Welcome to Gaia! ::

I can't really say.

But, I do believe I'm doing what He wants me to do right now, so I'm just waiting to be finished with college, and then go from there.

I always have the little things. When you can just feel that something is so. One time though, I heard pretty clearly exactly what I needed to hear. And it's very possible I just did again.

*Snicker.* I'm sorry, but there's something funny about seeing a girl dressed as a cartoon witch posting in the Christian guild. I'm not criticizing the avatar, I'm just commentin'.

*Sigh.* Something else that's funny, to my mind, is the paradox of God's voice. In my experience, and from what I've observed of others ... the surest way to know God's speaking to you is when you don't want to hear what He's saying. You know it's not your subconscious trying to convince you of something you really want to hear anyway; quite the opposite.

I should explain now that my biggest problem with Christianity -- really, with any religion, but I take it personally with Christianity -- is how easy it is to justify anything by saying "God told me". People have been using that one to justify murder for a few thousand years now. Now, me, if I were to get a message from On High saying to go kill somebody, I think I'd be asking for some ID from the messenger, you know?

Also, my degree is in psychology -- okay, you can stop laughing now, folks. But you don't need to have actively studied the human mind to know how easily we can deceive ourselves, using anything we see or feel as "evidence" that our view is right. And, as Christians, we like to say that God told us whatever.

But me ... I don't trust that. No, it's not that I don't trust God; I don't trust me to read Him properly. I know how easily I screw up, and how easy it is to come up with excuses to justify whatever I want to do -- whether it's what He wants or not.

So, I repeat my earlier assertion -- the best way to know God's telling you something is when you don't want to hear it.

Beyond that, though, and on the less negative side ... let me give you a small example of something I believe was God giving me directions. This isn't recent, this is a few months ago ... but I remember the details well enough.

Now, sure, somebody could just write it off as what psychologists call "Jungian synchronicity" -- what we normal folks call "coincidence" -- and it may easily be. It may also be instructions from the Lord for me to resume my old studies. I won't say for certain that it was from Him, but that's how I choose to take it.

God does speak to us, constantly. The Bible is His best tool along these lines; it speaks to the entire world, and you can find anything within its pages. Trust it as your first and last resort. But if you feel He's trying to tell you anything else -- like, oh, "hey, give your old friend you've not spoken to in years a phone call" -- it'd be foolish not to at least listen.

Put all things to the test of Scripture, of course, 'cause God won't go against what He's already said. But He may occasionally have a message for you that wasn't already written down -- in which case, you'll know. It's not an easy thing to describe, even for those who have known that call more than once in their lives ... but you'll know.

I'd not worry about it too much. Just keep listening; eventually, He'll have something He wants to tell you that isn't already known. Oh, sure, you can bug Him for His voice, and I'm not saying you shouldn't ... but He does things His own way, in His own time. Giving up because His timing isn't yours is just that: giving up.

Yesterday the most amazing thing of my entire life happened to me.

My entire childhood I spent as a Christian, but I never fully believed in Christ. I went to church every Sunday until 7th grade, when I stopped going. I flitted from religion to religion, trying to figure out what I believed in. Meanwhile, I was suffering from mental illness and loneliness. I felt like I was nearing the end of my path.

On Monday, my great uncle, Photis, passed away. I was very upset and, although I knew my grandparents and my uncle's wife needed me, I was afraid to be there for them.

Last night, I was disgusted with myself, fearing the funeral I attended this morning. I decided to look up a story on an online community (since I was out of unread books) to distract myself. At the top of the page was a story called The Boy Who Talks to God. Shortly after beginning the story I started to feel overwhelmed with emotion; I had been unhappy for so long I had hardly remembered what joy felt like. The story talked God and how He leads and helps people in their lives and how to follow Him. It was so beautiful it brought me to tears, and I read all 59 chapters of the story straight through.

Suddenly, after completing the story, I was overcome with the most powerful urge to seek out the Bible that I had tossed away years ago. I brought it into my room and sat with it curled in my arms in the middle of my bed.

All of a sudden, I was filled with the most incredible warmth and joy I had ever felt. I felt present, actually there for the first time. It was as if some glorious light was shining right from out of my soul, and all I could think about was the sermon my priest had given years ago and that I had never thought twice about. It was a sermon telling that, sometimes, people who have turned away from the path are greeted with the Lord and that the presence within them is so strong that they know they must follow Him. I knew that that was what was happening to me, without a doubt. I knew that He was there with me, and in a single second, I was suddenly a Christian again. There were no obstacles He made me defeat or torture He put me through to deserve to commit my life to Him. I knew that he had forgiven me for my sins and that I had to go through all that time away from Him so He could truly prove He existed. I knew He had brought that story to me, because He knew then that I needed His love and that I needed to have faith in Him.

I also found in my heart answers that hadn't been there before. I knew that He wanted me to be strong for my grandparents and to stand up for those who could not stand up for themselves. I understood why I had gone through suffering, so that I could help others with that of their own. I prayed and then I fell asleep effortlessly, for the first time that I can remember.

This morning, at the funeral, I felt the Lord give me the strength and the courage to face my grandparents, and to give them the support that they desperately needed. When I was in the church, I did not weep for the death of my uncle, but for the beauty of the Lord. The readings from the bible were so beautiful and I felt overwhelmed with my love for God. I thanked Him for forgiving me, for healing me and for forgiving the sins of my uncle; for releasing him from the pain of his cancer that had been killing him for so long.

When God has touched you, when God speaks to you, you will know. And when he does, you must pick up your cross and follow him.

God bless you all. [:

God speaks to everyone differently. It's really neat if you get an intense emotional experience, but remember that emotions are temporary, and that God is above emotions - so don't lose hope or faith if somewhere down the road you feel bad or something. God is still with you, and still speaking to you. He can speak without creating a huge commotion. It's like when Moses went up on the mountain, God was in a whisper, not a huge storm or earthquake. But He also speaks in burning bushes. 3nodding
Also, remember that you are serving God and doing what He wants you to do if you are fullfilling whatever responsibilities you have. If you are a student, your job is to do homework, and in being a good student, you are doing what God wants you to do at the moment.

I wouldn't say God talks to you as in real life direct talking, but He can put a person on your mind to pray or to help. That's a way he can communicate with you.