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My name is Ting. I'm a mother as a result of rape from my ex boyfriend last year. Tusita is 8 months old now. I'm only 16. I love Tusita to death, but I'm having difficulty balancing Tusita and school. My mother watches her during the day, while I'm at school. Every Wednesday I get off for half a day, and every Monday I go in a few hours late. Permission of the school is required for this. I watch her on weekends too.
I know what your thinking: why didn't you get an abortion? Well, I really DO NOT believe in abortion. Whether this baby was wanted or not, she's MINE. My blood.
I just need to know whether I should drop out or not. I've always dreamed of becoming a teacher, and I need good grades to get to college. But I can't think of college or school at a time like this. My baby is more important than high school. I'm a junior, and I'm thinking of dropping out, to stay home and take care of Tusita. Either that or I'll drop out of this high school and go into a high school for drop outs that are coming back. I've heard some offer daycare for teen mothers. Should I drop out?



This is Tusita now. (Taken at Sears)


the day Tusita was born

I would suggest not dropping out at all if possible.

I know it's hard to balance both, but many have done it and are glad they did. Dropping out may make it easier to be with the baby, but it will make things harder on both of you in the long run. And you've only got a year left, so please try to just stick it out and you'll be done.

It really is all up to you on whether you want to drop out or not and while I might have been a little stressed during finals I'm sure it's going to be three times worst for you than it would be me. I don't know if I would be able to handle that. I'd probably think of it more as an obligation that I have to do rather than a "eh, maybe." Could you do it? I think you could do it. You sound pretty calm about it and usually that means that you're able to at least handle it even though you're frustrated. If you don't have your mom's help or support than it might be best for you to drop out. However, you do have her help and I think she should realize that if she doesn't help you might not get the "proper" education. Honestly, you've made it this long, why not just stick it out 2 years? Then, you have the other side of "OMG, two years left..." They say that Junior/Senior is the easiest so you might want to take that into account. If anything, get the diploma?

I can't really tell you much about the stress, since I don't personally know, but I'm sure it's a lot. I hear that it's a lot easier to take care of the baby when it's that old compared to one week old. Daycare might be something to consider however you have to pay for daycare and usually it's a lot of money (for a teenager) so if your mom wants to help you out, go for it. I wouldn't really recommend getting a job on the stress you have, but you can always consider it.

If it were me, I would ask myself: "Do you think you can realistically do this?" And if I even got close to saying yes I would go for it. Sure, it's going to be hard, but when it's over with you have something to be proud of. Weigh the issues and see what's more important to you.

Maybe think about taking independent studies?

My opinion.

It might be very difficult, but I would do the best you can not to drop out. I'm not sure of where you live or anything, but here in Minneapolis there are high schools where pregnant girls and young teen mothers can go to finish high school, and the school provides day care for the babies / toddlers as well. Personally, if your mother is already willing to watch your baby, then I think what you have going on right now is way better than the day care option. Personally, I'd rather have someone I know (especially my mom 3nodding ) watching my baby than some stranger I'd never met (or only met a few times).

Your baby is beautiful. While I'm pro-choice as far as abortion goes, I only agree with it in certain circumstances. I applaud you for standing up for what you believe and having this baby, even though I'm sure everything has been very difficult as of yet.

In any case... I agree with what else has been said, which is you should talk to a counselor at your high school for other options. Otherwise, hang in there, it sounds like you only have another 2 years to go. Maybe you could look into starting off your college at a community college, so you don't have to be in classes all day long and just get your general courses out of the way first? I really wish I could help you more, but I'm not too familiar with traditional colleges, as I'm going for art.

Good luck. heart

Your baby is so beautiful!

On to to the discussion; I would suggest NOT dropping out. It is hard to balance both school and your family, especially now, but think of how much your education could help you, your baby and your family in the future. By the time you graduate, Tusita will be about 3 years old and able to be in a daycare, so you can go to school, come home and take care of your precious child. I'm glad to hear that you chose to give her a chance in this world, it brings tears to my eyes. You're a strong young woman to have thought this through and made such a decision. It will be tough on you, Tusita and your mother if you stay in school yes, but getting an education will help you in the long run. Some people mentioned staying home a doing some kind of correspondence, that's a great option. Look into it, but just don't give up you education. I know you love your baby and want to look after her as best as you can, but dropping out may not be the answer.

I would try not to drop out as hard as possible...maybe homeschooling or online highschool classes. A high school diploma is really important, especially if you want to go on to college and get a decent job to raise your child (by the way, she is beautiful!). So do your best to finish high school somehow, especially since your mom is here to help you out.

My advice is just the same as in the other guild 3nodding



Ok so it's not fully my advice sweatdrop

I've read a lot in magazines once their kid goes to school they go back to concentrating on their education.

Sorry I can't be much more help though.