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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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 Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:01 pm
The purple convertible came screetching to a halt right outside the Chinatown King. Not waiting for the car to turn off, Joker jumped out over the door.
Harley turned off the car and jumped out over the passenger side, over the passenger door, and tacle-hugged Joker. "Hey, puddin', I was thinki--"
Without any warning, Joker backhanded Harley off of him. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU: NOT IN FRONT OF THE GUESTS!"
Harley, who looked a little hurt at this, said a quiet "Sorry, Mistah J," and walked to the door of the restaurant. She stopped just outside the door, waiting for Joker and the guest. "Mistah J, who IS our guest?"
"Harley, allow me to introduce Deadpool. He's a mercenary. Deadpool," he said, turning toward him, "This is my henchgirl, and my #1 woman, Harley Quinn."
"Pleased to meetcha," Harley said to Deadpool with a bow.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:19 pm
((Enter from Metropolis))
Deadpool, never one to do what people expected, calmly opened the door of the vehicle and stepped out. His eyebrows went up a little at the rough treatment of the girl, but it wasn't as though he hadn't beaten the crap out of one of his own love interests.... Or two... or five... If only girls weren't so damn annoying! With some difficulty, he brought himself back to the present, and favored Harley with cheery half wave. "Deeelighted." He looked around; this city was the one in which he'd first encountered that gorgeous blonde girl. How ironic; his much desired lunch had only been a few blocks away that whole time! Walking over to the door of the restaurant, he opened it with a flourish. "Ladies first..." Before Harley could move, he tacked on, "Joker." Well, he was wearing purple. And makeup. Or... was that makeup? Deadpool honestly could not think of something worse than being stuck in clown makeup for the rest of your life. Well... kidnapped by old ladies and forced to eat old toffee was pretty close, but that was besides the point.
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 5:57 pm
Harley sniggered at Deadpool's comment, but was silenced quickly by a single glare from the Joker.
Turning to Deadpool, he said, "Just remember, Poolboy, I'm not the one who hides their whole head behind a hood." He waved Harley in, then followed after her. He didn't like not getting the punchlines. He walked in and asked for a table for three. This being Gotham City, everyone knew who Joker was, and everyone except a couple cooks and a single waiter ran like frightened deer out the door. That considerably brightened his day back up. he simply chose a table and sat down.
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:23 pm
Deadpool watched everyone clear out and whistled, honestly impressed. "Goodness," he exclaimed, sitting down in a chair and beginning to tuck a napkin into the front of his costume, "That's quite a reputation you have! What do you do, blow up orphanages?" Actually, Deadpool had a funny story that involved an orphanage, but he wanted to hear the answer to his question more than he wanted to tell it. "I wouldn't worry too much," he said confidentially to the single, terrified waiter, "He hasn't killed anyone lately... Well, he hasn't killed anyone today... Well, he hasn't killed anyone during the twenty minutes I've spent in his company." The waiter had turned dead white, and was shaking uncontrollably. Seemingly unaware of the effects of his detrimental efforts at giving comfort, Deadpool added cheerily, "I'll have a Dr. Pepper."
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 6:55 pm
Looking at the waiter, Joker laughed hysterically and said, "Don't worry, I won't kill you..." Suddenly his demeanor turned deadly serious, and he continued with, "Unless I don't get superb service for myself, my lady, and my friend. Is that understood?" The waiter nodded, looking as though as he was about to soil himself, then without waiting for further instruction, quickly pulled out his checkpad and wrote in the Dr. Pepper. He then asked for Joker's and Harley's drink orders. "Smart lad, you catch on quick. You just might survive this night, after all. I'll have a Mountain Dew Code Red. And you, Harley?"
"I'll have whatever you're getting, Mistah J!" Harley said, smiling cheerfully. She didn't normally get the chance to go out to eat with Mistah J, with or without guests, so she was terribly excitedat the whole development. She hoped that he met people he liked more often, if this was the kind of thing that happened.
Writing in two Code Reds, the waiter ran back to the drink station. Joker and Harley both sat at the same table as Deadpool, across from him, next to each other. "To answer your question, Deadpool, while I HAVE blown up an orphanage, I'm most known for over the course of my criminal career having killed over 2,000 people, according to police records, maybe more. I don't keep track. I've also commited several counts of attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, arson, assault and battery with and without a deadly weapon, destruction of government property, war crimes, crimes against humanity, abduction, obstruction of justice, resisting arrest, grand theft auto, theft, drug abuse, and being a general thorn in Batsy's side for as long as anyone cares to remember!"
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Posted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 7:08 pm
Deadpool sad back in his chair, and mentally added checks to Joker's list wherever he had committed the same crime. When the clown wrapped it up, he raised an eyebrow. "You actually have a few more than I do," he said amiably, and then paused, "At least I think you might." He thought for a few more seconds, and then shrugged. "I'll have to break out my resume again. So who is this 'Batsy' guy, anyway?"
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:15 am
Harley was the first one to react to this preposterous remark. "YOU DON'T KNOW BATS?! MISTAH J, HE DOESN'T KNOW BATS! HOW DOES ANYONE NOT KNOW BATS?!"
Joker, who was more than a little surprised at this, also believed he realised the problem. "You're not from around here, are you? By here, I mean this dimension. It wouldn't be the first time I'd seen it, not by any means. It would explain why you didn't know who I was, either. Everyone that belongs to the masked-man community from this dimension knows who I am." He got serious as he said this. He still liked the guy, but he needed to know the answer to this; without it, he'd never be able to figure him out. As he was wrapping up, the waiter came back with the drinks, and menus for their meal orders, and excused himself for a minute so that they'd have a little time to decide, and to call on him if they needed anything at all, and to not worry about the bill as the manager has decided that their meal would be on the house in exchange for their continued existence on this earth, Mister Joker, sir. "Ah, thank you, my good man, you certainly know how to keep me happy. We'll call you when we're ready." With a quick bow, the waiter turned and jogged into the back, but stayed by the serving window; he didn't want to miss anyone calling for him.
(( Like he ever COULD figure Deadpool out, anyways, but I guess it's worth a shot. xd ))
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:25 am
Deadpool pulled his mask out from his face enough that he could slip a straw up to reach his mouth, and then took a sip of Dr. Pepper. "Nice service," he said happily. It was lucky that they had decided to make the meal on the house; Deadpool only had ten bucks to his name, at the moment. Then Joker's words caught up to him, and he blinked. "Another dimension?" he asked blankly, setting his cup back on the table. He thought for a long second. "I guess that would make sense, but I really don't know. I don't pay attention to the little explanation boxes at the beginning. They make my head hurt."
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:41 am
Harley didn't understand what the heck Deadpool meant by 'explanation boxes'. Whatever they were, she could probably use one right now, judging by the name.
Joker saw her confusion written on her face and said, "Don't worry about it, kiddo, this is guy talk." He turned to Deadpool and said, "To explain, two universes are merging... Yeesh, how many times are they going to use this one? I mean, come on! All the companies go out of their way to clean up all that multiverse garbage, just to do it again with each other! What kind of sense does that make? ...Anyways, two unverses are merging together. You wouldn't know anyone from mine, just as I wouldn't know anyone from yours... Well, I MIGHT know a couple from yours. Like I said, this isn't my first universe collision."
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:53 am
Deadpool shrugged and took another sip from his drink. "I think that's happened to us as well... But like I said, I don't really pay attention." Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he snapped his fingers and pointed at the Joker. "Ohhhhh! You're Heath Ledger! Why didn't you just say that? I would have gotten it if you'd said that!" He took another thoughtful sip of his soda, and then picked up his menu. "I think I'm supposed to have a movie out at some point." He rolled his eyes. "They don't stop to consider what will happen when I can't have my little yellow boxes. Ooooh, noooo. They just think, 'Wow! That Tony Stark guy really made us a lot of money! We want more money! Lets try to get everyone on the big screen, whether they'd translate well or not!'"
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:28 am
"You'll manage. They can always put emphasis on the fact that you can ramble on, and the fact that you'd be the only one who knew that you'd all be in a movie. Heck, you could say that very line, and it would make sense for you! But, no, I'm not Heath Ledger. He played a very different version of me. Not enough gags. One smoke grenade, and a pencil trick? That's nothing! He was a sadistic mind, don't get me wrong, but he simply didn't capture the whole picture of the Joker. Plus, he didn't looks anything LIKE me!" Joker was beginning to get a little frustrated; he didn't like even having the notion on being in some Joker cosplayer's shadow. "'Hello, I'm Heath Ledger, and I want to play the Joker. What, my face is way too round, and I don't have anywhere near a smile like his? I don't care, I still want to play him! GIMME!' And what the hell was with those scars?! I don't have a single mark on my face! The gall they had!"
Harley looked at the menu this whole time, and finally made a loud whistle, calling the waiter back over. The waiter came running over and asked them what they wanted to order. "I'll get the Sesame Chicken. Say, did ya guys ever decide?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 11:37 am
Deadpool shrugged. "I didn't actually see it, obviously, but what I heard cracked me up." He grinned. "That one pencil trick was pretty good, you have to admit. Um..." He glanced down at his menu. "Sweet and sour pork, with a side of... uh... No side, I guess. No, with a side of french fries. You can get french fries, right?" The waiter nodded quickly. "Coolio. Double side then."
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:18 pm
"Yes, the pencil trick was neat, but I was hoping for more... Um... General Tso's Chicken for myself, Crab Rangoon on the side," Joker said. With another quick bow, the waiter ran to the back again and could be heard shouting the orders to the remaining cooks, who immediately began cooking like their lives depended on it. And they DID. "Anyways, I'd pay to watch a movie of yours, it'd probably be right up my alley."
Harley jumped in and said, "Mistah J, I wanna be in a movie with you! How 'bout it?"
"Harley, you've gotten extremely popular without ever being in a movie. Hundreds of women want to be like you and pretend to BE you every day."
Harley squealed at that news. "Ya mean, I'm popular with my Mistah J?! Oh, Puddin'!" She clenched her hand together all fan-girl-like and looked off into space, starstruck at herself and her beloved 'Mistah J'.
"Anyways," Joker continued, Harley now distracted again, "Isn't there something else you asked? ...Oh, yes, you asked about Batsy. Well, he's actually called Batman. You might have heard of him, he seems to get caught up in these dimension-mergings more often than I do. Anyways, I have this obssession with him. And murder. I love murder. More than anything else, I love murder. I love the look in people's eyes when they know that their end is near, looking only at me. It's like sex, and I'm its master. It's BETTER than sex, because I'm ALWAYS in the MOOD. It's in those moments that I am what I was meant to be: THE COSMIC JOKE! THE ONE THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!! But, you see, to be the Joker, I must beat the Batman. And THAT'S where it becomes REALLY fun. I am a force of NATURE! A FORCE OF THE MIND! And I must have my counterforce to make me whole; make me work!"
"But Puddin', if you need him so much, it doesn't make sense for you to try to kill him..."
"Of COURSE I try to kill him! BECAUSE he's my perfect foe! If I ever killed him, he'd be my IM-perfect foe! And then... WHO'D GIVA A DAMN! It's only through my failure that I know I'm sooooooo... PERFECT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:29 pm
Deadpool raised his eyebrows. There didn't seem to be anything to say to that. "Okie dokie, then." He paused thinking back. He couldn't remember any Batman... but that didn't prove much of anything. "So, what's he like? I assume he's sort of your opposite, right?" That was usually how these kinds of things worked. Spidey and Goblin, Xavier and Magneto, Tony and the Mandarin. Two sides of the same coin. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes with some difficulty. Marvel writers in general really needed to invest in some originality... with the possible exception of his own staff, of course.
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Comic_Book_Joker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:58 pm
"Exactly. It's been that way for years and years, now. We've followed each other throughout the ages, through comics, cartoons, movies, and video games. He can't kill me, because that would make him just as bad as me, and I can't kill him, because fate won't let me kill the straightman for my funnyman act. Try as I might, he's the only one to consistently get away from me. I've even killed his second Robin, Jason Todd." Joker's eyes grew a little misty in rememberance of that joyous occasion. "THAT was a good night. Not only did I rid myself of one cosumed vigilante, I ensured that Batsy would come closer to giving me the ultimate victory! Even if he does kill me, I WIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Yeah, that's my Mistah J. A real bad man to mess with," Harley said, knowing better than to try to upstage Joker. She rested her head on his shoulder.
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