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Chuck Norris does not wear his watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a gun full and always win.
Instead of eye drops, Chuck Norris uses sauce.
Chuck Norris does not cry when cutting onions, onion cry. There is no lesbian. Only women who have not yet met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with pillows under the gun.
Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris once swallowed a jar of sleeping pills. They made him blink
. You live because Chuck Norris let you in life.
Chuck Norris was born in a hut built for him.
Chuck Norris smile back once, a puppy to life.
Chuck Norris once drowned a fish.
Childrens cry when they are breath because I feel like entering a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can swim, water freezes when he sees. Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father. What blood is Chuck Norris? Cold blood.
Chuck Norris can stab 10 people with one grenade.
Chuck Norris eats soup with Chinese sticks.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time you hear a song.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird .
Chuck Norris is the only man to beat a wall at ping-pong.
And the BEST
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2XUgE6g7XU
chuck norris vs bear

Chuck Norris visited The Virgin Islands, now they're just called The Islands
Ghosts are the result of Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them
Chuck Norris's house doesn't have doors, just walls that he walks through
Chuck Norris beat Medusa at a staring contest
Chuck Norris is the true reason why dinosaurs went extinct
Chuck Norris's tears have healing powers, to bad he never cries
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors
What came first Time or Gravity? Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has been dead for ten years now, Death has just been to scared to tell him
Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck Norris does not get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris does not read books he stares them down till he gets what he wants
-Chuck Norris deleted the recycling bin on his comp
-At night the boogie man checks in his closet for Chuck Norris
-Outerspace exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris
-If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble you win.. forever
-Chuck Norris's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush
-Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
-Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting....he goes killing!!!

Chuck norris is the reason Boxing Rings were needed instead of getting your a** kicked everywhere biggrin

Chuck Norris can count to infinite. Twice;D

Chuck Norris can eat only one lay potato chip.

Chuck Norris's tears, is God's sweat.

Chuck Norris walked the whole great wall of china.

What came first? The Chicken or the egg? Neither. Chuck norris.