flippinbananas
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- Posted: Fri, 20 Jul 2012 20:26:05 +0000
Wife beating is a widely misunderstood concept in Islam. As a matter of fact a woman had come to the Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) telling him that her husband had hit her, and he had replied back to her that she should hit him back. It was after this incident that Allah had sent verse 34 of Chapter 4 down:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all)"
It does not mention that men are better than women, but they are the ones responsible because they are physically stronger, and are the breadwinners. That of course is in general. Those two reasons are for maintaining and taking care of their wife.
The Arabic word Kawaam (Maintainers) means one who protects and watches over someone, ensures growth; all the time.
Wives in return should be obedient to them. But those women who react harshly, are ungrateful, and go around doing things that are recognized as wrong even within the society, that's when the husband has to do something about it. The verse doesn't do straight to beating. It first says to admonish.
The Arabic word Fa'idhu (Admonish them) is used, and it's root words are wow, ayn and dhaw which means to remind someone, give advice that softens the heart, by mentioning reward and consequences, which leads to reformation.
If that doesn't work, than refuse to share the same bed. The Arabic word Uhjuru (Leave them) is used and it's root words are ha, jeem, and ra' which means to leave something with your heart and action. Don't just not sleep in the same bed, but also silent treatment.
If that doesn't work than beat them. The Arabic word Idribu (Strike them) is used and it means to basically strike or hit, and in some parts of the Qur'an this word is translated to travel. And this beating is such that it wouldn't cause a mark, bruise on the skin. It's a very light beating. And this light striking is not just for any situation, but totally in serious situations.
The whole point is not to humiliate or dominate but make her realize the negativity of her actions, and stop them. And it's disliked that the third option should ever have to come up. Unfortunately many Muslim men use this as an excuse to cause harm when they are doing nothing just disobeying themselves.
Other than that, the Qur'an urges men to treat their wives with kindness:
“Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Quran: An-Nisaa 19)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.)
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While typing this, I saw your other question about the the husband being the one who is being unruly.
If that is the case then people from outside have to get involved.
The verse after the one I explained is Chapter 4: Verse 35:." If you fear a breach between them two (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things."
The family members should get involved, and if not enough reformation than the judge should be called.
And as much as any woman in that unfortunate situation would love to slap him across the face, or kick below his belt, it wasn't permitted. I don't know about any narration that says this, but it's said that if she hits him back, he'll hit her back, and men in generally are the stronger ones physically, so it might hurt the woman more. Of course, unless she learns karate or ninjutsu.
4laugh
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all)"
It does not mention that men are better than women, but they are the ones responsible because they are physically stronger, and are the breadwinners. That of course is in general. Those two reasons are for maintaining and taking care of their wife.
The Arabic word Kawaam (Maintainers) means one who protects and watches over someone, ensures growth; all the time.
Wives in return should be obedient to them. But those women who react harshly, are ungrateful, and go around doing things that are recognized as wrong even within the society, that's when the husband has to do something about it. The verse doesn't do straight to beating. It first says to admonish.
The Arabic word Fa'idhu (Admonish them) is used, and it's root words are wow, ayn and dhaw which means to remind someone, give advice that softens the heart, by mentioning reward and consequences, which leads to reformation.
If that doesn't work, than refuse to share the same bed. The Arabic word Uhjuru (Leave them) is used and it's root words are ha, jeem, and ra' which means to leave something with your heart and action. Don't just not sleep in the same bed, but also silent treatment.
If that doesn't work than beat them. The Arabic word Idribu (Strike them) is used and it means to basically strike or hit, and in some parts of the Qur'an this word is translated to travel. And this beating is such that it wouldn't cause a mark, bruise on the skin. It's a very light beating. And this light striking is not just for any situation, but totally in serious situations.
The whole point is not to humiliate or dominate but make her realize the negativity of her actions, and stop them. And it's disliked that the third option should ever have to come up. Unfortunately many Muslim men use this as an excuse to cause harm when they are doing nothing just disobeying themselves.
Other than that, the Qur'an urges men to treat their wives with kindness:
“Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Quran: An-Nisaa 19)
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Maajah, 1977; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While typing this, I saw your other question about the the husband being the one who is being unruly.
If that is the case then people from outside have to get involved.
The verse after the one I explained is Chapter 4: Verse 35:." If you fear a breach between them two (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from her's; if they both wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allah is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things."
The family members should get involved, and if not enough reformation than the judge should be called.
And as much as any woman in that unfortunate situation would love to slap him across the face, or kick below his belt, it wasn't permitted. I don't know about any narration that says this, but it's said that if she hits him back, he'll hit her back, and men in generally are the stronger ones physically, so it might hurt the woman more. Of course, unless she learns karate or ninjutsu.
4laugh
