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 Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:45 pm
Okay. In the beginning, I labeled myself as bi. I still found girls very beautiful and probably sexy and thought it would be nice to have a family with kids of my own blood. I never really had crushes on girls though. Just one who I told myself it was only because she is my best friend and she's just the greatest person ever and the thought of having sex with her seemed... wrong.. I think it was just a puppy dog crush.. So after I "got over her", I told myself I was gay. I definitely find men more sexually attractive then girls. I thought I couldn't be bi because all my sexual fantasies only involved men. Now I'm not one of those gay guys that think v****a is gross or anything. I don't really see a difference between having sex with with a men or a woman. Sex is sex. But I don't think I would "enjoy" sex with a girl. Sometimes I just meet girls that have everything I want in a person. Love of anime, spectacular personality, and so on. Basically everything I want in a man, but they just have boobs and a v****a and I tell myself no you can't have her because she's a girl and you're gay..
Lately I've been thinking, "Oh maybe I'm homosexual but bi-romantic. Having only an emotional connection with people of the opposite sex." Is the problem me wanting to label everything? There are just so many ignorant people out there that don't understand the complicated spectrum of sexuality that I feel that I ave to try to conform to their needs...
I dunno. @_ @ Maybe I should just have sex with a girl and see how it goes...
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:29 pm
I kind of understand where you're coming from.
When I was much younger (14 or 15), and I first realized I was attracted to guys, I thought, "Ok, I must be bisexual."
Then, I came to the conclusion that no, actually, I was gay. I identified as gay until around the time I turned 20.
Then, things got kind of confusing. Suffice to say, I don't really consider myself bisexual, or homosexual, so I usually just say "queer", if I have to define it at all. I like who I like, and I just can't be bothered trying to define it any more.
I don't think sleeping with someone is a good way to try and figure out what your sexuality is, though. My first time having sex with a girl was awful. That's not to say that I could never enjoy being intimate with a girl, but for awhile, I was convinced that that was the case.
It's kind of cliche, but it's just one of those things that you'll figure out eventually, with time. (Or, in my case, you'll just stop caring.)
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:21 pm
Hmmm. It's kinda hard to pinpoint what your orientation would be. I'd say you're bi, especially if you're still attracted to women, but you have more of a preference to men, I guess? I don't know, it kind of sounds like you think of men sexually, and girls romantically.
Forgive me if that's not it, that's just how it sounds to me.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:35 pm
from personal experince
i hated guys and i still do even though i have been with one for almost 2 yrs
and i had girlfriends but they werent like omg i want her.
it was like a bi romantic thing like yours.you know?
and so i kissed them to see if i liked it and i did but it wsnt something i would do much only for fun or bc you know one day i would have a gf.
and a guy is more comftorable and all.
which ever you feel more YOU around is the one you are. if its both,then ok,both. we are human an we are going to want to curious sometimes and wnat to find ourselves.so im guessing it really in YOUR HEART AND MIND.
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 1:27 am
hmmm im still having problems with it myself, but i'd say. OUT WITH THE LABELS!!!! if you label yourself and behaviours, you'll feel like you have to act to fit the label. you like who like. i'd say just stick with bi as its nice an general and allows you too like either a man or a woman should you choose too. and really should try both men and women and see how it goes. you dont necessarily have to like one more than the other or just one.
(yes. i hate labels .not just cuz they confuse me and i have no idea which i fall under. i just hate classifiying and seperating people)
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:55 am
really, don't try to "box" your sexuality into a set of rules that you'll follow for the rest of your life. it is not a life or death situation, so is it imperative you set in stone whether you're bi or straight or gay or whatever? no. lables are confusing to others and to you, and then you'll get into another emotional dillema like this one later in life when you don't feel your sexuality matches what you labled it as. like who you like when you like them.
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:19 am
i can kinda see where your coming from wit this.
back when i was in middle school, i did have crushes on certain girls (back when i didnt realize i was gay) and i would flirt with them and chase them around. But one time, I went to a pool party with my guy friends back in 7th grade (or 6th...cant remember biggrin ) and i noticed one of my friends shirtless. he was slightly tanned, muscular, blue eyes, dark hair ( heart heart heart ) and thats when I realized I might like boys instead of girls. Then in 8th grade, I saw this cute guy changing and I was staring at...well anyway, I found I was more attracted to him then most of the girls.
I tried to keep my homosexuality a secret in high school by dating girls, but I didnt really feel anything towards them, romantically or sexually. The last girl I dated didnt work too well, and I was battling my inner thoughts throughout those four years. It was in my 1st yr of college that I finally accepted I was gay and planned to come out, but I shied away thinking everyone would hate me. So, in April 1, 2011, I took a deep breath and told everyone the truth. They still loved me after all that....
But i digress. Simply put, I had wet dreams of hot guys like you did and I never found girls to be sexually appealing. I dont think you are bi, but actually you are gay. And say it loud and proud. Dont be afraid of who you are and live with a smile. You dont have to think vaginas and breasts are gross. Just simply put this to thought, "I see a woman, but I dont feel anything towards her. I'd rather be with that cute boy over there than that girl right there." ....or something like that
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Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:54 pm
Thanks for the insight everyone. ♥
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