|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 1:38 pm
I just can't.
When we met and got married, I was in a religious conflict. He was and still is an Atheist. I was raised Christian, and felt I was more suited for Islam.
He thinks its silly, he wants me to talk to him about it. But the one time I did, he was like "You just are looking for a label and group" Which is not true, he kept interrupting me and saying stupid comments when I was speaking.
I love him, and I've accepted hes an Atheist, but will he not stop until I'm one or we're divorced? confused
Do any of you have similar problems?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 2:31 pm
This pickled vegetable...My love thinks I'm a religious biggot because I'm bias in favor of Judaism. I was raised Jewish but I don't actually follow the religion in my adult life. However, whenever a religion debate comes up between us I always take the Jews side. ... could kick your a** !!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 2:38 pm
Religion has always been a big part of my life, so I've always looked for a partner with similar beliefs to mine. My boyfriend and I identify slightly differently, but we basically believe the same things, so it works out.
Of course, on the flip side I was kind of with a guy for a while who attended my church. In a lot of ways, he would use Christianity as a means of manipulating me to do what he wanted. There were times when I was dating other guys he didn't like, and he would tell me I was sinning and then give me biblical scripture telling me it was his Christian duty to let me know I was being sinful. Because he was a close friend and someone I had grown spiritually with, I listened to him, when really he was using my faith to get me to do what he wanted.
I'm really sorry to hear that your husband hasn't been as understand about your faith as he should be. I guess just keep trying to talk to him? He just needs to understand that it's important to you, and it's something he needs to support.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 3:27 pm
This is a debate/argument that I have had with my husband many, many times. We finally were able to reach equal ground with it, but it was so difficult to even reach this point that I just don't feel like I want to talk to him at all about religion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:32 pm
freelance lover Religion has always been a big part of my life, so I've always looked for a partner with similar beliefs to mine. My boyfriend and I identify slightly differently, but we basically believe the same things, so it works out.
Of course, on the flip side I was kind of with a guy for a while who attended my church. In a lot of ways, he would use Christianity as a means of manipulating me to do what he wanted. There were times when I was dating other guys he didn't like, and he would tell me I was sinning and then give me biblical scripture telling me it was his Christian duty to let me know I was being sinful. Because he was a close friend and someone I had grown spiritually with, I listened to him, when really he was using my faith to get me to do what he wanted.
I'm really sorry to hear that your husband hasn't been as understand about your faith as he should be. I guess just keep trying to talk to him? He just needs to understand that it's important to you, and it's something he needs to support. OMG, we had the same problem! When I was a Christian, I dated a Christian guy and it was similar. He pretty much beat me and tried to justify it with the Bible. Some men girl I tell ya..They're sorry as hell..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:40 pm
Aw, that is horrible. My fiance and I have very deep and long conversations about the universe and religion. It's silly what we talk about sometimes. Sorry I have no advie for you :/ Just stick it out maybe? Maybe he will change his mind?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:47 pm
Well my fiancee is a Pagan and I'm a Christian. We have some conflict though it doesn't really have to do with our theologies conflicting with each other but more of with the importance of a religious community in our lives.
For me growing up religious community was very important, for her it was for the most part non-existent or horrendous. Though I think this has more to do with our personalities than anything. Generally I'm very extroverted, talkative, and want to make everyone a buddy. My fiancee is a bit more reserved and self-conscience.
@freelance lover
Now that's just down right dirty and manipulative of that guy. I hope you're out of that situation now. I also hope that he gets the help that he needs and becomes free of the bondage he has placed himself in.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:09 pm
(Don't pay attention to the avatar, I'm a woman.)
I've been dating my boyfriend for what, five years now? He's actually a Baptist while I myself am pretty much an atheist, although granted I have a fondness for the Tao te Ching. (I refuse to use the Taoist title. Most every time I read the works and see other Taoists they seem to behave more along the principles of Confucianism. It's not too surprising, but still. I admire the Tao te Ching and NOT the Analects.)
Anyways somehow, the subject of religion just rarely comes up. He's never once told me I need to go to church. He doesn't ask me to pray or do anything like that. Every now and again I'll ask him questions about his religion and more specifically...faith...but it's pretty damn rare.
I hate the atheists that b***h and moan about how they get treated by Christians, but then turn around and start pointing fingers at Christians telling them they're illogical and going on. Just leave it be. They complain they don't want to be converted and then go and shove their beliefs in someone else's face. They make the rest of us look bad. -_-; My dad's that way with his girlfriend.
Anyways best you can do is either drop the subject...OR if you don't ever try to convert him point out that fact to him and ask him to lay off. Any dolt should know religion is a sensitive subject. If you can't respect that...well...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 1:26 pm
Call Me Apple freelance lover Religion has always been a big part of my life, so I've always looked for a partner with similar beliefs to mine. My boyfriend and I identify slightly differently, but we basically believe the same things, so it works out.
Of course, on the flip side I was kind of with a guy for a while who attended my church. In a lot of ways, he would use Christianity as a means of manipulating me to do what he wanted. There were times when I was dating other guys he didn't like, and he would tell me I was sinning and then give me biblical scripture telling me it was his Christian duty to let me know I was being sinful. Because he was a close friend and someone I had grown spiritually with, I listened to him, when really he was using my faith to get me to do what he wanted.
I'm really sorry to hear that your husband hasn't been as understand about your faith as he should be. I guess just keep trying to talk to him? He just needs to understand that it's important to you, and it's something he needs to support. OMG, we had the same problem! When I was a Christian, I dated a Christian guy and it was similar. He pretty much beat me and tried to justify it with the Bible. Some men girl I tell ya..They're sorry as hell..
No kidding! The thing is, if this guy found out my boyfriend doesn't identify as a Christian, he would probably deduce he's not a "man of God" and that I was sinful for being with him. The truth is, our values are much more similar and he treats me tons better than this other guy did.
That's why I hate the stigma that Christian guys always make the best life partners. Every now and then you find one who uses his religion to justify his abuse, it's really awful.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 1:21 pm
It's not me and a boyfriend/girlfriend. For me, it's me and parents (but I AM NOT one of those whiny teens... believe it or not.)
My dad is an agnostic, my mother is a Christian with hints of Buddhism, MOSTLY Christian. I'm searching, but I am definitely not any of those things.
My dad is not content with me unless he can corner me in some dumb argument about how the only true bible is the Origin of Species. And my mom says i can talk to her about anything, and normally I feel that way. But big things (such as when I came out as bi) puts her in mini-denial. Last time I told her something like this (see parentheses) she first was like, "are you sure?" for two weeks. Then we never spoke of it again.
So I know that both speaking and not speaking is really hard.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 1:25 pm
This pickled vegetable...My lover and I haven't had a religious discussion in a while. I should start one with him again just to see if we'll still argue or not... ... could kick your a** !!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 2:29 pm
My husband and I are very open about our respective religions and cultures. We were so open that we had two separate wedding ceremonies, not only for our separate families on two differing contenents, but for two different cultures to symbolize the merging of our lives.
My father and mother are also a religiously mixed couple. They have had their spats, but they have never let it interfere with their loving eachother. They have agreed over the years to disagree on religion, and merge the cultures into one family unit.
This is why my mother is not freaking out right now when from when I told her I was no longer a Catholic or a Christian.
My husband is a Shintoist, with some Buddhist and Christian overtones... Though I believe he is more Christian than he admits.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:13 am
i am sorry, that would get burdensome after awhile.
for us, our beliefs have become part of our personal space and we don't hassle each other about it.
he's agnostic but happily not one of those hypercritical nit pickers.
except when he's drunk.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 8:02 am
I have a problem very much like yours. I recently started attending church and my best friends don't belive in God. I can't talk about the Lord with them and the one time I tried it started a huge fight. It's great that you love your husband even though he thinks different then you do. A lot of people can't do that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:32 pm
I have a similar situation. My boyfriend is atheist and I'm not sure what I am. He hates it when anyone talks about any kind of religion with him. His father and my father are both religious and he gets in fights with both of them about. I found that the best way to avoid an argument is to tell him that if he truly wants to hear what I have to say and believe, then he will have to accept that what I am saying is how I truly feel. I tell him that I accept that he is an atheist and he should accept that I am not. It's as simple as that. I hope that this helps you sweety.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
