The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Unhinge]

Jasper Riddle

what ever happened to the nerd? you know, the guy who always gets picked on? glasses (preferably with tape), suspenders, oversized clothes, pale. nerds. they read a lot and are always more knowledgable than evvyone else, which meansd they MUST get picked on by EVERYONE except the good guy/gal.

Much agreement. It is also preferable to describe appearances using steryotyoes. Scratch preferable, it's VITAL.

You must also use strange but common sayings to cover up the fact that your pretty much lacking in brain cells and put them all over your book.

Lastly you must, I repeat MUST have your hero be either the really obvious hero, or the geek who everbody expects to one day, jump off the Empire State building or something.

PS Your English teacher knows squat. Pelt him with meatballs!

Edit: Happy 77th page.

[ringwraith10]

Quark Serpent

Credit to Sargent_Stupid for the sexxy banner.

People go on and on about all the things good writers need, and in fact become so obsessed with 'What makes a writer good?' that they forget all the pitfalls and thus fall into idiocy as easily as they create eloquence.

Thus, the Anti-Guide: a compiling of ways to totally screw the living (well, figuratively living) s**t out of a story.

Um, quick reminder--these are things you shouldn't do, so if you say something like

Quote:

Don't use Mary-Sues

it means that you think a good story has Mary-Sues.

Holy shaitt, so many awesome pointers...my idea to compile them has gone to Hell.

The one thing I ask is for more suggestions not specific to fantasy stories; but then, I'm probably one of the few on this site who doesn't write fantasy.

Hmmm, that seems like a cool concept. smile

[hecate-athena]

*pokes* That's how it got to be seventy-seven pages long.

[LeonardE]

Put aside sixteen pages just for the description of pudding.

[hecate-athena]

Right. 61 pages then.

[timechaser]

...pudding?


If you're collaborating, don't tell your fellow collaborators about your plans for the plot. Keep your new characters a secret--because the other characters just can't know that they're the most powerful beings in the universe!!! (with more exclamation points than that, of course). Your fellow writers don't need this information, not at all!

[hecate-athena]

Punctuation abuse is the best thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[M00NEY]

Definitely do a collaboration where you and the other writer take turns finishing each other's sentences. See how crazy you can make it. Plot and characters don't matter, and if anyone says otherwise, tell them writing is all about having fun.

[Gwynnia]

hecate-athena

Punctuation abuse is the best thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That, and over, using, commas. See, it,s great. stupendously, wonderfully, great. Oh, and so is adjective abuse.

[hecate-athena]

Ohyes. Adjective abuse is second only to the actual abuse that your character suffered through.

[KiwiOfDestruction]

Spelling it "fairy" is so two seconds ago. It's totally faerie. It's AWESOME!!!!!11!!one1!!!!two!1! And who cares if you haven't heard it spelled like that before neopets existed. IT MUST BE NOTHING OTHER THAN FAERIE.

[Constance Vigeaux]

ALWAYS use direct characterization. No one wants to wade through the character's dialogue, actions, etc, to find out what he's like! We want instant gratification!

Also, introduce all of your twenty main characters in the first chapter along with a complete description. We all want to meet them all right now. Who cares if we get so confused we want to kill ourselves? All that matters is that the characters get sufficient space to be described, oh say four paragraphs of personality, looks, looks, and best friends. Oh yeah, and the best friend's looks and who they have crushes on! That's a must.

[hecate-athena]

Constance Vigeaux

ALWAYS use direct characterization. No one wants to wade through the character's dialogue, actions, etc, to find out what he's like! We want instant gratification!

Also, introduce all of your twenty main characters in the first chapter along with a complete description. We all want to meet them all right now. Who cares if we get so confused we want to kill ourselves? All that matters is that the characters get sufficient space to be described, oh say four paragraphs of personality, looks, looks, and best friends. Oh yeah, and the best friend's looks and who they have crushes on! That's a must.

Always include a long, drawn-out geographical and historical explanation of your world (if you're doing fantasy). Everyine will want to hear it, and it is absolutely NOT the pinnacle of boredom and annoyance. Heavens no ninja .

[Storeage]

There MUST be gay guys, for gay guy are 'teh H0TNEZZ!11369!', and one must really be a woman in a man's body. I mean, who ever heard of two non-girly guys ending up together? (Or gay girls, if you're a guy.)

[hecate-athena]

Storeage

There MUST be gay guys, for gay guy are 'teh H0TNEZZ!11369!', and one must really be a woman in a man's body. I mean, who ever heard of two non-girly guys ending up together? (Or gay girls, if you're a guy.)

Right. The couple has to have a distinct "manly" guy and "feminine" guy. They can't both be manly. However, occasionally it is ok to put to feminine boys together. Once again, "OMG TEH HOTNESS!1!11!"