Welcome to Gaia! ::

^^^^^ There it is ^^^^^

If this is not clear, please ask away. I am off for the night, please do feel free to message me anytime! I am in the throes of horrid dental work, so in and out of stupors; but doing better than I thought I would. Its the drugs.

Eagle

Poem

1st: Triplenegative - Beyond Your Sin

2nd: bohemian_lover_boy - Donkey Balls

3rd: Ronove - The Firefly

Honourable Mentions

Euphoric Ghost - San Francisco Airport

Birthday Pirate - Milkweed

Ipisman - Sleep Sound, Father

Haiku

1st: triplenegative - Swan

2nd: neko_chan13 - First Snow

3rd: Vana Hiril Fea - Music of my Life

Honourable Mentions

[~Carly Amalfi~] - Untitled

SimpleElegance - The Touch

swordmaster896 - THE SUN AND THE STORMS - 1,2, and 3



Wolf

Poem

1st: Alphabravo - Sichorra Mine

2nd: Poetess Laureate - Desert Lesson

3rd: Barboxacon - The Java Set

Honourable Mentions

Mynnan - Euclid Missed the Boat

Bane is on Fire! - Words

Imbibery - Machinations

Long Time Listener - Horus and the River

Haiku

1st: demagoguery - Shallow Graves

2nd: Panthino the Moth - Use red selectively

3rd: BirthdayPirate - HAIKU

Honourable Mentions

Ronove - Red and Wine

Euphoric Ghost - Fear

Leonis - Accident



Shark

Poem

1st: Onion - The Last Thursday

2nd: Vespertine - Iron Under Tongue

3rd: Oxxidation8 - Desert

Honourable Mentions

Panthino the Moth - The Middle Classes Have So Far to Fall

Gambol - Bethesda

Aged Cherry Twizzlers - Untitled

Haiku

calviness - Dinner

Barboxacon - The Uncomfortable Flowers

Kiria Delusional Kitty - Summer

Honourable Mentions

Falda - Falda`s Entry #2

Lillian Ashe - Spring-Break Graffiti

Ipisman - A Thought

Also, here is an index to find any one's poem, which I stole from Sqarr. Use Ctrl+F on your keyboard to search for a poet's name or a poem. Then use this link:
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=16810335&page=4
But change the 4 at the end to the page number that you want.


Wings_of_Esh - Living in a dream - Page 1
Wings_of_Esh - The Angel from Out of Town - Page 1
[Alphabravo] - Sichorra Mine - Page 2
Follyiandra - Voices in the Desert Sky - Page 2
Follyiandra - The Night the Sky Wept - Page 2
Smurf_74_420 - Corrupted Mind - Page 2
Doleon - Hidden Devil - Page 2
Doleon - Thoughts of Grey - Page 2
Doleon - Your Thorns - Page 2

Burned17 - Counting Sheep - Page 2
Barboxacon - The Java Set - Page 3
Ipisman - Once it was a Garden - Page 3
Ipisman - Lost Inside You - Page 3
Ipisman - Sleep Sound, Father - Page 3
Kasatie - What does love mean to you - Page 4
alianorastar - Quintet - Page 4
Azzi McSpazzi - Voice - Page 4
Azzi McSpazzi - Another Moment - Page 4

Azzi McSpazzi - Eyes of Flame - Page 4
grand mal seizure - Secret Agent - Page 4
[[Omg_Its_Jess]] - Queen of the Shadows - Page 4
TheNameIsMarc - Christmas Day Blown Away? - Page 5
Leonis - Untitled - Page 5 HAIKU
watermelonmagic - secrets - Page 6
Aethiana - An Ode to Forbidden Cereal - Page 8
TheNameIsMarc - Misunderstood Animals - Page 9
goddessflame - beauty and the beast - Page 9
goddessflame - This is Who You Are - Page 10


goddessflame - Still Life - Page 10
Panthino the Moth - The middle classes have so far to fall - Page 10
lottiejeanb - Cobwebbed walls - Page 10
lottiejeanb - cans of coke - Page 10
Leonis - A small boy's pleasure - Page 11 HAIKU
Wolven Poet - Long Live the Earth - Page 11
Justin The Good - Silver Wing - Page 13
Justin The Good - A poem for Harry Potter - Page 13
Justin The Good - Glinda is a Music Box - Page 13
Neko_Hito - Clueless - Page 13



Vespertine - Iron Under Tongue - Page 13
Vespertine - How He Learned to Change - Page 13
Vespertine - Untitled: Introspection #3 - Page 13
stup1dity - Stress - Page 13
Poetess Laureate - First Steps - Page 13
Poetess Laureate - The Other Side - Page 13
Poetess Laureate - Desert Lesson - Page 13
Wolven Poet - Ten-Cents If I Know you, Ten Bucks If I Don't - Page 14
[.TwilightRain.] - LASTHURRAHPOEM - Page 17
Ironic_Oxymoron - Society - Page 18

Euphoric Ghost - San Francisco Airport - Page 18
Euphoric Ghost - For Her - Page 18
Euphoric Ghost - Cold winters alone - Page 18 HAIKU
Leonis - Accident - Page 18 HAIKU
Ironic_Oxymoron - Long Distance Love - Page 18
BlueBus - POTTER'S GROUND - Page 19
[~Carly Amalfi~] - Untitled - Page 19 HAIKU
[~Carly Amalfi~] - Cherry Blossoms - Page 19 HAIKU
[~Carly Amalfi~] - Untitled - Page 19
mordeith - Revolution - Page 19


mordeith - Genocide - Page 19
mordeith - Radiance - Page 19
Neko_Hito - Forgotten Playground - Page 19
a body without a soul - Death before love - Page 20
a body without a soul - To whom may love me - Page 20
Demonlord_7 - to care to much - Page 20
Demonlord_7 - flaws of the human being - Page 20
Demonlord_7 - Dead men - Page 20
Chrisu-kun - Darkness - Page 20
a body without a soul - secert - Page 20

Alkia - Little Orphan Boy - Page 20
Kemasha_The_Wind_Demon - Untitled - Page 21
Neko_Hito - Don`t - Page 21
child_of_roses - IT - Page 22
child_of_roses - I am your gift - Page 22
child_of_roses - Mirror - Page 22
Poetnevermore - Drip Drop - Page 22
ManateeMan - The Heart - Page 22
ManateeMan - Envys Flame - Page 22
[-E r i n n-] - ELF MEETS LOVE - Page 23


[-E r i n n-] - Untitled - Page 23
[-E r i n n-] - CODA - Page 23
Mynnan - Euclid Missed the Boat - Page 24
Mynnan - learning to be human - Page 24
Saeunn - Cry - Page 25
Aged Cherry Twizzlers - Intoxicating birth sparkles - Page 25
Aged Cherry Twizzlers - Untitled - Page 25
Aged Cherry Twizzlers - SPF Infinity - Page 25
Manatee Man - Promises in Night - Page 25
LongTimeListener - Horace and the river - Page 25

Bane is on Fire! - Words - Page 25
Bane is on Fire! - there is Something blocking maupassant's mirror - Page 25
Bane is on Fire! - The Angel Divided No More - Page 25
China_Doll - Poem - Page 28
kornerpocket - Blue's Train Tracks - Page 28
DarkCloudsBurning - Flea and Dog - Page 30
Dagda IV - First Time - Page 31
sohmarin - My World - Page 31
sohmarin - The Things we Can’t See - Page 31
sohmarin - Emotions - Page 32


Tim The Enchanter - To Learn - Page 32
Tim The Enchanter - Rain - Page 32
Tim The Enchanter - Run Through The Jungle - Page 32
Kira-MarsAngel - Petals - Page 34
Kira-MarsAngel - Seasons of my heart - Page 34
Kira-MarsAngel - Falling Rain - Page 35
Deacon Nuno - The Grass Menagerie - Page 35
Deacon Nuno - Stabbed in Slow Motion - Page 35
Deacon Nuno - Children in a Candy Shoppe - Page 36
Magic_Rain - The Feel of the Night - Page 37

OpalGirl - Caribbean Eyes - Page 37
OpalGirl - The Breakup - Page 37
OpalGirl - Envy - Page 37
Sylphi - The House By the Sea - Page 37
Sylphi - The Grove - Page 37
Sylphi - Down Below - Page 37
Kitazawa - Fair Princess - Page 38
Aethiana - Blood Innocence - Page 38
gloria_wong_91 - Untitled - Page 40
Lady Hero - A Daydream for the Contrary - Page 40

Mothius - Good-Bye my Angel Dear - Page 40
Mothius - Angel In Disguise - Page 40
Mothius - Love Always - Page 40
Miss_Feline_Tenticle - A Fish Called Koi - Page 41
Miss_Feline_Tenticle - Get a life - Page 41
Miss_Feline_Tenticle - Is it true - Page 41
bohemian_lover_boy - Spring and Sheets and RUMPLESTILTSKIN! - Page 41
bohemian_lover_boy - Connotation from a Scab - Page 41
bohemian_lover_boy - Donkey Balls - Page 41
Dragon Ladysupreme - Nature of a Spirit - Page 42

Dragon Ladysupreme - Dream No More - Page 42
Dragon Ladysupreme - Mistletoe Christmas - Page 42
The Opium Kick - Is That a Grenade in Your Pocket? - Page 43
Plea of Winter - Listen - Page 43
Onion - stranger - Page 43
Onion - four ways to look at a sunset - Page 43
Onion - the last thursday - Page 43
Aquamariene-Joy - Hidden in the shadows - Page 45
Aquamariene-Joy - Left Behind - Page 45
Aquamariene-Joy - Love bites - Page 45

localgenocide - Opposite - Page 46
Aldavar - The Prophecy - Page 46
Aldavar - My Neighbor - Page 46
Aldavar - A Spell of Invocation - Page 46
Kiria Delusional Kitty - Alleluia and Dance - Page 47
I Love Mana - Heven.VS.Hell - Page 48
Fayt Leingod224 - Can You Feel My World. . . - Page 48
SimpleElegance - I Will Not Preach to You Depression. - Page 49
Imaginary Illusion - Philosophy of Rain - Page 50
Ginny_Ryu - Double-Edged: Desire’s Grudge - Page 50

Ginny_Ryu - So Separated - Page 50
Ginny_Ryu - These Evil Dreams He Schemes - Page 50
DarkCloudsBurning - The Buzz isn't - Page 50
DarkCloudsBurning - Ampersands - Page 50
harriet_cain - You look at me - Page 50
harriet_cain - Dare - Page 50
harriet_cain - Dressing Red - Page 50
Kiria Delusional Kitty - Howl - Page 51
SkyTigress - Lack of Address - Page 53
Temujin Khaghan - 1793 - Page 54

Temujin Khaghan - To Love Too Much - Page 54
Temujin Khaghan - Thief - Page 54
The Opium Kick - The White World - Page 54
Neene - .Theif. - Page 55
Death Dudette - Hurt & Hatred - Page 57
Death Dudette - Little Things - Page 57
Death Dudette - Wings - Page 57
Cherokee Tampons - Clocks - Page 58
Kiria Delusional Kitty - At A Distance - Page 59
mentalrose - Eternity - Page 61

BirthdayPirate - Honolulu Suicide - Page 62
Lillian Ashe - School - Page 62
BirthdayPirate - Milkweed - Page 62
BirthdayPirate - Love so sour - Page 63
Lillian Ashe - spring-break graffiti - Page 63 HAIKU
swordmaster896 - THE SUN AND THE STORMS - 1 - Page 64 HAIKU
swordmaster896 - THE SUN AND THE STORMS - 2 - Page 64 HAIKU
swordmaster896 - THE SUN AND THE STORMS - 3 - Page 64 HAIKU
ayashi_satu - An Autumn Leaf - Page 65
ayashi_satu - I miss you, my love. - Page 65

ayashi_satu - The Girl With Sad Eyes - Page 65
angcoy - A Heartless Angel - Page 65
angcoy - Violinist’s Creed - Page 65
angcoy - The Names of the Angels - Page 65
Sushy - An angel watch over you - Page 67
Sushy - The child - Page 67
neko_chan13 - First Snow - Page 68 HAIKU
neko_chan13 - The Time for Rest - Page 68
neko_chan13 - Pet Peeves - Page 68
Antifreeze Kisses - Arizona Wind - Page 77


Antifreeze Kisses - Arizona Wind - Page 77
Antifreeze Kisses - Office Casual - Page 77
Eruden Ki - Remember - Page 77
Eruden Ki - Tombstone Silence - Page 77
Eruden Ki - Butterfly Skeleton - Page 77
TearsofBlood - Little Dreamer - Page 78
TearsofBlood - A Wingless Love - Page 78
TearsofBlood - A Little Bit Colder Inside - Page 78
VampressSadria - Another ******** Tear..... - Page 80
calviness - Dissolution - Page 79

Auroara - Winter Days - Page 84
Master_Marquise - Ransom Me Deadly - Page 88
Master_Marquise - The Last Dream of Proteus - Page 88
Kiria Delusional Kitty - Summer - Page 89 HAIKU
Kiria Delusional Kitty - Gentle Morning - Page 89 HAIKU
Kiria Delusional Kitty - Cycle - Page 89 HAIKU
Euphoric Ghost - Fear - Page 90 HAIKU
Euphoric Ghost - Good Day - Page 90 HAIKU
Euphoric Ghost - In The Embrace Of Darkness - Page 90
watermelonmagic - Untitled - Page 95

watermelonmagic - Broken Glass - Page 95
kea012590 - A Drip on the Window - Page 95
Leonis - Peace - Page 98 HAIKU
Chigotsa - Reflection - Page 99
Chigotsa - Thank You - Page 99
Chigotsa - Meeting You Again - Page 99
calviness - Decadence - Page 79
calviness - Professor - Page 79
alliisara - Shall I Read to Thee? - Page 101
Imbibery - First Date - Page 101

VampressSadria - Emotions - Page 101
VampressSadria - Places and Darkness - Page 101
Imbibery - Apartment #29 - Page 101
Imbibery - Machinations - Page 101
Hoketai - Hardships - Page 104
Hoketai - Untitled - Page 104
Hoketai - Crimson Memories - Page 104
Panthino the Moth - Untitled - For Now - Page 104
Barboxacon - Fruits - Page 104
triplenegative - Beyond your sin - Page 106

triplenegative - Rock Gods - Page 106
triplenegative - Swift is the sky - Page 106
Mekaama - Adarien and Anariel - Page 107
Mekaama - High school Reunion - Page 107
Mekaama - War with Ghosts - Page 107
crissa16 - Black-Winged Angel I - Page 110
crissa16 - The Black-Winged Angel II - Page 110
crissa16 - The Dream Effect - Page 111
Oxxidation8 - Superhighway - Page 111
Oxxidation8 - Cross - Page 111

Oxxidation8 - Desert - Page 111
grand mal seizure - The Underappreciated - Page 111
lupusaeth - One Night Stand - Page 111
lupusaeth - House of Four Seasons - Page 111
lupusaeth - [The Alarm Doesn't Work When It's Raining - Page 111
Wolven Poet - The Devil's Advocate is God's Best Friend - Page 112
PeasanT_MaN - Tick, Tock - Page 113
PeasanT_MaN - Age of Enlightenment - Page 113
Miho-t3h-d4rkly-cu+3-0n3 - Possession - Page 113
Iamanna - Roadkill - Page 114

Angie-La - Calm down - Page 116
alliisara - Lullaby - Page 118
kornerpocket - Ode to Body Hair - Page 118
Barboxacon - Another Silver Strand - Page 122 HAIKU
BirthdayPirate - HAIKU - Page 122 HAIKU
triplenegative - Morning Mistress - Page Page 123 HAIKU
triplenegative - Kratos - Page Page 123 HAIKU
triplenegative - Swan - Page Page 123 HAIKU
Conrad Gillespie - The Night I Died - Page 123
Conrad Gillespie - Little Bird - Page 123

Conrad Gillespie - Life's Little Ironies - Page 123
calviness - Dinner - Page 123 HAIKU
calviness - Hello Stranger - Page 123 HAIKU
calviness - Relations - Page 123 HAIKU

Kiervran - Untitled - Page 124
Mr. Turner - Entry #1 - Page 124
Mr. Turner - Entry #2 - Page 124
Mr. Turner - Entry #3 - Page 124
falda - In Love and War - Page 124
Ipisman - Of Falcons and Vultures - Page124 HAIKU

Ipisman - A thought - Page 124 HAIKU
Ipisman - A question - Page 124 HAIKU
ThinMick - Loving Hemmorhage - Page 124
ThinMick - Romance Remembers its Age - Page 124
ThinMick - - Page 124
alliisara - Air - Page 125
China_Doll - Modern Lullaby - Page 125
China_Doll - Another Place - Page 125
ArmorFelix - Pseudonym-ph - Page 125
ArmorFelix - The first room I shared with roaches - Page 125

ArmorFelix - Thoughts on the Womb - Page 125
Hoodimann - The Obsessive Singularity - Page 125
Hoodimann - What Shall Never Lose? (Spirits Don't Keep Time) - Page 125
Hoodimann - Puppets Don't Get Weary - Page 126
falda - Falda's entry #2 - Page 126
Gambol - Bethesda - Page 126
Gambol - Day Six Moves Into Seven - Page 126
Barboxacon - The Uncomfortable Flowers. - Page 126 HAIKU
Barboxacon - Sun Undermines - Page 126 HAIKU
Panthino the Moth - Use red selectively - Page 127 HAIKU

Panthino the Moth - Song of the air con - Page 127 HAIKU
Panthino the Moth - I was looking forward to the romance of autumn - Page 127 HAIKU
SimpleElegance - Forever Dead. - Page 131
SimpleElegance - Part One - Page 131
Panthino the Moth - Mammary - Page 132
Vana Hiril Fea - Love - Page 132 HAIKU
Vana Hiril Fea - Memories - Page 132
SimpleElegance - My Demise. - Page 132 HAIKU
SimpleElegance - Bottomless. - Page 132 HAIKU
SimpleElegance - The Touch. - Page 132 HAIKU


Vana Hiril Fea - Confusion - Page 132
Vana Hiril Fea - Heartbreak - Page 132 HAIKU
Vana Hiril Fea - Goodbye - Page 132
Vana Hiril Fea - Music of my Life - Page 133 HAIKU
Ronove - Beneath the Moon - Page 133
Ronove - The Firefly - Page 133
falda - Pulse Tone - Page 133
Ronove - Red and Wine - Page 134 HAIKU
Ronove - Reflection - Page 134 HAIKU
falda - Tell me-strange narrative - Page 134

demagoguery - Sentinel - Page 134 HAIKU
demagoguery - Shallow Graves - Page 134 HAIKU
demagoguery - The Devil's Advocate is God's Best Friend - Page 134
demagoguery - Forceps - Page 134

Here are the comments I made on some of the poems during the judging. I have more coming because some people asked for comments specifically and I haven't gotten to those yet. Well, at least, here is what I DO have!

P • Onion - four ways to look at a sunset - Page 43
Concentration on a single, identifiable object. Effective use of small, contained, and unmixed metaphors. Over all format with labeled stanzas presents multiple perspectives beautifully. Line breaks utilize natural pauses contrasted with the unnatural for subtle emphasis of certain lines over others. Lines end on nouns and verbs-- except for the last. The last line is the weakest although the idea is delightful. Just don't like the “it” there.

• Poetess Laureate - Desert Lesson - Page 13
Two distinct metaphors with subtle transition. Line breaks mostly reflect contained phrases and natural pauses with a few acceptable exceptions. Second and third stanzas have the best beat, with a winding up from the first stanza and a winding down in the stanzas following. Last stanza completes the meaning of the poem beautifully.

P • ArmorFelix - Pseudonym-ph - Page 125
Pseudonym-ph
Tone set perfectly, like the babble of a conversation between many people, or between two people over a long period of time. Subject of sex was fit in well and made me laugh. Weakest lines: “all/over/you” Strongest: “Our 69 sense isn't publishable/but flows eternal in private” “So let's make up/a new term for this”. Overlay of “pseudonym” topic expresses the difficulty and artificiality of language.

• LongTimeListener - Horace and the river - Page 25
2nd stanza has mixed/confused/confusing metaphors. Poem seemed to stand on it's own although written about an obscure subject. Best line: “The seed of your enemy /chuckles in the water.” Last stanza wrapped up poem neatly.

P • Vespertine - How He Learned to Change - Page 13
Metaphors assist sense of change from beginning to end. Worst line: “Wasn't a wishful experience”. Best lines: “obsessed / with being yourself when you could easily shift / to a different gear and be a songbird, a lark / or the mud clinging to the tires.” The steering wheel coming off is kinda dorky. Last line gives sense of confusion and hurt.

P • Kiria Delusional Kitty - Howl - Page 51
Poem is beautiful but needs clarity. Wonderful use of beat and rhyme but with little meaning. Despite this there does seem to be a central theme. Strong start; strong end. Yay for alliteration.

P • BirthdayPirate - Honolulu Suicide - Page 62
Form enhances tone: wistful. Clear progression or “story” revealed, very hard in a triolet. Cute and creepy.

• Mynnan - Euclid Missed the Boat - Page 24
Poem is a little hard on my ADD (which I don't really have). Suggest that sense of mystery could still be retained with some lines cut at the beginning of stanza ii, and possibly some changed or cut in iii. Very strong first stanza. Not sure the last is a strong enough ending, although the short length is good for a sense of finality. Love the story with the woman; puns and cleverness abound.

• Bane is on Fire! - Words - Page 25
Last stanza is blah. Worse line: “that night seems so windy in” Best line: “everyone is battered/alone in the sheltered/ice castles they made” Opening makes me giddy with happiness. Why “(and pristine are flowering)”? The rest of the ()s and []s are well done.

P • Lillian Ashe - School - Page 62
This poem has many great qualities but is inexplicably long. Just as a short poem has extra pressure to make every word perfect and in the perfect place, a long poem has the extra pressure of keeping attention. Organization may be able to remedy this without cutting much. For instance grouping and rearranging stanzas into “parts” or into separate poems. The way it is now, themes leap back and forth all over the place. Some metaphors are very creative and the timing of the lines (line breaks, word usage, and emphasis) are very good in many places. Stanzas, isolated, range from interesting to superb. I love the last stanza.

• Vespertine - Untitled: Introspection #3 - Page 13
The first line worried me, and I still don't see the point of “haft of an axe”, but I really liked the ensuing card-board box/package metaphor. The first line of the last stanza needs to be revamped. Going from styrofoam to hot slag was a little weird but the transition was helped by the interceding stanza.

25. • China_Doll - Poem - Page 28
This poem made me giggle. Weakest line: “which I must admit is true”. The last line made me laugh, too! This poem is simple and to the point.

P • DarkCloudsBurning - The Buzz isn't - Page 50
I like how the title is also part of the poem; it sets up the subject really well, too. The first stanza was better than the second. This poem is about noise, but it seems like there should be another theme to help tie it together. The computer part made me nod and smile, but the trailer part made me shrug.

P • Oxxidation8 - Superhighway - Page 111
Hehe, I love how people talk in this poem. It's so unrealistic, but the first stanza sets the mood for this appropriately. Accordingly, the first, second, and fourth stanzas are the best. The third seems like it's trying too hard, too convoluted with these different body parts all thrown in there for the hell of it. And then in the fifth it switches to the present and becomes simply dull. The road got eaten up, but who ate it? Finally we get to the last two lines which return to the original and superior mood and imagery of the beginning of the poem.

• Aged Cherry Twizzlers - Intoxicating birth sparkles - Page 25
Full of imagery, but the whole first stanza could be scraped as far as I'm concerned. The second and third are more clear-cut, concise, and focused. I liked the title.

P • Antifreeze Kisses - Arizona Wind - Page 77
You used the wrong it's/its in the first stanza! For shame! D: The first stanza sets the time of day, but I don't think that's needed. I would cut the whole first stanza and start with the stronger second stanza. You are focusing on one moment here but the first stanza takes away from that. The third stanza is le awesome and the conclusion is interesting.

P • Barboxacon - Fruits - Page 104
“After the rain” can probably be cut. You spelled bruising wrong. D: Structure within the lines was very good but the ideas may need more transition-- not sure about that, though. I like it short and wouldn't make it much longer.

P • Aldavar - My Neighbor - Page 46
This poem is short and sweet. I'm not sure what his mind is made up about, but the rest flows pretty well and the ending made me laugh and nod at the same time. The rhymes and over all construction are a bit simple.

P • triplenegative - Beyond your sin - Page 106
The weakest part may be “and I would laugh and cry” which is pretty dull compared to the rest of the poem. Also, “and as situation dictates” “where i began” “alone with why i can see you”. Generally, I liked your attempt at using e e cumming's poem even though I dislike most of his (not this one) and am leery of using other people's lines in your own work. The only thing I did not like is that I thought there should be more transition from the end of a stanza to the beginning of the next one.

P • ThinMick - - Page 124
Worst line: “And, ah, a mind I find quite like my own”. The best: “With eager eyes aswirl like corybants, / I genuflect at his impassioned glance”. In this case the simple rhyme scheme fits the playful subject matter, but many of the lines could have more substance. I suggest using words with more punch as in the last two lines.

P • Tim The Enchanter - Run Through The Jungle - Page 32
The “subject” of the poem is clear, but the point is not. The last stanza almost has a point but I'm not feeling it. In many places the beat of the poem is perfect, by the heroic couplet rhyming drones on and on so that it feels like the poem was written for the rhymes, not the rhymes for the poem.

P • Kiria Delusional Kitty - At A Distance - Page 59
This could be a much stronger poem once some of the weaker lines are cut, such as the second line. In these lines you are telling the reader what they already know from the surrounding lines. I suggest using more words like “bereft” and/or using fewer words over all. For instance: “I've never been too good at distance”. The last two lines are the best, but I would consider using something other than “honey”, because that is sweet.

P • lupusaeth - One Night Stand - Page 111
What's up with that first line, eh? All the other lines have buddies, or punctuation, or more natural grammatical constructions. The middle three stanzas have a nice parallel construction, but then you go from metaphor and “showing” to “telling.” I think you could get a better effect by keeping only the middle three stanzas and changing the title to “leaving?”.

• [-E r i n n-] - ELF MEETS LOVE - Page 23
This poem shows talent but is a little too stilted. One reason is because of the period at the end of every line. It feels like you put lines on lottery balls and then wrote them down in whatever order they came up (except that they happen to rhyme). You could do without some of the inverted grammar such as in the third line. This poem desperately needs to flow! The story itself has promise but peters out with out any purpose.

It's not a book, it's a screenplay.

And you're the one that keeps distracting me with wolverines and such nonsense...

Indeed!

But may I ask why it's the LAST HURRAH?