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ProtoWolf 2.0 Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:33 pm
[Ladies and gentlemen please welcome... the Owner and CEO of Bad Blood Wrestling, the One True King, the System, the State of the Art, The Single Longest Active In-Ring Competitor In The History Of This World, Greatness at it's Greatest, and the best of The Best... Your host for BBW Solar Slam and the most influential man in professional wrestling, the man who weathered the Storm...]
[ Kelly King 2 . 0! ] Counting All The Assholes In The Room
Well I'm Definitely Not Alone... Well I'm Not Alone.
You're A Liar You're A Cheater You're A Fool
Well That's Just Like Me Ooohoo. And I Know You Too
Mr. Perfect Don't Exist My Little Friend And I Tell You That Again, And I Do It Again Counting All The Assholes In The Room Well I'm Definitely Not Alone. Well I'm Not Alone. The fans. Oh they boo'd. They boo'd during the entirety of the intro for King, they boo'd through the memorable theme music, they even boo'd the ring announcer himself for going through with the script on the ego boosting. It had been a long time since Matt Shanahan and Kelly King 2.0 had gone to war at Spring in the Ring and neither man had been seen since the event, licking their wounds and in some cases, mending bones. However as the song and the lights strummed along, here came the victorious Kelly King 2.0, holding the OECW Seasons Championship Belt. The ring itself was set up with a black apron, and a large pedestal in the middle. The pedestal already hosted something atop it, but it was covered up with a black cloth so it was impossible to tell what it was.
King also had his microphone in his hand and he looked like he was in great health and spirit, wearing a s**t-eating grin that he'd been working on getting trademarked for years now. He basked in the sound of the booing crowd. His crowd. His event. His company. King slowly made his way down to the ring, flipping the OECW Championship onto his shoulder as he walked, obviously ready to make an announcement about the championship finals to take place during this amazing two-day event. King was careful not to get any sand on his shoes as he walked, however he was unable to keep them clean and as he got to the steel steps, he ordered one of the attendants at ringside to come over and dust off his shoes... in the middle of a beach. Looking indignant as he walked up the stairs, he made a mental note to fire that attendant later for not doing a good enough job.
His music finally died down as the summer sun blazed down on him in the middle of the ring. People had to respect that he was still wearing his heavy suit despite this.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Solar Slam... and it's good to be back where I belong, here in the BBW ring. Now, I don't want to take up too much time here today to talk about my match with Matt Shanahan at Spring in the Ring... You should all go back and watch that match as soon as it is available on Blu-ray and DVD. Watch was two men come together in the middle of a rainstorm to fight for the fate of the company. Watch as I smote Matt Shanahan in the middle of this ring and finally claimed the justice that eluded me for so many years. Watch as I withstand the Storm and come out stronger than ever before." King started his PPV Opening Monologue.
"And now, here I stand, still your GM, CEO and Owner of Bad Blood Wrestling, the primary benefactor of the company, just as it always should have been. Under my guidance BBW has become a global phenomenon of epic proportion, and one of the most watched shows on HBO, thank you very much. And it is because of my leadership, not in spite of it, that we have progressed to the second annual Solar Slam. This epic two day event will crescendo with an epic desert storm Hell in a Cell match between BBW World Champion Xavier X and... an opponent of my choosing. I'm sure a man of Xavier's..." King thought for a moment and then brought out the air quotes and a considerable amount of sarcasm for his choice of word; "'Skill' should be able to handle a rigorous and impromptu Hell in a Cell match. I mean... I could do it." He said with a shrug.
"However, that is not the only thing that will happen during this monumental two day Pay-per-view. We will also finally crown a new champion in BBW. The OECW Seasons belt has been vacant for a few months now... and it will remain so. You see, it is time for BBW to shed it's old skins. A new leader in BBW means a new world of competition, one that Matthias Landry and Commander Rhorus have exemplified all month long. So, it is with great pleasure that I announce that these two atheletes will compete not to become the OECW Seasons Champion, but instead to become..." King said as he gently set the OECW title on the mat and turned instead to the pedestal that had been waiting in the ring for his attention the whole time. He put his hand on the cloth and suddenly whipped it away to reveal... "The new BBW Seasons Championship. Because my BBW deserves only the best, and the best of the best of the Best... is a brand new BBW Seasons Championship. Now everyone, I encourage you to enjoy the festivities... and to all the wrestlers in the back who might seek to question my authority... I urge you to strongly reconsider. I can be very affluent for my supporters... and as Matt Shanahan will tell you... I can end my enemies with a swift wave of my hand."
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:05 pm
My songs know what you did in the DAAAAAAAAARK...
As if the audience didn't have enough to boo by this point, out came the I infinitely frustrating, and newest member of the Sharpshooter Society, Matthias Landry. Mic in hand, Matthias confidently strut down the ramp towards the ring as the chorus of the festival going wrestling fans tried to drown out his music with boos, and Matthias replied by blowing kisses back to his 'adoring fans'. He seemed to be enjoying nothing more than the hatred of these people. Finally he got in the ring, on the brink of fake tears, thanking the fans for booing him as if they were cheers.
When he finally got in to the ring, his eyes were transfixed on the title, eyeing it like it was a pretty woman and he had a perfect view of her a**, even making the curving motion with his hands as he admired the curve and appeal of the championship belt. He walked right by 'uncle King' and stepped up to the belt, softly measuring it for his own hips, before finally speaking through the mic.
"Daaaaaaaaaaamn King...she does look pretty. But, just like everything else in life, it would look SO much nicer on me. Now you got my measurements right? I mean I'm a bit leaner than the average fatass gym rat you got under contract here, you know because I actually LIKE my body. You know I'm not like these hicks out here, who are stupid enough to pay for two days of tickets for one show. Seriously, I honestly can't believe anyone would buy a ticket for today's event, knowing that tomorrow is the REAL main event. And I'm not talking about that bullshit "world title" match you just booked against a "mystery contender", bro, I get it, you expected me to walk away from that unprofessional loser Kujaku just like everyone else and disqualify myself from the Seasons Championship tournament so you could book me for the World Title match. I'm sorry I ruined your surprise, but don't worry, you can book me against him next week and I'll win that title too. No, I'm talking about the REEEAAAAAL main event! Matthias Landry vs. Fox MCcloud! Err...Sergeant Pepper...Slippy Toad? Star Lord? I'm sorry, he really wasn't worth doing the research on. But it's for the NEEEEEEEEW BEE BEE DOUBLEYOU SEASONS CHAMPIONSHIP! That's what they're all here to see, that's what the Main Event is all about, everyone is here to see The Phoenix Risen win that belt right there, and continue the dominance that the Sharpshooter Society has over this one ring circus. So on that note, I hope you don't mind if I slip this puppy on? I mean I wanna make sure I get this on just the right clasp when I win it tomorrow night."
Matthias lowered his microphone and grabbed the belt, admiring it before sliding it around his waist, relishing the feel of the leather and gold on his all too deserving skin.
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ProtoWolf 2.0 Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2015 7:01 pm
King watched as his godson, the stupid adorable fool that he was, came down to the ring and appropriated himself in the middle of King's egotistical party for himself. He slowly walked over, tentatively reaching out as he looked at Matthias, shaking his head, before snatching the new belt from around Matty's waist and taking it back.
"Uh... no."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 5:49 pm
That...genuinely confused Matthias, and he stared at King as he took the title away from him. He paused, a little dumbfounded.
"What um...what do you mean...No?"
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ProtoWolf 2.0 Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:25 pm
"Look... Matthias... it's just that... you're..." King started, holding the title and putting it over his own shoulder so that he could free up his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in thought. King seemed wracked for words, trying to think of the least offensive way to put this to his god-son.
"It's just that... you're... terrible. You're god awful. You're... literally the worst. It's hard to look at you without vomiting a little bit in my mouth. You're definitely the single worst wrestler I've ever met in the long history of my career."
"No offense." King added that last part with a hand up in front of him.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:49 pm
Matthias looked at King like he was solving a complex physics problem, in Egyptian. It didn't make sense to him one bit.
"Is uh...is it possible to arrange words like that in a sentence in the English language? Because that was all jibberish to me. You sounded like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons. But I understand! I get what you're trying to say, we have to have the match first, even though it's a formality. We gotta do the paperwork and sign the title responsibility papers, all very political I know, I get it, you're covering your a** legally. Just make sure it's nice and shiny, clean up that leather and all that, when I win we can talk about designing the side plates, I got some creative ideas for yah."
Matthias was all smiles now, delusional by his own arrogance, and he headed towards the ropes to leave.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 12:36 pm
"Whoa now. Slow down there, Matthias. We're not quite finished here yet."
A hitherto seldom-heard voice boomed for the audience, and the competitors, to hear. A low, bass rumbling accompanied the charming twist of an American accent. On the titantron, Commander Rhorus appeared, to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He smiled, one eye closing as he stood to attention. The camera slowly zoomed out, revealing a few people (of all colours and genders), in unfamiliar military uniform, at strange looking workstations. Behind them is a window showing... Earth. They are surrounded by the vast, cold emptiness of the final frontier.
Despite all this enigmatic beauty, Rhorus' gaze was fixed firmly on the ring. Well, the camera lense. You know what I mean.
"Now, Mr. Landry, I respect the cut of your jib. Truly, I mean that. You seem like a fine gentleman, and nobody is going to deny that you've earned your place in the finals here tonight... well, nobody except for Mr. King right there. But regardless, he's definitely right about one thing. Two, actually."
Rhorus looked to the side for a second, a slight chuckle escaping him, causing his chest to bump up. He looked back to the camera.
"Well, three, but who's counting?
But Mr. King did one thing right by me, and that's keeping that title from around your waist. Now, I'm not one to comment on your little Earthly social matters, but I will say that you have no right to hold that title. You have no right to touch it. Hell, you shouldn't even be in the reflections of light from its eminence. No, Matthias, you need to be steady here, because that title is a target. Look behind me, would you kindly?"
The camera pans left, zooming in on a workstation.
"Do you see that? That's the console for a Mark III High-Frequency Pulse Cannon. Or, as we like to call it rather colloquially, the Space Zapper. It can destroy a planet from two-hundred thousand miles away. It never misses its target. Let me tell you something, Matthias - a ship is only as good as its captain, and the Galactic Dogs run the Mariner flawlessly. That belt is my target. I don't intend to miss."
The camera pulls back to Rhorus.
"Sorry, I'm feeling rather more verbose today than usual, so you'll have to excuse the overly long metaphor. Must be last-minute excitement. Let's come back down to Earth for a moment. Literally, if you please."
As if by magic, a group of armoured men jump out from over the barricade, four in total. Clad in black, with helmets concealing their faces, they made their way to the ring. They had a strange logo on their arms, and on their back was written, in grey, "Galactic Dogs Special Task Force B."
"Now, I'm not stupid enough to come to blows with you before our match, but I'm definitely not stupid enough to let you come into it free from harm, now. Sick 'em, boys. And don't be too gentle. We don't need him alive, we just need the title. Commander out."
On command, the four men slid under the bottom rope, ready to strike!
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2015 4:10 pm
Matthias could barely watch the space odd-icy unfold, shaking his head with a palm over his face, he honestly couldn't believe he had to deal with this two weeks in a row. When he was done, he found himself surrounded by power ranger fight scene fodder, I mean masked enemies...wait...am I a narrator? Why am I correcting myself and not just correcting the mistake I typed? WHO AM I?
*Sounds of someone being bound and gagged and dragged away screaming*
New voice: Matthias didn't have anywhere to go, and didn't seem too worried for some reason...the henchmen attacked, grabbing Matthias by his arms and his back, immobilizing him...until a huge flash emminated from Matthias! He had ignited the fire pads he used during his entrance, hidden beneath his clothes!
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