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Personally, I think waiting for marriage is silly. Marriage is nothing but a legal document. A piece of paper does not prove that two people love each other or are ready for sexual activity. And I will be darned if I let a piece of paper try to tell me how to live my life. I am sexually active, and I do not plan on getting married. I see marriage as extremely outdated, sexist, and unnecessary.

Sex isn't necessary in all relationships. Married or not, some people rush into it, others wait. If you want to wait longer, go for it.

i personally believe that when you find the person you want to have sex with then you will know that he/she is the right person but that doesn't always mean that you will get married. my boyfriend and i have been going out for 9 months and we are slowly getting mor physicical we decided to wait to have sex till we are in collage (or 2 years) we know that we are both the persons we want to give that gift to and we are going to wait for the right moment.

so i would say as long as you know that you have the trust in the person you want to give that gift (your virginity) to than i think you are ok. just always practice safe sex and make sure it's right for you.

That's true, marriage is a commitment. However, I feel I can make a commitment to someone without having it in writing. If someone did not feel they could commit to me without having it in writing, I would see that as a serious problem. Relationships take work, whether you own a piece of paper or not.


Not necessarily. Many people marry for money, health insurance, the ability to stay in this country, etc. My friend married a friend of hers from South America so that he could stay here. If both people are mature, divorce doesn't have to be a big deal. It can be pretty easy and clean cut.

I totally agree with you on marriage being sexist! I was so happy when i saw what you wrote i almost cried; i'm so glad someone else feels the same way =D

but my opinion: I think that, yes, it is a personal choice and you shouldn't have to feel pressured by anyone at all. If someone is feeling pressured to have sex, then they're probably not ready. I also think that if people make abstinence the only option and don't look at having pre-marital sex as a possibility, then they'll probably be the person to get pregnant/get someone pregnant because they didn't care to learn about safe sex. So my point: if you want to be abstinent that is a big responsibility and a good goal to set for yourself, but what you should do is also look on the other side of safe sex and how to protect yourself from pregnancy and diseases.

I find marriage sexist because:

1. Women usually take their husband's name. You're right that they don't have to, but most do anyway for some reason.

2. Most women wear a big dress, even if they wear pants every other day of their life. If that wasn't bad enough, it's usually a white dress to symbolize virginity. Now, most women are not virgins when they get married, but for some reason, most of them still stick with the "the bride is a virgin, the groom is not" stereotype.

3. The whole purpose of marriage is sexist. If you look at the history and legality of marriage, you can see that it was never about love. It was about making a woman a man's property. You're right that marriage has changed a bit. Most couples do marry for love now. However, we can't ignore how sexist and offensive the history and original purpose of marriage is.

4. You're right; many girls do dream of having a big sexist wedding where they get to put on a puffy white dress, pretend to be a virgin, get their hair done, get their makeup done, etc. It's like society hardwires it into little girl's heads that they should look forward to this blatant display of sexism, and that's pretty sick in my opinion.

Now, of course, there are ways to get married without being sexist. People can marry for love, they can both wear pants, neither can wear white, the wife can decline taking her husband's name, etc. Sadly, all of that is rarely done. If you want to get married without the sexism, however, hey, more power to you. There is even a chance that I will marry someday for health insurance or a tax break, and I assure you there will be no sexism in my marriage either. xp

You may or may not agree with me. I am not trying to debate here. I gave my opinion, you asked me to elaborate, and there it is. I know a lot of people agree with me, and even more disagree with me. That's fine.
3nodding These are just my thoughts and feelings on most American marriages.

When I have to fill out forms, I check "Ms." I hate how women have "Miss" and "Mrs." while men just have "Mr." I don't understand that. It's like it's implying that our relationship status matters and somehow defines who we are, but it doesn't matter for men.

In high school I had a teacher who insisted on being called "Ms." If you called her "Miss" or "Mrs." she seriously freaked out.