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 Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:36 am
 Name: Azmodel Fereath Nicknames: usually just Az Gender: female Age: 15 Faction: Reaper Race: Valkyrie Natural Ability: Raven Messenger: Valkyries can conjure up a raven spirit to carry written messages. Personality: ¤ Azmodel was born in the pumpkin patch to an ancient line of Valkyries. They have raised her to be independent, and then they let her go wander Halloween to gain experience and learn more about life. ¤ Quite shy Azmodel most often will be hesitant to go talk to someone she doesn't know for fear of making a fool of herself. ... And believe me she is air-brained enough to do that just fine without help. Witch makes her clumsy as hell and it doesn't help. ¤ Usually Az makes friends by helping people who need it. Not by outwardly going to someone to befriend them. The Valkyrie is caring and loyal to her friends. At first she restrains her more erratic side for fear of people fleeing, but as she grows more comfortable it will show more and more. ¤ Because when the fancy strikes her she does have random bouts of crazyness, in good company of course. Beware of the lame jokes, lousy singing and hyper behavior she displays then. Just because she is linked to death doesn't mean she has to be sinister. All of Azmodel's good friends know that she's ab-so-lu-te-ly crazy. But they love her for it because it keeps them entertained. ¤ On the battlefield she will show no pity to those who dare attack her. Well as much as being unlucky allows her to. Epic fails are just so~~~~ unfair. sweatdrop Her sword has two ribbons attached to it, and when entering a new battle she will take a little prize from the ones she slays and use the ribbons to tie it to her weapon. It does wonders to make the other warriors stay clear of her. Of course she knows that if she was to be accepted in Amityville Academy she would have to give one of her pins to those who beat her, and it would be hard on her. But rules have to be followed so she would suck it up. And try to get revenge, niark! twisted They say "Hell has no fury like a Valkyrie scorned" after all. ¤ Azmodel has - as you might have realised- a little contradiction problem as far as her appearance goes. Everyone knows how Valkyries have made an impression on Norse civilisation. So one would expect her to wear an attire in consequence. But no, she decided to wear Victorian themed clothes. Why ? Just because she can. Well, that and the fact that it's much cuter. Not always the most comfortable for fighting but one has to deal with their choices. Be careful not to damage her dress, she would kill you for scratching it ! Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? To be able to meet people and learning as much as she can. They say curiosity killed the cat, but well death is just so not frightful to a Reaper. So she wants to know everything pertaining to Halloween. What made her want to join : the school's trip to the Four Clans. Too bad they were destroyed. FEAR Ability: « Bloodshed » : if one is as bad with aim as Azmodel is you can use Bloodshed to attack. This chant will enhance her sword's damage potential and her accuracy. (The Mind) Physical Description: 5"6 tall, Eye Colour: gold Hair Colour/Style:white strait hair reaching her calves held in a ponytail, with two bangs framing her face. Skin Colour: tan Clothing Style/Colours: Victorian dress, black, purple and white. Extra: In reference to the norse myth of the Valkyries Azmodel has taken to wearing feathers to look a little feral. Bigger ref sheet : Illustration
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 10:41 am
Hi, Az-san! I just wanted to say welcome to TiH, and thanks for showing interest and creating a quest! To help you get started we have lots of good info threads, I'm not sure if you had a chance to check them out so I will hotlink them for your convenience! heart New Quester's Guide - Good basic info about what to put on your form! FEAR Mechanics - a guide to creating a FEAR attack that works with our dice mechanics! I see you've read up a bit on your race of choice, and have chosen a racial Natural Ability, but be sure to include a description in your own words of how it works! As to what you have so far... For your age- at the moment she is too old to be an Amityville student, as most students are between the ages of 13-16, with some falling slightly above or below (only rarely) in their first year, so keep that in mind! You need to dig into her personality- generally a few paragraphs works really well - to convey her flaws and virtues and how they work to make her a unique character. There are a lot of ways to approach this- you can break it down into individual traits, or just have a summary description that covers everything, it's up to you! If you're not sure what I mean feel free to browse around at some of the other quests here to get an idea of the kind of formats I'm talking about. Also, another thing to keep in mind is that there are two Valkyrie students already at Amityville, Hel & Freya, so you will need to be mindful of the lore those players have already put in play. If you're not sure about something, feel free to ask in the Q&A thread. Also remember however that you cannot have Azmodel 'know' the other valkyrie unless you are given permission by thier characters. Currently, it is canon that all Valkyrie have wings (unless they are forcibly removed) so more than likely Azmodel would have to be a winged character. For your FEAR ability- AoE attacks are really only possible at Y2 or above, but you might be able to find a dice mechanic that suits you in the FEAR Mechanic forum that I linked earlier! Feel free to ask in the main thread or QnA if you have any questions about it! And finally, your answer to "Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy?" at the moment seems an OOC reason rather than an IC reason. What we want to know is, why did Azmodel decide to attend this school? 'Metaplots' don't exist in the world of our characters, after all! Perhaps she's heard about all the tumultuous events taking place there and wants to be in the middle of the action? Again, welcome to the community, and if you have any questions feel free to quote me and I will do my best to help you! biggrin Good luck!
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 7:25 pm
Ravvlet Hi, Az-san! I just wanted to say welcome to TiH, and thanks for showing interest and creating a quest! [...] Thank you for the welcome Ravvlet. I will work on what you said after work, hoping my brain won't be fried by then.
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 10:14 am
Hello, I've worked on what you told me was to be changed, please let me know if I'm getting better. Damn ref sheet took me forever ! But it's better ... maybe... well nowhere as good as what I would like it to be.
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 8:03 am
Hi again! Yes, it looks like you've added a lot of great new stuff. smile
Here are my tips for your latest updates:
Her natural ability reads a little like a FEAR ability, probably because it specifically says that it stops attacks. Natural abilities should not add to their battle prowess unless it ties directly into their FEAR attack, which this does not. Perhaps say instead that her Lament can evoke emotion in others...but not always the ones she desires, as she's not a very good singer? That way you can retain her offensive FEAR attack.
I see you have it written that she 'travelled the world'; do you mean the world of Halloween Town? Because unfortunately, students cannot enter the Human world (except through metaplot events). So, she wouldn't have any experience reaping FEAR from the dead- that's what she's going to school to learn about!
I like your details about her bouts of hyper activeness, but it might clash with her hesitance toward talking to new people or making a fool out of herself. This isn't to say you can't have both! Just be mindful of that conflict and try to explain how it works out. For example; maybe she can be hyperactive or act foolish around people she knows well, but acts bottled up/sedate around strangers. 'Clumsy' is not really a personality trait so much as it is...well, I guess something physical, but 'scatter brained' or 'careless' are, so perhaps write a little more about this attribute?
As for the collecting trophies from her enemies, students currently use a 'pin' system whereby they can chose to exchange pins once they've defeated a fellow student in battle, and it would be neat to see someone utilize this system as their personal 'war' trophies', so perhaps you could look into that instead of a 'prize'. Be mindful however that if SHE loses, she has to give someone else her own pin! How would she feel about that?
All in all I think you're going in the right direction and you should keep on plugging away at it!
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Posted: Wed May 09, 2012 10:25 am
Ravvlet Perhaps say instead that her Lament can evoke emotion in others...but not always the ones she desires, as she's not a very good singer? Hello, and this is a great idea ! smile Quote: I see you have it written that she 'travelled the world'; do you mean the world of Halloween Town? Because unfortunately, students cannot enter the Human world (except through metaplot events). Damn I had forgotten about that. But yes she would have traveled Halloween Town since she's got nothing else to do. Quote: I like your details about her bouts of hyper activeness, but it might clash with her hesitance toward talking to new people or making a fool out of herself. This isn't to say you can't have both! Just be mindful of that conflict and try to explain how it works out. For example; maybe she can be hyperactive or act foolish around people she knows well, but acts bottled up/sedate around strangers. That's exactly what I meant but I often forget to state the obvious... /goes back to working on her chara. edit : Oh my, evil typos be gone ! All better? ... ... I know, i've the the Socks Guild's mother for too long, there is no saving me. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 8:42 am
Heya ^^ What do you thing of the changes I made? Oh, and what are really the difference between a quest character and a student? I'm not sure I understood... stare
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 9:52 pm
Az-san Oh, and what are really the difference between a quest character and a student? I'm not sure I understood... stare Quest characters are potential students; RPs where you can play them are like 'open house' events. It's kind of like visiting a potential college before you decide to enroll, and of course with a school with the kind of exciting academic history that Amity has, there's a 'waiting list'. However, for all intents and purposes, the only difference between a 'quest' character and a 'student' is that a quest character hasn't been accepted to be enrolled yet! smile That having been said, I think you're on the right track. Be careful on that natural ability- it still reads as a battle technique when it should really be more of a 'flavor' RP move! And don't be afraid to ask in the main thread for others to crit, it always helps to get a second opinion on everything! Sorry for taking so long to reply heart And good luck with questing! smile Feel free to ask if you have any more questions~
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Posted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 3:16 pm
A few points for you to consider!
- Azmodel's natural ability still feels like a battle ability. It either calms or berserks another person - however, this wouldn't be likely to be a very useful ability outside a fight, especially since it's induced by song. The person she was using on would know it was being used and that they were being manipulated.
As well, roleplaying an action that affects the feelings or thoughts of another character risks being too close to godmoding. Saying that your character forces someone to calm down or become angry without their player's consent isn't a good thing.
I'd suggest something more general, if you want to use the song-related thing; maybe a melody that's very soothing/very irritating to anyone listening, but with the option of realizing that the effect is due to the music and resisting it.
- If she hatched from the pumpkin patch, she would have been born as a baby and grown up in the regular way, rather than being a fully formed adult at birth; even if she was hatched with a fully grown body, she'd still have to be taught to walk and talk and all the other things that babies learn. Without a family, she'd have a very hard time.
Also, since accidental babies aren't possible in this setting, it's very unlikely that the parents would have put their Fear into a pumpkin and then just abandoned it. Pumpkins that aren't cared for while the baby is forming may not hatch.
If you don't want her to have a family, you might want to just go the route of saying that she was just formed out of free-floating Fear rather than pumpkin-born.
- Since she is shy, how will you get her to interact with other students? Shy is a valid character trait and it can be very well done, but having a plan for getting your character to get around her shyness and talk to others is a good idea!
- I'm not sure what you mean by "random bouts of insanity." What you describe sounds more like goofy behavior than than any kind of mental illness or the Insanity condition that exists in shop canon. Could you clarify, please?
- Is she contrary in any way other than how she dresses? Is this a character trait that runs through her life in general, or is it an appearance quirk?
- Her Fear ability sounds more like The Mind, which influences accuracy, than Battle Cry, which is a simple powerful attack.
I look forward to seeing how she develops. :>
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 4:31 am
Thanks for your support ^^ thank you for your input, you gave me a lot to think about. I'm sorry it took me so long to answer but life has been a little overbearing as of late. - For her natural ability I had not understood that it had to be an everyday skill that could be useful in battle as well. I has to be a song from what I gather from the Walkyrie's sheet. I'll have to think of something. - I thought that all the characters had to be born from a pumpkin but since you say she could be born from floating fear I'll think about how I want her to be born more precisely. Could she be born from the fear generated by a huge battle in the real world that would have travelled to Halloween and birth her? Trojan war for example. There was such drama there a few others might have been born during those 10 years... One could have been her mentor and raised her? - Azmodel may be shy but she will always try to help people when they ask a question, or need help for a quest. It's how she usually make friends. And when she will go somewhere for a purpose she will start by saying "hi" and will wait for an opportunity to further interact with the others. - I did not mean Insanity, just random crazyness, I'll switch to that I think. - Point taken about the fear ability, I'll set on The Mind.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 10:52 am
Thanks for your consideration and your thoughtful answers! Az-san - For her natural ability I had not understood that it had to be an everyday skill that could be useful in battle as well. I has to be a song from what I gather from the Walkyrie's sheet. I'll have to think of something. I may have been unclear there - the natural ability does not have to be useful in battle. A natural ability is for use in roleplay, not as a specific battle ability. Az-san - I thought that all the characters had to be born from a pumpkin but since you say she could be born from floating fear I'll think about how I want her to be born more precisely. Could she be born from the fear generated by a huge battle in the real world that would have travelled to Halloween and birth her? Trojan war for example. There was such drama there a few others might have been born during those 10 years... One could have been her mentor and raised her? That's possible! You don't have to specify what event she came from, really, unless you want to. smile
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:53 pm
Prolixity Thanks for your consideration and your thoughtful answers! Az-san - For her natural ability I had not understood that it had to be an everyday skill that could be useful in battle as well. I has to be a song from what I gather from the Walkyrie's sheet. I'll have to think of something. I may have been unclear there - the natural ability does not have to be useful in battle. A natural ability is for use in roleplay, not as a specific battle ability. I am the one who should thank you for taking the time to read my quest and make comments on it. 3nodding And so fast too ! Quote: xNatural Ability: xxxxxxxxxx • Lament: Valkyries are said to be able to sing with a voice so sad it stops their opponents in their tracks. This is what the guide says, and what made me think it had to be, at least partially, a fighting ability. It is contradicting with another guide saying natural ability is not for fighting. I probably would have understood it if I wasn't a noob at RPing. Threw me in for a loop lol But I will find something ! Once my muse comes back from her unexpected vacation. sweatdrop I think I love the idea that she was born from the Illiad generated Fear. I'll work more on it. I hope I don't make too much mistakes since English is not my mother tongue.
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 7:15 pm
Some of the guides are a little older and less clear than the others. If you're confused, asking in one of the Q&A threads is always a good idea. smile Looks like you're on the right track - good luck with your quest! And don't worry, you're doing very well at English, really not making many more mistakes than a native speaker. If you're worried about that, you could ask someone in the thread or an English speaker you talk to to look things over for you and point out mistakes.
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Posted: Sun Jul 15, 2012 12:02 am
Thank you for your input. I implemented Azmodel's birth history, now on to the Lament ...
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Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:25 pm
At least I found an idea for the natural ability.*
Please let me now what you think of it !
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