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 Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 10:38 pm
If you have kids, do you or are you going to raise them pagan? I never seriously heard about pagans in modern time until about 8th grade (I'm about to be in 11th) when my friend was starting to become a fluffy bunny. xD
I'm just like of wondering out loud here so yea... sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:08 am
I've not been raising my kids in any particular faith, though my oldest is aware that I am "Pagan". However I've not really discussed any specifics with him. He's been to things like Pagan Pride Day, and at least one Meet-Up with me though.
Overall I believe in letting my kids choose for themselves, and encourage them to read, study, etc... I'm pretty sure that my son isn't overly fond of Christianity though (or at least not ultra-Conservative branches).
It depends too on how your spouse/significant other feels about it as well though, as mine isn't particularly Pagan or otherwise (though he does have somewhat of an interest in Heathenry). He's not very "witchcraft" friendly though - better than he used to be about it, but still has some issues. So makes it hard to have any family traditions - though we will sometimes mark the Sabbats in some way as a family.
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:32 am
I don't have kids, and I never will. Even if I did, I don't think I would specifically raise my children Pagan. I believe very much that they should be allowed to experience and choose their own way, as I did.
That doesn't mean I wouldn't share my practices or experiences with them, if it was appropriate and they were interested. But that has to be their choice. I was raised by an atheist and an agnostic. I was raised to be a good citizen, and taught how to function in our society. That, to me, is a perfectly acceptable type of morality, and one I'd want my children to have. I don't necessarily feel that a religious morality is mandatory. Secular humanism may be godless, but it isn't lacking in morality or standards.
I had the freedom to look around at all religions without prejudice, to join friends and family and experience their faith practices, and enough respect from my parents as an individual that I could make my own choices. I would want my own children to have the same. In households where both parents are Pagan, it might be different. But my husband is not a pagan, and was raised very much as I was. So we'd both be comfortable with leaving out a religious upbringing.
And you can lead a kid to water but can't make them drink! My high priesthood have adult children from previous marriages - and none of them are practicing Pagans, let alone initiated Wiccans. They simply weren't interested...and one went so far to 'rebel' by rejecting her mother's religion and becoming a Roman Catholic.
It's largely moot. I do not have children. My nieces and nephews may someday ask me about my religion, but I will need to respect their parents' faiths and wishes. I can't see my brothers minding terribly if their kids ask me about it, but my husband's brother and sister-in-law are raising their children Greek Orthodox. So I tread lightly. It's not really an issue since I'm already highly private about my practices and beliefs, I don't wear obvious symbols around the children, and I'm not one to bring it up.
I have a god-daughter to whom I have an obligation to educate and aid with her religious experience as she grows, should she ask it of me.
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:37 am
I don't know if Annette and I will adopt, or maybe somehow have children- but I want to raise them with ethics training like what I'm getting in the philosophy class I'm taking- and then let them pick what they want to be religiously.
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Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:49 pm
too2sweet I've not been raising my kids in any particular faith, though my oldest is aware that I am "Pagan". However I've not really discussed any specifics with him. He's been to things like Pagan Pride Day, and at least one Meet-Up with me though. Overall I believe in letting my kids choose for themselves, and encourage them to read, study, etc... I'm pretty sure that my son isn't overly fond of Christianity though (or at least not ultra-Conservative branches). It depends too on how your spouse/significant other feels about it as well though, as mine isn't particularly Pagan or otherwise (though he does have somewhat of an interest in Heathenry). He's not very "witchcraft" friendly though - better than he used to be about it, but still has some issues. So makes it hard to have any family traditions - though we will sometimes mark the Sabbats in some way as a family. Well my parents always raised me saying that I could pick any religion I wanted. They're atheist so naturally growing up around them I am mostly atheist. For some reason (even though my aunt used to be some sort of pagan) they act differently when I ask them things related to paganism then they do if I asked about an more main stream religion.
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Posted: Wed Jul 25, 2012 6:35 am
I was raised a Catholic and I had no choice about it - I was baptised a month after I was born. I'd like to think that if I ever had kids I'd let them choose for themselves and not force them into anything while they're little. Thankfully my boyfriend agrees with me as he was raised being allowed to choose his own beliefs (he's not baptised as far as I know but he does follow Christianity to a degree).
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:04 pm
I'm Christian, but I also practice the Craft. I don't plan on having any kids, but if I ever do I'd raise them in the Church. However, the difference between their childhood and mine is that they would be allowed to make the choice. I wouldn't try to force anything down their throat, but I'd try to educate them. Not just on Christianity or Paganism, but on all religions. Even if you don't practice them, it's important to learn about a variety of cultures.
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:06 pm
Staring Berry Well my parents always raised me saying that I could pick any religion I wanted. They're atheist so naturally growing up around them I am mostly atheist. For some reason (even though my aunt used to be some sort of pagan) they act differently when I ask them things related to paganism then they do if I asked about an more main stream religion. I can offer a perspective on that. You may simply have very conservative parents. I know mine were. They were fine with whatever intellectual explorations I did, so long as they didn't have to do or go anywhere. They were more resistant to certain ideas that others, though, simply because they were primarily concerned about how my actions and choices would reflect upon them. Both of them were raised by parents who made it very clear that appearances mattered more than personal expression or desires - anything that made people think less of them automatically transferred to their parents, and so wasn't an option. So it may not really be about you - they may be concerned with themselves primarily, not wanting to deal with anything that may spill over to them from you. It isn't a great reason, to my thinking, but it may be at work in your situation.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:05 am
Dr. H. Lecter I'm Christian, but I also practice the Craft. I don't plan on having any kids, but if I ever do I'd raise them in the Church. However, the difference between their childhood and mine is that they would be allowed to make the choice. I wouldn't try to force anything down their throat, but I'd try to educate them. Not just on Christianity or Paganism, but on all religions. Even if you don't practice them, it's important to learn about a variety of cultures. But the majority of kids being raised by going to church everyday end up staying with that church because its what they know the best. They're are some rare cases like my dad who didn't stay Mormon. But most likely they'll stay with what they know.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:13 am
Staring Berry But the majority of kids being raised by going to church everyday end up staying with that church because its what they know the best. They're are some rare cases like my dad who didn't stay Mormon. But most likely they'll stay with what they know. In my psych class we learned that usually teens start to look at lots of stuff they were raised with and pick and choose what they liked and dump what they didn't- if the church is supportive and good for them, what's wrong with them choosing it?
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:18 am
Esiris Staring Berry But the majority of kids being raised by going to church everyday end up staying with that church because its what they know the best. They're are some rare cases like my dad who didn't stay Mormon. But most likely they'll stay with what they know. In my psych class we learned that usually teens start to look at lots of stuff they were raised with and pick and choose what they liked and dump what they didn't- if the church is supportive and good for them, what's wrong with them choosing it? Its not. I'm just saying letting them chose for themselves by putting them in a church is not totally letting them chose.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:29 am
Staring Berry Its not. I'm just saying letting them chose for themselves by putting them in a church is not totally letting them chose. I don't think that's true in the same way that I don't think having democrats for parents is forcing a child to be a democrat.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:29 am
I have a son, and he has not been raised Pagan. But my husband is also not Pagan (he is very much an athiest). I am more than happy to discuss stuff with my son about any religion, but he hasn't shown a lot of interest in any...in fact he recently said to a relative that he was an athiest.
He is just now in middle school, so while I haven't been super secretive about what I believe and practice, I haven't been overly loud around the house either. I am not sure he knows what I believe, but we have talked about things that I consider part of my practice (such as sending positive energy or prayers to someone who is sick or using affirmation statements).
My parents (and much of my family) are holiday Christians. I know both my parents are believers, they just aren't much on going to church every weekend. When I was little, we would go to our neighbors church for the Christmas special service (where the kids would act out the nativity story) and would pick some church to go to Easter service at, but other than that there wasn't much religion in our house. Easter was about eggs and the Easter bunny, Christmas we did read the nativity story every year, but it was more about Santa at our house.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:49 am
Hopefully, by the time I have children, I'll have a better idea of what my path is (I'm still figuring things out) so that I have something solid to teach them.
I don't plan on raising my (probable) children specifically Pagan*, but I do want to be able to explain to them what I believe, and why, and give them the option to participate in my religion with me. I certainly don't want to hide my religion from my children, even in some hope that this will let them make their own choices (I do want them to make their own choices, though; don't get me wrong), because then they will likely only learn that Paganism is shameful, something to hide away, and keep secret.
My boyfriend is an atheist, and I hope that will balance things out, and let our future children realise that religion (or lack thereof) is a choice they can make for themselves, and still get along perfectly fine with people of differing beliefs (after all, their parents do). And of course, we'll both teach our future children to be good, ethical people regardless of what religion they eventually end up with.
* That phrase, "raising children as X" always sounds to me like "forcing my children to be X", and while I intend to share my practices with my children, I certainly don't intend to force them to be any particular religion, which is why I tend to think of it as not raising them to be specifically Pagan.
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Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:46 pm
I come from a family where my father was once Catholic - but he didn't go to church or any other christian event. Not even Christmas mass. And my mother always stated she had no religion. I'm not sure if that would make her an Atheist either tho...
I have kids, a 3,5 yr and a 1,5 yr old. I raise them having respect for nature, to be thankful to the earth for feeding us and for the abundance we have in live. I teach them to do as they will, if it harm none. To be kind to all creatures around them (including their sibling!! >.< rofl )
I teach them where our food comes from, veggies, dairy, but also meats. It's their choice if they want to eat meat or not. (I'm not a vegetarian, well, part-time maybe. Meat is on our menu less than once a week).
I discuss with them the flow of the seasons, teach them songs about it, tell them stories about it and fairy tales. We have a nature table in our home and our own vegetable garden and chickens in the backyard.
If this is a pagan upbringing, it's fine by me.
I'm not planning taking them into rituals with me, the ones I attend and organise myself.
But I have and will bring them to the occasional 'open ritual'. In my experience open rituals are great to feel a connection with other Pagan people around you, but real magic work isn't done there.
The 'see what you do' upbringing is fine for other people. But I think there is value in a specific religious upbringing.
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