by two lieutenants.
She paused for several moments, lips pursed into a thin line in an attempt to remain calm and not break down like she wanted to. Her carefully crafted mask was slipping and he was about to see the terrified girl that was kept hidden from just about everyone; even her parents to a large extent.
Whatever sweet lines and words of comfort came to mind when she first replied died before he could say them as she continued speaking, elaborating a little bit more on the bigger picture of why she was there in the first place. Truthfully he couldn't have imagined anything worse than school or work being the cause, so when she mentioned the big "c" word he felt his heart plummet and found himself speechless. All he could do was watch, brows furrowing as he watched her fight to keep up her composure, heart slowly breaking as she broke the news to him. By the time she was done he couldn't really look at her for fear of breaking down as well.
It took him a few minutes to process what she just told him, eyes looking down at their joined hands. The entire time he was swallowing the constantly forming lump in his throat as he fought back his own tears. After a while he tried to speak and his throat caught, and despite his effort he felt a tingling in the bridge of his nose as tears started to form, soon threatening to spill over as he sighed.
"Well, that just..." he started quietly, unable to fight down a disbelieving smile. It was still something he had to wrap his mind around and get used to. "That really sucks, huh?" And that was all he could manage to say before he went silent for a moment longer, his focus once more on their hands. He brushed the pad of his thumb across her skin, absently drawing shapes as the last few months came back to him. He let himself get washed over by everything he felt for her before that moment, and he quickly realized how none of that had changed even after everything she just said.
He still wanted to see her smile, hear her laugh, and wipe her tears away. He still wanted to spend hours on the phone with her or vegging in front of a TV with her, cuddled up and perfectly comfortable and content. He still wanted to walk her home and shower her with gifts and see that shy blush of hers whenever they kissed. He still wanted to make her feel special, safe and loved, and at the end of the day he still really just...wanted to be with her. Plain and simple.
Tristan cleared his throat before looking up, eyes glassy as he still tried (and failed) to fight back a downpour of tears. "I said we'd figure things out together, right?" he asked as he squeezed her hand gently. "This doesn't change that, not for me. So..." He scooted a little closer, smile bright despite the tear that slid down his cheek. "This isn't gonna chase me away, if that's the reason you didn't tell me about this before. I'm a little surprised, and honestly a little scared, but I'm not going anywhere. And you know, I already always worry about you so please don't feel guilty about that, alright? This doesn't change my opinion of you, and it definitely doesn't change how I feel about you or the fact that I want to be with you."
He gave her hand another little squeeze before continuing. "So don't tell me to go, please? Good and bad, I wanna be here through all of it. And I'll be here, Hannah. I promise."
By the time he finished speaking the growing lump in her throat reached a near suffocating size.
Steady trails of tears rolled down her face in silent sobs which caused her body to tremble beside him. “I’m sorry,” she managed to whisper almost too quietly to hear. “I thought… I just thought that...”
Hannah took hold of the blanket and used it to wipe her eyes. It did little to stymie the flow and only served to blot the fabric darker damp hue.
In this moment it felt as if her heart were but a piece of glass left standing precariously on a point. All it seemed to take was the barest of breezes to cause it to fall and break into hundreds of small shards. It hurt, and yet it didn’t; not in the way someone would think.
For far too long she had been wearing a mask, one she only took off around her childhood friend but when their friendship felt like it had taken an unexpected turn and she was left standing alone where their paths diverged. The silence was hard to get use to but then somehow an unexpected face had pulled her from the rain.
In the moment where she had accepted this is where her life was heading, Tristan showed her that there was another way; he had made her feel more than special, he made her feel loved. “I thought that.. If I told you. That things between us would change.”
Hannah drew in a ragged breath to try and calm herself to no avail. The walls she’d built up over the last four years were crumbling and she was helpless to keep it from turning into nothing but dust. “I’m sorry Tristan,” she repeated remorsefully “I’m sorry…”
For as long as he'd known her he always thought her to be a sensitive girl, strong hearted but somehow in need of protecting. In that moment he saw how strong she was, how brave she had to be to put on a straight face to the world while she fought such an uphill battle that was all her own. And he realized that rather than protection, she needed support more than anything. Someone to lean on, a shoulder to cry on...
It was her battle, but if she let him he was more than willing to be among those that helped her back on her feet if she ever stumbled along the way.
So her apology was met with that same bright smile he saved specifically for her, one as full of love and understanding as someone as young and as head over heels as he was. Tristan shook his head slightly and lifted both hands to rest on her tear-stained cheeks, brushing the pads of his thumbs gently across the damp skin in a more literal attempt to wipe her tears away before he leaned in, resting his forehead gently against hers.
"Nothing's changed," he reassured her, voice at a whisper as he pulled her into a hug in an attempt to calm her down. "It's alright now, okay? I'm not going anywhere..."
Unable to verbally respond Hannah’s eyes slid behind damp lashes and nodded her head numbly.
When she had finally accepted the way thing were before determined how they were meant to be and her fight to keep trying and to hold onto her neutrality in the war as well as her own desire to keep on fighting was at an end Tristan had walked into her life as if there had never been a door built to keep him out.
She didn’t know what she had done to have deserved such a blessing but with him close by it felt like everything would be alright. Somehow he had become the light at the end of a long tunnel and with Tristan here, right now, she felt she had not felt in a long time; hope.
Hannah’s grip was weak but still she managed to reach out and hold on to the fabric of his shirt as she fought with her own mind to quiet the voice that begged to ask the question “why?”.
Why are you so kind to me especially after I’ve kept something like this from you? Her thoughts began to wonder and soon she looked away from the light that was him at the end of the long tunnel; but she spoke not a word. The worst part about being in the hospital was never the needles; not really anyway. It was waking up alone, in an empty white walled room with the murmuring sound of strangers out in the hallway shuffling by in their busy day-to-day lives helping other patients.
And yet… he came. When she needed him the most, he came.But what more than him being here was that, even after Hannah told him the truth about her illness, he stayed.
Despite his best efforts to wipe her tears away they continued to flow freely from red rimmed eyes. I’m sorry her mind repeated the mantra over and over again as her body shook against his. She had tried strong for far too long, to the point that she had convinced herself that everything was fine but with him here that illusion crumbled and for the first time in a long while she could simply be.
And for however long she needed him to, and beyond even that, Tristan would be there as promised. He held her gently, his own tears still damp against his skin despite no longer flowing, and he whispered words of comfort quietly and reassuringly but he let her be. When he could he would lightly press his lips against her hair or her temple, smiling gentle as he sat there with her and simply waited. She needed to cry, let it out...she was a fighter but even fighters needed breaks, and by the looks of things she was long overdue for one.
[quote="_ p a o cx]One of the follow ups to Revelation Backlogged to March-April 2016