██ ✿this isn't happening [onexone]

[so much nope]

this is a onexone between so much nope and MARVEL q u e e n. please do not post.

[so much nope]

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⋮✦ aydyn heith davis
⋮✦ july twentieth
⋮✦ eighteen
⋮✦ heterosexual
⋮✦ five foot eleven
⋮✦ one hundred forty-six pounds

⋮✦ horror and comedy genres, rock music, night swimming, art&photography, cat family
⋮✦ attention seekers, overbearing women, slimy textures, big scenes/crowds, reality tv
⋮✦ commitment, having an unsuccessful future, underwater creatures

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⋮✦ erina lynn carter
⋮✦ july sixth
⋮✦ seventeen
⋮✦ heterosexual
⋮✦ five foot six
⋮✦ one hundred twenty-two pounds

⋮✦ parties, money, alcohol, friends, being popular
⋮✦ losers, quiet, her step brother, change, school
⋮✦ losing everything, drowning, being alone

[MARVEL q u e e n]

tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab xxxᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴇᴘ-sɪsᴛᴇʀ

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs ʟɪᴀʀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴxxxxxx
ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Getting a new family was the last thing I ever wanted. At the same time it was what I always wanted. Having never seen my father for more than a few minutes every couple of weeks it was nice to actually have him at home when I get up and go to bed. The problem was, was that I didn’t like the fact that it wasn’t because of me. It was because of some other woman that he had fallen in love with. He paid more attention to me now, but most of his attention was making his new wife and son comfortable. I didn’t like it one bit. Why couldn’t he be like that with me? Sure, I was used to this damned house, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make sure I was ok, too. I was his flesh and blood for Christ’s sake! That was probably the main reason I hated my new mother. She was a nice woman and all, but I was angry. It wasn’t even anything that she had any control over. I wasn’t usually like this, not at home at least. Now, here I was, hating someone, just because of the way my dad was treating his new wife. It made me feel low and stupid. That didn’t stop me though. I kept raising hell and doing everything I could in the hopes of the two getting a divorce and going their separate ways. I know it’s stupid, but for some reason I just couldn’t help myself. It certainly got me noticed though. I hate the look I’m often given by my father and the phone calls my brother always give me or the looks when we get to skype.

“You need to stop causing so much trouble,” the voice from my computer said. Here we go again.

“Shut up, Byron. No one asked you,” I grumbled, looking away from my brother as he shook his head. I knew he was about to lecture me again. We had been doing this for weeks, but I still wasn’t listening. What do you expect from a seventeen-year-old. I knew he would react the same way if he was in my shoes, but he wasn’t. He didn’t know what I was going through. “He’s ignored me all my life and suddenly this woman comes into his life and I’m still just as invisible. It’s not fair.” I watched as my brother rolled his eyes and shake his head at me. He really didn’t know what I was going through. Unlike me he had dad’s attention for the first seventeen years of his life. Sure, he didn’t know his mother either, but at least he had gotten the chance to know dad. It was only a year of dad being gone all the time before he was off to join the army. There was some yelling from off the screen and I let out a sigh, knowing that he had to go.

“Look, be good. I’ll be home in a month to visit with everyone and I will hang out with you for a majority of the time. I love you, little sis.” I smiled at his words and nodded. No matter what, I could always count on him.

“Ok, be safe. Go give the recruits hell.” That earned me a chuckle and then the screen went black before going back to the skype screen. A sigh passed through my lips. This sucked a**, but I could live with my situation for now, I guess. Though I wasn’t sure if I could be a good girl or not. I honestly seriously doubted it. I stood up from my desk chair and stretched my arms over my head. Now, it was time to get ready for school. This was probably one of the worst part of my days. Looking at my closest it was organized from my weekend clothes and my school clothes. I frowned at the clothes I usually wore to school and yearned just to grab my favorite ripped jeans and fall out boy shirt. Of course that couldn’t happen though. That would be bad for my reputation and I just couldn’t have that. So instead I let out a sigh as I grabbed some clothes. Sometimes I wished I could just give up this whole façade, but then I would have to give up all my friends. My life was lonely enough already. Having friends were the only reason I could get through most days. Without them I would probably just stay home and hide away or something. Regardless I knew that I was better off faking her way through high school and being who I wanted to be when I made it to college. At least I hoped I could. It was pretty much the single hope that I held onto while I was going through this exhausting ride called High School.

Once I was done getting dressed, I left my room only to see my new step-brother, Aydyn, leaving his room at the same time. I hated him. At least I tried to hate him. It was hard to keep that up though when I can totally kick his a** at Halo. Whenever our parents were home for the weekend and I wasn’t out with my friends, we would have Halo competitions. Since it’s my Xbox360 I was pretty much in charge of it and therefore I picked the map we played on, which was a special one I made where most of the awesome weapons were hidden and he was stuck with a pistol or an assault rifle if he got lucky. I looked away from him and finished putting my hair up in a bun as I walked down the stairs. My eyes were glued to the step below me since I was a bit clumsy. It was not something I was willing to admit, but it happened all the time. Wearing heels didn’t help my case though. I gripped the railing as I walked, really hoping that I made it downstairs in one piece. I could definitely do this… right? I bit my lip, forgetting about the lipstick I had applied just seconds ago. Finally, my foot found the floor and as I began to walk away, my foot slipped out from under me and I found myself begin to fall backwards. And then I suddenly wasn’t. There were a pair of arms holding me up and I looked up to see Aydyn holding me. I quickly jumped away from his arms. “Thanks,” I mumbled, before hurrying away, hoping my face wasn’t turning bright red.

Merissa was already in the kitchen by the time we had made it there. A smile illuminated the woman’s face, but I turned away. I know she was trying hard to get me to like her and I know she was a nice person, I just couldn’t do it. Instead I focused on grabbing my bowl of fruit out of the fridge and finishing that up. As long as I didn’t think about it for the most part would be fine. At least I hoped so. Seems like most of my life was relying on hope and luck. As soon as I was done, I place my bowl in the sink and grab my keys off the counter. “Hurry up, Aydyn, I’m leaving soon,” I said, barely even acknowledging Merissa as I headed to the door.

“Erina! You could at least tell your mother good-bye. It won’t kill you,” my father said as he came from his study. God, he just didn’t get it. I glared at him and walked out the door, slamming it behind me. My hatred was more focused on him, so I didn’t feel all bad about how I treated her at times. I slid into the driver’s seat and rested my forehead on the steering wheel, as I took a few deep calming breaths. This was just so hard. I couldn’t wait for July to come around and to finally get out of here. Maybe, then my father and I could mend our relationship, but right now I didn’t see that happening. As I heard the door to my car open, I started it up and waited for Aydyn to get in, before pulling out and heading for school. The drive was silent, though it probably took everything in him not to tease me about me almost falling on my a** earlier. He was always teasing me, but I guess he had learned when I wouldn’t take any of it, since I could easily hurt him when I really wanted to and right now I was not afraid to give him a dead arm if he even tried.


outfit in gif
Hope you like it :] tell me if you think anything needs to be changed
Or something



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[so much nope]

A groan sounded, along with a string of inaudible curse words, as the obnoxious ringing of an alarm clock began echoing around the room. Rolling over onto my side, I strained to slam a hand down on the clock and silence the annoyance. It was a little past seven. Another inaudible curse word was muttered. I could've sworn I changed the alarm to ring at six-thirty last night, but I guess it was just part of my dream. I pressed my back against the bed once more and kicked the sheets off onto the wooden floor as I rubbed at my eyes with the palm of my hands. It took a few seconds to adjust to the sunlight streaming in through the exposed windows. I made the millionth mental note to purchase some blinds or, at least, curtains the next time I went out. Money used to be quite an issue for Mom and I to come by, but we managed. Now, money was more or less handed to us since Mom recently became married to this nicely-waged man, Marcus. Though it was nice, something about it felt wrong, and I had yet to take even a penny from his hands. I preferred to work and earn everything myself; it was probably just a pride thing that most of us men have. With a sign, I decided to get out of bed and start getting ready for the day. "Fun."

I stepped in front of the tall mirror screwed into the wall and ran a hand through my messy, brunette hair. Dabbing some styling gel into the palm of my hand, I smeared it only on the front part, combed it straight out then upwards into the usual style. I moved over to the not-so-large cardboard box in the corner of my room and pulled out whatever clothes were on top. Turned out it was a three/fourth-sleeved baseball tee and dark skinny jeans, or as I preferred to call them, straight-legs. I grabbed a black beanie from the top corner of the mirror and fixed it onto my head. It was rare for me to be seen without a beanie in public. I rushed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and rushed back to my bedroom to finish getting ready. I pulled on black socks and stepped into one of the few pairs of Vans I owned. Glancing at the clock as I started for the bedroom door, it was now fifteen minutes past seven. Mostly likely, I was going to make my step-sister, Erina, a little delayed with her entrance and big scene at school. I smirked; it was becoming a daily thing, and it pissed her off each time, for it made her "look bad" in front of her "friends". Admittedly, it was entertaining.

Closing the door behind myself, I nearly bumped into Erina when I turned around. Speak of the devil, I thought, attempting to keep a neutral, straight face as she blatantly ignored me by putting her hair up. She knew I definitely didn't enjoy her company, but I did my best to keep that on the down-low around Mom and Marcus. After all, Erina made sure to stress the two of them out enough on her own. I rolled my eyes as I followed behind her down the stairs. I watched my feet at first, but her feet caught my attention, and I knew what was about to happen. Then, it happened; she slipped. Without hesitation, I threw my arms out and caught her by the waist. It was either catch her, or let her fall and take me down with her. The latter didn't seem all that bad, but I'd rather not suffer a head injury in the hospital bed next to hers. Don't get me wrong - if I had a different roomie in the hospital, I would've happily went with the latter. I was brought back to reality when she snapped away from my grasp and muttered a thanks as her face turned red. I couldn't help but smirk. First of all, Erina? Saying thanks? Second of all, blushing? She must've been sick. "Turning red from a little skin-on-skin contact?" I called after her, though she had already disappeared into the kitchen. I shook my head and joined her.

In the kitchen, there was only one missing face, but it wasn't unusual. I wondered if Mom ever got lonely from Marcus working day-in and day-out. Why did she choose him, of all people? It had been some time since my good-for-nothing father and Mom split ways. It's a bit hazy, but she got out and dated a couple times since then. None of the relationships managed to last any longer than four months; even then, it wasn't all that serious. I hoped she hadn't settled because Marcus told her he loved her or some other ridiculous reason. I hoped she truly loved him and felt loved in return. However, there was nothing I could particularly do about it since she's thirty-something years older than I am. Pushing the thoughts aside, I brushed past Erina, who was - as usual - acting like a brat, and hugged the woman. "Mornin', Mom," I said, kissing her cheek as she kissed my forehead. "Good Morning, Aydie Dear, Erina." I pulled away and forced a smile when I actually wanted to turn around and snap at the brat eating her bowl of fruit as if no one was in the room. She acted as if it was only hard on her to adjust to the new living conditions. I grit my teeth, retrieved a carton of strawberry milk from the fridge and poured a glass. I gulped it down within seconds and washed the empty cup when I was done with it.

I hugged Mom once more before heading for the door. "See you later, Marcus," I called back over my shoulder just before closing the front door. I sat in the passenger seat of Erina's car, not even bothering to glance over at her. It was easy to tell she was about to burst, but when was she not? It was easy to see through her; she believed she always appeared to be keeping her composure when, in reality, it was far from that. I made sure to focus his attention out of the window, though I was already used to the new surroundings. The ride to school passed by slowly and, as usual, I climbed out of the car about a block away from the school. Before closing the door, I said "You know, it really wouldn't hurt you to not act like such a b***h towards my mom," My eyes fell dull and stared directly into hers. "Go ahead and punch me like you normally do if it makes you feel more like a human," I hissed. This conversation sounded all too familiar. Oh, that's right; it's because we had already had it several times before, and nothing changed. Closing the door, I patted the hood of the car as a signal for her to drive off, and she did.

Adjusting the beanie atop my head, I pulled the straps of the denim backpack onto either shoulder and started my walk. About two minutes away from the school, a vibration went off against my leg. Reaching into the pocket of my jeans, I pulled out my phone and scanned the new message. It was from Daniel, one of my friends from school. Out of the group of girls and guys I hung out, Daniel was probably the closest at the moment. I answered back: Just got here. Meet you at my locker. And, sure enough, Daniel was propped up against the locker, a tall, dark-haired girl in his arm. The two parted just as I walked up to him. "Did I interrupt something?" I joked, knowing the girl was just another playtoy for his friend. Of course, I wasn't one to talk; I have a couple playtoys too, and I've had tons of them in the past. "Man, you know, you know." Daniel grinned from ear-to-ear as his eyes flicked over, and I decided to follow them. It was Erina and her group, cackling and snickering about something. I turned back around and stuffed my books into my locker before closing and locking it back up.

"Let's go get this day over with."


MARVEL q u e e n
hope this is alright! here is his outfit. c:

[MARVEL q u e e n]

tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab xxxᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴇᴘ-sɪsᴛᴇʀ

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs ʟɪᴀʀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴxxxxxx
ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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No. One. Understood! My father was too blind to the truth and my new family just didn’t know the whole story. The only thing they knew was that my dad worked hard to get his company where it is now, that my brother was his b*****d child from when he was seventeen, and that he divorced my mom when I was young. They didn’t know why or when they divorced. They didn’t know that she’s being institutionalized and that he ignored me for the last seventeen years of my ******** life so he can have complete focus on his business. Byron didn’t even fully understand, because while he watched over me for a year, the next he was off to the military. It was a wonder we had this amazing relationship now. Of course he also made an effort to see me as often as he could. I know I shouldn’t take out all my angry and frustration on Merissa and Aydyn, but I did anyways. I could just tell them, but what good would that do me? My father would probably come up with some lame excuse and say that I’ve never been invisible. I sighed as Aydyn tapped the hood of my car and without putting much thought into it, I finished the drive to school. My mind was officially on autopilot as I parked my car.

I wish I could just run away. Go somewhere far away where no knew who I was and I could restart my life. I knew that wasn’t going to work, but I wished it would. Things would be so much simpler and my dad could just move on with his life. It’s not like he would notice. Aydyn and Merissa might, but they would probably be glad to be rid of a b***h like me. Byron would be the only one worried and I would make sure he knew where I was. I let out a deep breath, before grabbing my purse from the back of the car and getting out. Did I really have to be doing this right now? Of course I did, I have to keep up appearances after all. Once I got inside my friend’s surrounded me and we were heading down the halls to our lockers. I ignored Aydyn when we walked by him, tying to smile at what they were saying, but I couldn’t. It was the beginning of the school year and I was already exhausted. This was definitely going to be a hell of a year that much was for sure


--END OF SCHOOL--


The day went by without a hitch. My friend’s luckily didn’t notice my lack of a voice, but I don’t think they noticed a whole lot about me unless it was about a party or yet another shopping spree. I pulled the bun from my hair and put my headband into my bag. As soon as I got into my car, I pulled my heels off and replaced them with a pair of flip flops I keep hidden under my seat. I was almost there. Soon, I would be able to lie down on my bed and relax, forget all about this day. I can play some music and hopefully let this day just roll off of my shoulders. Of course, I knew that it probably wasn’t going to be that easy. Jason was probably going to make a stop. I did see him eyeing me all day. I just didn’t want to deal with him, though. I didn’t even know why I was doing this with him. He was a huge sleaze ball and a total a**. Yet, here I was letting him have his way with me. My relationship with Carter wasn’t the best, but somehow I don’t think it was this bad. It doesn’t matter though, I guess. Both of them were using me for one thing or another. All Jason wanted was sex and all Carter wanted was my status. Neither of them actually cared about me. Really, I should probably end things with both of them, but I knew that it could destroy my reputation if I dumped Carter and Jason could tell everyone if I ended it with him. Either way, I was screwed.

A sigh passed through my lips as I stopped to pick up Aydyn. I put my car in park and got out. “Can you drive?” I asked, passing him my keys and getting in the passenger seat. As soon as I was buckled, I pulled out a facial cleansing cloth from my bag and rubbed it over my face. It felt good taking off at least one mask. I let out another sigh and sat back in my seat, looking out the window. “I don’t hate your mom, you know.” I don’t know why I felt the need to get this out in the open, but I did. I really didn’t want to be hated and while I wasn’t going to explain everything to him, he should at least know. “She’s great. What I had always wished my mom was and it’s not like I want my parents get back together or that I’m an attention seeking whore like you probably think. It’s just the situation I guess.” He probably was thinking that I’m some stupid b***h now. I looked over at Aydyn for a bit, before looking back outside the car. “If you knew what the last seventeen years had been like, I think you would understand more. Regardless, I’m not exactly happy with myself either. I’m sorry for causing troubles for you and your mom.” The car was parked and I got out and headed towards the house, with my heels in my hand.

When I walked in, I called out that we were home and then went straight up with my room, not wanting to deal with anyone at that moment. I went to my closet and changed into some pajamas, pulling the dog tags my brother gave me over my head and checked my phone. A message from my brother made me smile, but of course the rest just put me back into my mood. I laid down on my bed and started to scroll through them all. Parties and shopping trips, all the same and none that I wanted to do. I deleted the texts and placed my phone on my bed side table.

“You look bummed, miss popular,” a familiar voice said. I looked up to see Jason coming in through my open bedroom window. I rolled my eyes as I made a mental note to lock my window when I got him out of here. A smirk was on his face and he crawled on my bed, making me feel a little anxious.

“Stop, I don’t want-“ His lips covered mine, cutting off my words and making me panic. Crap, this wasn’t going to be good. I pushed at him and tried to get him off, but he just pushed my hands into mattress and pressed his body down on me, to keep me from doing anything. The panic really started to set in. I bit his lip and started to scream.

[******** b***h, shut up!” Jason slapped me, shocking me. God, what the hell did I get myself into? I kept thinking about the situation I was in, feeling too shocked to do anything. That was until he slipped his hands under my shirt and reminded me that I need to get away.

“Aydyn! Help!” I screamed, calling his name over and over hoping he would come and save me. The next thing I knew, Jason was being ripped off the top of me and thrown to the floor. I quickly got up and ran over to Aydyn, attaching myself to him. I buried my face in his chest as tears started to flow down my face. My heart was pounding in my chest from the adrenaline; it was so loud that that was all I could hear. My arms wrapped around him, not caring if he hugged me back or not. I didn’t need his comfort, but holding him made me feel a million times better and hundred times safer, though I was surprised when he hugged me back after a couple of beats. Slowly, my heart started to calm down, my chest began to relax, and my tears stopped. “Thank you.” I kept my face buried in his chest for a bit, waiting to be a bit more relaxed. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. I didn’t want to admit that it felt good to hug him and to be hugged back. I pulled away and sniffed a bit, before looking up at him. “I’m sorry for causing you trouble, but thank you for helping me.” As soon as he left, I went to my window and locked it, not wanting to deal with that anymore, ever. Turning on my PlayStation 4, I started to play something random, hoping to forget what had just happened. All of it!


outfit in gif
new outfit in timeskip



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[so much nope]

The school day had passed by relatively quick, and there was not a single thing interesting about it. For once, I chose not to mess around with Kagan during lunch and after school. Instead, I started walking home, ran into Erina, and she tossed me the keys to her car. "Are you sick?" I joked, taking her place in the drivers while she switched to the passenger seat. It wasn't exactly unusual for her to allow me to drive, but it was a sign of an off day. Once she finished removing the mask of make-up, the blonde in the spoke up about what I said this morning rather than coming back with sarcastic, sharp words. I arched an eyebrow, eyes momentarily focused on her. She looked much better without that mask. As we pulled into the driveway of the exquisite house, she apologized for how she treats my mom, but I knew it wasn't going to change anything. She was still going to act rather coldly towards her, and my mother would act as if it didn't bother her. Sighing, the car door shut before I could say anything. My eyes trailed behind her as she disappeared into the house.

Tossing the keys onto the marble counter top, I glanced around. Mom was napping on the couch in a rather uncomfortable position. I guessed she had fallen asleep unintentionally. Was she not sleeping properly? I moved her into a more comfortable position, placed a pillow underneath her head and retrieved a throw-over from the hallway closet. I kissed her forehead gently before going into the kitchen and fixing a ham and tomato sandwich. I would've called out to Marcus to let him know I was home, but he was probably busy. Once I was in my room, I plopped down on the mattress and tossed my beanie onto the top corner of the mirror. I finished off the sandwich just as my mobile began ringing. The call was from Kagan Saunders. Groaning, I motioned my thumb towards the green answer button and put it to my ear. "Hello? I started feeling sick - sorry about that. Mmm, see ya tomorrow." I slipped my mobile back into the pocket of my jeans and started for the bathroom. Hearing mumbled, inaudible voices from Erina's room, I hesitated before peeking in the crack of the door. Why was I spying? It was Jason, one of the popular kids from school. I smirked as an idea came to mind. I pulled out my phone and was about to begin taking pictures as a form of blackmail for future use when - "Aydyn! Help!"

Without a moment's pause, I was in her room and Jason was underneath my shoe. How had I even gotten here? What was I doing? I grit my teeth and pushed my foot down a bit harder. "Weren't you ever taught manners? That's right. Low-lives like you don't know what those are," I said, leaning down and grabbing a fistful of his shirt to help him to his feet. I released it by pushing him back. Jason looked every bit of confused and even more pissed off. He yelled something I chose to ignore as he climbed down from the window. I closed and locked it with a groan, realizing my jaw was still clenched. I hadn't fought or threatened anyone in a while. The left over adrenaline disappeared as I shook away thoughts of the past, and Erina had now wrapped her arms around me. I smirked before half-hardheartedly hugging her in return. I knew it was a form of comfort, though she would never admit to it. "Don't let freaks like him into your window anymore, alright?" I joked, releasing her as she took a few steps back. She had managed to stop the tears and mumbled the second thank you. "Anyone would come to your rescue if you were in that situation, so there's no need for all that," I said, flashing a charming smile before dismissing myself from her room and rushing to the bathroom. I was about to piss myself.

- - - LATER THAT NIGHT - - -

"How was school, kids?" Marcus asked, thanking my mom as she placed his plate of food in front of him.

"Just a day, thanks," I responded with a small smile. I shifted uncomfortably as I took a sip of sweet tea. Though the four of us had sat down with each other for dinner each night, it still felt awkward. I appreciated the fact that Marcus was trying though. My father, Mom and I had never done this before, but when Mom and I were living with my grandparents, after she grew tired of Dad's bullshit, we sat down as a family for dinner. Now, I had to adjust to this, and it was proving to be much more difficult. I liked Marcus, and Erina had her moments, but they still weren't family in my eyes. Mom must've noticed the difference because she nudged me and asked if I was alright. Nodding, I offered another smile and started to eat the pasta on the plate before me. My eyes landed on Erina, and I wondered if she was feeling any better, not that it really mattered to me. My phone buzzed to alert me of a text; it was from Kagan, and it said, Hey, boo thang. I'm at the end of your street. Come? She called earlier, and now she's here without asking if I was available. Was she beginning to think of me as her actual boyfriend? Though it sounds harsh, all she was to me was a play toy, something to occupy my boredom. With irritation, I hit the letters in, Be there in a bit.


MARVEL q u e e n
here is his outfit. c:

[MARVEL q u e e n]

tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab tab xxxᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴇᴘ-sɪsᴛᴇʀ

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs ʟɪᴀʀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄʟᴏsᴇ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ sᴇᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴxxxxxx
ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡs, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏʙᴏᴅʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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No matter what I did, I couldn’t get the frightening experience out of my head. I kept going back to the feeling of disgust as he touched me in places I didn’t want to be touched. I knew it was stupid, since I had sex with him so many times before, but I didn’t want it at that time. I had a rough day and that just made it absolutely terrible. Now, it wouldn’t go away. I put my game on the hardest level possible where you had to focus on it if you didn’t want to die and yet it kept entering my thoughts. It took everything in me not to go running to Aydyn and hope he comforts me. We didn’t exactly get along, so I couldn’t put him in a situation like that. It wasn’t like he would let me anyways. A sigh slipped through my lips and I placed my controller down next to me. How do you people do this? How can there be people out there that seek comfort in solitary like this? At the same time I wasn’t alone. I had so many friends and people around me, but there wasn’t a single person I could turn to. Half the time I was alone and I didn’t get it.

I shook the thoughts from my head and lay back on my bed. I didn’t want to think about any of this anymore. I wanted everything to disappear, to be able to be free and do what I wanted. Once again, I pushed the thoughts away and headed downstairs as the call for dinner was made. My eyes stayed down at my feet as I walked. Not really wanting to look at any at that time. anyone at that time. In fact I didn’t want to interact with anyone. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and hope to disappear under my blankets. In a small voice, I said thank you to Merissa as she put my plate in front of me and I started to push the food around my plate, ignoring my father’s question. I didn’t have much of an appetite and even the smell of her food didn’t make me feel more hungry like it usually did. Of course that’s not how my father saw it. He saw it as me being a little brat towards his new wife, yet again.

“Erina! Eat the food that Merissa so kindly made for us,” he said, the annoyance obvious in his voice. “You have never acted like-“ That was it. I had enough. I didn’t care if he would be pissed about me ruining his façade of being the perfect father. I slammed my fork down on the table and stared him down.

“Do not act like you know me! You have acted like I was invisible for the last seventeen years of my life! Seventeen years, dad!” I said dad with as much malice as I could muster, wanting to piss him off as much as I could. “Ever since s**t hit the fan with mom, you have dumped me with the babysitter and then the nanny when you could afford one. Byron was there for me a hell of a lot more then you and he was away from almost all of my life. Now, suddenly this woman comes into your life and you have to start acting like father of the year. Well, I’m sick of it! You are not my father! We may share the same blood, but you are not my father. Have a nice dinner with your new family; I’ll just get out of your way.” I stood up, letting the chair clatter behind me and went up to my room, feeling my fists start to shake. I clenched them hard and took a deep breath, slamming my door behind me. “You are calm. Calm down, Erina,” I whispered to myself, trying to get myself to calm down before a panic attack hit. Tears started to roll down my face and I collapsed on top of my bed. “You are in control.”

Just as my tears stopped, my phone rang and I saw that Sutton was calling me. Taking one more deep breath to make sure I sounded normal, I picked up the phone and gave her the most cheerful voice I could. Of course when she went on to talk about doing yet another party this weekend and a shopping trip tomorrow; I just couldn’t keep up with it. I didn’t want to do any of those things.

“Sorry, but I can’t. I’m just not feeling up to it,” I said, wanting this conversation to be over.

“Why? Did your daddy say no? Oh, you poor baby.” I knew she was just being malicious and spiteful, since she always was like this, but I just wanted to reach through the phone and snap her scrawny little neck.

“Whatever Sutton. I had an off day and I’m done talking about this. I’m not throwing a party or taking you out shopping.” Before she could say anything, I hung up the phone and stared down at it, feeling the tears come back and the anger return. There was no thought in my next action as I threw my phone at the wall, losing all control. My hands were shaking and my heart beat rapidly in my chest, as I fought to control my breathing. The next thing I knew I was on the floor feeling like I was about to suffocate. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I clenched my hands together and fought for every breath I took. My dad was probably thinking I was just having a tantrum, so there wasn’t going to be anyone coming to my rescue this time and my medication was too far for me to go get them in this state. This was starting to become a really bad situation.


outfit in gif
her dad doesn't know that she has panic attacks
but yeah, decided she had enough and just blew
up
and this ended up longer then I thought it would
be hope you like it :]



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