The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Axioma]

Chicken_Waltz_820

You all make me laugh.

Oh, I thought up another one. NEVER HAVE NERDS IN YOUR STORY! Seriously, they just screw things up. Or if you must have them in your story, make sure some beautiful ditz turns them into a beautiful ditz because everyone knows it's better to be pretty then smart.

Nerds MAY be allowed in the story as supporting characters, whose primary function is to make the hero look cooler by contrast and whose secondary function it is to Hack Into The Network Mainframe and give the hero information he needs so that he can do stuff that makes him cooler than the Nerd.

[Tenth Speed Writer]

[Onambarwen]

addseale2

Completely off topic, but I actually know a Rhiannon Rose. =P

(Ah, but I know someone named Saffire Sonya Leona Penelopie Hodges... I believe her baby sister has as many names, beginning with Amber.)

Everything is all or none. There must be no diversty at all. A token black male who dies shortly folowing the beginning of the story is acceptable. (Stealth, anyone?) Alternatively, every character must have a different ethnic background that they talk about all the time and which influences all they do. If you run out of characters before ethnicities, just start doubling them up.

Punctuate! Every. Word!! Evar! or leave off all puctuation marks and capitalization to boot

Utilize thy tome of mystifying synnonyms evermore, or use the same adjectives and adverbs over and over and over for ever.

[Budgie_820]

Axioma

Chicken_Waltz_820

You all make me laugh.

Oh, I thought up another one. NEVER HAVE NERDS IN YOUR STORY! Seriously, they just screw things up. Or if you must have them in your story, make sure some beautiful ditz turns them into a beautiful ditz because everyone knows it's better to be pretty then smart.

Nerds MAY be allowed in the story as supporting characters, whose primary function is to make the hero look cooler by contrast and whose secondary function it is to Hack Into The Network Mainframe and give the hero information he needs so that he can do stuff that makes him cooler than the Nerd.

Yes good point, because nerds are only useful to hack into stuff. We're just machines. Gosh, I've only read about three stories or so with nerds. They're a totally ignored group.

[Jasper Riddle]

Chicken_Waltz_820

Axioma

Chicken_Waltz_820

You all make me laugh.

Oh, I thought up another one. NEVER HAVE NERDS IN YOUR STORY! Seriously, they just screw things up. Or if you must have them in your story, make sure some beautiful ditz turns them into a beautiful ditz because everyone knows it's better to be pretty then smart.

Nerds MAY be allowed in the story as supporting characters, whose primary function is to make the hero look cooler by contrast and whose secondary function it is to Hack Into The Network Mainframe and give the hero information he needs so that he can do stuff that makes him cooler than the Nerd.

Yes good point, because nerds are only useful to hack into stuff. We're just machines.

EXACTLY.
Nerds are always computer oriented and can hack into anything, even top-secret government files.
There is no other kind of nerd. In fact, there is no nerd that is not useful in some subtle way. You cannot have nerds that do nothing but play video games and are otherwise normal people--no! Their all-time video game skills give them amazing real-time reflexes!!! surprised

[Veive]

If you have a nerd main character, he is always the only one in your story with any taste. Also, he's never ugly or with poor social skills- he's ostracized because he's better and has better taste than anyone else. Everyone knows liking anime is truly the sign of a good mind!

[Budgie_820]

Veive

If you have a nerd main character, he is always the only one in your story with any taste. Also, he's never ugly or with poor social skills- he's ostracized because he's better and has better taste than anyone else. Everyone knows liking anime is truly the sign of a good mind!

Yeah, why doesn't any one ever write about band nerds? I'm a band nerd, and I know we're a freaky bunch(I'm writing a story about band nerds on a totally unrelated topic).

[Artwra]

[Sergeant Sargent]

Jasper Riddle

Chicken_Waltz_820

Axioma

Chicken_Waltz_820

You all make me laugh.

Oh, I thought up another one. NEVER HAVE NERDS IN YOUR STORY! Seriously, they just screw things up. Or if you must have them in your story, make sure some beautiful ditz turns them into a beautiful ditz because everyone knows it's better to be pretty then smart.

Nerds MAY be allowed in the story as supporting characters, whose primary function is to make the hero look cooler by contrast and whose secondary function it is to Hack Into The Network Mainframe and give the hero information he needs so that he can do stuff that makes him cooler than the Nerd.

Yes good point, because nerds are only useful to hack into stuff. We're just machines.

EXACTLY.
Nerds are always computer oriented and can hack into anything, even top-secret government files.
There is no other kind of nerd. In fact, there is no nerd that is not useful in some subtle way. You cannot have nerds that do nothing but play video games and are otherwise normal people--no! Their all-time video game skills give them amazing real-time reflexes!!! surprised

((My NaNoWriMo story has a nerdy necromancer. He even played D&D in highschool for lack of other real life necromancers to play with. whee ))

All nerds must wear standard N3RD G3@R.
Object 1. Really thick glasses
Object 2. Braces (In a pinch, just give them a retainer or crookid teeth. All nerds must have bad teeth!)
Object 3. A lab coat
Object 4. Pocket protector
Object 5. They must work in a dark room with all white walls surrounded by blue, red, and green wires where the only light comes from a computer screen.

[Molly the Emo Kitty]

Every story requires romancey angst to fall back on. Who cares if your main character is slashing his way through jungles of action packed description or swimming across deadly rivers filled with crocs, pirranhas (sp?) and leeches, he's doing it all for his kidnapped and/or brainwashed love!
P.S.-
In between the fighting and swimming, like at night after "dinner" when everyone else is asleep, main character hero boy ususally talks to the stars about his goal, maybe even cries a bit. This either leads to some miricle such as "the gods took pity upon the angsty mushy soul, and let him somehow talk to his love without her actually being there, and afterwards she goes back to being kidnapped and/or brainwashed" or a comrade (nerdy comrade, just to fit what everyone was talking about before) overhears the spilling of main character hero boy's soul and offers advice, because (nerdy) comrades never sleep!

(Wow... that was long... *has too much free time sweatdrop *)

[Astarael--Banisher]

Sergeant Sargent

Jasper Riddle

Chicken_Waltz_820

Axioma

Chicken_Waltz_820

You all make me laugh.

Oh, I thought up another one. NEVER HAVE NERDS IN YOUR STORY! Seriously, they just screw things up. Or if you must have them in your story, make sure some beautiful ditz turns them into a beautiful ditz because everyone knows it's better to be pretty then smart.

Nerds MAY be allowed in the story as supporting characters, whose primary function is to make the hero look cooler by contrast and whose secondary function it is to Hack Into The Network Mainframe and give the hero information he needs so that he can do stuff that makes him cooler than the Nerd.

Yes good point, because nerds are only useful to hack into stuff. We're just machines.

EXACTLY.
Nerds are always computer oriented and can hack into anything, even top-secret government files.
There is no other kind of nerd. In fact, there is no nerd that is not useful in some subtle way. You cannot have nerds that do nothing but play video games and are otherwise normal people--no! Their all-time video game skills give them amazing real-time reflexes!!! surprised

((My NaNoWriMo story has a nerdy necromancer. He even played D&D in highschool for lack of other real life necromancers to play with. whee ))

All nerds must wear standard N3RD G3@R.
Object 1. Really thick glasses
Object 2. Braces (In a pinch, just give them a retainer or crookid teeth. All nerds must have bad teeth!)
Object 3. A lab coat
Object 4. Pocket protector
Object 5. They must work in a dark room with all white walls surrounded by blue, red, and green wires where the only light comes from a computer screen.

Their odd mouth structure also gives them a strange way of talking, usually with a lot of slurping of saliva and smacking of lips.

Don't forget, though: the nerd will sell out everything if a beautiful woman pays attention to him. The Evil Mistress of Doom (who dresses in two leather strings, one for the top and one for the bottom) shall seduce your nerd into a goopy pile of lovesick mush by simply blowing him a kiss.

After all, brains and brains have nothing to do with each other. Nerds are stupid. Beyond their ability to hack into random stuff, they lack all intelligence. Which makes their hacking ability kind of inconsistent, but remember: Every supporting character is allowed one inconsistent trait; main characters are allowed seven! 4laugh

[Axioma]

It is entirely reasonable to hack into super-secret goverment data COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.

[Onambarwen]

Axioma

It is entirely reasonable to hack into super-secret goverment data COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.

Yes. By bumping your toaster.

[Monsieur le Docteur]

Axioma

It is entirely reasonable to hack into super-secret goverment data COMPLETELY BY ACCIDENT.

And naturally, all of said data will be uncoded, in simple terms, and in point form, organized with the information most relevant to the current user's plotline at the top. Because there's no such thing as wading through irrelevant information, right?

[Ms. Rita Skeeter]

You know what people really love when they're reading fanfiction? When you cross it over with a totally unrelated fiction; like mixing YuYu Hakusho and Inu Yasha.

We love it.

Really.