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Posted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:55 pm
~( Ze Mood)~ She sprawled over her small cot, stretching and scratching her belly after a monstrous yawn. Lips still smacking, and eyes still squeezed shut, Weiwin knew what day it was. A genuine smile graced her mouth – it was the day of rest, her first chance to unwind after the Hatching. No, she had not attended the Hatching Feast this time around but next time would be different. With that she got up and rubbed her eyes, then, picked through her small trunk for a smallest shirt she had and shortest shorts she could find. The early hours of the day were for the beach. She let her frizzled hair bob and crackle as it pleased then slipped on some sandals. Yes, Weiwin was used to the bustle of Fort and even its outlying holds were fraught with a need to rush. Today, though, was going to be a day to savor; she was bent on making sure of it. Her first stop of the day was, of course, at the kitchens for a meatroll and klah, both of which went down quickly – no time to spare on her day off. A skin full of water bobbed at her hip as she continued on to a well worn path out of the Weyr. She was going to find the beach; it couldn’t be that difficult considering Ista’s geography. She stalked across the Bowl, and jogged down the path beyond the plateau which emptied at the Southwestern coastline. It was surprisingly quiet when she got there, aside from the rushing of waves and whatnot. For a moment she felt sorry that she hadn’t made any friends or at least asked anyone to come along with her. It would be nice to dance on the beach to something from any of the numerous resident Harpers. Too bad, too late – she tossed her sandals and started to walk down the shore, getting her feet wet as her arms swung 'round and her hips wiggling to some unheard beat.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:03 am
A rest day, at long last. R'than woke up late, well late for him at any rate, and took his time over a bath. Nevertheless, he arrived at breakfast when the hall was still full, full of people discussing loudly how they were going to spend their day. R'than took porridge and fruit juice, politely refusing a couple of offers of activity for the day. All the plans being made sounded terribly action packed and alcohol fueled; not his idea of how to spend a rest day at all. He just hoped they didn't get so drunk they made fools of themselves. Long experience told R'than that this was a futile hope; most people these days didn't care to drink in a restrained manner. Ha. 'These days' it had been no different in his youth; people in general just loved to drink and behave in an unseemly manner. Slightly depressing as it might be, it was the way of the world.
Breakfast eaten, he wandered into the kitchen and acquired a couple of meat rolls, some fruit, and a skin of water for his lunch. He added these things to his bag, which already had a blanket and a towel in it, before heading out into the bowl. Garith was waiting for him, riding straps held in one forepaw. It was the work of a few moments to get them on and to mount, and then for the brown to launch himself into the air. The blessedly cool wind of speed ruffled his short hair and tugged at his clothes, bringing a smile to the grey-haired rider's lips. Sun, sand, and maybe a splash in the surf. It would be a good day.
Before long, Garith was circling down towards the beach. As they descended, movement caught the brown's attention, and he gave his rider a mental nudge to share his vision. Humm, a girl was already down there. They could move on somewhere else... but he quite liked the idea of company. If it turned out to be awkward they could always leave. Garith replied with a mental shrug; he planned to spend most of the day sleeping on the sand, so whatever R'than felt like was fine by him. Moments later, the brown touched down on the beach, having been careful not to stir up too much sand, and dipped his shoulder to allow his rider to dismount.
"Good morning," R'than called to the black-haired young woman, "I hope you don't mind if we share this stretch of beach with you. I'm R'than, and this is Garith."
Garith turned calm green eyes down onto the girl, and rumbled softly in greeting. He wanted to get on with dozing soon, but polite introductions had to come first.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:24 am
The air became peppered with what sand the water couldn’t keep down. Yes, peppered was the word as not much sand actually got picked up by the graceful dragon’s landing. Weiwin shielded her eyes mostly from the morning sun as she glanced upward at a dark brown dragon and his rider – they made a dignified pair, one that looked much more comfortable together than the Weyrlings and their lifemates did. Refreshing, she thought. “Morning R’than, and I’d be delighted to share the beach with you and your Garith.” Her voice was clear and her crooked smile warm as the Brown introduced himself – he seemed dreadfully polite. She felt herself giving a slight bow to the dragon. “My name is Weiwin.” And that was all – Weiwin the Candidate. She would stay on at the Weyr for one more Hatching, then, she’d be on her way. She’d be making room for another candidate, one that would Impress. That’s how she thought of her situation but, of course, she let all of this go unsaid. “And I’m one of the many Candidates here.” She wondered what Ista Weyr was like when R’than was younger, that is if he hadn’t transferred in… she would be sure to ask him after he got settled.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:53 am
Garith gave another deep rumble, and bowed his head slightly to the young female. Introductions complete, he waited only for R'than to remove his riding straps before turning and pacing up the beach to where the sand was hottest and driest. Selecting a sun sun-drenched spot, the powerfully built dragon lowered himself to the ground and curled up comfortably to sleep. No noise of people or other dragons, no duties to see to later, nothing at all to worry him. It only took him a few moments to fall into a peaceful doze.
R'than watched his lifemate with a faint smile for a moment or two before remembering that he was still holding the harness. Swinging his bag of his shoulder, he added the straps to the contents before closing it and setting it down in the sand.
"Weiwin," he said, smiling and nodding as he tried to commit the young woman's name and face to memory. "Ah, yes," he chuckled as she went on, "candidacy. I gather it's even less enjoyable than usual with the overcrowding issues we're having." Having to share their already tiny alcoves, the problem with lice, how packed the lessons they took must be... And of course the big issue, so much competition for hatchlings. "Must be a relief to get away for a day," R'than commented with a shake of his head, suddenly feeling quite glad that he only had to share his weyr with one person. True it was one of the smallest weyrs, but he was far luckier than the young people currently hoping to find lifemates on the hatching sands.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:23 pm
Her eyes followed the Brown as he found a spot to rest beyond the shoreline. She had to admit that dragons were awfully beautiful creatures and Garith with his powerfully built body was no exception. He looked so warm and inviting, she could just imagine herself curling up against him and sleeping. As it was, he offered about the only shady spot this side of beach not that she was looking for any at the moment. Her mouth gave a quirky twinge as she observed the rider soften as he watched his bonded.
There was a breeze, and it was cool coming off of the sea. The sun was warm but the air wasn’t yet heavy with humidity. Her chest felt light and she could breathe in deeply, yes - this was just the right place to be at this time of day.
She kneeled right where water met sand, hands relaxing in a soft watery bed. “It certainly is a change of pace to be outside of the Weyr, though this place seems like it could have been a paradise, before the crowding I mean,” half lidded green eyes seemed sorry as she spoke, though her voice was calm and cool. “So,” she started on a more excited note, “did you take your candidacy here, then? what was this place like when you were my age?” She was hinting toward the word ‘advice’ but neglected to say it. Chores didn’t really bother her, nor did the fast pace, it was the crowding that had her on edge. It was the crowding that compounded her sense of loss after this past Hatching. However, she didn’t rightly see what advice could be given on that matter.
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:15 pm
If he had heard her thoughts, he would have agreed heartily. In his youth Garith had been a most handsome dragon, and he still was today but with a distinguished air that suited his dignified nature very well indeed. Both he and his dragon had really been born at least thirty turns old internally, youth had looked a little awkward on them. Still smiling to himself as he recalled what a clumsy hatching his dragon had been, he eased himself to the wet sand beside Weiwin and stretched his feet out towards the gently lapping waves.
"I've lived on this island all my life," he said with a chuckle as the young woman posed her question. "Countless turns ago, I was searched from a cothold on the west coast and came here to the Weyr. I was... twelve turns old then, a long time ago as I say." So long ago now, he could hardly recall the life he had led in that tiny community. He remembered his parents' resentment though, of the rider for taking him rather than for him leaving.
"Anyway, to actually answer your question..." R'than looked up at the sky thoughtfully for a moment before giving a soft chuckle. "It was less crowded for one, much less crowded, and the mood of the place was much less... urgent. Back then the Thread still looked a long long time away, but we're all anticipating it's arrive any turns or even month now. Other than that though things were much the same; the candidate master was unreasonable and hard-headed, some of the candidates formed cliques and jostled for position, certain boys were sure they'd Impress a bronze especially sons of bronze riders..." R'than rubbed his chin thoughtfully, trying to think back through the turns to Ista, and his life, as they had been. "Not Impressing was as upsetting then as it is now," he went on after a moment. "I was just about twelve when I arrived here as I say, and it was the week before my seventeenth birthing day when Garith found me... Have you stood for many hatchings yet Weiwin?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:27 am
Summer time...maybe one of A'ras' favorite time of the year and being on the sands itself was surely the place for him to be. He and Cavaruth were further down the beach taking a leisurely stroll. Everything couldn't have been more perfect. There was hardly anyone upon the beach and A'ras was quite content with that notion. He had stripped down to just a lightweight loin cloth that barely covered his smooth a** and was decorated with a belt of beads and tiny shells.
As the walked, A'ras picked up shells half buried in the sands and peered at a couple hoping to find ones that might be suitable to take to a few inner holds when he went traveling again. He was noticing a few edgy greens on the ledges and well that meant there might a few flights...something he planned to avoid.
Cavaruth nosed him as they walked because he obviously was too distracted to notice, "There's nothing wrong with flights! So many pretty greens to capture! Oh...and we aren't alone, A'ras."
A'ras rolled his eyes, "For you, Cav. Humans don't work like you do; it's way to complicated." Glancing up from one of his shells he had gathered, he noticed a woman....dressed in a skimpy little shirt with shorts that caressed a pert butt underneath. What a nice view even with a bit of sand here and there, he thought as his eyes lazily drifted over her body. But.... there was one more, someone to consider more closely, a brown rider on the shore with his dragon not too far away. The rider, seemed familiar and it took him a moment to place him. "Ah, that one's from our...'wing' and the other...mm...I think she is a candidate?"
Cavaruth chuckled, "Mm...little candidate girls always need helping."
A'ras looked sharply up at Cav, "Oh no you don't! I've all ready had enough problems with your 'helping behaviors' lately."
Cavaruth mocked a pout, "But they DO love to be helped by me! I do it so well. Yesterday, a young pretty candidate was carrying glows and I helped her."
A'ras rolled his eyes, "Yeah..you carried her...but after she got so scared that she dropped the basket and then she had to walk all the way back to pick up those glows and do the job all over again."
Cavaruth paused, "It wasn't my fault she couldn't hold the basket."
A'ras sighed, "Riiiighhtt."
Then he looked up and smiled with his usual wolf-like charismatic grin, "Hello there...Nice day to wander the beach don't you think?" he said out loud to the others as they strode a bit closer. "What a beautiful day...."
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Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:44 pm
((Hope you don't mind, but I couldn't resist making the connection. I'll edit it out if you want))
The simple sounding of his voice was putting her at ease, and she nodded as she listened. For a dragonrider he was approachable, in fact he was the first dragonman she had spoken to at any length. On that note, she felt like she could ask him a million and one questions, though she was trying not to be a nuisance. “No, I haven’t stood for many Hatchings.” R’than certainly was perceptive. In the worst case scenario, if she never ended up Impressing and went back home, she would do so with the utmost respect for Fort Weyr, dragonmen, and Weyrfolk alike. The impending threat of Thread helped explain the overcrowding of the Weyrs – she’d heard that Ista wasn’t the only place with such an issue, it just happened to be about the most overpopulated Weyr. Thread could also help explain the higher outturn of eggs from Queens, however, Weiwin did not quite understand how Thread Fall managed to faithfully spur egg laying quantities on as it did, or, so she’d read in records. Maybe it was all in the mind…s. “So… Ista Weyr wasn’t as plagued by overcrowding when Thread Fall seemed far off?” It was an absentminded thought turned utterance. She really did find the topic interesting, though, and wouldn’t have minded discussing it at greater length with R’than, but the man in the loincloth and the beautiful Blue next to him caused her concentration to falter. The pair seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, then, again, Weiwin hadn’t really been paying attention to much aside from the water and R’than. Certainly she was struck by the attractiveness of A’ras, but that didn’t quite explain the strained look on her face. The girl was convinced that she had seen the newcomer before and for the intervening seconds it took for her to recall the familiarity her mouth pursed.
“Excellent day to enjoy the beach” and before her breath could close around that statement she said, “I know you from somewhere.” She deflected his wolfish mien, cutting right down to the quick. Her logic had deterred her from fawning over the rider’s good looks: she had a lowly station at the Weyr and was one of many young things prancing about; thus, she made no pretense about what someone like him ultimately thought about someone like her. With all of this in mind, it bothered her that she knew his face. Her eyes drifted to the Blue, R’than, and then back to A’ras as if any one of them knew the answer. Then it all connected in her mind. Her mother was an artist, and shard it there was a small painting of A’ras amongst her hides. Yes, that was it.
“My mother has made you into artwork.” She finally smiled. They must have met at a Gather or some such. “You must have made quite the impression; there are even a few drawings of a blue dragon that bear a striking resemblance to this one.” At that she gave a small bow to Cavaruth.
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 12:58 am
R'than nodded confirmation. "Yes, that's right, Queens have been laying steadily larger and more frequent clutches over the turns. For most of my life here, candidate numbers have gone up slowly as well but the last... three turns, or maybe four," or was it more like two? Ah well, no matter. "Mmm, well yes, last few turns there's been quite an explosion in numbers. I suppose maybe the dragons subconsciously know the Thread is near and are bringing in all the potential they find, or maybe they've become more sensitive to it or something. I don't know, but that's the only explanation I can think of..."
Oh, hello, they weren't alone... Oh. It was A'ras. He wasn't quite sure what he thought of the handsome young man yet, but he didn't like his dragon's attitude in the least. Still, you couldn't judge a person entirely by their dragon; there were plenty of ways he and Garith differed and they were more similar than many pairs.
"A'ras, good day to you." He gave the other man a smile and a nod, briefly pondered getting up to greet him properly and then decided it was too much effort. Besides, any kind of formality seemed a bit pointless when it was directed at a man dressed only in his loincloth... Ha, he'd inspired artwork had he? R'than could believe that; women - and quite a few men - seemed to fall at the bluerider's feet, unsurprising considering his looks. "Would you care to join us?" he went on with another smile. "I was just recounting some ancient history for Weiwin here."
Garith, stirred from his doze by his lifemate's mental nudge, raised his head and turned it to regard Cavaruth. "Greetings Cavaruth," he said with a soft rumble, "it is a fine day to be out on the beach, is it not?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:33 pm
A'ras paused for a moment considering her words and looking at her carefully in return trying to envision Weiwin's mother "An artist...mm...let see.. ah...Fort Hold, at a Gather a few turns back? I think she was having...mm..a bit of artist's block." He smiled thoughtfully, "She asked me if I had the time for her hands to work out their kinks. Yes, I remember that." A reflection of the past echoed in his head remembering the woman's inspired gaze wandering his flesh when he leaned up against Cav's side. Although he didn't...make a move he was rather tempted; her eyes caressing his form while drawing was quite exhillerating to say the least. He chuckled just a little, "Your mother has a very good eye for detail and is an exceptional figure artist. I would have purchased the piece but, she wanted to keep it to help her sell other commissions. Does she fare well in her works today? I've not been back to Fort Hold in a few seasons."
Cavaruth cocked his head and glancing towards the brown. "Yes, a very good day, indeed...Garith." Cav then stretched out his wings and then reset them into place, sitting himself on the sands while A'ras was chatting. The big blue hadn't a real opinion of the brown but the dragon was a bit older than himself and there wasn't any reason not to continue the conversation, "The beach is far quieter than the Weyr as of late. A'ras finds this comforting at times so we are here often. Yourself? Are you here to get away from it all?"
A'ras smiled over at R'than seeming quite relaxed out in the warm sun and didn't seem one bit offended by the lack of formality, "Good day to you, R'than. Sure, I have some time, thank you for the invitation." he said with a smooth voice then continued with a deeper interest, "Oh? Ancient history? What sort? Of the Weyr or other places?" He shook his head briefly letting the long blonde locks float over his shoulders as he graceful knelt down to the sand and eased into a comfortable seated position; a position that revealed nothing and probably a polite gesture on his part knowing how nervous holders can be about bare flesh.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 1:02 am
Her mother was something of a flirt and Weiwin wasn’t surprised that she had managed to catch admiration for her artwork. She was an exceptional artist, after all. Pity how little of her artistic bents funneled down to Weiwin. Regardless, Weiwin was here now with two dragons, their riders, and a wonderful view – was there anything she could really want for? She gave a small shrug of her shoulders in reply to A’ras’ query, “Her artwork coupled with her buoyant personality has served her well at market. Next time you go to Fort, though I’d be delighted to accompany you.” Any opportunity to ride on a dragon was worth pouncing on. In any case, Weiwin noted that A’ras was comfortable in more than just his skin – he seemed at ease with banter. If Weiwin were at all adept in the art of self-monitoring, though she’d have realized that she appeared to be feeling her oats right about now. Being in the company of these two just seemed to boost her confidence over and above her norm. And when R’than made mention of ‘ancient history’ she smiled and nudged his shoulder gently with hers. “R’than was just telling me about his childhood.”
She watched as A’ras shook his hair about, however, her eyes averted as he seated himself. It’s not that she was a sheltered, virginal holder she just didn’t want to be caught staring. Pride is what it came down to – she didn’t need to steal peeks, she knew what was what and liked to leave it at that. She did briefly smile as politeness crossed her mind.
Then, her voice adopted a more serious tone as she continued: “We were also discussing the egg laying habits of Queens being affected by Thread Fall.” Throughout the interaction unfolding here on the beach, Weiwin did not for a moment find herself questioning the behavior exhibited by the riders toward each other. Such things went beyond her scope.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 3:57 am
R'than sighed slightly inside as the young man shook out his hair. What was it with riders and long hair these days? Back in his youth male riders wouldn't even consider hair that went past their jaw. These days it seemed those who kept a practical shot cut were in the minority. Green wingleaders, crowding, and long hair. And flitts, cute as they were the little things seemed to be everywhere these days! It was almost enough to make him want one himself but they looked like a lot of trouble to take care of and he really didn’t think he had the time to spare...
Oh, yes, he'd been thinking disapproving thoughts about A'ras before his mind had wandered off on that happy tangent. He still hadn't forgiven the brash blue rider for his behavior towards their wingleader. He didn't care what colour her dragon was, it could be pink for all he cared, you just didn't talk to your wingleader like that. He still wished she hadn't been given the position. Egh. Why him? Who had decided it was a good idea to put someone as traditional as he was under Pern’s first - and hopefully last - green wingleader?
Weiwin's nudge brought him back to reality, and R'than offered her a lopsided grin. "Yes," he said with a nod, "very ancient history! The queens seem to to be laying more queen eggs of late, too. Of the last four clutches we've had, three have contained a queen egg... That at least I don't think is usual though, I had a bit of a nose through the records and couldn't find anything on the matter. I suppose we've just been very fortunate." If they continued to be so fortunate, riders were going to have to start packing in three to a weyr. There was still talk of the new Weyr, but that was all it was; talk.
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Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 9:42 pm
A'ras smiled with a slight nod, "When I next head to Fort, I'll be sure to let you know. I wouldn't mind seeing your mother again." Pouting lips...vivid smile...and those creative hands all crossed his mind. Sure...he wouldn't mind spurring on that woman's imagination again in more ways than one. However, he wasn't going to mention that part to her daughter, who did carry a few of her mother's traits.
Cavaruth crooned then chuckled to A'ras, "Flirty lips, pert tail...just no wings. She needs her hatchling then a few turns. We should come back then."
A'ras grinned because Cav was right. She needed a few more years then if she got a green - many in the Weyr would get to know her in more ways than one. Something about that never clicked quite right with A'ras, so he rarely took part in the flights preferring to find his one-nighters in other places - Places he didn't live. Much to Cav's chagrin since Cav didn't mind grabbing at the greens.
But the conversation had turned to 'history' and his eyes flicked over to R'than as he spoke. R'than smoothed that bit over just nicely. But any smart person could see that the Weyr was soon going to be unable to sustain itself since the holders weren't to keen on giving over essentials. Fortunate for him, he actually had pretty good relations with people where he went outside the Weyr. There was always a warm bed, a woman's arms, or the men at a local tavern to share the brew.
However, in his 'wing' it was very much the opposite. At the moment, the young girl didn't even realize that he and R'than didn't see eye to eye in any way shape or form. It wasn't difficult to do, he found Weiwin to be charming so he'd gladly masked what could have been tension with a winning smile.
"I'm not sure about the dates of each Weyr as they opened one by one but I think in our life time we will see the marked event of a new Weyr formation. So in the prospects of being part of something life changing and historic is quite good." His voice was vivid and cheerful as if the Event was a good possibility.
But in his mind he had serious doubts especially with the patterns he was seeing about the Weyr. The Leadership was seriously flawed and winter would come. How were they going to feed all these people and dragons? The lice and flu was bad enough. He had to wonder why the leadership was sitting on its hands.
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Posted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 3:43 pm
He wouldn’t mind seeing her mother again? that was fresh. Her mind sifted through childhood memories and teenaged realizations. Certainly her mother and father had had an interesting relationship over the turns, what with half siblings cropping up as playmates and her mother missing the occasional breakfast – both of them had strayed. Her mother, however, had been very careful about not having any more children. Weiwin was aware that her parents weren’t sexually committed to each other but there was always love enough for their little Weiberry when they were together as a family. So, A’ras was thinking about adding her mother to the list of his conquests? She smiled. “I’m sure that my mother and father would enjoy playing host to you for lunch or dinner.” Breakfast was usually a mess, mother wanting to make their food into artful displays and her father cleaning up after her. In any case, Weiwin would tail that nice arse of his to be sure that he and her mother behaved.
The young Candidate’s thoughts on the Blue rider weren’t completely innocent, but again there was this sense that A’ras wasn’t one to form lasting relationships. Unfortunately, this is what Weiwin wanted for herself down the road and she hadn’t determined whether or not there was something worth fighting for in A’ras. Of course, there was the whole issue of Weiwin Impressing and she was getting ahead of herself with all of these thoughts. She scolded herself.
R’than. She liked him as a man. However, she was unaware of his hide-bound attitude and that might get in the way of a relationship – not that he seemed to be looking for one – with her. The older rider’s personal views wouldn’t keep them from being friendly to one another in a genuine fashion. At least, she reminded herself, for as long as she stayed on at the Weyr. There was this whole idea of a new Weyr being formed and people heading there plus the reoccurring thought of going home after the next Hatching. But the thought of leaving this place was strangely becoming less and less appealing.
She did manage to pick up on the reservations coming from both riders, her eyes casting around their surroundings. Waves were stilling rolling in and the water had leveled out just beyond her perch (i.e. feet). Her back felt warm as did the black frizz that once fell neatly at her shoulder blades. She briefly wondered why none of them had wandered a little deeper into the sea.
“Do you think we could continue shop talk down there?” She grinned. “I think all of these issues will make more sense once I’m cooler.” With that her feet swung forward and she got up and walked into the waters ‘til her shorts got wet.
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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:19 am
Well, he certainly hoped their lives would be marked by the formation of a new Weyr. Hopefully its leaders wouldn't think that green wingleaders were a good plan. Still, time would tell he supposed. As Weiwin rose to her feet, R'than couldn't help an appreciative glance at her backside. She was rather too young for him to be interested in her seriously, but it had to be said that she did have a nice backside.
"Sounds like a plan," he responded, pushing himself to his feet and wading into the water. A glance down confirmed that he could more or less see the bottom where he was standing; good. Of course there wouldn't be any sea monsters or anything like that so close to the shore but... Well, you couldn't help the things that gave you the creeps.
"If there were a sea monster, I would eat it," Garith told him as he stirred himself out of his doze one more. "Apologies Cavaruth, I near fell asleep again. Yes, we came down here to escape the crowds and the noise that tend to go along with rest days. Not very restful in my opinion, but I suppose everyone has different ways of relaxing." Like drinking themselves insensible and gambling more than they had to spare; he and R'than shared a disapproving thought over such activities before returning their attention to their respective conversations.
"I wonder where a new Weyr might be formed," R'than said thoughtfully after a few moments. "I've heard that a few wings have been looking for possibilities on their sweeps, but so far as I know they've not found anything that's perfect yet." Perhaps that was why nothing had been done yet... but if that were the case then surely more sweeps would be being sent out, and there would be some sort of official announcement. No, for some reason Helirra was sitting on her hands over this. What did she think she was gaining, he wondered?
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