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 Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 3:56 pm
×× {BURN'S ØFFICIAL WRITING CØNTEST ... ending note} × //// Hello, once again. Sorry the results have been coming in slowly... it's [hopefully] a sign that the judges are reading all the entries carefully, though!
I'd like to offer my sincere thanks to everybody who submitted poem(s), short storie(s), or both to this contest. &, as this guild's captain, I order you to not be distressed or discouraged if you didn't win, & I demand that you all keep on writing... Just not for this contest, since, you know, it's over & all. As a writer myself, I know how personal, sincere, & "open" writing can be, & although I only read over the poetry entries, since those were the category of writing I was judging, I can tell from those that many people really submitted entries written "from the heart" that really "bared their soul" in various ways. I really appreciate that trust & openness. I, personally, based my judging decisions primarily off of what entries invoked the most emotion in me, & what entries I could really relate to & understand the most... get into the person's head & know where they are coming from... see through the person's eye most clearly & meaningfully. There were many, many poetry submissions that were really well written, used descriptive words & all that, but in the end, I couldn't decipher much meaning in them, just pretty sentences that added up to a lot of nothing, or well-written commentary that didn't make much sense or wasn't really applicable.
As a writing expert, with my specialty being in poetry, my primary suggestion to you all is to find a way to utilize your pretty words & sentences to convey real emotions & something that really means something.
xo; Kayla / Elysia x
Burn's Captain; • • *POETRY section {the WINNERS}//// FIRST[place] ——{[ MT Ocean :: "Ocean Breeze" )) ×Three out of the five poetry judges -- myself (elysia x) included -- put this poem as number one on their list of their top 10 favourite poetry submissions to this contest. So, congratulations, MT Ocean -- you're the indisputable first place winner! I can't speak for the other judges of course, but the reason your poem was number one on my list was because it was the only poem submitted that invoked in me a sort of emotion that the best of poems should. Poetry can have many purposes, but above all, I'd say feeling would be at the top of the list. What you conveyed wasn't all that different from what other people conveyed, but you conveyed it in a way that touches people, that other people's poems didn't. Congrats smile //// SECOND[place] ——{[ lem0nsquare :: "Yellow Coat" )) ×The two judges that didn't put MT Ocean's poem as #1 put this poem as #1, making lem0nsquare's second place position just as doubtlessly earned as MT Ocean's. Congrats, lem0nsquare!//// THIRD[place] ——{[ The Subtle Lord :: "Battle Hymn of the Forgotten or the Unwanted" )) ×Apparently your 4th grade writing is much more impressive than you probably ever imagined! To tell you the truth, one of Alustrial777's poems would have won third place if I hadn't ranked this poem so high up on my list. So I definitely feel qualified to speak a little bit about why this poem won third place, since it was, on the surface, a pretty unlikely win. You said you wrote it when you were feeling depressed. I noticed depression was a very common theme amongst the poetry submissions, but you didn't try to communicate it with a much of nonsense imagery of black swirls of the dying hope of your pitch black shadow soul or some other nonsense that constitutes a failure of a poem. You were straightforward, & got straight to the point. & the points you made were so valid; I feel you said things outright that so many people can relate to, but never talk about. I think the line: "Words leave the biggest wounds" is what won me over. I'd also like to say that I was just as impressed, if not more, with your poem "Ashes to Ashes". I absolutely adored it. However, only one other judge put that poem on their top 10 list, & they ranked it below the poem that won. Keep on writing, you have such talent!//// HONORABLE [mentions] —— )) ×Alustrial777 :: Ah, Alustrial, how high the judges ranked your poems! You would have almost definitely won third place, actually, if the total of the authors poetry submissions were being considered instead of each poem separately. Although this contest has no prizes for honorable mentions, I've decided to make an exception & reward you 5k, one third of the reward for Third Place, for your exemplatory submissions & how close you came to winning. At least one of your poems was on all five judges top 10 favourites list. One judge placed your poem "Truth" as their second favourite; another judge placed "Dream" as their third favourite & "Truth" as their fifth. Congrats!
CandycoatedToxins :: Three judges had poems of yours on their lists; one ranked you as number 4, another as number 7, & another [myself] as number 8. This might not seem like it earns you honorary mention, but there was suprisingly little overlap in the judges decisions.
LadyKayHearts :: Your poem "Feel the Burn" made it onto three judges top 10 favourites list, mine included. As I said above to CandycoatedToxins, this might not seem all that honorable, but considering how little overlap there was in the judges decisions, I'd say you deserve a pat on the back [or more... but not an Infernal Spirit, sorry xD ]
PoemAtGunpoint :: Your entry "Possessions of the Merry-Go-Round" was one judge's fifth favourite & another's seventh favourite. I, too, found it to be quite impressive, but didn't put it on my list just because I'm not very fond of that particular poetry format. Congrats, though!
xxHoneyNutxx :: Your poem "Lillies in a Stream" made it onto three judges top 10 favourites list, mine included. That said, it was near the bottom on all three of those lists. But still, be proud... Making it onto three judges top 10 lists was a very rare accomplishment in this contest.
KingdomMage :: The last -- but not least -- of the people whose poems made it onto more than one judge's favourites list. Your poem "Dreams of You" was very simple, but there was heart & emotion in it that shined through, & makes me wonder if I shouldn't have ranked you higher on my list. Congrats.; • • *SHORT STORY section {the WINNERS}Finally, Short Story judging results are in! In the end, four out of five of the original judges ended up getting their results to me [Sleeping Whisper was the one who didn't] . However, some of the judges were quite late in responding to me, so I had to find some emergency judges. Kaneda x ended up being our wonderful replacement judge. Due to the confusion that resulted over the judges not being on top of things & the measures I took to fix that ASAP, Octopus Box sent me a list of their top six favourites [the top 10 favourites was required for the judges], & Jeziebel sent me her top 4, so we ended up having seven people weigh in instead of five. & here are the results... //// FIRST[place] ——{[ l e m 0 n s q u a r e :: "On the Outside Looking In" )) ×lem0nsquare, my dear, you must be a very talented writer! First you win second place in the poetry contest, then first place in the short story contest! Congrats! blaugh Your story was the only story all seven judges put on theird list of favourites, & when the points were totaled up, you received 44. Nice!//// SECOND[place] ——{[ SilentSympathy :: "Inescapable Truths" )) ×From what I hear, my dear, you're a very talented writer. Your short story "Inescapable Truths" received a total of 42 points, only two points below the winner's. Also, your short story "War's Little Secret" was quite a success as well; one judge said it was their favourite in the contest, & another judge said it was their second favourite.//// THIRD[place] ——{[ CandycoatedToxins :: "Amadaun" )) ×This short story received 39 points, putting it right up there with the first & second place winners. [No other short story came close to getting as many points as the winning three]. Apparently you're an awesome writer in addition to being an awesomely awesome graphic artist. Congrats!//// HONORABLE [mentions] —— )) ×Since I haven't read the short stories, & cannot provide commentary on them, I'll simply mention the author's whose stories received the highest points.
ImperialDoll :: (On her story "Doll Parts") 27 points.
Deranged Misfit :: (On her story "Till Death") 19 points.
crypticxguide :: (On her story "Creation of the World") 19 points.
CliveDaniel :: (On his story "Silverstone") 18 points.
---
; • RECAP --the PRIZES:(Winners will be contacted via PM very shortly in regards to the personalized graphics portion of their prize)
First Place:
75k
March's Monthly Collectible Envelope
A suprise Monthly Collectible from past months
Three personalized graphics
Second Place:
30k
March's Monthly Collectible Envelope
Two personalized graphics
Third Place:
15k
Two personalized graphics
The personalized graphics will be supplied by:
; • • *CONTEST DEADLINE:March 1, 2009
March 20, 2009.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:01 pm
×× {introducing ... BURN'S ØFFICIAL WRITING CØNTEST} × //// Hello, everyone, & welcome to Burn's next big contest -- a writing contest! So far, in this guild's history, we've hosted two big TekTek contests, one big banner-making contest, one big member contest, at least one big bumping contest, an ongoing big avatar art contest... The one major contest category we haven't covered: writing. This contest will have two sections, a poetry contest section and a short story contest section. The "rules" for what the contest will accept as poetry & short stories are quite broad, so hopefully all you writers out there will be able to participate & show off your talent!
Each section will have five judges, who are quite knowledgable in the area of writing that they're judging. Not all the judges have been decided yet. If you're a talented writer & would like to be a judge for the poetry contest or the short story contest, PM elysia x about it. Don't forget to mention why you think you're qualified to be a judge!
Ready, set... Write!
xo; Kayla / Elysia x
Burn's Captain; • • *Submission Procedure, Rules, & Restrictions {a MUST read}1. No PMing any of the judges of Burn's crew.
2. You may participate in both the poetry contest & the short story contest.
3. You may submit no more than three different pieces of writing to each contest.
4. You may submit writing you have written in the past or posted on Gaia in the past under your current username. Any writing you have posted anywhere else on the internet or under an old username on Gaia you may not submit to this contest.
5. Plagiarism is absolutely forbidden! "Plagiarism" is defined as taking someone else's words or ideas as if they are your own. That includes writing the same thing in a slightly different manner, etc. Breaking this rule will result in severe consequences.
6. You are allowed to quote or reference another's work if it's inspired your writing or has important relevency to it. However, this quote must not be longer than five sentences or lines, must be in italics as well as in quoation marks, & the source of the quote must be clearly stated directly after it.
7. Post each of your submissions as a separate reply to this thread. At the top of the post, please clearly state whether your submission is to the poetry contest or the short story contest, & whether it's your first, second, or third submission to that contest.
8. If you would like to provide commentary on or "explain" your writing submission, you may do so in no more than 12 sentences. Make sure this commentary appears before your piece of writing, & is distinctly seperate from it.
9. All submissions must have a title. And please, please don't title anything "Untitled". This rule exists so it's much easier to keep track of & to identify your submission.
10. Please keep your submissions PG-13. This isn't my rule or any sort of guideline I'd prefer or initiate on my own; it's Gaia's rule. I understand that "curse words" can definitely have their appropriate & valuable place in writing. Please, however, censor when necessary [&, no, removing one letter of the word & replacing it with an asterick or a letter that looks similiar to the replaced one is not sufficient censoring, according to Gaia].
12. There's really no limitations on what sort of poetry or short story you can submit. "Short story" is a title meant to include nearly all writing that doesn't fit in the "poetry" category. Your short story can be fiction, non-fiction, fanfiction... whatever. Just don't make it a freakin' novel or whatever.
13. All submissions are to be final drafts of your work. If you'd like commentary on your writing, would like to exchange writing tips, etc. etc. , then check out the Burn's Official Writing Contest Discussion thread.
14. Crew members may participate. The only people who may not participate are the judges. And no, the judges can not participate in the section that they are not judging. That's too confusing. Judges may participate in the section that they are not judging only [duh].
15. *NEW* Your short story or poem that you submit may not exceed 2,000 words in length. (How do you know how many words long your writing submission is? The "Word Count" feature on Microsoft Word is a good way...) ; • • *JUDGING //Poetry Judges:1. Elysia x [head judge]
2. xxInstantaneousPausexx
3. Ichigo
4. Oxymoronic Genocide
5. death in my darkness trissygirlShort Story Judges:1. BockiBear [head judge]
2. kennychesneyfan
3. aka_vashy13
4. LadyKayHearts
5. SleepingWhisperJudging Procedure: At the end of the contest, all of the judges will write a list of their top 10 favourite pieces of writing, in order from first favourite to last, submitted to the category that they're judging, & PM that list to me. By placing "point values" on each placement [#1 equals 10 points, #2 equals 9 points, etc.], the pieces of writing that get the most points from the five judges combined will win. If any issues with this method occur -- for example, the judges have radically different views -- we'll all converce & sort things out.Winners: There will be two first place winners: one first place poetry winner & one first place short story winner. Subsequently, there will also be two second place winners & two third place winners, in the same nature.; • • *PRIZES:
First Place:
75k
March's Monthly Collectible Envelope
A suprise Monthly Collectible from past months
Three personalized graphics
Second Place:
30k
March's Monthly Collectible Envelope
Two personalized graphics
Third Place:
15k
Two personalized graphics
The personalized graphics will be supplied by:
; • • *CONTEST DEADLINE:March 1, 2009
March 20, 2009.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:03 pm
[[ ×× { r e s e r v e d} × // #0O2 ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:04 pm
[[ ×× { r e s e r v e d} × // #0O3 ]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 4:45 pm
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE WINNERS!
and good job to everybody else! (:
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:01 pm
Poetry; Your Total Regret
can you feel the exhileration?
we have finally run away from our demon
don't you feel any satisfaction?
the freedom is ours for the taken
don't be scared
i'll be your protector
you'll never be abandoned
we don't have to surrender
don't you love me?
your my whole world
your not even letting me be here
so whats wrong my amour?
please, i want to see your smile
your my whole world
and its been a while...
my head is starting to whirl
by yours truly Conscious Voodoo ; Michelle Gomez
I had this poem in my journal for quite a while.
Not sure how old it is..
I might've fixed a few or less words.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:15 pm
@Voodoo: Don't forget to say if it is a poetry entry or a short story entry and what entry it is. Some of us may be confused. >.<
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:24 pm
POETRY!!
It's about a year old.
Save me
By: Kayleigh Doyle {{LKH}}
It seemed so long ago
But it was only yesterday
The day you stole my heart away
The joy you used to bring me
Has now run cold
My heart now ice
Piercing daggers through your soul
All I want is a savior
Pull me away from my dark past
Bring me to the light
But make sure it lasts
I used to think you were the one
But I was wrong
All of the memories
I even believed that stupid love song
All I want
All I need
Is your love
So please save me…
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:26 pm
Poetry; Bestest Friend Ever
i love the way we laugh
pronounced the same words
people say we belonged togather
togather we're sisters that merged
then you started talking behind my back
might as well get a gun to my head
you told me i've been dragging you like a sack
i've been crying in my room
i looked at the times since day care
you held my hand
when i looked lonely and scared
i knew then, you were my companion
you've been denying you changed
then point fingers at me with pride
but then she came; who cheered me up
now i have somebody at my side
by yours truly Conscious Voodoo ; Michelle Gomez
n__n this one poped in my head..
realizing how one or two of my friends really are..
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:32 pm
((Just the first Chapter.. The rest of it is incomplete..))
Short Story
New Arc
Faith. It's a word. Something that is spoken or appears in text. Yes, it does carry meaning, a subjective an fluid meaning that can stir emotions and build rhetoric. But it was just another god damned word. We're going to arrest this man for being unpatriotic. We're going not going to allow his words to go lightly because he's a criminal. And now what bullshit were they feeding him? The soldier clenched his hands over the grips of his rifle as he stared out over the Capitol Mall. The seven mile stretch from the Capitol Building to the Washington Memorial seemed minuscule to him in the still night.
Frozen air left his mouth in a puff, distorted by the face mask that served him in dual purposes. It might have kept his lips from chapping, but it also made him look like the type you didn't negotiate with. The second assumption would be correct. These people were using their words to extremes that empowered them to do things that no man should ever do. In their unending march to D.C., men had been trampled under foot. A National Guardsman had been stabbed in the street the week before with no more provocation than the announcement that he would be there when they arrived. 'There' being where Captain Kenneth Sipes now stood.
These people had the gall to pass such judgment. In their minds, they had the right to kill whoever they damn well pleased, and why? Because that's how they interpreted a book written thousands of years ago about their God. They were doing the right thing. They were upholding the prophecy. This is what God wants! We can't let him down! The captain would have spit if it wasn't for his face mask. The ignorance; they were justifying death in God's name? If they had only known what they had become. If she had listened to herself. That b***h was as blind as the rest of them. It was his fault for trusting her. His fault for loving her.
[CHAPTER ONE]
How It Ends
I can't.. I can't.. I can't... Feedback, analysis, response.. Think this through. What are you being asked to do this? Why? You can reason with them! They're still people! She can be reasoned with!
Ai saw the rows of sandbags and stopped mid step. They appeared out of the fog like the tree that always killed you on those reckless nights. He had done that to her. Of course he rubbed off on her, that much time with him would have changed anyone's train of thought. She saw movie stereotypes, spoke for people's body language, exaggerated impersonations in stories. All the things that had made her fall in love with him. The one thing he couldn't change though was her faith. The fortifications were empty and for a moment her heart skipped. Another sign of God's will, another payment for her faith! The soldiers were gone! She would make it! Her pace quickened and she left the rest of the congregation behind her as rows of sandbag bunkers sped past. Nothing would stop her. Even if they had been there, she would have just kept walking. She would have fought and screamed and prayed. She started praying. The dark figure was hunched and coughing into the ground violently; the rifle slung over his back was silhouetted clearly in the fog. 'Lord, father in heaven, forgive my trespasses and I will forgive the trespasses-' She was interrupted abruptly by a sound that made her jump, that startled her so fiercely, she simply froze in place. "Sup, Ai." The soldier was sitting on the sandbag wall now, staring up at her with a wounded grin. She couldn't see under the brim of his helmet, but if the sound of his voice wasn't enough, the bold black letters written across his helmet confirmed his identity.
"Surprising, I know. I volunteered right before all of this started, and wouldn't you know my contract is for six years. I'll have to admit though, Sergeant Jack Jensen flows pretty well, doesn't it?" His sentence ended in a wheeze and he immediately started coughing again as he tried to inhale. Ai stood there, staring down at him blankly. A million thoughts, a thousand words to say all ran through her brain and collided with each other, leaving her silently shaking in her tracks and sucking in the cold air through her gaping lips. Jack stared back up at her and tried to smile again, but his mouth quivered and failed and his eyes dropped to the ground. He sighed and lifted himself to his feet, taking a step towards Ai as he did. "I'm glad to see you didn't flinch.. You still trust me, a? Since fourth grade, that's how long I've known you Ai. You still never got to the point of telling me everything, but I still remember those thank you letters you sent me.." His voice trailed off. He was stalling now and forgetting himself. This had to end quickly. "You know what this is? He said you would be expecting it.. I remember when you talked about it so long ago. "The wailing wall".. I never got a description, but I remember you saying you were just going to run head long through it. He's- he said someone would have to die. I didn't believe him at first, I've even been doubting it all night, but I know. I know what you were expecting, and I know what you came here for.. Someone has to die, Ai.. Run. Close your eyes and run. Don't open them until you run out of breath, but never look back." Ai was already gone. Her eyes were clenched shut and her thoughts were raging at her in such a way that confused her and blocked any thought. She didn't know why she was running, she simply had to run.
Jack remained in his place as Ai brushed by him. He watched the people who approached, other followers who viewed him with suspicion and hate. How could he blame them? They believed it in their very souls that he was the enemy and their path to heaven meant confronting him. Someone had to die though, no one got into heaven without someone dying. It was one quick motion, it had to be; there wasn't room for second thoughts. Jack drew his sidearm from its holster, raised it in a snap to his scalp, and applied pressure.
The sound made her stumble and collapse, the condensation already building on the cool earth wetting her face. She forced her eyes open and saw more soldiers scattered before her. Some of them were crying silently, most of them were looking past her. She wasn't thinking when she craned her head over her shoulder, but it snapped back forwards almost immediately. It was too late though, the image was burned into her head now. Two of her fellow believers rushed past her, sprinting towards the soldiers. Their movements were unreal, mechanical; as a screaming woman approached one, he knelt down with his chin over the barrel of his rifle and stretched to press his thumb down in the trigger guard. Ai closed her eyes and started running again. The sound was no less surprising as the last one, causing her to jump and run faster. There was two seconds of silence before another crack and then another. Soon though, another noise prevailed overcoming the echoing cracks as they increased in frequency. It started with a single sob, but soon grew into an entire chorus of crying, of pleading screams, of wailing desperation. Ai could have run forever with her eyes closed. There was nothing, no oxygen, no pain, no thought. Just the image of Jack's hurt grin, turned sideways in the dirt and the sound of Kenny's voice that day, 'When I told you I wanted to be with you forever, I guess that didn't include the after life.'
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:32 pm
BockiBear @Voodoo: Don't forget to say if it is a poetry entry or a novel entry and what entry it is. Some of us may be confused. >.<
>.> I'm a tad nervous.
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:42 pm
Poetry: AdrenalineThe rush of crisp air,
Knocking the breath out of my lungs
Electric shocks of adrenaline vibrating through my body
Suddenly every sense so clear,
Even to eyes that have never seen,
But felt the adrenaline
Turning my fear into elation,
With a simple thrust into space
Like a bird,
Free,
Adrenaline echoing throughout my very core
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:29 pm
P O E T R Y # 1
Yellow Coat
I hear the rolling thunder,
Still far off in the east.
But, 'tis a gentle warning,
To pack up my little feast.
And as the rain begins to fall,
Upon the window pane.
I find that I have left my coat,
Now sitting in the rain.
And when the clouds are parted,
And the rain has gone to rest.
I gather up my yellow coat,
A dripping, muddy mess.
My shirt is wet and grimy.
Mud caked upon my jeans.
But, my beloved yellow coat,
Is safe inside, with me.
l e m 0 n - s q u a r e__ //
[[I would judge this contest if I didn't want to enter! XD]]
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Posted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:41 pm
I have a 'short story' but it is in script format and about 4 pages typed (which is 4 minutes on screen) on word (lots of paragraph breaks etc). Would that be considered okay since it is in an odd format? I really only write for screen...
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