Melomar
(?)Community Member
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- Posted: Fri, 01 Jul 2016 05:56:09 +0000
Faithofthefallen
Yes thats what it is! My boyfriend is an extrovert but he just likes to relax and unwind after work, he's irritated by the situation but it has definitely affected me to a much higher degree, partially because our roommate is my friend of more than 10 years so he's known me twice as long and feels very comfortable bouncing ideas off me. At parties we would always sit and talk and I liked it because I like weird detailed conversations, so I would be more than happy to talk to him, just not for two hours and not when I'm drained. But he is very thrown off by how much quieter I am at home. He was expecting that level of conversation and when it ended up not being that way, he has resorted to trying to force me instead of adjusting. He literally has said he plans to just keep throwing conversation topics at me until I 'bite' and start responding to him. I basically just want to be able to say "I'd love to talk later but right now i just need a couple hours to myself." and have him respect that, and when I'm done talking, I'd love to be able to tap out before I start feeling like screaming. I get that its mentally unhealthy for him to feel isolated when he need to talk to feel grounded, but we are his only social contacts for the most part right now so its a big load to place on our shoulders. I'd love to help him find a day job so he could spread it out more, but even then he only talks with people he feels really comfortable with and I'm one of the only people he has known long enough to be at that point with. I feel for him, I do, and I do try to meet him halfway. I talk to him way longer and way more often than I usually talk when I'm at home, but I need to be able to say, okay, this is all I have to give right now, let me recharge and we'll pick this back up later xD. Sounds so silly to be freaking out so much over talking. Thank you for the ideas, I'm definitely going to be trying some of these!
Ah, yes I see. He needs to understand that at home you are much more quiet than the times you went out together. Maybe you want to do just that: go out together, to a cafe or something. Then you have the perspective difference between the two places. Right now he's out of his element and does not understand the boundaries, as well as feeling rather lost. I also agree that approaching him as a united front is best, as long as it doesn't seem like a confrontation, I suppose? I wish all three of you the best. This can turn out just fine or strengthen your bonds, if you all communicate about your situation, needs, etc. (not just random fun topics) back and forth.
Tara de Draiocht
Melomar
*needs to actually set up plot thread*
Is it customary to quote/link people, who were interesting in plots/breeding/etc, to a new plot thread?
Is it customary to quote/link people, who were interesting in plots/breeding/etc, to a new plot thread?
Personally, I would do it because it lets those know what you plan to do or just basically gives them a heads up. 3nodding
That sounds like simple common sense when you put it that way! And that's what I will do. Thank you. :3
The Sarkka x Terrin baskets are gorgeous!
And the Love of Nox contest is tempting.
@Kara Asumie: Congratulations!