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Dominic_Deegan

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 11:04 am


I feel better posting it here than in LI becuase of all the trolls and crap like that. Besides, I trust your guys advice better!

Okay long story as short as I can make it!
How do all crappy stories start out? "Well, there's this guy . . .", lol. Yeah, there's a guy, two in fact. Now, my problem is not deciding who to be with and such. My heart already made that decision before my head did and now my head agrees. What's great is this guy really likes me back. That leaves . . . guy number 2 . . .

I hate to say it, but that's what he is. he is guy number 2. The guy I love and I had some history before guy number 2. We had a bad break up and 2 months of scilence. It was shortly after the scilence began that I met guy number 2. We hit it off, but I tried to stay at a distance becuase I didn't want it being a rebound situation. Well *heavy sigh*, as you might have guessed, it became such a thing . . . He lives VERY far away in Scotland and can't alway sbe online or even on his own cell phone do to certain issues. I started to loose feelings for him recently. I tried to tell him just now and he went on the defensive and all that . . .

I guess what I need advice with is how to go from here. I didn't want it to be a rebound type situation, I didn't have that in mind when I met him and got to gether with him. It just happened, and now I finally got my feelings and non-feelings sorted out and that exactly what it was . . . I tried to tell him becuase I can't go on pretending I love him when I don't. How should I handle this now?

Btw, I didn't tell him that I still love my ex and we are on the mend . . . I figured that would be fule for his fire and he would accuse me of going behind his back. I didn't do anything with my ex but talk as friends. One time, we did cyber, but I admitted it right away to guy number 2. It was one of those it "just happened" scenarios, but after it started, i could have stopped and I didn't. I do take full responsibility for that. before that time and after that, my ex and I have only been talkng as friends. he does respect that fact I was with guy number 2 and feels bad for doing what he did.

Yeah, I just need to quit for a while and not be with anyone, but what about the fact that my ex and I still love each other and are soon going to start over?

*comes through with a large broom to sweep up all the messiness of this situation*


EDIT:
I made one line in preticular bold becuase people seem to be skipping it. I DID tell him, or atleast I tried too, but he just logged off and left. I wrote him an e-mail to explain it. he responded to the e-mail in the same defensive manner. I wrote one back, but he hasn't responded to it yet. I saw him online once. I didn't talk to him at first to see if he would talk to me. When he didn't for about 30 mins, I tried to talk to him and he didn't. I haven't seen him on since . . .
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 12:34 pm


I think you just need to tell him that your feelings aren't what they once were. It's a break up really and sure it will hurt but he will get over it. Just put it out there.

Chalda

 
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Dominic_Deegan

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 8:22 pm


Chalda
I think you just need to tell him that your feelings aren't what they once were. It's a break up really and sure it will hurt but he will get over it. Just put it out there.


Thank you. I already told him, or tried too . . . He got really defensive like I was accusing him of things I wasn't and he just stopped talking to me. That's what promopted me to write this and see what I should do from here on. scream
PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:37 pm


I see... well some people just don't take it very well. There isn't really much you can do to change his attitude I don't think. He will just have to come to terms with it on his own.

Chalda

 
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[C]herry[B]lossom

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:35 am


If you don't want anything to do with guy number two then tell him exactly how it is. Not about you ex and you but how you don't have feelings for him in that way anymore. If you still want to be his friend then tell him that. It is then up to him what he does. It can't be easy for you if he goes all defensive and stops talking to you but he has to respect your decision.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 7:42 am


Yeah, I guess all I can really do is just hang back and see what happens. It really bugs me though! I'm not trying to force him to believe me or anything, but I would still like to know what's going on with him . . . Even though I may not love him anymore, I still do care about him a lot . . .

Dominic_Deegan

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Soleq
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:59 am


Guys are weird. If you want a direct answer, you need to ask a direct question. I'm sure that he'd give you something to go off of, but again, you don't need to push him. Ah, the misery called love.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 11:45 am


Soleq
Guys are weird. If you want a direct answer, you need to ask a direct question. I'm sure that he'd give you something to go off of, but again, you don't need to push him. Ah, the misery called love.

lol, no kidding.

I did directly ask him in the first e-mail I sent. I explained myself and what I wanted to say then asked what was going on and what he thought. I don't care if he only said something like "I don't know, let me think".

Anyways, I got to talk to him today. He apologized for his behavior and said he still loves me anyways. I think I'm going to wait a little bit though before asking what he thinks we should do, interms of being friends and such.

Dominic_Deegan

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Miss_Mad_Hatter87

 
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:07 pm


yeah i recently had a bad break up ( see the thread i created about confusion love...) he likes someone new now.. i'm still getting over him.. I dunno i guess i still have feelings for him.. i felt hurt when he said he likes someone new.. i think i may like someone.. but I'm trying to make sure it isn't a rebound.. honestly im kind of in the same boat as you, but in some ways not.. just i guess both of us have to give it time.. just to see what to do..

RELATIONSHIPS ARE CRAZY and exhausting 3nodding !
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 2:20 pm


Relationships are crazy and exhausting. However, once you find a person who cares enough about the relationship as you do, then it becomes much easier. The trick is trying to find that person.

Soleq
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Dominic_Deegan

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 5:34 pm


Soleq
Relationships are crazy and exhausting. However, once you find a person who cares enough about the relationship as you do, then it becomes much easier. The trick is trying to find that person.


Oh, god, tell me about it!
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