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 Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:27 pm
Share jokes and funny quotes here. This guild is mostly about gold and business, but we all need something lighthearted once in a while.
T-shirt: Procrastinators unite! Tomorrow!!"
Joke: There's 4 cows. A mother cow, and her 3 calfs.
Calf 1: Mommy, whi is my name Rose?
Mother cow: Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head.
Calf 2: Mommy, why is my name Daisy?
Mother Cow: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head.
Calf 3: BREARHSHGHGLEAHHHHHH!!!!
Mother cow: Shut up, Cinderblock.
share your jokes here! ^^
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Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:02 pm
Or at least if you laughed post an LOL....
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 1:52 am
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 7:16 pm
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:34 pm
An old man and his wife were on their 45th anniversary and then a fairy came and told them how proud she was of their long-going happy relationship, so she decided to give them 1 wish each. The wife was delighted, and wished, "I wish I could travel all over the world with my darling husband!" And just then tickets to a cruise ship appeared in her hand. Then it was the husband's turn. He said to his wife, "I'm sorry honey, I've had fun with you when we were young but it just doesn't work for me anymore. I wish I had a wife that was 40 years younger than me." The fairy and the wife were both incredibly disappointed, And poof, the man was 95 years old.
Moral of the story? Men who are lazy b*****ds should always remember that fairies are female.
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:27 pm
I told my brother both of these jokes, and we both laughed. xD These jokes are so funny.
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Marilyn with Diamonds Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:33 pm
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 12:54 pm
LAWLS
[This text will be red until I get my Chyaku. kthx.]
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:49 pm
Aw! My eighth grade science teacher told me that cow joke. I miss him. xD He was hilarious as hell, every science class we would always get off-topic somehow and start telling jokes.
LOL. That was a great class. :]
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:44 pm
There was once a man who moved from China to the United States, looking for a better job. He really needed money. Hey searched and searched, but could only find a job as a music teacher. Since he couldn't speak English, he got by with only saying, "Me me me me me!"
That's why he was fired! The next job he found was at a restaurant. That didn't go so well either. The only words he learned there were, "Forks and knives, forks and knives." So again, he was fired.
His final job was at a candy store. Who else would hire him, anyway? What do you know? He was fired once more. The reason behind that was because the only words he learned THERE were, "Goody goody gumdrops, goody goody gumdrops!" This wouldn't help him later in life.
So after he realized he was hopeless, he decided to get on a train to the nearest airport to China. Everything was going fine until... Someone was KILLED. The police then entered the train. They asked, "Does anyone want to confess to the death of this man?" The Chinese man said, "Me me me me me!"
"What did you kill him with?" Asked the cop. "Forks and knives, forks and knives!"
"YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!"
"Goody goody gumdrops! Goody good gumdrops!"
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Marilyn with Diamonds Captain
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Marilyn with Diamonds Captain
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 2:51 pm
Three friends decided to go to a hotel late one night. It was a big one, and it was dark. When they arrived, the guard said, "Whatever you do, DON'T go down to the basement." The three friends said they wouldn't.
The first night they were there, the first friend really wanted to go downstairs. Sooo... He did. He walked down the eery steps, VERY AFRAID, and didn't know what to do. Then, he realized how dark it was. He heard a voice. "Guess what I can do with my rubyyy red lips and my longgg fingernails!" He ran as fast as he could back to the hotel room.
The second night, the second friend wanted to join in the fun. He really wanted to go downstairs, too, so... He did. He walked down each step very carefully, until... One broke! Then a voice shouted, "Arghhh! Guess what I can do with my rubyyy red lips and my longgg fingernails!" The friend ran as fast as he could back to the hotel room. He thought the voice would eat him!
The last night they stayed there, the bravest of them all walked down to the basement, as the two others had down the previous nights. They were too chicken to confront the voice, but he wasn't. "Guess what I can do with my rubyyy red lips and my longgg fingernails!"
"What are you going to do? Eat me?" Said the last friend, prepared for the worst. The voice then came out of the dark, and rubbed his finger against his lips. He only wanted to make a raspberry!
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Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:36 am
Me and my freind were fighting at a bus stop and some guy came over and said "That's what I like to see white and black fighting for power"
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Posted: Sat Mar 29, 2008 6:08 pm
2 men walk into a bar...the third one ducks.
Yeah, bad, I know, but it's still a joke!
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Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:11 pm
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:21 pm
sorry if i offend any of you who are blonde, but blonde jokes are funny as hell!!
Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"
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Reply
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