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I mean, the actual word for them is urine or feces. Where the hell did they get the additional words out of that?

I think the German word for poop is schisse or something like that, so I see where s**t comes from.

It comes from an old Germanic word for "to separate." It's also the same root word we get for scissors, Caesar, science, scintillate, and basically anything else that begins with sci-.

Piss- "late 13c., from O.Fr. pissier "urinate" (12c.), from V.L. *pissiare, of imitative origin."
Pee- 1788, "to urinate," euphemistic abbreviation of piss. Noun meaning "act of urination" is attested from 1902.

So piss came first, and then they actually shortened it to pee.

Poop- ""excrement," 1744, a children's euphemism, probably of imitative origin; cf. the same word in the sense "to break wind softly," attested from 1721, earlier "to make a short blast on a horn" (late 14c.)"

s**t- "O.E. scitan, from P.Gmc. *skit-, from PIE *skheid- "split, divide, separate." Related to shed (v.) on the notion of "separation" from the body (cf. L. excrementum, from excernere "to separate"). It is thus a cousin to science and conscience. The noun is O.E. scitte "purging;" sense of "excrement" dates from 1580s, from the verb."




So you were right for the s**t/science one, but that's about it.

Science- from O.Fr. science, from L. scientia "knowledge," from sciens (gen. scientis), prp. of scire "to know," probably originally "to separate one thing from another, to distinguish," related to scindere "to cut, divide," from PIE base *skei- (cf. Gk. skhizein "to split, rend, cleave," Goth. skaidan, O.E. sceadan "to divide, separate

Scissors- "late 14c., sisoures, from O.Fr. cisoires (pl.) "shears," from V.L. *cisoria (pl.) "cutting instrument," from *cisus (in compounds such as L. excisus, pp. of excidere "to cut out"), ultimately from L. caedere "to cut" (see -cide)."

Scintillate- "1620s, from L. scintillatus, pp. of scintillare "to sparkle," from scintilla "spark""

And Caesar is a name that has nothing to do with any of those, but did end up being used to mean "emperor." You can't say the word Caeser came from German, because it's much older, and the Germans actually got their word, "kaiser," from it. (Same with Czar in Russian.)

Your smartyness is hawt.