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The Ten Commandments of the Orks

1) Thou shall scream Waaagh!!! before battle, during battle, after battle, and at random times through out the day.
2) Thou shall own a red vehicle and it shalt go faster.
3) Thou shall remain constantly optimistic lest ye succumb to the horror of reality.
4) Thou shall observe commandment three if thou art seasoned enough to have used the former codex.
5) If thou knoweth one who cannot observe commandment four thou shalt mock him/her (most likely him) by pointing, laughing, and shouting derogatory phrases such as gretchin and/or human.
6) Thou shall complain that thou can no longer defeat a terminator squad single handedly without Waaagh!!!ish luck due to the weakening of thou choppa.
7) Thou shall not fear the Tau for shotting you, rather thou shalt steal their guns and smash their heads.
cool Thou shall remember that thou are never betten in battle.
9) Thou shall not substitute Tyranid teeth for ork teeth unless the Bad Moon is stupid enough to fall for it.
10) Thou shall not question how an Ork counted to ten or wrote all the commandments without using any Orkish.

lolz
o.O Jon

You know why most Space Marine chapters suck? Because they're not ANGRY MARINES! ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!

You know why Orks are green? If they were red, they'd die even faster!

You know why Tau have such big guns? ...
No, I'm really not going there...

You know why Tyranids always come in groups of two bazillion? Because Orks come in any number less than that!

You know why Berzerkers are spelled with a "z"? Because THEY GOT THEIR S HANDED TO THEM BY THE ANGRY MARINES! ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!

You know why Slaanesh is the weakest of all the chaos powers? Yeah well, that's not very hard, he's a p***y, sycophant, baby-faced little wood elf, and anyway, what kind of chaos power do you expect to be made from Eldar?

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bolter shells.

No, I'm not feeling violent, I'm feeling creative with weapons.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate every race equally.

Never hit a nob with glasses. Hit it with a powerfist.

It's called a MISSile for a reason.

A single death is a tragedy. A billion deaths is called an exterminatus.

A smart marine covers his a**. A wise marine leaves his powersuited pants on.

Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.

Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked a Lictor.

Bald marines never have a bad hair day. Bald orks have nowhere to put the squigs.

If a Battle Sister is wearing lipstick, it's a bad idea to ask to taste it.

Carpenter’s Assault Marine's rule: cut to fit; beat into place.

Character is what you are. Reputation is what makes the IG do what you tell them to.

Drive defensively - drive a Land Raider.

Thunderhawks may soar, but Land Raiders don't have to fear anti-aircraft fire.

Failure is not falling down - it's failing to continue shooting from a prone position.

For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat and involves a Space Marine with a big gun.

Targets are deceptive. Unaimed shots always hit something.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity scores you bonus points with the Chaos Powers.

If at first you succeed, the Space Marines will take all the credit.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be an Ork.

If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie. Also, play Chaos.

If you set out to fail, and you succeed, you're in the IG.

If the Emperor is within all of us, I sincerely hope he LIKES A FIERY, PAINFUL DEMISE!

If things are getting worse, consider asking the IG to stop helping you.

If you are not committing any sins, you must be a Chaplain.

If you can see the enemy, you're not blind, and that's a good start.

If they're all pointing their guns at you, you're probably on the other team.

Being in the IG means doing the same thing wrong over and over again, and expecting a different outcome each time.

Make it idiot proof and they will send a better nob.

The Emperor invented language so the commissars could complain.

Save water - take a bath with a canoness!

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. Tactics is the art of correcting any mistakes you made in the process.

Even if the Techmarine inspected every vehicle beforehand, it will still be the first time he's seen this s**t.

The shortest distance between two points is currently occupied by the Eldar.

They are out to get you. They're 'Nids, after all!

In Tau Empire you shoot guns.
In Imperium of Man guns shoot you.
lol lol lol

The IG spots it.
The Mechanicus shoots it.
The Marines prod it.
The Inquisition bombs it, because even if it doesn't move, it's never dead enough.