Appearance: Fiona stands out. She always has. Her hair is the brightest of blondes and her eyes are the brightest of blues. Even her nose is pointy, one can almost imagine a little bell dangling on the end. If one were to do so, no doubt she'd sneeze and one would appear. Her Idiocy is like that. This Lady of the Idiots stands a little taller than the average woman and does not have the normal "womanly" body. She's build like a gymnast: lean, tall and practically boobless.Name: Fiona Fifi Foolsfoot, aka Fifi or Bumblebee (though it is recommended not to mention any nickname in her presence). Foolsfoot is a type of foot fungus that Idiots tend to get. Fiona blames this on their filthy hygiene but even she gets it occasionally and she's such a clean freak that she scrubs her feet after brushing her teeth (as opposed to before as this may end in her getting foot fungus in her mouth).
Age: Twenty
Biography: Fiona is an Idiot born and bred. Fiona's father was a Village Idiot with the Village Idiot's Association. The first son of a Village Idiot is always male, and sometimes the second too. The problem was, Fiona's father, Johnitheen, was such a fool that he produced a female son instead. Nobody knows why this happened but it has been the bane of Fiona's life. As first the Village Idiots on their cross-country monocycles thought it was not possible. A son without a winky, why they never! Fiona could not possibly be a Village Idiot. Maybe Johnitheen's Idiotic blood had run too thin... maybe... maybe... maybe not.
Fiona was an Idiot.
She had the ability; she had the imagination. Even before she could talk she was making puppet shows about a Poppa Poo Poo and his gang of brightly coloured miscreants. By the time it came for her to go to the Village Idiot Academy there was no doubt that she was one of them, except she wasn't. Everyone knows a Village Idiot is the son of another Village Idiot. How could a girl be a son? There was a lot of controversy surrounding Fiona during her schooling years and she become both very popular and very unpopular. It seemed everywhere she went she had to make some stand, show someone up or generally rub someone the wrong way. At least that was how her teachers felt. Her only friend was a chubby Loon called Calim (Loon is language made topsy-turvy), she actually learned to read (something most unprofessional) then there was the incident with the rolling glove, Red Suspenders (son of the renowned ring master Big Suspenders) and Dr Funny Bones.
Everything seemed to settle down a while when Fiona was called to the hated Dr Funny Bones. It turned out Fiona's mother had died of in-flew-Enza and Fiona was to pack her bags for immediate travel back to her home in Hyote (pronounce high-oat). As usual Johnitheen was no help so Fiona had to take care of her little brother, Johnathen, during the funeral process and until Johnithen and Johnitheen got back on track. When she got back, however, things had changed. Fiona had boobs. They weren't big boobs but when you lived in a private school for sons it didn't really matter. After that things got nasty; Fiona got nasty. It was only through Calim's support and her support of him that she was able to get through the last years of her education and as soon as she graduated, she was gone. She was not going to perform for them, she was not going to teach for them, she was not going to be part of them. She ran and she's been running ever since, which brings us to her current situation.
After being on the run for a few years: stealing, fighting, killing and practically castrating people, Fiona received a letter. The first odd thing about this was that someone had actually given her a letter but what was even more odd was that it wasn't from the Village Idiot's Association (not that many Idiots can write more than their first name). It was an invitation. Alas for Fiona, it failed to mention that she was being invited as a slave. No doubt she'll try to escape but it will undoubtedly fail. Sparks will fly, bedding will turn into a pack of llamas and luminescent footprints will explode.
Personality: Fiona is a foul-mouthed, loathsome b***h with a chip on her shoulder the size of the Grand Canyon. She'll hit anyone who looks at her the wrong way, whether they're a kitten, old lady or that nice guy that says hello to everyone as they pass. If they touch her they're dead. If they touch her stuff they're dead and if they make fun of her name they're, you guessed it, d-e-a-d. She can't stand any one of them: they don't give a flying donkey about her so why should she give a s**t about her. Yes, I said s**t. If you don't like swearing this isn't the slave for you. Fiona's language is as strong as her accent, which on occasion requires an interpreter to understand. Too bad Calim only speaks Loon. He may turn up too, as a cameo or visitor.
Abilities: Fiona is the Female Son of a Village Idiot, which means she uses Idiocy rather than magic. Heed this warning: magic and Idiocy do not mix. She is completely vulnerable to it. Any magic directed at her will hit or mutate and should magic and Idiocy clash there will be consequences.
In short, Idiocy is silliness given power. Fiona can create water balloons a plenty but cannot summon a cup of water, even if her life depends on it. She can fart fireworks but cannot light a fire. She can make her clothes into bright, obnoxious colours but she can't even make a pair of clean knickers. She can turn herself into a giant puppet with frilly bloomers but she cannot change back. It seems as though no matter what clothes she steals they always tend to run or change into something absolutely ludicrous. If it's silly, foolish, idiotic or just plain crazy she can probably do it... or at least she could if it would actually work.
Fiona's Idiocy is broken. She won't admit it but she has very little control over what she can do... and what she can not do. There are many theories why: maybe she suppresses it, maybe her connection to the Idiocy is disrupted or maybe she's missing a vital tool (like a wizard losing their wand). She can't always control her powers and they often turn against her. It's almost like they're sentient and out to get her. The more she tries to ignore it or the less of a handle she's got over her emotions the worse it gets. It's enough to drive someone insane! It won't stop.. it's always there waiting for a moment of weakness then tearing her apart at the seems. If she doesn't fight it, it will eventually destroy her mind and soul... unless she gives into it and returns to the Village Idiot's Association but that'll never happen. She's chosen her path and will not stray from it.
Master: Ⱦɑɍɏɳ ℒɑȼҽℓℓҽ
