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| Lightning/Griffin or Tar/Horned Lizard? |
| Lightning/Griffin |
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50% |
[ 8 ] |
| Tar/Horned Lizard |
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37% |
[ 6 ] |
| Undecided (Aka, Ravi's option) |
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12% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 16 |
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 Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:05 pm
Welcome and Table of Contents Critiquing - as well as this thread - is CLOSED as of January 5th, 2009. I have become the owner of Self-Replicating Virus!
Critiquing is CLOSED RE-OPEN as of August 16th, 2009!
Critiquing is OPEN as of February 24th, 2009! Poll Results (Thus Far)
Griffin/Lightning: 8
Horned Lizard/Tar: 7 (one vote came from a friend not in Lab)
Undecided: 1 (one came from me, so it doesn't count) Post Null-Welcome and Table of Contents
Post One-Updates
Post Two-Soul Idea(s)
Post Three-Fel Essence(s)
Post Four-The Raevan
Post Five-The Guardian
Post Six-The Funds
Post Seven-Writing Samples
Post Eight-Other Ideas
Post Nine-Reserved
Post Ten-Credits
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:06 pm
Updates December 10th, 2009--Start of the Beneath the Mistletoe X-mas event! I've decided to sit this one out due to being attached to my current ideas and because the Essence doesn't strike my fancy. Good luck entrants!
December 6th, 2009--Added a poll between my two concepts. Right now I'm very indecisive, as both options are great in my eyes, so I'd like to see what one out of the two I have Labbies want to see more. Poll will run indefinitely.
December 5th, 2009--Keeping Griffin soul since I looked and cannot find any quest thread with it up. Also, pairing said soul up my Linear Lightning Essence.
December 3rd, 2009--Curse my brain. |D New ideas up for Essence and Soul. "Lingering Sunbeam" which would be paired up with a Griffin. Trashing idea.
November 19th, 2009--Added a new soul that I had been thinking about adding for awhile. It might stay a back up or it might take the Aurora's spot as top soul, I'm uncertain yet. Coast Horned Lizard is going to be my soul of choice.
November 14th, 2009--Did a bit of cleaning. I'm going to be focusing solidly on the Fluid Tar Essence possibly coupled with the Aurora Borealis for a soul.
November 11th, 2009--Came up and added 'Visible Imagination' to the Essence list. It's a cute Essence and I hope to come up with an equally cute Raevan for it.
October 21st, 2009--Was able to figure out how to keep a timid/easily skittish personality and tie it in with the Tar Essence. I'm satisfied, so that Essence is done. I'm gonna be working on the Aloe, which is now named "Agonizing Aloe", though I don't think I'll forge too much of a personality for it, as Snoof has expressed interest in it.
October 7th, 2009--Trashed 'Temperate Ice' and 'Fermented Grapes'. Going to be working on the tar and aloe Essences; including working on their names, descriptions, and effects. I'm probably gonna toss up a poll for the new name choices for 'Inviscid Bitumen', since I can't choose between one or the other.
October 6th, 2009--Put 'Temperate Ice' and 'Dull Opal' into my Other Ideas post; switching them for 'Inviscid Bitumen' and 'Corrosive Aloe'. The latter two will undergo a series of reworkings like name changes and description twiddling. Thank yous go to Kaurii and Arana for critiquing my ideas and inspiring me to work on the Bitumen and the Aloe.September 24th, 2009--Added Jericho's basic personality into the 'Raevan' section under the 'Any/Aurora Borealis' form. Also, my quest celebrated its seventh month open yesterday.
August 23rd, 2009--It's a milestone marker for me, as this quest has been open for six months! 8D
August 16th, 2009--Closing the thread to critiques for now, just until I clean it up a bit. Please see the last post on the last page of my thread for the list of what I plan to do. (That list is subject to change at any time) Thread is re-open for critique!
August 15th, 2009--Congratulations on winning the MPD Raevan Reedenbaum. Since the event is over I will be asking for critique and doing a bit of cleaning of my quest thread.
July 28th, 2009--Made it to Round Two! >W<
July 13th, 2009--Round One of the 4th Anniversary event begins! I got past the Guardian prelims, so the quest is on pause as this goes on.
July 8th, 2009--Added another Essence with an 'in development' title. Came up with another Essence; 'Inviscid Bitumen'.
June 25th, 2009--Filled out and sent in a Guardian form for the upcoming Summer Event flatsale.
June 19th, 2009--Added another Essence to the batch; Temperate Ice
June 7th, 2009--Added another Soul up; Aurora Borealis, aka the Northern Lights
June 5th, 2009--Removed Wraith as a Soul and added in Okapi!May 26th, 2009--Moved some things around, changed a couple of posts to make 'Other' and "Unusable' ideas sections. Still working on Essences; namely 'Silver Lining'.
May 24th, 2009--Working on Essences
May 15th, 2009--Added a small quote box to my Raevan section. It will serve to hold traits in personality, likes/dislikes, etc shared by any Raevan/Essence pairings above it.
May 6th, 2009--Changed the name of 'Judgment Alcohol' to 'Sober Liquor'.
May 1st, 2009--Added Phantom/Shadow People/Wraith as a potential Soul. Phantom or Wraith would be lined up with Judgment Alcohol.
April 24th, 2009--Got rid of Aglaophotis and Weeping Willow for Souls and added in Blackberry. Also added in three new Essences which are up for critique.
April 9th, 2009--Took out Amanita Muscaria for a Soul and instead added Aglaophotis. More info on it will be added soon as I know I found a bit more on it elsewhere...
March 21st, 2009--Added a new Soul; Raskovnik and got rid of Never Ending Ripple. Dull Opal is now my Essence of choice.
March 20th, 2009--Changed Guardian COMPLETELY from Cecil Ballard to Zeke Farris. Also, the quest thread has a snappy title now. YAY!
March 15th, 2009--Edited the Guardian's profile a little; namely his personality.
March 3rd, 2009--Another Soul Idea added; Amanita muscaria, the fly agaric mushroom! Raevan idea added, as well as a question section with a couple of questions.
February 27th, 2009--Taking down Ripple's way of feeding down to ponder and rework again, tweaked Dull Opal's description, added a passive power to the Opal/Willow Raevan, and added another name option.
February 25th, 2009--Raevan name chosen!
February 24th, 2009--Going to rework the Never Ending Ripple. Essence's way of obtaining food. Never Ending Ripple way of feeding fixed up!
February 24th, 2009--Thread open for critique!
February 23rd, 2009--Quest Thread being set up.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:12 pm
Soul Griffin This soul will be lined up with Linear Lightning.Coast Horned Lizard This particular soul will be lined up with my Fluid Tar Essence.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:14 pm
Fel Essence Linear Lightning When looking up to the sky during a thunderstorm, a person can see lightning forking, branching, and zig-zagging across the sky just before a thunderclap. Lightning does this to travel the path of least resistance from point A to point B as the air of our planet is filled with all sorts of gasses, elements, particles, and moisture, making it harder for the bolt of electric charge to reach the ground in a straight line. All except this one. The lightning in this Essence vial is perfectly linear in shape, looking almost like a white-yellow arrow without the head. This particular bolt was effected by the magic in the air caused by the Storm and shot straight to earth with no jigging or branching like normal. It hums idly and harmlessly in the vial but be wary when grasping the glass - it still packs a wallop! Fluid Tar Super sticky, dark brown in color and responsible for the lakes asphalt found in many places around the world as well as the fossilized remains therein; bitumen is so thick and heavy that in order to flow it must first be diluted or heated. At least, it's supposed to be. Instead of being so thick it was able to ensnare ancient mammoths who unfortunately happened upon it, this substance is light, thin, and totally free flowing. When shaken, the black liquid inside the vial splashes against and trickles down the sides with the ease of water. Despite losing its characteristic thickness however, the matter in the vial still retains its stickiness and sulfuric scent. Occasionally bubbles will even rise to the surface to expand and pop; just showing that this substance is still as actively tar-like as ever, regardless of the lower viscosity.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:15 pm
The Raevan Quote: 
Soul: Griffin
Name: Dorian
Gender: Male
Alignment: Lawful Good
Personality: With an Essence that's as straight as an arrow, it's only fitting for the Raevan to be too. What's more, with the Soul of a griffin, it makes sense that he would also be quite the noble being as well. With these two things molded together, Dorian is truly a Lawful Good character and a knight in shining armor.
First and foremost Dorian sees himself, and is, a knight. His home is his castle, women are all ladies and men of a higher standing are all lords to this Raevan. He is gallant, loyal, and chivalrous. He'll do his best to keep his word to those he promised it to and should he fail to for whatever reason, will be quick to offer his sincere apologies. While he has his proper, polite and well meaning face, Dorian is absolutely fierce when protecting his friends or his domicile. Threats will not be overlooked and he will quickly charge in to protect the weak when even the slightest thing seems amiss. A loss is considered a chance to learn while a win may be gloated over and a brief chance to be cocky.
To tie into his Essence, you will probably never see a Raevan more on the straight and narrow as Dorian. He will not break laws, even if it means taking longer to get somewhere because there was a 'No Trespassing' sign tacked up near the shortcut everyone else took. He's also rather stubborn, especially when he has his sights set on something, doing everything in his power (and within the laws) to get from point A to point B and/or what he wants. Also, just as lightning is quick to appear and strike, Dorian is quite the excitable one. While he would linger at the door with the mindset to protect his castle and its grounds, the idea of going some place new on a sort of adventure would make him eager to explore. New things and oddities amaze him and he'll be quick to point out and show off something he finds, even if it's something totally mundane or normal to the person he's showing it to.
While Dorian has his good side, he also has his faults. To start with, he's bold to the point of being rather brash and brutally honest/straight to the point (while the latter could be seen as a good thing, it might get him into more trouble than he realizes though it's not intended to get him into a fight). He's prideful and headstrong so this could lead to an air of pompousness, though he will try not to look down on others in his early developments. Once he gains his own set of morals and codes of honor, he will stick by them no matter what, even if it ends up as his downfall in certain situations (for example: he could have a moral that says he will not strike a woman no matter what, even if one is trying to do him harm). Given his noble soul and straight going Essence, Dorian will likely be quite the leader, though his mentality that he is a knight and not a lord of his castle will make him prone to following leads as well, and always to a T unless said lead ends up being unjust (to which he'll promptly say 'no' and hightail it out of there). Also, his Alignment may make him quick to condemn those he sees as friends should they do something malicious, no matter the scale. His trust and friendship may be easy to make once he gets to know someone, but break it once and there is no way he will give a second chance without serious and extremely innocence proving measures in his eyes, and even then he might not even give said offender another glance.
Quirks:
-Attraction to gold and jewel-like things. In lore, griffins were used to guard the treasures of kings, so Dorian would have an attraction to the stuff. This could lead to compulsive hoarding.
-As an attachment to that, he could possibly be able to identify various stones and precious metals without looking at a text or some such thing.
-Need for things to be aligned/straight. While he won't obsessively do this, Dorian would prefer if things like photos, chairs, and knick-knacks were aligned in an orderly fashion and he may make things so in another person's home as well as his own.
-Dislike of horses. A griffin's fiercest opponent was the horse, so there's a natural dislike that precedes him.
-Aversion of water. It doesn't mix with electricity after all!
-Big on monogamy. Griffins were said to choose only one to mate with and should said mate die they would go on forever without finding another. While I think griffins would live in prides like lions, the hierarchy would be similar to a wolf pack where only one male and one female mate and the rest is made up of family members. Should Dorian find love, he would be devoted to them entirely. Should the relationship sour and disband, he would go quite awhile alone before even thinking of looking for another.
Food Source: Given the Essence, the Raevan would feed off of electricity. Natural sources like a thunderstorm would be a full course in an instant but with the uncertainty of those happening without the right meteorological ingredients, drawing electricity out of sockets, lights, or other places would be where he'd get his food most often.
---------------Powers:---------------
Passive:
-Goblets made from a griffin's claw were said to be so adept at detecting poison they would change the color of the beverage contained in the cup at the slightest presence therein. Dorian could share this ability as well. (though since it may be odd if he goes sticking his fingers into everyone's drink, maybe this talent could work throughout his body?)
-Current : Dorian always has a continuous current of electricity within his body. It's natural and touching him will make your hand feel tingly (unless he's upset or angered, in which this current will increase).
- White Feather : Dorian grows a single white feather once during a long span of time (possibly a year or more). This feather will contain the power to cure blindness of a single person like griffin feathers were reputed to do. ((As a note, this power would only develop in late-Sigel or Valsaros stage to prevent him from being too overpowered and even then it will not happen often. ))
- Rod : While outside, Dorian would be a natural attraction for lightning. This would help with feeding during storms so he's not flying around everywhere trying to eat, but could also help charge up his powers or use it to direct lightning in and out of his body.
-Draw and Store : Dorian may be able to pull charges out of electric things and use it to store a small amount of lightning in his body to use for active powers, instead of using the kind naturally in his body which would weaken him after using.
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Active:
-Charge : Feeding Technique
-Expel : Dorian releases amounts of electricity contained in his body as an attack. He may become weakened after if the lightning sent out wasn't saved up though. (Yes, you may make Pikachu jokes)
-Bolt : Dorian releases a straight bolt of lightning from his fingertips at his opponent.
-In and Out : Using his Rod ability, Dorian will be able to direct a bolt of lightning in and out of his body at his opponent. This would likely be less filtered than a Bolt attack (therefore more powerful) but it is limited to thunderstorm conditions or being in a place where lightning can be drawn (like a power plant).
-Direct : Dorian can direct his electric blood/current to various parts of his body at will, enabling him to focus and concentrate his lightning's release out of his body (ie. to his fist for a punch with a large shock to it).
-Form : Dorian is able to form and mold his electricity into a straight object (like a sword) to fight with.
-
Possible Font Color: #e0d029
Quote: Fel Essence: Fluid Tar
Soul: Coast Horned Lizard
Name: Dorian
Gender: Male
Alignment: Neutral Good
Personality: The tar has lost its characteristic thickness and the low viscosity of the Essence has transferred over; taking noticeable root in the Raevan's personality. Since low viscous fluids are easy to disturb, Dorian is too and this makes the Raevan extremely skittish.
In a controlled, familiar environment he will readily appear calm - much like still water - but that appearance is easily shattered with a sudden movement or sound. Outside he would be much worse, the skittish personality leading him to duck for cover at a passing leaf should it come up from behind and take him by surprise. Worst case scenario - he breaks out into tears and screams. When he is able to be coaxed outside - this would take a lot of encouragement and reassurance to do among many other things - he will be found on high alert, floating close to (commonly behind) his guardian; folded in on himself with his elbows tight against his sides, visibly fidgeting or trembling with his wings drooping low in an attempt to make himself as small as possible to avoid detection, confrontation, or worse - conversation. He's very soft spoken, that nervous streak leading him to whisper and the act of talking to someone he's not familiar with may cause some stammering.
This easy to disturb trait can also make him quick to other emotions as well. For example, he could be easily amused by something as simple as a stuffed animal or easily riled by a single ill-meaning word. This will make it simple for him to go from a negative emotion to a positive one as well as vice versa, both simplifying and complicating his character.
Quirks:
-Resistance around/fear of fire. Tar releases two highly flammable gases which Dorian will still produce as a Raevan, so he'll be naturally leery.
-"Sticky Fingers". Dorian would break the saying 'look with your eyes, not with your hands' a lot with this, meaning he's rather explorative/inquisitive when coming upon something new - after he's able to get over his apprehension about it that is. He'll be one to handle, turn over, and examine things in order to fully grasp what it is. He's a physical sort of learner; he has to do in order to fully grasp a concept.
-When his tar-blood dries it will take on the consistency, appearance, and texture of road tar. Road tar comes from natural tar which has dried and become a solid. While it will be hard to remove, once it is worked at it will steadily crumble away.
Food Source: Viscosity, namely the higher variants. Natural tar itself has extremely high viscosity which makes it very, very slow when poured. Other highly viscous items (to name a few) include honey, molasses, peanut butter, and glass. When the Raevan feeds he would be absorbing that slow fluidity trait from such things. This would leave the container of peanut butter - for example - just a jar of light, watery goop instead of a thick, pasty substance. I figure the higher the viscosity, the more filled he would be, so peanut butter might be a staple in his diet while honey or glue might be good as a 'pick-me-up' or snack. Low viscosity things like water or cooking oil may have little to no effect on him.
I'm thinking though that, after he feeds, Dorian will be harder to disturb for a period of time as the meal raises his own viscosity levels and makes him more stable.
---------------Powers:---------------
Passive:
-More natural than passive really, but Dorian's rune will release small (read: harmless) amounts of methane and hydrogen sulfide always. When frightened, distressed, or feeling a very powerful emotion as well as feeding, the ppm (Parts Per Million) of these two gases will increase (though as a Frei they won't increase much past smell, cough, and eye irritation unless he was extremely stressed or frightened). When he calms back down, the ppm will go back to normal and the gases will have a chance to disperse.
-Bleeds watery tar in place of blood.
-When tar is heated it can cause burns to the skin. If Dorian is overheated (say on a very hot day or while with a high fever) he will be able to to damage to others via touch as his tar-blood heats up substantially.
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Active:
-Feeding Technique
-Dorian would have the ability to take away and "melt" fluids with higher viscosity down to the low viscosity of water or oil with just a touch
-Ability to spit tar at enemies (?)
-Able to shoot jets of tar out of his eyes
-Possibly able to give fluids the stickiness of tar (?)
-
Possible Font Color: #5b3b24
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:16 pm
The Guardian  ---------------General Information---------------
Name: Ezekiel Nathan Farris (Goes by ‘Zeke’, never mentions his birth name other than professionally or on documents)
Nickname(s): Angel, Zekey, ‘Doctor Zeke’, Darling, Cupcake/cakes
Date of Birth: April 12th, 1985
Age: Twenty-five
Gender: Male
Marital Status: In a relationship (with Brad Lee)
Orientation: Homosexual
Religion: Agnostic
Race: Human
Heritage: English, Dutch, and Austrian descent
Nationality: Gaian
Occupation: Veterinarian and Graduate Student
Home Address: 157th and Teller Streets, Corner Heights Apartment Complex, Room 4C, Durem
Work Address: Durem All-Animal Clinic and Care 1054 Christensen Drive, Durem
---------------Appearance---------------
Height: 5’9”
Weight: 157lbs
Hair Color: Dyed plum purple and sour apple green, naturally black
Hair Length: Varied, long in back, short in front
Hair Style: Choppily cut, with a bangs and a Mohawk on the top of his head. Zeke’s hair is shoulder blade length in the back which he wears tied up in public and loose at home.
Eye Color: Caramel brown
Skin Tone: Pale peach
Physical Build: Mesomorphic
Distinguishing Marks: Several tattoos (most of which are not visible), dyed hair, multiple piercings, and a short beard on his chin (not seen in the art displayed)
Clothing: Business attire for work, anything comfortable and colorful (though he does wear black too) at home or off duty. He leans more towards a raver/grunge style though; bright colors, long gloves, jeans, etc.
Accessories: Several piercings located over his body; ears, eyebrows, lip, tongue, and navel. Also wears bracers and necklaces on occasion and is fond of belts and gloves of various lengths.
Written Description of Appearance: Zeke is a mesomorph in terms of body types; having a naturally athletic build, but maintains his form through exercise and eating well. He is a man that stands at a few inches below six feet tall, roughly five feet, nine inches with his hair not styled. His weight is normal for his height and he wears it well, he also has a bit of muscle in his arms and legs thanks to lifting things in his line of work as well as his body type. His overall appearance could be seen as “freakish”, with oddly cut and dark purple/bright green dyed hair, several piercings and tattoos, but he’s a good person at heart. His skin is a pale peach tone that burns more than it tans, making trips to the beach infrequent though he enjoys the water. For his attire he prefers comfort to brand, enjoying solid black as well as bright colors and prints. For work he wears business clothing and the common white doctor’s jacket. His accessories are numerous thanks to his piercings, but he also wears wrist bracers, necklaces, and belts placed around his hips. Generally he hopes to cast off a ‘fun loving’ appearance rather than one that would frighten people off.
---------------Personality and Traits---------------
Written Description of Personality: Zeke’s a laid back individual who really does roll with the punches. He’s not quick to anger but he will stand up for himself if need be though he’d rather avoid conflict. Even when on the clock he’s pretty eccentric and fun loving, trying to take the seriousness out of everyday life and have those around him have fun too. Zeke enjoys playful teasing and flirting, meaning no harm towards others though he has tuned this down a bit in recent years, he just does it to have fun. With this air about him, he does like to go out and have a good time, enjoying a good rave once in awhile. He’s not fond of crowds though and goes for the music or for friends to have a good time with them. Zeke is also charitable and, given his line of work, he’s likely to donate to more animal or environmental related causes but he does have a blood donor card.
Another thing that’s been said about him is that he’s always smiling, which is true. He’ll smile despite being ill or hurt, just because he doesn’t want others to worry so much. He’s the kind of person who, when injured, smile in public, though behind closed doors by himself start hissing in pain. To call him a ’ray of sunshine’ would be correct. Zeke’s also very modest, if you do something for him he’ll feel he has to do something in return for you, even if it was a gift. He’s getting better at that, learning to accept things as truly ’from the heart’, rather than jump at every little thing as something he’d have to repay. He’s a very touch-oriented sort of person, meaning he loves to be held, cuddled, or interacting in a physical way. Hugs or any sort of friendly touch from him is a sign he thinks someone a friend.
Despite all of that, he does hold grudges against those who have wronged him and doesn’t forget those sorts of things. Not to say he doesn’t remember good things, he does, but sore experiences stick out. Since he’s not quick to anger he tends to bottle things up and when something does rile him up he tends to lash out, displacing his emotions, not verbally or physically on a person or animal, but rather on inanimate objects (His trash bin at work is an example of this, he’s put his foot into it enough that it has a substantial dent). If afraid, that fear can make him blind to everything around him, leading him to say things that could possibly ruin him. He doesn’t mean it, adrenaline really isn’t his friend and he’ll do his best to forgive whomever he may have insulted.
Habits: Zeke has few habits but the ones he has do stick out. The major one he has isn’t really bad, but people may find it annoying or hypnotizing; he habitually sucks on his lip ring when thinking. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it either, but it seems to fuel his train of thought and/or act as a metronome to keep his thoughts on track. Another habit of his is that once he adjusts to a schedule, any sort of disruption to it can cause him to fret. It’s not really noticeable, but he does inwardly worry about not being somewhere at the right time or being thrown out of whack, but it is there. Being a veterinarian also fuels his most noticeable habit; he compulsively washes his hands after doing most anything. Mostly this is seen before or after eating, tending his piercings, meeting someone, using the restroom, or even touching a doorknob. He’s not germaphobic, but he does carry around single packed wipes and he’d prefer not to expose anyone to anything he’s been dealing with. It's the same reason he wears gloves all the time; not only for fashion but to protect his hands.
Hobbies: Raving, reading, dancing, taking walks, trying new things, enjoying life and having fun in general
Philosophies: Try anything at least once, be spontaneous, live for the now but look towards the future too
---------------Past---------------
History: Zeke’s had a fairly normal history with nothing major really happening to him throughout his life, he’s kept himself “below the radar” so to speak.
He grew up in Barton to middle class parents as their first and only child. He was named after both his grandfathers, his first name being from his father’s side and his middle from his mother’s. Zeke wasn’t spoiled but rather taught that everyone is equal though many weren’t given equal opportunities and that he had to work for the things he wanted. He never really acted out or went through a ’rebellious’ child/teen stage in life, only altering his appearance and getting piercings and tattoos after he moved out and paying for them all on his own dollar. Zeke was an average student but succeeded greatly in English and the biological sciences while math and languages were his downfalls. He attended veterinary school after a few tries at taking the SATs and finally achieving the scores needed for that. Again he was an average student, but on a greater scale than in high school.
In college he came up with his philosophy to ’do things while you can’ and ’you only live once, so make the most of it’ after the untimely death of one of his favorite professors who followed the same ideals. In a way he was living the way his instructor wanted his students to live; as hard workers but those who would take some time to have fun with life and do things that were unexpected. After he finished school and graduated, Zeke started interning at various animal hospitals, clinics, and shelters, but never agreed with the policies that had rescued or handed over animals euthanized after a certain age or duration of time. While working overtime at one of these places and contemplating quitting, he stumbled on an article about a veterinary hospital and shelter that was (in the article’s words) “revolutionizing the care and treatment of animals in the clinic’s care”. Intrigued, he researched more and more until he decided that the facility was his heaven on earth job-wise and immediately applied. Once he heard the good news he moved to the city the clinic was in, Durem.
Settling into Durem and his job quite easily, the transition from Aekea to the western city a breath of fresh air for him. The clinic he now works for really was heaven on Earth, the young man enjoying the hours he had, the people he worked with, and the clients he took to help. Over the course of a few years he made himself at home, just about knowing the city like the back of his own hand. He especially enjoyed the summers in the city and was (still is) quite the people watcher during the season's events. His hours at work remained the same, but he would always be happy to vouch and do overtime for anyone who needed it. It was one of these vouches that ended up bringing his most beloved person into his life, though the circumstances of how the two met were less than magical at first.
Zeke was doing a late shift in place of a colleague in the wee hours of one summer night, waiting for the veterinarian who would be taking over in a few hours while idly wondering if his admission forms for Durem's graduate schools were received yet and just starting to dig into an extremely late supper of delivered Chinese take-out. He was starving, having not eaten anything since his small lunch hours before which caused him to buy double of everything he normally ordered. He had his feet propped up on the secretary counter at the front of the clinic, attention distracted by one of those late night talk show programs on the television bolted to the ceiling as well as his meal. Just has he had taken the collection of lo mein noodles off his chopsticks the doors to the clinic burst open, startling him greatly and causing him to jump out of his seat and nearly choke on the food. When he stopped the coughing caused by lodged Chinese he immediately looked to the main doors that were just pushed inward.
Who he saw standing there was a tall man in great distress holding a puppy with severe injuries. In an instant he was on the other side of the counter, leading the man with the dog to the back rooms to help the injured animal. The puppy, among her injuries, had a broken leg and though Zeke had done surgeries to fix this, that particular room was locked and he did not have the right keys. Still, he was able to reset the bone and bandage it up with the other wounds, plus give the puppy some painkillers to ease it into sleep and out of pain for the time being. After the dog was in the kennel and completely out Zeke took it to himself to console the man who had brought her in, as well as get the necessary papers filled out in due time. Though protocol called for the papers to be filled out and the man sent home, the younger man couldn't convince himself to so he invited the man to stay. His invitation was accepted, and so Zeke went about easing the man down, offering an impromptu dinner of the take-out he ordered. Soon after he and the man, who introduced himself as Brad Lee, were chatting animatedly and Zeke was able to console and brighten the man easily. The other veterinarian who was scheduled to take over for the younger man never showed, so the two spent the rest of the night in the clinic until the morning when Zeke's boss showed up.
Zeke told of the situation and all that happened. His boss, a fatherly sort of man, understood quite well and though Zeke was scheduled to work later on in the day he gave the man the day off to go home and sleep. During that chat he had missed his bus, the next one not coming for another hour or so. In thanks, he was offered a ride from Brad which, after a bit of "I don't want to be a bother" and "you're too kind" from him, Zeke accepted. When he was dropped off at his apartment complex Zeke told Brad he was welcome to drop by to check on the puppy any time and that he thanked him for his company the night before as well as the ride. The next day when Zeke was at work, Brad dropped by in what the man figured was a visit for the recovering animal. It was that, but also a visit for him, Brad bringing him lunch as a thank you. They continued to talk then and each time the older man came to visit. When the puppy was scheduled to be released to Brad, the older man asked Zeke if he would like to have dinner with him sometime. Zeke agreed readily and soon after the two began dating.
That was a few months ago. Now the two are a deeply loving couple and are totally devoted to the other. Each man finds a joy and love they never knew they could have, plus a man who each agrees is their "other half".
---------------Family:---------------
Father: Joshua Farris
Mother: Nancy Farris
Siblings: Alex Vizcatti-Falcone - Sister (by name, not by blood)
Grandparents: Ezekiel and Margaret Farris, Nathan and Denise Cromwell
Other: Various aunts, uncles, and cousins
Brad Lee - Boyfriend
Pets: A Maine Coon kitten named Dust Bunny
---------------Other---------------
Likes: His job, raving, Blow Pop lollipops, jelly beans, reading, watching tv/movies, astronomy/space, seeing people happy, good food, mixed drinks, music, massages, dancing, hot showers, sleeping in on weekends, animals, plants, walks/going out, fireworks, free time, weekends, the Internet, having fun in general
Dislikes: The fact he can’t cook, animal abusers, people who can’t have fun, raw onions, seaweed, being drunk, straight gin, people who make assumptions, long hours/days (that aren’t weekends), homework, surprise tests/quizzes, projects being piled on top of one another, being called 'Ezekiel'
Skills: Zeke doesn’t think he has many skills when he actually has a fair few. He’s good at following directions to a ‘T’ and can get work done in a timely manner when he sets it up right, he has both animal and people skills though he prefers the former to the latter, he’s creative and does have dance skills, and finally (which is the greatest skill he has) he has the ability to bring sunshine or color into people’s lives by being who he is.
Font: Size 11 with #18d845 of green.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:17 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:18 pm
Writing Samples Sample One Family Matters
Participants: Zeke Farris, Alex Vizcatti-Falcone and Zul
Status: [PRP], Complete Zeke travels to Gambino to surprise his beloved with a visit and bring the older man a gift. When he knocks on the door of the seaside residence, however, he comes face to face with a strange figure the likes of whom he has never seen before... Sample Two Playing Dress Up
Participants: Zeke Farris, Alex Vizcatti-Falcone, Brad Lee, and Zul
Status: [PRP], Underway ........ Sample Three A Strange Animal
Participants: Zeke Farris, Beauregard, and Rivener
Status: [PRP], Complete Zeke goes out to pick up lunch for his coworkers and comes upon a singing whale and Rivener! Sample Four Madness? THIS. IS. CHRISTMAS!
Participants: Alex, Brad, Zeke & Zul...
...Louie, Zahara, Dust Bunny, Faust, Altair...
...and a gaggle of new pets from animated ice cream...
Status: [PRP], Underway The entire family gets together to enjoy Christmas morning with presents, food, and more animals than a not-for-profit zoo! Chaos imminent.
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:19 pm
Other Ideas Fel Essences:Visible Imagination A wispy, buff yellow colored substance floats within this vial - flowing like smoke but with an almost solid looking core. While from far away it doesn't look like anything special, when you near it you are able to see brief flashes of light, color and even detect the barest hints of sound. Drawing the bottle close to your eye and looking into the wisps, you would see and hear the past imaginings of many people within this Essence. After awhile, you feel your own mind start to slip into a daydream, zoning out to the mix of colors, sounds, and shapes whirling lazily around inside the Essence's core. As that happens, the Essence begins to absorb and add your own idle thoughts to its collection, rousing you from your drifting state and making you wonder for a few moments where you are and what you were supposed to be doing as you put the vial back down and move on through the collection. Silver Lining "Every cloud has a silver lining", or so the saying goes, but one particular cloud actually had this metaphorical glitter. When the Storm encroached upon the world and blackened the skies with rain, one little puff of a cloud strangely remained its normal white color. Once the Storm finally ended and all the clouds dispersed, the only thing that remained of that single unchanged cloud was its pure silver outline which floated safely down to the Earth below. Simply holding onto the jar that contains it makes anyone feel positive that nothing will ever go wrong and if it does, there will always be something very good waiting just around the corner. Agonizing Aloe A plain-looking sprig of aloe vera in a vial (or jar). It looks no different from the normal plant until the stalk is broken and the juice rubbed on a burn or wound. The injury is then healed at a slower than normal rate and the pain of said injury becomes totally unbearable.
(The original idea was that when the aloe was applied; the injury would get progressively worse rather than better until the Essence wore off. Another idea is that the wound heals at a faster rate but the pain becomes unbearable, but I think regular aloe vera helps heal an injury faster, so this might be null and void. Either way; this detail is up for debate.) Non-Eroding Stone Sitting in this Essence jar is the roughest stone you'll ever see, looking as though it just broke off a large shelf of rock or a mountain. Its edges are sharp and its faces are rough, and if you happen to grip it too hard your hand will more than likely be pierced. Despite its appearance, the rock was found on the bed of a raging river, surrounded by smooth stones of the same type that had been eroded to that finish. This stone, however, seems to defy that law of being worn down over time and no matter what goes over it, the rock will not be smoothed. Fool's Gold A large nugget of gold at first glance, any prospective millionaire will be disheartened at the next when lo and behold this precious metal has transformed itself into worthless lead (or a pocket of sand). When left alone or untouched for a short amount of time it will turn itself back into the chunk of gold, waiting for the next unsuspecting gold hunter to find it. Visible Imagination/Any (Aurora Borealis?) Fel Essence: Visible Imagination
Soul: Any (Looking at Aurora Borealis)
Name: Cael or Dorian
Gender: Androgynous or Male
Alignment:
Personality:
Quirks:
Food Source: Imaginings/thoughts formed by boredom, "zoning out", and daydreaming. When the Raevan feeds, it will devour the images and sounds created in a person's head when they let their imaginations take control. Various imaginations will have some sort of effect on the Raevan's personality (IE: Malicious thoughts will turn the Raevan malicious for a period of time and it will act as such, while romantic thoughts will turn the Raevan's personality gooey and lovey and it will act like so, especially towards the person said thoughts were about). The effects of feeding off these thoughts on the daydreamer's side would be suddenly snapping out of their daydreaming trance and inability to recall their imagined scenarios/thoughts. Depending on how much the Raevan feeds, the person would either not remember bits and pieces or the entire thing.
---------------Powers:---------------
Passive:
-An ability that causes those around the Raevan to create and slip into a daydream
-Collection: When the Raevan feeds, the thoughts people imagine up are used as nourishment but are also 'collected' within the Raevan for use later. (See Active Power #2)
Active:
-Feeding Technique
-A power where the Raevan is able to project things from daydreams it has fed off of and/or collected. Could be for show, though the idea of a Raevan forming and releasing life size thoughts to attack would be rather neat, especially given how random some imaginings can be. Could also be used to create distractions. Silver Lining/Any (Aurora Borealis?) Fel Essence: Silver Lining
Soul: Any (Though looking strongly at Aurora Borealis)
Name: Jericho
Gender: Male
Alignment:
Personality:
Quirks: Attraction to silver objects, leading to collecting most anything with silver in it (or just colored that way). Might lead to hoarding and at first theft because of this.
Food Source: Feeds directly off pessimism alone in people because that is not restricted to emotions; it's a mindset.
Pessimism:
-the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems, etc.
-the doctrine that the existing world is the worst of all possible worlds, or that all things naturally tend to evil.
-the belief that the evil and pain in the world are not compensated for by goodness and happiness.
---------------Powers:---------------
Passive:
-
-
Active:
-Feeding Technique
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:20 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 2:21 pm
Credits [Lab 305], the Raevans, and official artwork is © to Kyoupiruchi.
Zeke Farris is © to me.
Zeke's Art is © to Dracul Vladimir IV, Zanaroo, Abegweitian, or Ramcakes.
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 10:22 am
Thread is pretty much complete, so I hereby open it for critiques!
Stuff to touch upon:
-Writing sample(s) will be added a little later, I'm trying to expand on an idea for this section that I had.
-I'm reading over alignments for the Raevan, those will be added soon, and I'll give word when they are. Added 'Chaotic Neutral' to both pairings of Raevan and Essence.
-I have a few names, but I'm trying to narrow them down. Any name suggestions will be gladly taken into consideration. 'Lunon' chosen for a name! Added another name 'Hywel' in for consideration.
-Personality will be worked upon for the Raevan shortly.
-Help with powers, both passive and active, is appreciated.
Thank you once again for taking a look~
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:12 pm
I love weeping willows and a tree soul is a nice difference from the other plant based Raevans I think.
You're first essence is interesting but not exactly what I expected from the name. I don't think it is necessarily true that ripples remove reflections. If you've ever dropped a stone into a pool and watched, you'll still see your reflection only now it is distorted due to the rippling. Trust me, reflection essences are hard. My first concept was something to that effect and I could never get it to work the way I wanted. But I say, keep working on it if you want it. I wish I could be more helpful with this one, though I hope you can find a way for it to work.
Personally, I like your Dull Opal essence. A lackluster jewel and giving the Raevan the ability to feed off colors just seems so interesting. Not just because of watching the colors fade from the objects it feeds from, but I somehow think the Raevan could end up taking those colors onto itself because of it or something like that.
I don't know how helpful this was, as I said I'm not the greatest when it comes to critiquing these things. But I hope you got something from it. I look forward to seeing how you develop your concepts more. Good luck!
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:20 pm
Never Ending Ripple/Weeping Willow - I have to say that this one is very interesting. Just the possibilities that could occur from this. The feeding upon reflections is very unique, but like Ebony said not exactly what a ripple does... Maybe it just makes the reflection blurred and distorted?
Perhaps instead of being able to cast a reflection, all reflections cast are choppy? Like looking into water that's being disturbed? Where the reflection's still there, just blurred and not easily made out.
I think a vain Raevan would be irritated by this ability... XD
For other powers... a ripple is a wave of sorts... so you could look into waves for ideas. Perhaps also looking into causing someone's vision to be distorted and blurred for a short period of time? Like what they're looking at is rippled?
----------
Dull Opal/Weeping Willow - I really like the feeding ability on this one. You've really thought it out. Fading the colors of the world... Reminds me a bit of the song "Colors of the Wind" from Pocahontas. XDD
As far as powers for this one... Being able to mess with the colors present? It could be sort of like feeding. The Raevan wouldn't be able to change something from red to green or something but could make something red become orange or purple by adding yellow or blue? Could also make it pink or a darker shade of red by adding white or black?
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 1:28 pm
I was going to suggest something about adding colors myself Nikiana, but then I thought about how the essence works. Not really able to you know, since the essence makes things fade. An ink essence would be more suitable for that ability of which there already is one, Shushida's Self-Indulgent Ink.
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