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 Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:57 am
ғeel free to call me. . .
Kikie
υnless you're blind, you should see that I'm. . .
Female
чou think I'm what age? No, I'm. .
16
α lot of people say I'm. . .
Cold, a deep thinker, and Kind in a way.
I don't want to be cold.But it just happens.Like..
I can;t control my feelings.And because I am cold,
It's hard to be with anybody else than me.So i guess, I think alot.
can you blame me for what I am now? After all, I grew up. . .
By my foster Parents, because my parents had gaven up on raising me,
for the sake of their work.They were too busy to raise me. I was always alone, which made me cold and like to be my self .I was alone because...I was always shy .Mostly the effects were the fact that my foster parents
got easily mad, so I am afraid to say something infront of anybody.
αbilities? Yeah, I have . . .
A power to read creature's mind and make people's mood change
I aםore. . .
○ Cats
○ Roses
○ Books
○ being alone
єvery time one of these come into my life, things just go downhill . . .
○ Crowd of people
○ Loud noises
○ Big Mouths
○ jerk
мy House, Dorm, and Homeroom are. . .
House: Burner
Dorm: Violet
Homeroom: [Homeroom] 2-B
чou see, I'm controlled by . . .
Rose Kittens
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:58 pm
▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀
- ғυчυ αcαםємч -
cяєω Alright, well, you've got some things you need to work on before I can check this profile off as accepted.
The personality section, "A lot of people say I'm. . .", has a sentence minimum of 3 - 4. You currently have only one sentence.
The History, "I grew up. . .", needs a lot more. For Example:
What were her parents too busy with to raise their own child?
What were/was her foster parent(s) like?
Why was she always alone? Did she not have opportunities to make friends?
Finally, could you check over your spelling and grammar? It's a litte hard to read.
Quote me when you're ready for me to check back(:
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:20 pm
Arisee ▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀
- ғυчυ αcαםємч -
cяєω Alright, well, you've got some things you need to work on before I can check this profile off as accepted.
The personality section, "A lot of people say I'm. . .", has a sentence minimum of 3 - 4. You currently have only one sentence.
The History, "I grew up. . .", needs a lot more. For Example:
What were her parents too busy with to raise their own child?
What were/was her foster parent(s) like?
Why was she always alone? Did she not have opportunities to make friends?
Finally, could you check over your spelling and grammar? It's a litte hard to read.
Quote me when you're ready for me to check back(:
▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀ Thanks for the advices and your kind points. I'm sorry, I was busy and I just typed anything. I'm done now^^
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:38 pm
(_¸.•’´(_¸.•’´*♫♪ - ғυчυ αcαםємч cяєω - ♫♪*`’•.¸_)`’• .¸_) Rose Kittens Cold, a deep thinker, and Kind in a way.I don't want to be cold.But it just happens.Like.. I can;t control my feelings.And because I am cold, It's hard to be with anybody else than me.So i guess, I think alot. Rose Kittens By my Foster Parent s, because my parents have gave up raisng me,
on their work.They were too busy to raise me.I was always alone. Which mad me cold and like to be my self.I was alone because...I was always shy.Mostly the effects were the fact that my foster parents gets easily mad.So I am afraid to say something infront of any body.
My recommendations to correct the above issues is to...
xxxxxxx►Use either a word program with spell check or google Chrome to avoid spelling errors. Grammatical corrections, however, would only be recognized by a word program xxxxxxxsuch as Microsoft word or Star office, etc.
xxxxxxx►For your character's personality, try to expand on all personality traits as well as include the recommended suggestions (how your character reacts when they are angry, xxxxxxxsad, and happy) as well as basic character traits (such as kindness, coldness, or shyness around others).
xxxxxxx►For the bio, focus more on the events, rather than how she felt about them. Use your likes and dislikes to expand on your characters history. Was there an event that made xxxxxxxher dislikes crowds? Is there a reason why she likes roses over all other flowers or cats over other animals?
I hope these suggestions help you out!•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:40 pm
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- ғυчυ αcαםємч -
cяєω Haha, I've done that before c:
She looks good now, all I have to ask is that you always make sure to proof-read your posts for grammar and diction.
▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 6:50 pm
MY rusty h a l o (_¸.•’´(_¸.•’´*♫♪ - ғυчυ αcαםємч cяєω - ♫♪*`’•.¸_)`’• .¸_) Rose Kittens Cold, a deep thinker, and Kind in a way.I don't want to be cold.But it just happens.Like.. I can;t control my feelings.And because I am cold, It's hard to be with anybody else than me.So i guess, I think alot. Rose Kittens By my Foster Parent s, because my parents have gave up raisng me,
on their work.They were too busy to raise me.I was always alone. Which mad me cold and like to be my self.I was alone because...I was always shy.Mostly the effects were the fact that my foster parents gets easily mad.So I am afraid to say something infront of any body.
My recommendations to correct the above issues is to...
xxxxxxx►Use either a word program with spell check or google Chrome to avoid spelling errors. Grammatical corrections, however, would only be recognized by a word program xxxxxxxsuch as Microsoft word or Star office, etc.
xxxxxxx►For your character's personality, try to expand on all personality traits as well as include the recommended suggestions (how your character reacts when they are angry, xxxxxxxsad, and happy) as well as basic character traits (such as kindness, coldness, or shyness around others).
xxxxxxx►For the bio, focus more on the events, rather than how she felt about them. Use your likes and dislikes to expand on your characters history. Was there an event that made xxxxxxxher dislikes crowds? Is there a reason why she likes roses over all other flowers or cats over other animals?
I hope these suggestions help you out!•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*• Thanks! and don't feel bad..^^
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:42 pm
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- ғυчυ αcαםємч -
cяєω Burnar House, Violet Dorm!
Interested in a Student ID? Check it out!▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀▄▄▀
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:15 am
ғeel free to call me. . .
Lurie White
υnless you're blind, you should see that I'm. . .
Female
чou think I'm what age? No, I'm. .
16
The υniverse welcomed me on. . .
May 15th
α lot of people say I'm. . .
Sweet and Lovable girl.I guess I smile alot.Maybe too much.
But I can't help it. I like to smile...
can you blame me for what I am now? After all, I grew up. . .
From a large family.My siblings are in total 7.Yup, it is huge.
And the worst...I am the youngest.I never got too much attention.
Always a bothersome youngest...
αbilities? Yeah, I have . . .
Transforming into a cat.^^
I aםore. . .
○ Ice cream
○ Cats
○ Bells
○ Ribbon
єvery time one of these come into my life, things just go downhill . . .
○ meanies
○ Bully
○ Cold hearts
мy House, Dorm, and Homeroom are. . .
House: N/A
Dorm: N/A
Homeroom: 2-b
чou see, I'm controlled by . . .
Rose Kittens
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 3:18 am
ғeel free to call me. . .
Bella White
υnless you're blind, you should see that I'm. . .
Female
чou think I'm what age? No, I'm. .
16
The υniverse welcomed me on. . .
March 30th
α lot of people say I'm. . .
Likable.Just Likable.Not too much or too less.I'm normal..does that sound
alright? Sorry for being plain.And some call me wild sprited.
Wild is my middle name...
can you blame me for what I am now? After all, I grew up. . .
I have a younger brother.He is a adorable boy...Any way My mother and father
can be little bit too over protective.I can't even go to Supermarket with out my mom!
αbilities? Yeah, I have . . .
Music is my power....I don't know but that's my best.
I aםore. . .
○ head phone
○ Cats
○ green
○ Music
єvery time one of these come into my life, things just go downhill . . .
○ No music
○quietness
○ Cold hearts
мy House, Dorm, and Homeroom are. . .
House: N/A
Dorm: N/A
Homeroom: 2-b
чou see, I'm controlled by . . .
Rose Kittens
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:26 am
this profile looks very good... the only problem is that it is the same for both of these characters. please edit one of them and we'll proceed with sorting and housing.
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:43 pm
Masten December this profile looks very good... the only problem is that it is the same for both of these characters. please edit one of them and we'll proceed with sorting and housing. Thanks for the compliment.^^ and I have fixed it now.^^
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:18 pm
Masten December this profile looks very good... the only problem is that it is the same for both of these characters. please edit one of them and we'll proceed with sorting and housing. So where is their dorms?
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:21 pm
they're still almost exactly the same, my dear. -_- they need to have individual personalities, likes, dislikes, the whole shebang.
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:24 pm
Masten December they're still almost exactly the same, my dear. -_- they need to have individual personalities, likes, dislikes, the whole shebang. oooh.... sorry.I fixed it again.Does that look fine to you? ^^
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:32 pm
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