SAMPLES.

[warwick avenue b]

(: yeah.

[warwick avenue b]

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⊱ henry oliver gold ⊰

we don't allow ourselves to know the obvious.

He sat there on the ground, pressed against a wall and his shoes covered in what appeared to be pizza. He had seen the girl who dropped it. A woman he assumed to be the girls mother was calling out her name and she was scared so she dropped it and he, in an attempt to find shelter, has stepped in it. There was an undead creature chasing him at that point. He nearly fell as he sought out the store. He knew it was the only place with weapons.

Henry rubbed his shoes on the carpeted flooring and stared at the marks his converse had made against the ground. A sigh escaped his lips and he sat up against the wall. He furrowed his brow and shuffled his fingers through his short, brown hair. It was the governments fault. Obviously. They couldn't control themselves when it came to new inventions and attempting to beat the opposition but they took it too far. The dead were roaming the mall and looking for any human they could find. He couldn't believe this s**t. How could they take it this far? He placed his head between his head as he tried to rationalize why he didn't foresee this. But he couldn't.

Henry had always been viewed as a nut. He was often cooped up in his bedroom or at the library searching for anything he could find on this bullshit as government. He was determined to catch someone's hand in the cookie jar. He was sure everything that was going on was because of them. That's why he eyed one of the men so closely. He'd seen him on one of his walks around a government controlled building. With his fancy suit, shiny shoes and sneaky eyes. But Henry kept his mouth shut. Outing him would be later. Right now, they needed an explain plan.

He was alone. Well, not really alone. He didn't know these people and besides being held up in the store he wouldn't have looked at them twice. Except the government leech. He'd keep his eyes on him. His eyes shifted around the room and he scanned all of the rugged faces. Three females and two males. The fear showed in their eyes. It was to be expected. After all there were ******** zombies walking around the mall, killing people. But waiting on help was useless. Nobody was coming to save them. They'd have to do it themselves.

Standing to his feet, he cleared his throat. He crossed the room and headed over to the counter. His eyes landed on a display case. Inside were knives. They were placed so delicately in their own little shelves. They were all oblivious to what was going on beyond the sealed doors of the store. He scanned the counter and settled on three knives. They appeared to be sturdy yet easy to maneuver. Perfect.

"s**t, here goes nothing." He spoke to himself before slamming his fist into the glass. He mentally cursed himself as he pulled his hand from the shattered glass. Although his fist was shielded by his sleeve he still felt the sharp pain of the glass when it hit his hand. He grunted and shook the pain off. His eyes scanned the room and he shrugged at their faces. He placed his hand inside of the display case and grabbed the knives. He ran his fingers against their seemingly sharp blades before grabbing a messenger bag. He scanned the price and smirked, "I'll pay for that later." He joked as he slid the knives into the bag and looked around the room. He wasn't sure why he was preparing himself for battle. Deep down he knew he wouldn't do anything. S**t, as long as a zombie didn't approach him he wouldn't do s**t. He couldn't speak for everyone else inside of the store nor what he would do for them or what they would do for him in the moment of need. Their world was all messed up.

The way he saw it, every man (and woman) for themselves.

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[warwick avenue b]

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⊱ henry oliver gold ⊰

we don't allow ourselves to know the obvious.

Henry looked around the room at his peers. He cringed a bit after the woman grabbed his hand and examined his fist. She clearly was some time of doctor. Henry swallowed hard before he turned to the store clerk. She scolded him and demanded that he pay for the items he had just slipped into the bag. He scoffed and leaned against the glass container, his eyes moved over to the man who seemed a bit more ready and pumped up than everyone in the room. He was speaking about Henry snatching the knives. Henry rolled his eyes at the girl and wondered why they were still on the topic. "Well, obviously you work here," He cleared his throat and adjusted his height. "We have too much on our hands for you to be worrying about me paying about three hundred dollars for some goddamned knives!" Henry nearly shouted. He sunk back into the soles of his converses and he closed his eyes. "If we survive this 'thing', whatever it is, you can send me the bill." His eyes drifted off the man who was smirking at the ordeal. He grimaced as his eyes rolled over to the Asian girl sitting on her computer. He looked down at his hand and noticed it's crimson color. "If you saw me walk over here you could've gave me the damn key." Henry muttered to himself.

He crossed the room, leaving the scene of the crime, and settling beside a case of books. He sat down on one of the pillows and looked once again around the room. Before he had sat down the man was now helping himself. He was going after the long swords. The s**t looked like Kill Bill. Everyone was too damn calm, as if this was a regular day in this boring a** town. He was confused. There were flesh eating creatures outside and they were locked inside of this store. He pressed the back of his head into the wall and looked down at his hand. It'd get better, hopefully. His head jumped after he heard a rather large banging against the gate. His eyes widened at the appearance of a large man with blood streaming down his face. Henry pushed himself closer into the hall and pulled one of the knives from his pocket. He stood up and looked at one of the men who seemed to be relaxed but as if he had a secret. Henry looked back at the gate and stepped away from his original spot. He walked over to the counter as the brunette was walking back from the back room. Henry gave her a soft smile as she dropped an axe and a gun. His eyes rolled over to the guy that was taller than him and he saw him eye the gun before realizing the girls comment.

Henry definitely wasn't a strong person. He didn't pretend to be but be definitely knew how to defend him. He scrunched his nose up as he lifted up the axe. He then turned around and turned to the Asian girl who was in the room and the obvious doctor. "You guys should get some weapons." Before Henry turned all the way around and his eyes focused on the man who was still sitting in the corner. He still had his nose turned up to everyone. Henry shook his head before turning back around. He eyed the clock, which was still going. He then stared down at his watch. "We've gotta get out of here. Those generators can't hold this place for long and those things," he pointed towards the gate at the zombies forming. "have nothing but time and are waiting for the opportunity to come in here and kill us all." Henry moved away from the counter and headed over to a wall where there was Asian inspired everyday items. He grabbed a water bottle and slipped it into his bag and then grabbed a few lighters. He tried to scan his memory to wonder if Zombies were afraid of fire. He shook his head mentally, s**t, that was Frankenstein. He smiled softly to himself as he slipped the lighters into his bag.

He felt his hand slip against the balls velco strap and his sleeve get stuck. The pain as his hand scratched against the rough was a stressful. He looked up at the doctor and then at the sales clerk. "You wouldn't happen to own any ice packs in here?" The bruise wasn't crimson anymore but rather a soft hue of purple. He grimaced at the look of the bruise and cursed himself for trying to be daring. The soft whispers of someone in the room startled him. He looked up and over at the small girl who still seemed stuck. He nodded, after taking a few moments to realize exactly what she was saying. He stepped towards a row of miscellaneous items and leaned against the pole. "Do you have anything in mind?" He questioned her, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

If they needed a plan, they needed to know exactly what was going on. Besides knowing the government's involvement and that zombies were roaming the store they were isolated inside. Outside was probably worse but it was worth the try. Henry shifted his height and stopped chewing on the inside of his cheek. The thoughts of his girlfriend drifted into his brain. He was scared or her. He wondered if she was in the mall or still at the dentist. He looked around the room and once again at the clock. Time was slowing down. He couldn't understand it. Maybe it was his own thoughts that were limiting him. He let the thoughts slip out and he looked around the room. "While we're here, I think it's only right we introduce ourselves. We are stuck in this together." He immediately stared at the main suspect in the room. "I'm Henry. He stared at the other people in the room and then at his feet.

Somebody had to get the conversation moving.

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[warwick avenue b]

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⊱ henry oliver gold ⊰

〔 open your mind to the unknown. 〕

Henry looked up and felt the woman grab his hand and wrap it. He gave her a warm smile and nodded, "Thanks," He scrunched his face a bit at the soft pain and shook it off mentally. When she introduced herself as Acacia he smiled. He knew he had heard that name before. And after her was the man sitting in the corner. His name was Casper. He raised his eyebrow when the man offered an eyebrow. Henry shifted his height a bit at an attempt to assume dominance but it wasn't helping. It was true Henry wasn't the strongest nor toughest but he was fast. He was fast and quick on his feet. He'd gotten away from bullies plenty of times. That's when the clerk spoke. Her red locks sort of intrigued him. Henry's girlfriend had long red hair that cascaded down her back. Cynthia.

Henry looked at his phone once he caught the girls name as Hester. She proceeded to give a statement about finding their way out of the store and into more stores. It was good plan but that meant they'd have to venture out and away from the small sanctuary they were provided. He realized he was staring at his phone again and typed Cynthia's name in. He pressed it against his ear and heard the rings on the other end. That's when the phone went dead. Henry continued to press her name and listen to the dial tone. He repeated this process numerous times before he concluded the worst. She was dead. His heart ached and he leaned on the counter for mental support.

Henry was snapped out of his thoughts as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He wished that it was Cynthia calling. To at least confirm she was alive and not a zombie. But it wasn't. He slipped his phone out and unlocked the screen. His father, the source of his paranoia, had text him a site and a few words of encouragement. His parents were vacationing in Europe and he hoped and prayed they weren't dealing with what was happening in Maryland. Henry's heart warmed a bit at the thought of his father being alive. He was bit disappointed that he recieved a text and not a call. His father didn't know how long they had before Henry was killed. If he was killed. Nevertheless, he clicked the link and a countdown was displayed as well as a few videos of zombie attacks. He grimaced at the videos and continued scrolling. In big bold letters there it was, "THE GOVERNMENT IS TO BLAME. BEWARE OF THE OUTSIDE. TROOPS AREN'T COMING. STAY INSIDE." That had to be false. The troops were practically living here. That just wasn't possible. They had to be coming.

Henry bit his bottom lip. He wasn't one to withhold vital information but he didn't know for sure what was going on. While they were cooped up inside of the store the city was probably destroyed and overrun by zombies. The mall was. Henry heard the last bit of Hester's words and he headed back over to the group. He nodded and looked around the store. He headed back towards the gate and looked out at the zombies standing there. They were ripping the parts of a mans chest. He felt a turkey sandwich starting to rise in his throat before he leaned on his other foot. He closed his eyes and opened them when he felt they were finished. He eyed the malls internal map. There was a list of all the stores and the different levels they were on. Henry's thoughts began to consume him as he wondered which stores could be their supplier.

There was store that sold camping gear, box cutters and other items. Henry was honestly a bit weary about being that close to a zombie where he'd have to slice them with a sharp blade. He scratched that idea way. Then there was Subway. As far as he was concerned the zombies were already there and spreading disease. Unless they had found proof that the food was sterile and untouched he wouldn't be eating thing from there. He couldn't think of anything else as his thoughts were interrupted by the rattling of the gate.

Henry stepped back and looked out at the zombie which was attempting to get inside. His eyes were cold and soulless. His order was worse. His shirt was covered in the blood of his victim and his hands stained with sadness. Henry once again returned to the little group. "There's a gun range a couple of miles from here. If they're experiencing the same thing as we are I'm pretty sure we can get the guns easily and make our way to government soil or another protected area. The army should be coming." His mind pictured the website and noted that if the government didn't come it was because of them. Nobody shows up to a disaster they created. Henry was unsure about whether or not he government would send them their relief. He was hopeful but still cautious. He didn't trust Casper, he had the mannerisms of a government agent and that wasn't going to fly with Henry. No, not at all.

☠ escape into the abyss and don't look back.

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[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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Carlee sat in the seat beside her mother. She tapped her foot against the hardwood floors inside of the head shrinks office. She listened as her mother was being told about Carlee's 'condition'. Carlee wrinkled her nose as she heard her mother sniffling and dabbing a napkin against her fake tears. Carlee had seen this too many times before. She's lying. She thought in her head and leaned up in the chair. She stood up when her mother did and leaned to shake the counselor a had. Carlee gave a soft, awkward smile as she headed out of the office with her mother. She picked up the duffle bag she had brought with her and walked behind her. Once her mother, Elizabeth, stopped in the corridor Carlee followed suit. She stepped back as she stared at her mother. "Don't tell any lies while you're here. I won't have people talking about us in the neighborhood. As far as anyone is concerned you fainting was because of the heat and you're out with some family." Carlee mentally cursed her mother but nodded to keep her cool. "I really did like your hair long." Elizabeth said, touching the tips of Carlee's red, pixie cut. She gave her mother an awkward, unnecessary hug and watched as she put her glasses on and exited the building.

There was no "I love you's" or "Get better's" from her mom. She just wasn't that person. In the beginning, when dad was home, she was a wonderful person and extremely beautiful but now she was evil and cold. The once long and curly brown hair was changed to blond and her skin was tightened and tanned. She forgot who she was often. When Carlee's father had left she needed anything to feel the void. With the large alimony checks she received from Carlee's father she would be set until she got remarried and she wasn't going for that so she was engaged but forced her children to view the man as their step-dad. Carlee disagreed and called the man his name. Steven. Carlee had never liked Steven but loved the beautiful brothers he had given her. Christopher and Morgan. Her family was awkward but close at the same time. She found herself making dinners and creating movie nights for herself and her brothers. She wouldn't be there for long so she needed all the time she could with them.

Carlee's illness as explained by the doctor was bulimia and obsessive compulsive disorder. She needed perfection: physically and materialistically. Her mother had pushed her for it, along with Steven. They wanted her to be a doctor and pay for their lavish lifestyles. Her father's money was beginning to leave and Steven had no intent of letting go and getting a job. Elizabeth definitely was up to it so they pushed her. Carlee had to be beautiful, hence the long hair. Her grades had to be absolutely perfect and she had to be dedicated and social. But she couldn't maintain all. She cut off herself from the outside world and focused on getting a scholarship and making it into John Hopkins. But when the acceptance letter came back as rejected her mother and Steven were furious. Carlee was blamed and that's when she did it. She emptied her stomach to where it burned when she drank water. She couldn't eat. Just drink.

That night before the speech she purged herself clean. Nothing but water. When she walked onto the stage and all of the bright lights hit her face. The seniors needed encouragement before they went on their trip to Paris. She was just that person and the school knew it so she was chosen to give a quick, reassuring speech to the parents and students. But as she read the words began to slip off the page and runaway with the rest of her thoughts. She lost her footing and fainted. When she woke up a day later she was at hospital and being pumped with food. She immediately detached the machine and rushed into the bathroom and that's when a nurse found her with her face buried beneath the seat. The food down the toilet and the burning sensation was returning. Tears brimmed at her eyes before she stood up and told her story.

"Miss, your room is that way." A woman pointed down the hallway and to the left for Carlee. She nodded and followed her instructions. She slipped inside of the room and tossed her bag onto the empty bed. She assumed she would be entertaining a roommate so she slid out of her brown cardigan and black slacks and dressed herself in a pair of sweats and a white tank. She needed to be loose. If she were to feel tight, she'd feel fat. It was Carlee logic as far as she was concerned. She removed a blue spreadsheet from her bag and pulled it over the edges of the couch. She continued to fix her side of the room with pictures of her baby brothers and her grandma and also a picture of her father and she a few years ago. She missed those days when it was just them and no one else.

Carlee felt the burning sensation that was all too familiar. The up-chuck. It was involuntary. Her own body had become so accustomed to it, it actually instructed her to release. Carlee sat up in her bed and wiped her cheek. She rubbed her stomach and closed her eyes. People thought she was pregnant in the beginning and she blamed it on a stomach bug but now they knew the truth. She stood to her feet and headed for the door. She could taste the eggs and sausage she had ate this morning mixed with blue tea. She pulled the knob open and looked out at the rather tall girl standing on the other side of it. From the pictures she had scanned on the other side of the room, it was her roommate. Carlee stepped back to allow her to enter.

"Um, I'm Carlee." She said, softly, her green eyes darting to the ground. She had always been shy. Even around her family. She was the reserved one. The one who couldn't speak up. "I'm your new roommate." Carlee spoke, lifting her head up. She gave the girl a polite smile and looked into the hallway. Her destination had to be somewhere down that way. It seemed so close yet so far.

[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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"I'm Kelly. Kelly Turner, actually. You can call me whatever you want." The girl before, Carlee smiled and headed into the room. Carlee stood at the door, closing it behind her. Before she had walked to her bed, Carly had already evaluated her. Her tall figure, those brown eyes and that dark brown hair. Carlee's hair was long once. But wanting to get out of the image of perfection, she cut it. It made her feel dirty and undesirable. Her first meeting with counselor at her school had pretty much disproved her idea. But nevertheless, Carlee continued to cut it. She felt no need for long red curls anymore. That was childish. When the girl had entered, Carlee's initial plan was interrupted. She sunk herself into her new bed and looked at her hands before Kelly spoke, "I like your haircut, Carlee. Can I call you Lee? It's so much shorter." Carlee found herself running her fingers through her hair and smiling a bit. She nodded before she cleared her throat to speak. "Yeah, Lee's fine." Carlee played with a lock of her hair that was longer than the others around it. She bit her bottom lip as the awkwardness seemed to settle into the room.

Carlee wondered if the girl had heard her. She chewed attentively on the inside of her cheek and looked onward at her feet. She noticed she still had her shoes on on. She kicked the shoes off and stared at her brown socks. Instead of a full rounded sock, little toe-glove things were installed. She wiggled her toes and rested her head on her knees. She looked back up at the girl and pushed her back to the headboard. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Carlee whispered, but raised her voice towards the end of her sentence. She found her eyes caressing the girls cheek bones and analyzing her beautiful eyes.

Imperfections. Lesbianism is imperfect. Being with a woman is imperfect. You have to be perfect. Carlee had told herself this on countless occasions. Particularly, in gym, while surrounded by naked females in the changing room. She'd find herself staring at girl and quickly move her eyes towards the ground. She had dated boys, sure, but they didn't, well, do it for her. She never say herself as being the type to marry a guy or be wrapped around in their arms. It didn't feel right. She often thought it was herself because she wasn't perfect, just yet. Her mother even tried to fix her up but it wasn't worth it. The boys found Carlee unsatisfying and quiet. That was fine with Carlee. She didn't mind it. She actually preferred it. She hated the rushed conversations and the awkward goodnight kisses. She never felt like it was needed. Carlee started paying attention to girls when she first started purging herself. The seemed so beautiful. And simple. She wanted to feel that beauty and to at least get to touch it, even if it was for a moment. She wanted to feel a woman's love. She had a mommy complex.

When Carlee revealed to her grandmother what she had been doing, she didn't stop crying. She was so sad which made Carlee cry too. Nobody every understood what it was like to feel so much pressure that you can barely remember when you ate or when it's time to eat. She disliked looking down and watching her waist shrink but it was necessary. If she wasn't full or tired she would be able to do so much more work. And that's when she realized sleep didn't matter either. Carlee had begun taking pills after her first trip to the hospital. She hated the idea of losing so many precious hours. Time was important. She needed to know how long she had gone without food. Well, not anymore. The people who ran the center who so sure they'd get her to eat soon. She doubted it. She only ate when it was deemed absolutely necessary. She snuck food in her sleeves and even hid bread in her stockings. But that was the past and now she was starting to work towards the future. She didn't want to sadden her grandma, after all if she was discharged from the center that would be the first place she was going to go.

Carlee slipped out of her own thoughts and stepped out of her bed. She picked up her duffle bag and began to unpack her little things. She brought a picture of her brothers, a picture of her grandma and her teddy bear Wilson. He was her protector from evil. But he didn't protect her against herself. She settled back on the bad and tucked the bag underneath. She folded her legs against the bed and stared over at Kelly. "Do they let us leave this place? Like to go out and hang with friends?" It was an unnecessary question. Carlee didn't have 'friends'. She secluded herself towards the beginning of the school year. She needed focus and no interruptions. She couldn't deal with the going out to movies or to eat. That time was spent collecting hours of servitude. She needed that community service to prove she was good college material and she was well rounded. She hid her secrets and helped the people who needed it. There were several occasions where she'd been caught throwing up by some of the homeless people. They assumed it was because of their smell or she was pregnant. She shrugged it off with a laugh.

Carlee knew she had a problem but she couldn't help it. It was involuntary now. Her body released the contents itself. The shrink talked about control and dominance but Carlee knew of no such thing. As far as she was concerned it was apart of her now. It was all she could think about doing if she wasn't doing it.

[warwick avenue b]

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⊱ henry oliver gold ⊰

〔 open your mind to the unknown. 〕

Henry was a bit taken back by Sid's comment but he let it slide. Adding more drama to the situation was not needed and Henry knew how to pick and chose his battles; and this one was not his. He slumped into the soles of his shoes and listened to the other people talk. His hand was throbbing, which he obviously didn't suspect would happen. He couldn't rub it because of the bandage Acacia had wrapped around it. He looked down at his hand and then back at the glass. Maybe they were right... Ha, no. It was in the heat of the moment and of course he was going to panic. s**t, there were ******** zombies outside of the damn gate. He calmed himself as he listened to the rest of them speak. Sid spoke about the gun range an Henry quickly understood why. The way Sid had been eyeing the gun made it clear. Sid was an avid member of the NRA. He had to be. Then came the question of the government and his words were harsh and directed towards Casper.

Henry smirked a bit as he leaned against a wall. He knew it. He arched his nose up and made a little note in his head. He knew it. He then turned his attention to Acacia who piped in for defense of Casper. Henry frowned a bit, internally. He was beginning to like Acacia. But now. He questioned himself. Was his judgement of people really beginning to weaken. He shook his thoughts off as Casper stood up for himself. He then went further to insult Acacia.

As quickly as the drama had arised, it seemed to die down. But Henry wasn't going to let Casper get away that easy, "She was only simply trying to help," Henry chimed in, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you are with them. You're probably behind this whole ideal," Henry scoffed and stood up straight, attempting to make himself taller. "I've seen you a walking into one of their buildings. You know something. And believe it or not, you're obligated to tell us. 'Cause at the end of the day, they aren't protecting you. You're in here cooped up with some ******** civilians while they're probably on their way to healthy town. One with no ******** zombies!" Henry hadn't noticed himself screaming. His anger was combined with the sadness over his girlfriends possible death and with the fact that he knew he might be dying soon. He wasn't the strongest but he was fast. But what if the zombies were faster.

He didn't relize he was clutching one of the faux knives until he felt the sting in his hand. It didn't draw blood but it left his hand a bit red. He dropped the small dagger and looked around the room. The five other people he was surrounded by looked rough. And distressed. They had to leave the store before something chaotic happened. Henry's anger toward the government and Casper wouldn't be concealed much longer. But he couldn't just leave without hearing the truth so he settled back against the wall and stared off at Casper and the other four in the room. "So tell us, Cas," Henry mocked his name, "What is your involvement in this s**t?"

ooc: really short but I wanted to post before the holidays.

☠ escape into the abyss and don't look back.

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[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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Carlee smiled at the girl. She even examined the picture of her when she was younger. She looked so happy but then again she understood the sadness hidden behind her eyes. She looked over at an attempt to search for the scars on her arms. She rubbed her own and thought about the pain of piecing her flesh. She had always been scared of self mutilation so she shied away from that part of self harm. She figured damaging her insides was easier. There would be no slip ups of someone catching a glimpse of her wrists and no chances of actually killing herself instantly. She preferred a slow sort of internal damnation. She gave Kelly a soft smile and sat up closer to the bed.

Kelly mentioned the fact that they would have to be escorted around the city. Carlee was a bit unsure about that. Where would she go? Who would she see? Well, besides her grandma. She didn't want to see anyone at her school. She figured she'd embarrassed herself enough. Maybe she'd go shopping for bigger clothing. She wanted to fool the people at the 'center'. But she knew it wouldn't work. With an escort there'd be no chance of that. She'd been informed about a weigh-in d sorts. She guessed when the time came for herself to be weighed, she'd begin eating. Carlee was disgusted with her own thoughts. She was mentally making notes on how she'd lie to the very people who were attempting to help her. She couldn't. She would force herself to get better if she had to.

She was engrossed in ber own thoughts until the question of why she was here came into mind. She bit her bottom lip and placed her arms around her stomach. She weighed her options of lying to Kelly. Saying she was an alcoholic or drug addict. They seemed so much better than her own condition. More serious and less complicated. She scoffed, mentally and shook her head. She was actually comparing her own condition to other peoples. She was sick. She was going to be sick. As of automatically she felt the vomit begin to rise inside of her throat. She swallowed hard in an attempt to force the puke back down her throat. She took a deep breath and forced a smile.

"I'm, um, I'm like you. Anorexic and an insomniac. I guess the insomnia branched off of my need to starve myself for perfection. It was never for the beauty that I felt I'd get." She lied to Kelly but mostly to herself. "I needed to be the best and get the best grades and I couldn't sleep. Food makes you sleepy. And sleep didn't make me focus. So, I took pills to stay up and ate as little as I could. Carlee took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. She hadn't realized she was tugging at the hem of her bed cover. Carlee bit her bottom lip and placed her hands in her lap. "I probably sound incredibly pathetic. I've never told anyone the truth. They assume it's for my image and to obtain beauty or for attention and that was never the case." Carlee looked over at Kelly and offered her a soft smile. She then looked at the door when she heard the sudden turn of the knob.

A woman opened the door and poked her head inside. She had long brown curls and bright green eyes. Carlee's eyes rolled down to her shirt and saw the words volunteer. She immediately adverted her eyes. "It's dinner time." She seemed to stay until she saw that they were both interested. Carlee smiled softly and slid out of her bed. She put her shoes back and on and headed towards the door. "Do we all eat dinner together? She pointed her question to Kelly as she headed out of the bedroom and down the hallway which led towards the huge dining area. She hadn't been here for long but she had a quick viewing of the building. Three floors and they were all decorated with lavish kitchens. She figured it was encourage the girls there to eat. She looked around the dining room at the different faces of girls. They all looked healthy and bright. Carlee covered her waist and headed to a seat at the end of the table.

Then her eyes stared at the table. There was so much food. It was healthy aside from the meat. Two chickens. Carlee had never been a big fan of meat. She despised the idea of an animal dying just to fulfill her appetite. She would of course be eating the salad and the other vegetables. She looked at Kelly and found herself a seat and the one beside it was empty.

[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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Carlee looked at the girls around her. They were busy with their conversations and full plates. Carlee grabbed a spoon and poured some green salad onto her plate. She stared at the leaves and tomatoes as they lay delicately on her plate. They looked so beautiful sitting there like they didn't want to be eaten. Carlee had often made up reasons why not to eat food when was living with her mother and step-father. She'd give the meat little voices and pretend her vegetables were adorable bouquets of flowers that belonged to a gorgeous garden. Carlee was often the princess who wouldn't betray nature. Carlee smiled at the thought and crossed her legs beneath the table. The pretending was when she was home. That was when she needed to be the best. Now, she had to work on Carlee. But the obsessed girl inside of her wouldn't let her. She picked up some pasta and forked it into her plate. She followed Kelly in her motions. She then picked up a bottle of Italian dressing and poured it onto her salad. She grabbed a few pieces of bread and placed them onto a napkin. She then lathered small slices of butter onto the bread.

It took Carlee ten minutes to work up enough courage to actually pile salad onto her fork and force it into her mouth. She smiled at Kelly as she placed her hand over we mouth and continued to chew. She felt her body already beginning to reject the food. Her throat was forcing closing but she held onto the seat beneath her as if she was struggling with herself. Once she swallowed, she picked up her glass and swallowed the water. Carlee tugged her fork around the pasta and swirled it. She hated to admit it but the food felt so good as it began to fill her stomach. She then stopped and smiled when Kelly stated she was only waiting for Carlee. She was already done with her food as were many of the girls who were now gone. It was only Kelly, Carlee, the counselors and about three other girls sitting at the table. Carlee worked the fork up to her mouth and captured the pasta with her tongue. She closed her mouth as she chewed. She knew the carbs were already traveling down her body and packing up against her stomach. And she resented herself.

Carlee continued to push food around the plate and even took a few bites of her bread with butter. She hasn't tasted butter in a while and was now enjoying herself. But she stopped. The plate was almost empty and once she realized it, she gasped. She swallowed the food that was already in her mouth and grabbed her glass. She took a rather large sip and set the cup down. "Thanks for the lovely dinner." Carlee pushed her chair back and stood to her feet. Carlee rubbed the crumbs from her hands onto her sees pants. She bit her bottom lip as she headed for the bedroom Kelly and her shared. When she entered, she grabbed a towel and her pajamas almost instantly. While eating she had created her own plan on losing the food she had recently placed into her stomach. She felt the fat beginning to rise against her bones and she couldn't breathe for a moment. She kept her eyes on the ground as she headed for the door once again, "I'm going to go shower." She lied. She felt stupid for lying. She was already creating terrible webs of deceit and she hasn't even known her for that long. She escaped out of the bedroom before Kelly could voice her own opinion or talk her out of her plan. Kelly had been like her once. She probably knew all of the tricks in the book. Carlee blocked her thoughts out of her mind and escaped into the patient bathroom. She rushed into one of the stalls.

Carlee's head hung over the toilet and the stench of vinegar filled her nose. Her hands clutched the base of the toilet and tears ran down her cheeks. Why was it so hard to stop? People made it sound so easy. Just keep eating. But it wasn't that simple. Whenever she ate. She felt fat and disgusting and imperfect. And she had to lose that. She leaned back from the toilet and flushed the contents down the drain. She stood to her feet and picked the towel up with her. She headed from the stall and wiped her mouth with a wet paper towel. She rubbed her cheek bones and headed to one of the shower stalls.

Stepping inside of the shower, after undressing, she felt the full power of the hot shower. The water made hot beads against her skin and she cleansed herself. Tears pushed at the brims of her eyes and she allowed them to flow. She ran her fingers through her hair as she allowed the steam to consume and overpower her. The flash acts of her family's judgmental eyes, her step-fathers invading hands and the pleas of her grandmother. Her mother was once her protector but no longer. She had a damaged home life. She escaped to a place where her grandma hoped would be safe. But it was impossible. Wherever Carlee was, she seemed to break it. Make it harder for everyone around and she want to do that. She just wanted peace. She craved perfection. She stared down at her bulging ribs and pulled a cotton sweater over her body and then her underwear and next her thick pajama pants. She stared at herself in the mirror before someone entered. Carlee quickly grabbed her things and escaped from the bathroom and down the hall. She could feel their eyes as she dashed into her bedroom.

Her eyes immediately fell on Kelly and she felt dirty and guilty. She stuffed her dirty clothes into a hamper and slid onto her bed. Her eyes never moved from the spot they were fixated in; her jeans. A size zero. She had shrunk in the matter of months. She didn't want to admit it but she desired a curvaceous body. Much like Kelly's but with her illness that was impossible. She pulled her blanket onto her body and slid against the headboard. "I don't think I'll go to desert," Carlee told her roommate. I'll probably end up throwing that up too. She thought, tugging at a cloud on her blanket. "I just want to sleep."

[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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Kelly spoke, offering a little relief on what she was 'missing'. She had assumed it wasn't much but even whole idea of dessert sort of made her queasy. She wasn't a big fan of sweets. She didn't like the lingering sugary taste it left behind. Then Carlee was startled, Kelly made a joke anout how she wasn't like other teenagers. In a way, she reallt wasn't. She didn't go to parties, no drinking and no smoking. That damaged your insides. And damaged insides made for imp- you already know. But then Kelly touched her forehead she felt soft tingles and bit her bottom lip to discourage her own thoughts. She gave a welcoming smile before Kelly palmed her cheeks and rested settled herself on Lee's bed. Lee had never been that close to someone. Well, besides her younger brothers. She never considered contact as a good thing. But she enjoyed having the brunette sitting in front of her in her bed. It was exciting. It was nice. Carlee felt the need to dish out secrets and tell her own little gossip. But she had none. And this wasn't a sleep over. This was her own little camp. A home away from home. As her mother had put it. Carlee looked up and shook her head at Kelly when she offered to stay, "No, no, you should go. I don't want to hold you back." She said, quietly. She licked her lips, tasting the vomit against her tongue. She resented herself and leaned from the bed and grabbed a breath mint. Popping it into her mouth, she leaned back on the bed. She straightened her back against the wood and weaved her fingers. "That is, unless you insist." Carlee wasn't really in the mood to be alone and Kelly could be the replacement for her grandma.

Carlee's situation seemed complicated and confusing. She starved herself to obtain perfection in every aspect. She didn't sleep in order to put no limits on the things she accomplish in 24 hours. And she did this because of her mother and step father. But that wasn't it. She was abused. In the sense of the word. Mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually. It was all at the hands of her step-father. Of course it was a secret Carlee wasn't just ready to admit yet. She needed more time to get to know her situation and to get healthy before she broke apart the only home she had ever known. That'd come later. Surely. It wasn't as if she didn't have many opportunities. She just wasn't focused on it. She didn't have time to mope and cry about step-dad's hands wandering to places they shouldn't have been. He was doing something her father wasn't. Two different things. No one knew. Not even her grandma. She felt it break her heart and lead her mother into depression. But she also felt her mother wouldn't believe her and would stay with him. Carlee hated to admit it but she knew she was the last priority of her mothers but her biggest accomplishment. Carlee was an excellent student and was on her way to brilliant things. And her mother insisted in riding her coattails. Her form of love was a new computer and new printing ink. For her studies, of course. She sympathized for her mother often. A man who had gave her, her first child was off playing house with someone else and her knew husbad was attempting to play house with her daughter. How amazing.

Carlee sighed, having to remind herself that air was needed to survive. She had done this countless times before. She looked up at Kelly and tucked a nonexistent piece of hair behind her ear. She wished her long hair was still there. She needed something to hide her tears. Now it was just open face and clear flaws. She offered a gentle smile to Kelly before she opened her mouth to speak, "I'm pretty sure you know why I ran to the restroom." Carlee spoke, barely above a whisper. "Sometimes it just happens. Like, I can't even control it anymore and I know I have to work on that. It becomes too much to hold in. All of the pain I have and on top of that, food. It sounds stupid when I say it aloud but in my head," She sighed, pulling her legs from beneath the blanket. "In my head it all makes sense. The reason why I do this to myself. The reason why I can't form a bond with a guy." She questioned her own self at the last part. She didn't like males. She didn't know how long she'd deny it aloud but inside it was true. Her step father made sure she would never be able to love another man besides her brothers. He f-cked it up. Carlee took another deep breath and looked up at Kelly. "I wanna give up but the perfectionist inside of me wants things to go smoothly and everything to go as planned. I'm not supposed to steer off my course." She reminded herself, aloud. She shrunk into the bed. "How'd you survive it?" Carlee asked, before adding: "If you don't mind me asking."

Carlee didn't know if she could continue. The effects of her illness was terrible. She no longer had a regular period and the headaches she experienced were terrible. But luckily, her teeth were still healthy. She pulled her knees closer to her chest and rested her head onto her kneecaps as she waited for Kelly's response.

[warwick avenue b]

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CARLEE DANIELLE PETERS

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All of the sadness that began to pour of Kelly almost made Carlee break down into tears. Her heart couldn't handle it. It seemed as if it had been losing weight at the same rate Carlee was. Lee relaxed her legs and leaned over so she could place her hand on Kelly's. She was halfway through her story and was explaining how she counted down to her evaluations. Carlee forced a smile as she saw the tears attempting to force themselves from the brims of Kelly's eyes. The way she spoke was in a relieved tone. Carlee was unfortunately causing her to remember the pain. And when she stopped, offering her words of care at the end, Carlee couldn't help but feel her heart race and her cheeks nearly break into a grin. She removed her hand from Kelly's but continued to smile. "You're a strong person." Carlee said, before swallowing back the tears that were attempting to slide down her cheeks. Carlee secretly wished someone had noticed before the revelation. If they had, maybe she wouldn't be in the center. She's be with her little brothers or on her way to the library. So many possibilities. But no. She was here. Having to relive her issues that almost consumed her. Kelly had already began to make her feel welcome, though. It hadn't been twelve hours but she knew the girl would be her diary away from home. Kelly would eventually end up being her place of comfort in an unfamiliar place. At least she hoped. That is if she didn't get pushed up a floor.

As far as she was concerned the people on the third floor were battling STD's, rape, and personal tragedies. Her own problems didn't compare to that. Except for the abuse. She was afraid she'd get moved to the third floor so as for now, maybe until her roommate moved, she continue to stay on the second floor. She'd attempt to make a few friends and then leave. That was the best way. I wanted it. I didn't scream. I didn't moan. I let it happen. He told me I was beautiful. He commented on my thin frame. He threatened my family's safety. Mom would believe him over me. You're alone. Carlee remembered all of the times she had forced herself to believe his words. She didn't want to tell her mom. She couldn't. It wasn't as easy as it sounded in health class. But that was when she was seven. And Dad was still a little part of her life. She knew he would protect her from anything. She occasionally herself crying on the bathroom floor wondering why he left and why he qasnmt there to protect her. She didn't blame him though. Carlee was fourteen when he stopped. She had been taken to the hospital for her physical. Her hymen was broken. Her mother didn't look at her for a week. She remembered the look of disgust in her eyes on the ride home. And all she could think about was outing him. Telling the truth about it all but she couldn't. You can't break up the only home you know. But you're damaged. Maybe the abuse led her, blindly, into being bulimic.

Bulimic. The first time she had said it to herself. Bulimia and aneroxia were things that happened to fat girls. Not petite girls who were beautiful. She was missing one part though. She'd been researching the affects of excessive vomiting and came across the word. She was prone to mood swings, of course she had poor self image, she had frequent heart burn and couldn't sleep. The doctor told her she needed immediate care if she wanted to get better. So there were the pills. One to make her sleep. And another to make her eat. If she didn't eat, they'd be force to feed her through a tube. She was a minor apparently and it was up to her parents what would happen to her body. But why didn't they feel what she felt. The divorce. The perfection. The abuse. The lies. The tears. If the illness affected everyone why didn't they suffer the consequences. She was the burden but they were the cause of it all. Carlee didn't put her own mistakes on everyone. But they deserved it. She had been pushed to her breaking point. She couldn't help but want to eat something and retch it all up later. She was in control of it. How much she ate or how little she threw up later. How much she stayed awake or how little she slept. She was the ruler of her life. Until she wasn't. It was apart of her daily life now. She wasn't sure if she'd sleep now. But the pills were helping. She took three hour naps every so often but her dreams woke her up.

She was sometimes falling into a food pit. She was drowning in all of the greasiness and salt. She had to eat to survive but every time she ate, she threw it back up. But it wasn't vomit. It was food. But this time it had multiplied in more and more until it consumed her. She woke up in cold sweats and often had to throw up after the dreams. And then there was the dream where she attended her own funeral. She was skinny. Her cheek bones sticking out and her rib case poking out from underneath the dress she wore in the casket. She was scared after those dreams. She ate after those dreams. She was scared she'd end up like that girl in the casket. There was no one at her funeral but herself. No chairs, just empty space with the cold, brown coffin. She looked happy though but her skin was pale. She didn't look healthy. As if she had been battling something all her life and lost.

She was conflicted. She wanted to get better but that meant eating. And if she ate, she would get bigger. And maybe that's what needed to happen Kelly spoke about being a 'pear'. And she was gorgeous. Kelly was downright gorgeous. Her skin looked soft and fleshy. When she had placed her hand against her cheek it was warm and she liked it. Carlee's hands were cold and skeleton like. They were always that way even before the sadness came. Kelly was tall and curvy, in all the right places. It made Carlee smile when she thought about it. Carlee herself, was a short girl only 5'3" with tiny hips and barely any meat on her bones. She had been skinny before but never like this. She had ab's before but now he had a simply flat stomach. Nothing was there just a thin layer of skinny. A cold breeze hit her and she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Do you miss your old life?" Carlee eased the question to Kelly. She nibbled on the soft part of her nail. She needed a manicure. But she'd never been that girly. It was all her moms doing. The curling of hair and lipsticks. All that stuff. She liked simplicity. No make-up just her beautiful skin. And all the hidden flaws that came with it. Carlee stared up at Kelly and offered a partial smile. "I'm sorry if I'm asking so many questions. I don't want to seem intrusive. I just would like to know more about you. You seem really interesting." Carlee felt her own cheeks flush with red even though she had given the compliment. She then fiddled with her own hands.

Carlee didn't get crushes. She didn't desire other people. She didn't want to. But here she was, in her bed with a beautiful girl, planning an imaginary date for the girl would be sleeping almost two inches away from her for the next few months or so. She wouldn't tell Kelly this. Oh god no. She wasn't afraid of rejection. That's a lie. She was afraid of caring too much and everything not working out. She was afraid of trying.

[warwick avenue b]

⊱ henry oliver gold ⊰

〔 open your mind to the unknown. 〕

henry's eyes were still fixated on casper before his anger was interrupted by the coice of the small asian woman who was still a mystery to him. he had everyone pretty much pegged but her. the way she had pulled open her computer gave him the hint she was good with computers. he didn't understand how that could be of help but no one besides sid and acacia were really useful. casper, possibly, if the needed someone to throw into the crowd. henry smirked at his joke before he really examined the situation. maybe the testosterone levels were rising but it was to be expected. there was always panic in the movies about zombies or other monsters. but this wasn't exactly a movie. this was life. this was actually life or death. with a small side of being turned into a flesh eating human with no soul. henry smirked at his last thought and considered turning his experience into a book. he'd make money off of the whole ordeal and expose the government for what they were altogether. money and revenge; sounded delicious. henry snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at the two girls.

"since these knives aren't really that helpful and i'm pretty sure those things," he gestured to the space outside the gates. "aren't going to care." henry bit the inside of his right cheek and tapped his foot on the ground. he laid his eyes on the gun and the person holding the gun. "it only makes sense that you go with them as protection." he pointed the words at sid and looked around the room. his stomach was now aching and he needed real food. henry wasn't a huge fan of asian food. he needed a burger or a slice of pizza. something to tide him over until they left the mall. his eyes rolled over to the zombies outside of the gate. maybe it wasn't a good idea for two women and a man with one gun to venture out in a store filled with zombies. he looked up around the store. the vents maybe but there were different levels in the mall. that was dangerous too. what if something happened and there was a zombie rat in the vent. henry weighed all possible options but none of them seemed good enough. the plan was a go in his own head.

he slumped to the ground and pulled the messenger bag into his lap. he assumed if they were ready to go they'd have to be quick and stealth. that wasn't something he was good at. there was no way he could execute that plan. he had been clumsy since his grammar school days. nothing had changed. henry then opened the bag, wanting to examine the contents. the daggers he had stolen from the display case. but stolen was a criminal like word. he'd use borrowed for now. if they survived this disaster he'd come back and pay for them. ha, that was a funny joke. henry stopped at when he felt a soft vibration in his pocket. his heart skipped a beat because he was yearning for a call from cynthia. but when he stared at the screen he frowned. just some silly alarm he had set for himself. apparently, the tivo explained that it was time to go watch regular show.

[warwick avenue b]

Devon Daniel Monroe

Devon's face was planted on his fist and he stared at his notebook. He was sketching a house or something. The house was terrible though. He looked up, his eyes wandering over to the girl beside him. It was AP something. Devon had lost interest as soon as he was paired off with a girl he hadn't liked since freshmen year. And that's when the bell rang. "Do page 57 for homework and your labs are due next week." His teacher mumbled as the students rushed out of the class and poured into the hallway. Devon was one of them. He was hungry but most of all he was irritated.

His father was on him about football and asking about whether or not he had made the team and if he was looking to shine at like Nathan, his older brother. Truthfully, Devon hated football. He hated it so much. But he's never tell his dad that or tell him that he never went to tryouts and during the summer he was going to the beach and taking photos. He wouldn't understand. He probably would never understand. Stuffing his books into the locker, Devon pulled out his English IV notebook and slipped it into his bookbag. He fixed his black t-shirt and adjusted the bookbag on his back. A smile stretched across his lips as he peered at some of the females walking in the hallway. "Ay! Girl, hold up." Devon chuckled as he followed a few females.

"Vonnie, you play too much. I'm not that type of girl." A sophomore smiled as Devon leaned against her locker with his hand held out for hers. "I'm late for gym. I'll talk to you later. Call me this time." Devon smiled down at her as she slipped from his view and strutted down the hallway, trying to make up for the last five minutes she had spent with Devon who was filling her head with sweet nothings. The things never materialized in his head. Although Devon meant the words he said he really didn't care or allow them to register after he spoke them. As far as he was concerned, the girls knew things wouldn't go anywhere just as he didn't.

He made his way into the lunch room and stood in the line. He grabbed an apple, a water and a ham sandwich. Paying the two dollars and forty cents he owed he headed to a lunch table filled with a few of his friends from his free period. Sitting down, he leaned against the back of the chair as he looked around at his friends. Almost immediately a terrible joke was made, "Tell us D," Mikey, one of the linebackers on the football team spoke up, after clearing his throat. "Did you in fact get in bed with that adorable little junior Shanna?" He said as the table went up in an uproar of catcalls and jeers. Devon laughed and covered his face with both his hands. "She's uptight but was she tight?" Anothee one of his friends said, causing more jeers. Devon shook his head, "I'm not going to talk about it and slander her name. Real men's don't kiss and tell. So shaddaaap!" He said, protesting the reveal of what exactly did happen. He bit into his sandwich as the lunch table conversation continued.

No one had to know what happened. The rumor kept things a bit censored and left room for people to wonder what exactly did happen. And that was perfect to Devon. If he was being talked about, the world was all right. But Shanna. That was a different story.

[warwick avenue b]

EMILY LAYLA XENNE

emily bit her bottom lip as she rolled over in her lush bed. she gripped the sheets and turned to look at the clock. it was twelve o'clock and she was late. jumping out of her bed, the twenty-two year old grabbed her jeans and shoes. she slipped a large sweater over her body and snatched her purse. she dashed out of the bedroom and into her sorry excuse for a living room. she slipped her apartment keys into her pants and rushed out of the house.

it took her about fifteen minutes to get to the rehearsal brunch. smiling at her sister and her bestfriend, she slid into the seat beside her. she kissed her cheek and looked at everyone. judging by their outfits and their facial expressions they were disappointed and rather surprised. crossing her legs she looked at the beautiful decorated plates. the bridesmaids looked gorgeous even though just last night everyone had been stone cold drunk. well, at least emily wasn't. emily wasn't a drinker. nor much of anything. she was quiet. reserved. except last night when she got that stripper's attention.

that was a weird thing. she wasn't into girls. they were beautiful but she had never seen them as a life partner or anything more. but she was a stripper. a stripper. she took her clothes off for bills. and was amazingly gorgeous. and that body. that body was lovely. enily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked around the table before pulling out her phone. she then dug into her purse and pulled out the book of matches the stripper had wrote her number on.

To: Unknown.
From: Emily.
Hi, not sure if you remember me but I'm Em,
the pink haired girl from last night.
You gave me your number so, uh, yeah.
Hi.

emily looked up around the table and smiled as everyone stood to their feet as if they were ready to leave. joylie, emily's big sister's, wedding was later on that night. on a boat. emily hated boats but she loved her sister so she agreed. giving a few, she blushed at joy, "damn, you were drunk last night, sweetie. and that stripper... she was all over you. what a lesbo." joy said, smirking at her own comment. emily looked at her fingers. "yes, it was weird." she said, hesitantly. she didn't want her sister to think she was weird for texting the stripper so she didn't mention it. leaving from the brunch, she made her way to her apartment again.

a shower, a nice breakfast and while cleaning her house she settled into her couch. she looked down at her cellphone, hoping to find a text from the stripper. what was going on with her. was she desperate for the attention since nick left her or was she really interest in her. god. was she?

[warwick avenue b]

Devon Daniel Monroe

Devon's eyes were fixated on his milk. He drowned out the sounds of his friends taunts and jeers. He laughed a bit and scratched the back of his head. "Ya'll are some idiots." He said, leaning back in his chair. He then heard one of the dumbest comments he had ever heard in his life tossed towards Shanna. He watched the anger and hurt in Shanna's eyes and concealed his own anger. He frowned and pushed his head between his massive palms. He then looked around the lunch room and focused on her when she sat down. She looked so cute, but she was alone.

Devon and Shanna were so much different. She was focused on her acting career and so serious while Fevon was carefree and totally unfocused. His time was spent with females and dodging bullets from his parents insistence that he join the football team. He was on the football team. He was the manager. He figured he'd be at every game even dress up but never play. That wasn't his passion. He didn't want a career or a job, not even a sports job. He wanted to do something meaningful. Maybe work with poor kids or some selfless s**t like that.

That's when it happened. His friends hushed except for a hard crunch on an apple, his table was quiet. That was surprising but he turned and saw the cause of their silence. Shanna stood there and Devon nearly fell out of his seat. Her bold stance caught him off guard and he swallowed hard. He stood to his feet and smiled. "Um, sure thing." He picked his bookbag up and swung it over his shoulder as he headed for the lunch room door which led to the hallway. He knew he needed to get her as far from his friends as he could. He hated to admit it but he was a jackass around them. They brought out the nastiness in him. And even though it was fun at times it was annoying in others.

"Before you say anything, I'm sorry for the nasty comments. My friends are assholes and I don't know how people found out about the kiss." It wasn't really a kiss. A simple small hovering of lips. A soft touch and then it was over. But that soft touch had created feelings inside of him. He wasn't sure if she felt the same but he knew he felt it.