I'm a writer, but i think i suck, what do you think?

[Kittys-yay]

okay, so i do know i need work. But i also think i suck.
But what do you guys think? This is some of my recent work.
It's a story, about a thing, named Slenderman.
Here's the link to it. But i honestly want to know what you think, am i good or bad?
Tall,Slender, and Evil part 1

[Klaark]

Quote:

Tall,Slender and Evil

Part 1

I was lost in the forest at night. My friends and I had gone out to party, but I only had a sip of beer. After we left, my friends dared me to climb the fence around the forest. The fence was topped with barbed wire, but no one knew why. As far as anyone knew, there was nothing that important in the woods.

Never one to back down from a dare, I found where someone had dug a hole under the fence and used it to get past before one of the regular police patrols came by. I told my friends I'd be back soon and went into the woods.

I found myself amongst the trees with nothing but my flashlight, and my bravado evaporated. I kept walking and a strange feeling overtook me, one I can't describe. It wasn't long before I came to a tree that was unusually large and smooth. Taped to it was a note, which I read.

"No eyes. Always watches," Is what it said.

I had no idea what that meant, but didn't have much time to think about it before another feeling was on me, one that made me think something was coming. Feeling my mouth go dry, I made to leave but then I knew something was behind me.

It was a tall man in a black suit with long arms and legs. I screamed when I saw what should have been his face, and now the note made sense.

It snatched at me but missed and struck the tree. I was too afraid to move and his second swing took me by the throat and he held me down. Suddenly I was lifted up and I saw his arm elongate and become narrow like a spear. Before he could skewer me, something happened, I don't know what, and he was gone.

I know he won't be gone for long. Something tells me he'll come back for me.

That's sort of what I would have written.

No, you're not bad at all, but of course you could stand some improvement in a lot of areas. Right now I'd focus on writing more and fleshing things out. You've got to build suspense for these types of things, so spend some time talking about these friends and this party. Tell us what this woods with the fence looks like. Where is it, what do people say about it?

[Kittys-yay]

Klaark

Quote:

Tall,Slender and Evil

Part 1

I was lost in the forest at night. My friends and I had gone out to party, but I only had a sip of beer. After we left, my friends dared me to climb the fence around the forest. The fence was topped with barbed wire, but no one knew why. As far as anyone knew, there was nothing that important in the woods.

Never one to back down from a dare, I found where someone had dug a hole under the fence and used it to get past before one of the regular police patrols came by. I told my friends I'd be back soon and went into the woods.

I found myself amongst the trees with nothing but my flashlight, and my bravado evaporated. I kept walking and a strange feeling overtook me, one I can't describe. It wasn't long before I came to a tree that was unusually large and smooth. Taped to it was a note, which I read.

"No eyes. Always watches," Is what it said.

I had no idea what that meant, but didn't have much time to think about it before another feeling was on me, one that made me think something was coming. Feeling my mouth go dry, I made to leave but then I knew something was behind me.

It was a tall man in a black suit with long arms and legs. I screamed when I saw what should have been his face, and now the note made sense.

It snatched at me but missed and struck the tree. I was too afraid to move and his second swing took me by the throat and he held me down. Suddenly I was lifted up and I saw his arm elongate and become narrow like a spear. Before he could skewer me, something happened, I don't know what, and he was gone.

I know he won't be gone for long. Something tells me he'll come back for me.

That's sort of what I would have written.

No, you're not bad at all, but of course you could stand some improvement in a lot of areas. Right now I'd focus on writing more and fleshing things out. You've got to build suspense for these types of things, so spend some time talking about these friends and this party. Tell us what this woods with the fence looks like. Where is it, what do people say about it?

i really can't, because i already finished Tall,Slender, and Evil. In fact i'm gonna make the sequel. I actually started this when i was tired as hell. I still don't get why i wrote a horror, when i'm not good at it.

[Klaark]

You can't?

No, you can. Rewrite it.

[Kittys-yay]

Klaark

You can't?

No, you can. Rewrite it.

bro, i only rewrite stuff i really like. I mean i liked this, but, i just don't want to take the time to rewrite it. I mean i got enough on my plate as it is, with school coming up and stuff. Maybe in the near future i can. Maybe. I don't know, my friends have spoken saying high school is tough

[Symphony of Magic]

Forgive me for sounding harsh, but...

If you really want to make it better, rewrite it. Flat out and simple.

The piece is not bad, but it is not really good. It's simply okay. It could stand for a good bit of improvement. If you want to make the piece better, you should rewrite it. Yes, it can be tough to find time to write. But if you can't, then simply don't write for a few days. It's simple, really. Sorry, but I wouldn't write a sequel until I touched up the first part. If you want a full review and critique, I'll give you one, but keep in mind... Rewriting will not only make the story look better, but it will probably improve your skills as a writer.

[Klaark]

Kittys-yay

Klaark

You can't?

No, you can. Rewrite it.

bro, i only rewrite stuff i really like. I mean i liked this, but, i just don't want to take the time to rewrite it. I mean i got enough on my plate as it is, with school coming up and stuff. Maybe in the near future i can. Maybe. I don't know, my friends have spoken saying high school is tough

M'kay, Home-slice, if that's how you feel, I've got nothing else to tell ya.

[Kittys-yay]

Per Noctem

Forgive me for sounding harsh, but...

If you really want to make it better, rewrite it. Flat out and simple.

The piece is not bad, but it is not really good. It's simply okay. It could stand for a good bit of improvement. If you want to make the piece better, you should rewrite it. Yes, it can be tough to find time to write. But if you can't, then simply don't write for a few days. It's simple, really. Sorry, but I wouldn't write a sequel until I touched up the first part. If you want a full review and critique, I'll give you one, but keep in mind... Rewriting will not only make the story look better, but it will probably improve your skills as a writer.

but that's what i was going for. I was looking for simple. And for some reason, everyone finds that that is an amazing piece. And i am improving my skills. I have rewritten, but it's not like this is gonna make me money. Which i really need. But oh well. But anyways, i would redo it. But i don't see a point, i mean i'll only redo it then i'll forget about it. And there goes my hard work. Besides, i don't even know where to start with this.

... i'm so tired i'm not even thinking straight. What the hell did i just say?

[Symphony of Magic]

I recommend getting a little rest, clearing your head. Once everything's clear and you're more rested, take some of this things to heart and think about what you'd like to do.

[Kittys-yay]

Per Noctem

I recommend getting a little rest, clearing your head. Once everything's clear and you're more rested, take some of this things to heart and think about what you'd like to do.

would be useful, but lately sleep doesn't cure sleepiness. =_= i'll sleep, and then wake up and i'll still be tired

[Fireweed_honey]

Kittys-yay

Per Noctem

I recommend getting a little rest, clearing your head. Once everything's clear and you're more rested, take some of this things to heart and think about what you'd like to do.

would be useful, but lately sleep doesn't cure sleepiness. =_= i'll sleep, and then wake up and i'll still be tired

Sweet mercy, you are young. What Per Noctem means by rest is to put the story aside for a month and then look at it with fresh eyes. That way, you have had time to let it simmer and you're not just seeing the same thing. When you pick it up again, you'll be able to see where you need to work.

All good writers write, and rewrite, and edit everything. Multiple times. Heck, my first novel isn't being sent out to publishers until after the fourth edit by me. My second novel is going through a major rewrite, and I've got college and work. If you really want to write, you find the time and you do everything you can to perfect your craft.

[Kittys-yay]

Fireweed_honey

Kittys-yay

Per Noctem

I recommend getting a little rest, clearing your head. Once everything's clear and you're more rested, take some of this things to heart and think about what you'd like to do.

would be useful, but lately sleep doesn't cure sleepiness. =_= i'll sleep, and then wake up and i'll still be tired

Sweet mercy, you are young. What Per Noctem means by rest is to put the story aside for a month and then look at it with fresh eyes. That way, you have had time to let it simmer and you're not just seeing the same thing. When you pick it up again, you'll be able to see where you need to work.

All good writers write, and rewrite, and edit everything. Multiple times. Heck, my first novel isn't being sent out to publishers until after the fourth edit by me. My second novel is going through a major rewrite, and I've got college and work. If you really want to write, you find the time and you do everything you can to perfect your craft.

thanks for the opinion.

[The Despair Factor]

I agree with you, you suck.
Grammar is terrible, you've insulted syntax, and it's nothing but telling me what's happening.

Just rewrite it; better yet, have someone else edit it for you. Plus, for being part one, of what I assume to be eight, it's too short. The character is thrown into a seemingly forbidden forest, and to me there isn't enough mystery to it

[Kittys-yay]

The Despair Factor

I agree with you, you suck.
Grammar is terrible, you've insulted syntax, and it's nothing but telling me what's happening.

Just rewrite it; better yet, have someone else edit it for you. Plus, for being part one, of what I assume to be eight, it's too short. The character is thrown into a seemingly forbidden forest, and to me there isn't enough mystery to it

you know, i was having a good day until you said this. Now i'm just gonna go to my room and cry. I'm giving up..... i'm not going to be an author, i'll just go work at burger king or something.

[Alberic of Krufton]

Kittys-yay

you know, i was having a good day until you said this. Now i'm just gonna go to my room and cry. I'm giving up..... i'm not going to be an author, i'll just go work at burger king or something.

Unsure if sarcasm. Hoping so.

So much hate in this forum of late, my god. I hate to be the "can't we all just get along" guy, but, seriously, can't we all just get along?

@ Kitty - If you want to be a writer, not even an author or anything, but just a writer, you have to love what you do, meaning it's not something you can drop easily over a fit. If you can give up on it, then maybe you weren't meant to pursue this as a hobby or anything more important. That said, there's no good reason to quit.

Everyone started off as a terrible writer. We were all young and dumb once, with no skill set to speak of. Then we got better, because we stuck with it, learned, and kept writing. Few of us will be financially successful with our writing, but that doesn't stop us. We learn to take criticisms, with a grain of salt if we must, and we learn to brush off comments with no value, positive or negative. We write, hobbyists and aspiring authors alike, because it's what we love to do.