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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:32 am
-xBurnxThexCityx-
You're amazing! ;D
Hey hey, can I ask you to help me fix the problems now so it can get accepted in two weeks? Sure. Um, to avoid spamming our inboxes (mine is so full already. .__. ) would you mind if I created a character brainstorm thread in the chatterbox forum and we can just discuss it there?
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:35 am
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 10:39 am
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:31 pm
 Character Information:
Student Name: Zachery Kainfire
Species: Lycanthrope
Age: Ageless
Gender: Male
Appearance description: Dark grey eyes, set behind a small frame of glasses would look out over the areas. Little did anyone know that he was blind in his right eye. His snow white hair sometimes falling into his eyes, covering them. He had a sleek build, very small and athletic.
Personality: Quiet, hardworking, and calm. He'd never raise a hand to anyone, he was raised better. Being Ageless he's never stressing out, or quick to fall apart.
Bio: Being a Lycan caused troubles, leaving Zack to be left with rude comments. He didn't go to school, but he kept himself busy by running through the woods, and mountain climbing. He was finally enrolled into the academy, now he works hard and studies a lot.
Skills and Abilities: Transforms into a wolf type form. His strength only boosted by a tad bit.
Character Flaws: -Transforms when weak
-Slightly Weaker in his Human Form
-Blind in one Eye
Sexual Orientation: Bi
Status: Single
Likes:
- Kind People
- Music
- Reading
- Studying
Dislikes:
- Rude People
- His Lycan blood
- Fighting
Extra Information: Can't think of anything right now. I could possibly change it in the future.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:43 pm
 Character Information:he is willing to die for his freinds or family to live he trys on occasions to tame his ultimate form but ends up passing out for hours if none's around
Student Name:nibi akshazmki
Species:angel&human hybrid
Age:16 (looks10)
Gender:male
Appearance description: (optional) This is just in case you have a picture but you want to verify some differences like "The picture has red eyes, but my character has blue." Or if you just want to add extra detail, you can do that too.
Personality:he's happy mostly and shy hates when people mistake his age and dislikes being treated like a child due to his size
Bio:a kid from a wealthy family who demanded he get a good education therfore sending him here for education and in hopes off someone able to help him with his ultimate form.
Skills and abilitys:he's a good tactical player with long range and close combat and his small size gives him a advtandge
Struggles to do things because of his small body.
Is bad with girls he tends to have deep depression at times causing him to lack self confidence. he has a hard time cooperating with people since mostly everyone he has met has mistakned him younger then his actual age.
Sexual Orientation:straight
Status:single
Likes: (at least 3)
-freinds
-his pet
-girls
Dislikes: (at least 3)
-darkness
-his mom
-his past life.
Extra Information:his parents worry about him due to the fact he has a growing malfunction causing him forever be younger then his age lower the goals and abilitys he want's to do.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:51 pm
Hello! Before I can approve your character, you will need to give him three real flaws. Transforming when he's weak and a lack of physical strength are maybe inconvenient, but not flaws. Mild handicaps like partial blindness are also not really flaws. Feel free to check out the Character Flaws thread if you need help. There's a huge list of flaws to inspire you.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:55 pm
Hello! Please remember that Rosentale academy is a highschool. Characters should at least be in their early teens. While prodigies do exist, they should be used sparingly and Rosentale already has several. You will need to clarify what this "ultimate form" is because we do not allow overly powered characters and this sounds a little suspicious. LoL Finally, going into a coma after using a form he "probably" will never use is not really a flaw. Also, you mention this flaw twice anyway. Clumsiness is also not a flaw we accept due to the fact that most people tend to neglect to have their clumsy characters actually be clumsy. Please choose three real flaws. Feel free to use the Character Flaws thread for help. There's a lot of information on how to choose flaws, as well as a long list to inspire you!
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:00 pm
StrawberryZ0mbie Hey. Unfortunately, you character has an enormous skill set. She has nearly twenty unique abilities. That is honestly just way too many. As I said, we do not allow characters to be able to control (even partially) all elements at the same time. Please pare down her skills to something a little more reasonable. Even when grouped together, she still -is partially telepathic -can shape shift -has enhanced senses -can heal -can manipulate material elements -can create illusions -can manipulate shadow -has a photographic memory -is a talented artist -can cook well. Barring the last three, she still has seven fairly strong skills. I think you need to narrow it down to four or less. (she can keep the last three but you need to take away some of her magic skills. She is just way too strong.) Even with the balance of using shadows making her weaker...honestly, we have half a dozen characters who faint every time they use their powers--it doesn't stop them from using their powers all the time. So I'm not going to count that as a good enough balance to off set the fact that she has just about every power available. Please let me know when you've made changes. Thanks! Ok I can do that. Sooooorry sweatdrop done. smile
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:44 pm
You still need to add two flaws. The only real flaw he has is the durability of a ten year old. Poor writing is not a real flaw--this is never going to come up in the RP in a truly detrimental way, I'm sorry. Please review the thread I linked to you in my previous post and give him a few actual flaws. Thank you!! Also, you can just quote me here when it's fixed rather than PMing. ^^
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:02 pm
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:10 pm
Alrighty. I discussed this with the rest of the crew and we agree that she is still unbalanced. I'm pretty sure that while you did remove abilities, you added in more skills because I don't recall her previously being talented in music and sewing in addition to the others. I realize it's fun to play a really powerful, talented character but your character really just can't be skilled in everything. She can heal. Shapeshift partially, has enhanced senses, can still do some manipulation of shadows. And on top of that, she's a great artist, seamstress, musician and cook. She also has a photographic memory and knowledge of poisons, as well as being trained in a special form of hand to hand combat. I hope that by reading it you can understand that is just way too much. You really need to remove some of her non-magic skills. And it was suggested by the rest of the crew that you remove one of her magic skills as well. Honestly, given the nature of Rosentale, there's not a lot of need for such a powerful character. The only times any characters have showed off extreme powers was for a few random scenes where they power surged, then went back to normal. There is not a single other character that is this powerful and this talented all the time. Please consider how to balance her out and make her more realistic. She has only the bare minimum of flaws, so you really need to remove some of her talents and powers.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:15 pm
um sorry to qoute twice but um did i make the required changes
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:53 pm
StrawberryZ0mbie Character Information:
Student Name: Zachery Kainfire
Species: Lycanthrope
Age: Ageless
Gender: Male
Appearance description: Dark grey eyes, set behind a small frame of glasses would look out over the areas. Little did anyone know that he was blind in his right eye. His snow white hair sometimes falling into his eyes, covering them. He had a sleek build, very small and athletic.
Personality: Quiet, hardworking, and calm. He'd never raise a hand to anyone, he was raised better. Being Ageless he's never stressing out, or quick to fall apart.
Bio: Being a Lycan caused troubles, leaving Zack to be left with rude comments. He didn't go to school, but he kept himself busy by running through the woods, and mountain climbing. He was finally enrolled into the academy, now he works hard and studies a lot.
Skills and Abilities: Transforms into a wolf type form. His strength only boosted by a tad bit.
Character Flaws: - Disability
- Cursed
- Non Violent
Sexual Orientation: Bi
Status: Single
Likes:
- Kind People
- Music
- Reading
- Studying
Dislikes:
- Rude People
- His Lycan blood
- Fighting
Extra Information: Can't think of anything right now. I could possibly change it in the future.
Better?
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:55 pm
Doctor Rem um sorry to qoute twice but um did i make the required changes I apologize for the delay but I am doing about three hundred things at once in addition to trying to post for the people waiting on me here. Our requirement is for three flaws. Your character's flaws are as follows: 1. Struggles to do things because of his small body. 2. Is bad with girls 3. Struggles to do things because of his small body. 4. Struggles because he is mistaken for a child. Basically you have one flaw three times and being bad with girls. These are not really actual flaws. I hate to be nitpicky but this is one of few areas we do ask people to actually put some focus and thought into. I did link you to the Character Flaws thread. Please read it and choose two more real flaws in addition to struggling because he is in the body of a ten year old. Thanks. Also, please do not take it upon yourself to go ahead and post in the RP before your character is approved. There are other things you need to do besides just be approved--like be assigned a dorm, choose a schedule and post a profile thread, none of which you have done. Please be patient and understand the crew have more to do than just approve profiles. Thank you.
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Elen_Gilthoniel Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:59 pm
Being disabled is not a flaw. Nor is being cursed. And being non-violent is usually a good thing. Please look at the Character Flaws thread I linked you to previously and choose some real flaws. This is one of the only areas where we are very picky about ensuring people actual do it properly. =3 Once you've chosen some actual flaws, please quote me again. Thanks for your patience!
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