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 Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:07 pm
While wearing lolita, people smile at you, compliment you, make fun of you, take pictures of you sometimes without permission, ask you questions about your dresses, or just shout stuff at you from car windows, sometimes they shout nice things. You take it with a grain of salt and just appreciate the nice things. Well, what about when they take it too far?
Sometimes it's just stupid drunk people aiming at the girls in dresses. Sometimes cosplayers are a target. Sometimes it's just regular people who stand out in one way or another. My friends and I always travel together when going out on the town, to a convention, anything. A lot of them have faced harassment before for cosplay or lolita, goth and punk. And not just insults, but scary things, things that are harder to just shrug off. And it happens just because we stand out, we're interesting to people.
Today, on my way home from work, a group of guys shouted stuff at me. That's fine, I stand out, it happens. Then they start yelling, demanding that I talk to them and go over to them, and one actually gets out of his car and starts walking towards me, shouting stuff. I didn't look at them, just walked away fast, so I only know this because of the shocked look on the face of a woman at the bus stop and the guy who walked up to me after the car drove off and asked if I was okay. He mentioned how guys usually shout, but getting out of a car in traffic and coming towards me, especially since it was a whole group was scary and intimidating. This kind of thing happens, but still, that was a pretty big grain of salt. Some of you might have faced worse things, maybe in regular clothes, maybe in lolita.
I felt like, this kind of thing isn't supposed to happen here. It's all Microsoft guys and techies! They know what lolita is and never bother me. But this, and a few other incidents (lewd cat calls, being followed, or just having people speed and swerve into the shoulder right next to you and honk to scare you and speed off) have shown me that it doesn't matter where you are. If you stand out, you stand out.
Lolita is a modest fashion, but it is still aesthetically pleasing and different. Also, there are people who aren't attracted to it, but are just plain mean. Sometimes people will throw things from out of their car windows or scream at you. Not out of hate for you, but just general nastiness. They get a kick out of scaring you or making you angry, and that mentality could turn dangerous very quickly. People are cruel, and they take it out on the ones that stand out.
I'm not saying lolita is dangerous by any means. You could wear just about anything and stand out, and I think going with lolita fashion is far less risky than other stuff we could be doing, that's for sure.
I just wish people would be nicer to those who stand out, in any way, hobbies, looks, ideas, anything. I know it's an old Japanese saying, but it seems like more people in America want to hammer all the nails down too, and not politely.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this with all of you, and maybe you have something to share too. I want you to be safe, always travel with someone and stay alert with your surroundings. Carry protection, and don't let anyone get the chance to hurt you in any way! You stand out and draw a lot of attention, even when not in lolita, because you're still beautiful women and your regular fashions stand out also, so please be careful!
I kinda wish I had a bunch of Seattlolita friends to travel in a pack with! Bodyguards included, lol.
-Belle
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:30 pm
Whoa! Thats scary! gonk
Has all that really happened to you? D:
Must be horrible to deatl with. I'm happy that you haven't gotten hurt.
And thank you for the concern. I don't know about the others but I think it is very sweet.
As for stories, I have none. I'm new to wearing lolita and I still haven't worn my first outfit since it is complete.
But I do have advice. Usually, having a sharp object with you can come in handy. . And possibly heels can come in handy,depending on the type. (I've always imagined the thing heels to come in handy when it comes to safty for some reason.Those things hurt when you get hit by one. ;A; ) And always keep some bandaids or bandages and anitibacterial cream/spray/ whatever you prefer to use on wounds with you! That way if you do get hurt, there is some quick first aid.
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:37 pm
Extremely true and wise words.
This was brought up in another thread,
so I'm going to mention the same thing here, too;
carry something with you to defend yourself with.
Mine is a pair of embroidery scissors in a pocket of my purse that doesn't have a zipper.
It's also pretty important to be aware of your areas laws when it comes to carrying weapons.
One of the most life-changing things you could ever do is take a self defense class.
There are classes out there built specifically for women, and while, yes, simple martial arts are involved,
the main focus of the class is going to be to teach you how to be aware of your surroundings.
Being aware that someone has been following you for the past two blocks
can completely change what happens to you in the next five minutes.
It's a scary subject to touch upon.
But that's what makes it so important.
Seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyy just sign up for self defense classes.
WHAT IS YOUR REASON NOT TO?
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Posted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 7:59 pm
Self defense class!! Those are really good!
Yeah, it happened, but it happens to chicks all over the place. Still, doesn't feel nice, though. I think that with the right precautions, we can all lolita safely though. People will always say stuff, but as long as we're safe, we can ignore everyone else. smile
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 3:47 am
I'm actually used to that kinda thing. I mean... if you stnad out, prepare to face the s**t for it.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:05 pm
My weapon of defense is my parasol believe it or not. My Meta parasols have a metal tip at the end good for some excessive jabbing into. I actually had to use it a convention once when I had a girl who had been following me around, looking into my wallet at booths when I bought things, come at me suddenly :/. She was crazy and good old parasol was around to keep her at bay until someone notified the convention security of her
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:02 pm
-Lolita_Kana- My weapon of defense is my parasol believe it or not. My Meta parasols have a metal tip at the end good for some excessive jabbing into. I actually had to use it a convention once when I had a girl who had been following me around, looking into my wallet at booths when I bought things, come at me suddenly :/. She was crazy and good old parasol was around to keep her at bay until someone notified the convention security of her Wow. What a little pick-pocketing weirdo! Good thing for parasols and security, it would suck to be mugged or something at a con.
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Posted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 10:51 pm
A guy once tried to follow me home when I was wearing one of my Goth outfits. Based off his mannerisms I am not sure he knew what he was doing. He seemed a bit confused. Luckily I was aware of him and I knew people were home and awake. I am not sure how things would have turned out had I not noticed him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:19 am
Magical Girl Yossy
Extremely true and wise words.
This was brought up in another thread,
so I'm going to mention the same thing here, too;
carry something with you to defend yourself with.
Mine is a pair of embroidery scissors in a pocket of my purse that doesn't have a zipper.
It's also pretty important to be aware of your areas laws when it comes to carrying weapons.
One of the most life-changing things you could ever do is take a self defense class.
There are classes out there built specifically for women, and while, yes, simple martial arts are involved,
the main focus of the class is going to be to teach you how to be aware of your surroundings.
Being aware that someone has been following you for the past two blocks
can completely change what happens to you in the next five minutes.
It's a scary subject to touch upon.
But that's what makes it so important.
Seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyy just sign up for self defense classes.
WHAT IS YOUR REASON NOT TO?
Dude that last statement gave me an idea for a manga: KUNG-FU FIGHTING LOLITAS! That would be kick-a**! whee Also, I have'nt had any bad experiences like that because I always travel with my bodygaurd by my side. heart My koibito! 4laugh
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:13 am
This is so true,. I'm albino, so I stand out EVERYWHERE...especially when I'm carrying my cane. Lolita only makes it more extreme. Actually, I get made fun of more for carrying my cane when I am in lolita...
Honestly, if you carry any sort of weapon, you had better be extremely familiar with it. Have you been stabbed by your sewing scissors or parasol before? In a fight, could these things be taken from you and used against you? If you carry something like pepper spray, have you ever been sprayed with it? I took a year's worth of self defense and could kill someone with my bare hands, if I absolutely had to. For a quick getaway, aim for the nose, groin (on men) or diaphragm. Now I really wish that I could jump through my computer screen and help you all kick some serious a**!
Do you listen to music while you walk? Do you have your keys out ready to open your door as soon as you reach it? Do you walk in well lit places. These are things that you need to think about every day. I go to ODU, which is really close to the bad places of Norfolk. I walk through the quad to go home, instead of on a main road. There are emergency call boxes on my way, and someone would have a harder time getting away, because he/she could not have a getaway car near by.
If any of you live in my area and want some self defense practice, just let me know.
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:39 pm
Razeasha This is so true,. I'm albino, so I stand out EVERYWHERE...especially when I'm carrying my cane. Lolita only makes it more extreme. Actually, I get made fun of more for carrying my cane when I am in lolita... Honestly, if you carry any sort of weapon, you had better be extremely familiar with it. Have you been stabbed by your sewing scissors or parasol before? In a fight, could these things be taken from you and used against you? If you carry something like pepper spray, have you ever been sprayed with it? I took a year's worth of self defense and could kill someone with my bare hands, if I absolutely had to. For a quick getaway, aim for the nose, groin (on men) or diaphragm. Now I really wish that I could jump through my computer screen and help you all kick some serious a**! Do you listen to music while you walk? Do you have your keys out ready to open your door as soon as you reach it? Do you walk in well lit places. These are things that you need to think about every day. I go to ODU, which is really close to the bad places of Norfolk. I walk through the quad to go home, instead of on a main road. There are emergency call boxes on my way, and someone would have a harder time getting away, because he/she could not have a getaway car near by. If any of you live in my area and want some self defense practice, just let me know. Oh cool Razeasha! You live in my area of Virginia! Norfolk can definitely be a dangerous place and especially if you're not paying attention of your surroundings. Wasn't a student mugged on that campus last year or am I thinking of another school?
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:36 pm
OH MAN! I used to live in VA and HATED IT!! Then again, I was multiracial and in Dinnwiddie... You either get hit on aggressively for being "Blasian" or threatened for "forgettin where you came from", which I always found absurd, since my grandpa is Cuban, as are several in my upper family, and many mixed cousins, so I don't see how I owe my existence to the "black community" when I'm mostly hispanic and white... O__o
Anyway, I live in Bellevue Wa now and would love to know where I can take self defense classes. I know basic safety stuff and defensive weapons safety, but I don't think I could take someone down barehanded.
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:06 pm
A Doll Named Mouse OH MAN! I used to live in VA and HATED IT!! Then again, I was multiracial and in Dinnwiddie... You either get hit on aggressively for being "Blasian" or threatened for "forgettin where you came from", which I always found absurd, since my grandpa is Cuban, as are several in my upper family, and many mixed cousins, so I don't see how I owe my existence to the "black community" when I'm mostly hispanic and white... O__o Anyway, I live in Bellevue Wa now and would love to know where I can take self defense classes. I know basic safety stuff and defensive weapons safety, but I don't think I could take someone down barehanded. Lol, yeah it's sad that its like that in VA. I can't stand racists. What's WA like?
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Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:36 pm
Karate kick Cupcake A Doll Named Mouse OH MAN! I used to live in VA and HATED IT!! Then again, I was multiracial and in Dinnwiddie... You either get hit on aggressively for being "Blasian" or threatened for "forgettin where you came from", which I always found absurd, since my grandpa is Cuban, as are several in my upper family, and many mixed cousins, so I don't see how I owe my existence to the "black community" when I'm mostly hispanic and white... O__o Anyway, I live in Bellevue Wa now and would love to know where I can take self defense classes. I know basic safety stuff and defensive weapons safety, but I don't think I could take someone down barehanded. Lol, yeah it's sad that its like that in VA. I can't stand racists. What's WA like? Everyone here is either from another country or wished they were from another country. White people who love Japanese people, black people who love white people, Indian people who love Americans. Very mixed as far as customs and races, very relaxed and safe feeling. We have our ghettos too, but overall my family was much happier here. I decided to stay behind here when my folks bought property in MO, now mom wishes she were back here (she's black, step-dad is white, and though they live in a country town full of sweet people, people in the nearest city can be hateful, stare, and women in her spanish class even use the n-word in front of my mom)
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