The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[The rad ranter]

No story is complete without too much dialogue and not enough description! The reader will totally understand your character's mood, whereabouts and everything else that's going on with him/her! If you're a girl, never write about a boy character. Same goes for guys.

[Jasper Riddle]

Amnesia is good. Remember the formula--
1. Character is in some desperate situation when something horrible happens and they get seperated from the rest of their group.
2. Character loses memory.
3. Something happens.
4. Character regains memory just in the nick of time and saves the day.

It's even better if the amnesia lasts for only a chapter or so. Until they fully regain memory, you have to throw in random flashbacks. Have one character ask the MC if they're okay, to which the MC says they're fine, just a little disoriented. But remember--your MC must recover their memory before the end. People never forget everything forever.

[Magic Toast]

Remember, kids! Bad guys are only bad because they were raped as a child, abused, or have gone insane. It isn't really their fault, but killing them is the only way to truely release them from their insanity! Those poor, poor people...

[Magic Toast]

If you're character has been stabbed, never fear! It missed all vital organs, didn't break any bones, and they didn't bleed too much. The purest kiss from their one true love healed it anyways, so they don't have to worry about getting it professionally patched up by a healer or doctor.

[Magic Toast]

The main character NEVER wants to be a prince/ss. They just want to be free of the duties of palace life, away from all the rich and jewels they want, and/or fighting on the battlefield! Who really wants to be a prince/ss anyways!?

[Lolita Doll]

When ever your character goes through a traumatic experience, and has that memory completely wiped away from his or her mind's existence, via magical spell, technilogy, or anything else effective, they will always get that .000000001% chance of getting their memory back.

[Vannak]

Oh, remember to be stupid.
At every chance you get remember to


















And don't forget to hate the world. All good work comes form hating the world, and crying about it to said world.

[Astarael--Banisher]

CorruptedMantis

All heroes and villains must use katanas as their primary weapons. Guns are dumb.

Stories are better when the main character has amnesia.

The female must always have strangely colored or two-toned eyes.

Always be sure to have the main character enjoy the same music/games/tv/etc. that you do.

Flashbacks must confuse the readers by not telling them it's a flashback.

Spend more time designing the bad guys clothing.

Japan is superior.

Always be sure that the main character has nightmares about a traumatic experience.

No one else in the world has unique experiences except the main character.

The main character must be the center of everything that happens in their surroundings (*coughharrypottercough*)

Ack! Solemn Truth post! Noooo!

Maybe I should be posting the Solemn Truths on every page, or something.

[Teh AntiSecks]

Topical references are your friend!

[Astarael--Banisher]

Magic is taught in a magic school. This school, the majority of the time, resembles a castle, and is almost always in some way magic itself. The students attending the school board there, with no exception. Because of this, the school may sometimes resemble a boarding school, but such instances are rather rare.

((Not bashing Harry Potter: I've come across many, many Schools of Magic, and all follow the above formula in one way or another. Creepy. One school I can think of that breaks free of this formula... It was a Witch's College, and you flew there by day on broomstick. It resembled... a college. And it was not inherently magic in itself. Ha! All cliches broken! Especially since the school turned out to be a twisted sort of trap.))

[Astarael--Banisher]

I'm going to be posting this post whenever I remember (as often as every couple pages to as rare every dozen pages or so). If I post it right after you post, do not be offended: this post is not meant to target ANYONE. It is merely to prevent the recurrence of several topics. These topics, once arising, have proven difficult to squash. The Anti-Guide has several time nearly drowned in the repitition caused by these topics. The topics, dubbed the Solemn Truths, are so solemnly true that discussing them is practically pointless. So while mentioning them is not forbidden, please also try to bring up some new points, too. Thank you, have a nice day!

Here Be the Solemn Truths, God

-The hero is always perfect/handsome/talented/sexually appealing/a virgin/the savior/a Mary-Sue/etc.

-The heroine is always perfect/handsome/talented/sexually appealing/a virgin/the savior/a Mary-Sue/etc.

-The hero and heroine get it on in the end because of True Love. Usually with lots of steamy and pointless sex. They also probably argued in the beginning, but what the hell. It's True Love.

-The main character shall Angst A Lot, possibly because of a tragic past.

-Destiny, prophecies, and being the Chosen One makes the world go round.

-There is no such thing as too much description for a main character. Use as many verbose phrases as possible, and hopefully manage to break up the description into several paragraphs.

-Using weird spelling, pretty fonts, and stupid grammar skills is an awesome thing to do.

-Odd-colored eyes are awesome and significant.

-Using random references to Japan is the way to go.

-Vilians are always the epitome of evil, or they are completely redeemed, nothing else.

-Plagiarism is to be embraced, not avoided.

-Beta-readers, editors, and all forms critics must always agree with you, otherwise, they are stupid, and their views can be discounted.

-Resurrections must always occur, as frequently as possible.

-The goverment is always evil. At least, it never works in favor of the hero.

[Alea Facta Est]

Astarael--Banisher

I'm going to be posting this post whenever I remember (as often as every couple pages to as rare every dozen pages or so). If I post it right after you post, do not be offended: this post is not meant to target ANYONE. It is merely to prevent the recurrence of several topics. These topics, once arising, have proven difficult to squash. The Anti-Guide has several time nearly drowned in the repitition caused by these topics. The topics, dubbed the Solemn Truths, are so solemnly true that discussing them is practically pointless. So while mentioning them is not forbidden, please also try to bring up some new points, too. Thank you, have a nice day!

Haha, so true. Well, it definitely works much better than making people read all 3k posts to see what they shouldn't repeat. W00t.

[Sergeant Sargent]

Satan can only be portrayed one of two ways: an evil beast with red skin, cloven hoves, horns, and a goatee or a regular guy with horns and a tail in a corporate buisness suit. Because as everyone knows corporations are ALWAYS evil.

[Astarael--Banisher]

Angels are blonde. And they are pretty. And they are young. Angels that are red-haired, balding, middle-aged, and fat simply don't make the cut in heaven; they get sent to do cloud-cleaning duty or something.

Demons, on the other hand, can have hair nearly any color except blonde.

And as a side-point, the hair color of brown should be avoided in angels and demons, unless it's a really special sort of brown that shines like glitter when light hits it.

[FortySeven]

Astarael--Banisher

Angels are blonde. And they are pretty. And they are young. Angels that are red-haired, balding, middle-aged, and fat simply don't make the cut in heaven; they get sent to do cloud-cleaning duty or something.

Demons, on the other hand, can have hair nearly any color except blonde.

And as a side-point, the hair color of brown should be avoided in angels and demons, unless it's a really special sort of brown that shines like glitter when light hits it.

Yes, angels always have look like lobotomized girly-boys, which makes the yaoi between themselves and demons all the hotter.