I Want to Hold Your Hand

WUT IS THIS?!

This is awesome, that's what.	100.0%	[ 14 ]
Total Votes:			[ 14 ]

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

This be a private onexone for frosty and clompy.
Why? Because we're whores.
Filthy little whoremongers that just can't keep away from each other.

Keep your monkey paws away from that post reply button,
you sneaky little stalkers, you.

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

Three months. It had been three months since those few awful days, and Jonathan was still a bit numb to it all. It still felt, to some degree, unreal. Like at any moment he might wake up, find that it had all been a dream, that he could just creep down the hall to his parents or his brothers bed and not have to sleep alone in this bedroom with its dark walls and too much space. But wishful thinking was all that was. Wishful thinking and unhappiness. He didn’t dislike his grandmother, not always. She was a strict, no-nonsense woman, but there was a warmth to her that had made itself clear quickly enough, after having her young grandson pressed upon her. But she didn’t really understand the needs of an eleven-year-old boy, and though it was no fault of her own, was a far cry from the easy and constant affection the somewhat clingy child was accustomed to.

School had started a few weeks before he’d moved into the old manor, though Jonathan hadn’t had too much trouble catching up. He’d found, to his relief, that they’d been further ahead at his old school, and despite the way everyone stared at him (seemingly all the time), he’d found social interaction no more uncomfortable than it had always been. Painfully shy at best, the boy had yet to make any new friends in any of his 7th grade classes, though not from lack of trying on a few very determined classmates’ parts. The dark-haired boy always clammed up, though – it was difficult to talk to these kids about stupid, trivial things when all he could think about was how he wanted to be somewhere else. But the time would pass eventually, and then the weekend would come.

The weekend. Jonathan was excited, to say the least, to spend it at his aunt’s. Oh, his aunt was great fun and all, but it was easy to say it wasn’t her he was most excited to see. He was more excited by far to spend the weekend with his brother, who he hadn’t seen in person since he’d started school midway through the third week of classes – Nate, who he’d always been used to seeing daily, and had, despite the usual brotherly squabbles, entirely adored.

Now he just had to get though this meeting first.

Meeting. They called it a meeting. What it was, really, was a check-up. How was he doing in school so far? Was he understanding the material? Had he made any new friends here? The teachers had all been very nice to him – even the ones that were nice to nobody, he had heard. They had no doubt been informed of his “situation.” News traveled fast in a small town like this. Everyone probably knew, and still the special treatment would likely give him a reputation, if it hadn't already. He didn’t want the attention. It was better to keep his head down, do the work. . . and wait for those precious visits that his world would quickly come to revolve around.

Yes, he understood the material. He got along with his classmates. Everything was fine. Give them the answers they wanted. They were true enough, or as true as they would ever be. Jonathan had never gotten along particularly well with kids his own age. He didn’t expect that to change now that he was alone.

Eventually, they let him go. Soft footsteps echoed through the empty halls as he hurried for the exit. He was almost there. They would be picking him up from school – though it was probably too early yet. He would have to wait. But they would be here soon, right? They would be here as soon as they could. Yes. That was definitely the case. Hugging his near empty backpack against his chest, the dark-haired boy sank down on the curb and settled in to wait.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

”We thought that it would be perfectly fine for him to start out so late in the school year.”
“Oh, I assure you that he’s fine. It’s just some difficult things he’s going through.”
“That’s still no cause for violence in our hallways.”
“I agree. Trust me, it won’t go unnoticed, Sir. I plan on taking punishment out on him, but I’m going to ask you to let this one go for now if it’s alright. There are quite a few things going on and he’s only fifteen.”

Sitting outside of the office, he could hear his aunt and the principal of his new school conversing. Why couldn’t he be asked to explain himself instead of sitting outside with a bag of ice pressed to his cheek? Nate knew the answer, however. It was because he was new and he was fragile. Fragile. How could he really be that when he was sitting here at the age of fifteen and trying to hold together the one family tie he had? He knew he had to keep it together for Jonathan’s sake. It wasn’t easy being so far away, but it had to happen somehow or another. For the longest time the two of them had leaned on each other and their parents, but now he was all Jonathan had. He had to be strong.

That was why when a couple of boys on the courtyard had started asking all the wrong questions about why Nate had just come around, he’d lost it. It was so easy to do, actually. Ball up your hand and sling it into the nearest body part with all of your weight behind it. It hadn’t helped matters that there were two of them and one of himself. That was how high school was going to be here, wasn’t it? It was all kinds of excuses and reluctance to call his aunt from her office to tell her that she had to speak with the principal, but she didn’t seemed bothered in the least. Sitting and waiting for her was the hardest part, however. Was this going to cause him the weekend with his brother? Had he, who was only trying to help…honest, screwed everything up in the process of trying to stand up for himself? It didn’t seem that way once they got in the car. Nate slumped into the passenger’s side and clicked his seatbelt on before adjusting the bag of ice on his face again.

It wasn’t too far of a drive, but his aunt spoke the whole way there. She went on and on about how he should have been constructive and not destructive and it wasn’t healthy what he was doing to himself by bottling everything up and letting it go like that. Yeah. Right. It felt good. For once, something had felt so real that he didn’t mind it. There weren’t very many friends to be made when everyone just wanted to question your every move and motive. He hadn’t been as social as he had been in the past and he knew it, but what were these people expecting from him? For things to just be fine like they had been before? He’d been pulled apart from his brother and the only thing that really kept him in sync with the world and his reality. It was all he could do to keep from crying as his aunt went on to how disappointed she was that it had to happen so close to the exciting sleepover weekend that they had planned.

”I’m sorry.” His voice muttered quietly, finally looking out of the car window and spotting the familiar intersections on the way to Jonathan’s school. Indigo eyes searched for his brother waiting and spotted him on the curb. Unable to help himself, a smile stretched widely and he rolled down the window in a hurry. ”Jonathaaaaaaaaaaaan!” Chuckling, bag of ice forgotten on the floorboard of the car, Nate waved his arms out of the window, their aunt laughing in the background despite her protest to the motions of her nephew. As soon as she’d stopped the car, Nate jumped out scooped up the smaller boy in his arms and gave him a giant squeeze. ”Were you waiting long? I’m sorry that we took so long! It’d help if Aunt Kathi wouldn’t drive so slow.” Grinning and hearing the woman commenting against it, Nate picked up the backpack and slung it over his shoulder as he opened up the back door to the car and letting Jonathan crawl in first. Of course, he hadn’t thought too much of the red and purple mar on his face, but now he was just far too excited to get this party started.

”You know we’re going to stay up and watch movies and you’re going to have to tell me all about your new school, okay? But I guess we’re going to have pizza for dinner since Aunt Kathi forgot to go grocery shopping.” Leaning in and cupping his brother’s ear so he could whisper, the blond continued on with a chuckle. ”Even though I reminded her all the time!” Making sure they were both buckled in, Nate shut the door, rolled down the window and took a deep breath. Maybe this reset was exactly what he would need to get back on his feet. There was no telling what would hurt or hinder him at this point, but if it kept on, he was just going to keep on going the only way he knew how. ”So! What’d you learn today, Jonathan? What’s your favorite class here?” Ruffling the brother’s hair, Nate relaxed back and smiled, pulling his arm around the smaller shoulders without even asking.

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

Jonathan clutched his near-empty backpack against his chest, tucking his knees up and touching his chin lightly against them. He was confident that they’d get here as soon as they could, and yet, he still felt lonely. He couldn’t wait for the weekend to begin.

He didn’t have to wait long. Only a handful of minutes had passed before a familiar car pulled up, the sound of the engine overridden by a familiar figure waving arms out the passenger window as he called his name. The younger man immediately rose to his feet, dropping his bag in the motion, practically leaping into the blond’s arms for a big hug in his enthusiasm when he got out of the car.

“Nate!” Latching onto the older male, the eleven-year-old hugged his brother with all his might before allowing the embrace to end, indigo eyes quickly zeroing on the mar on the other brother’s cheek as Jonathan took the sight of him in. But before he could ask about the bruise, the older boy was speaking again, retrieving the abandoned backpack and ushering him into the car. The question was momentarily forgotten. “Nuuuuuh, I didn't wait long.”

A soft giggle escaped the younger boy as he climbed into the car, quickly shoving the seatbelt into place around him. “Hi Aunt Kathi!” he directed the greeting happily at the woman in the front seat before returning his attention to Nathan, protesting half-heartedly at the hair-ruffle, grin still happily in place. Swatting at his retreating hands, the younger boy captured one momentarily before the older tucked an arm around him. Despite the seatbelt that kept him from shamelessly snuggling up to the older boy, he felt warm and comfortable and loved. The weekend was going to be great, he knew it. Everything about it. . . everything, the pizza, the movies, just hanging out. . . was going to be wonderful. He knew come the weekend’s end he wouldn’t want to go back.

“School is boring!” he declared boldly with a sudden pout. Truth be told, he’d always loved school – loved it, though he’d never gotten along easily with other children. Well. It was more accurate to say he loved learning, loved especially the more challenging subjects. But here. . . clearly the boy wasn’t being challenged enough at the current level, at yet, if they bumped him up, he’d be behind.

“I like the library,” he added begrudgingly, as though almost unwilling to say anything nice about his new school. But then, given his circumstances, it was a given a boy his age might resent any aspect his disliked about his situation, since the main problem couldn’t be changed. “The librarian’s nice. She lets me come look at books during lunch hour. And look!” Enthusiasm returning, he suddenly scrambled for his backpack, practically ripping the zipper open to pull out what appeared to be some manner of thick, zoology book. There was no way he’d gotten that out of the Jr. High library. Didn’t they just have books like. . . The Babysitter’s Club and The Scarlet Letter?

“Girraffes,” he announced gravely, holding it up to show the picture on the cover. Looked like the boy had a new obsession. It wasn’t like it was surprising. He always seemed to have one, and it changed as frequently as whatever reading material had caught his interest did, anyway.

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

Easily lifting up the boy and swinging him around a time or two with a laugh, Nate was reluctant to actually set him down. Blinding smile on his face, the blond just reached for the bag and hurried the younger boy along. ”Good! If you’d been waiting too long I would have been worried.”

’We wouldn’t have been running late if someone hadn’t gotten into trouble~ But look at how cute you are Jonathan! Are you excited? We already have some of your things over at my place so we don’t need to worry about a thing.’

The singsong voice came from the front, though Nate was already rolling his eyes and turning all of his attention on his brother for the time being. It was worrisome being so far away from the one person he was told he had to protect. All of his family was sitting buckled in right next to him and he couldn’t see Jonathan every day. Sure, they spoke on the phone like clockwork, but that wasn’t enough. There were so many things that could be overheard that Nathan was sure his younger brother might want to talk about…to ask about…anything. It’d be enough to sit in separate rooms and be quiet (though he knew that would hardly be the case between them).

Even as rough and tough as he tried to appear on the outside, the older boy missed those family dinners and the unannounced bursting into his room at odd hours in the afternoon. He missed making popsicles out of fruit juices and teasing Jonathan over the little things. Nathan missed his parents. There was only one thing he missed more and he reached over to ruffle his hair and pull him close again with a smile. ”Awww. School can’t be that bad, can it? Are there any cute girls to help show you around? I’m sure there are. You’ve got to have your big brothers good looks! It runs in the family.” Starting with the teasing, Nate smirked and shook his head. ”It’ll take getting used to, but I’m sure you’ve at least started to make friends and settle in, right? Is your teacher being nice to you? Do I need to talk to them about anything?”

Ignoring the chiding voice from the front seat, Nate turned his indigo eyes to the similarly colored ones as the boy went on about the library. That was one room that he wasn’t so well-versed in at his school. Nate, of course, had found all the necessary things as well as the places that were hidden from view of teachers and patrols by some student organization. He should have known something wasn’t quite right when he’d been tugged over in his first days and grilled through questions about where he came from. Then it was something about how he looked like he was a girl with this ponytail regardless of how short it actually was. Did that make him cut his hair? Hell no. That was his and he was keeping it that way. It was when things went on to poking in his past that he couldn’t keep it together and he went on a rampage between those other boys. Lesson that was learned, idiots needed to keep their mouths shut if they didn’t know what the hell they were talking about.

Still, it was a welcome distraction when the book about giraffes came out of the bag and Jonathan pretty much hid behind it. ”Giraffes, hm? Maybe we can go to the zoo sometime this weekend.” It was said as an afterthought but it really wasn’t a bad idea. It wasn’t as if they weren’t capable of taking care of themselves. They’d just need their aunt to drop them off, set up a time, and then come pick them up. That was easy, right? ”You know how many bones are in a giraffe’s neck?” Tilting his head over to Jonathan, Nate pushed his elbow into his brother before laughing and flicking through the pages.

’Now, boys, you’ll have to go and get the pizza on your own. I have an editing meeting pretty soon and I’m not sure how late I’ll be out. Get whatever it is you want. Nate, the money’s on the counter, and we’ll see about the zoo. Maybe even I can get out of work to come along.’

A smile appeared on the dark haired woman who was smiling widely, tapping the well-manicured nails on the steering wheel before taking off toward her place once more. ”No problem, aunt Kathi. We’ll be sure to leave a note if we go anywhere. We might feel like ice cream later and I’d hate for you to miss that.” Chuckling, he leaned back and then looked back down to Jonathan. ”Though first is homework or we’ll never get anything done, right?” Responsibilities came first. They complained about it together at home but at least this way they could get it finished in a hurry and carry on to all of the fun stuff. ”I bet we can finish it before we get hungry for the pizza and then we won’t have to think about it at all.” There were a few more turns before the familiar building came into sight. Nate was already unbuckled and gathering his bag from the front seat while still holding the book on giraffes to his chest. "Take your time with your meeting. We'll be fine. I'll even try to save a slice or two for you and put it in the oven for when you come home." Opening the door, Nate held his hand out to his brother and grinned, pulling on him until he hopped out and he could shut the door.

"Bet you didn't think we'd have the place to ourselves first, right? I bet I can beat you up the stairs! You remember it's the second floor, right?" Fishing his keys from his pocket, Nate unlocked the main door and let Jonathan in before him. The boy deserved a head start. Slowing his pace until the little brother could hop up on the landing first, the blond just crumpled to his knees on top stair and laid on the floor. "I...I don't think I can go on. Go without me, Jonathan!" Chuckling all the same, he eventually got up and unlocked the apartment door, locking it behind the both of them and then tossing his bag to the side of the door. First thing on his agenda was more ice, his cheek was starting to hurt. "Did you want something to drink? Do you even have any homework to work on?"

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

A shriek escaped the younger boy at the swinging motion, though it was broken by a laugh, and the dark-haired boy was clearly enjoying himself. He grinned idiotically up at his brother, actually managing to look excited at their aunt’s inserted comment. “Trouble?” he echoed as the two boys settled into the back seat. “What did you do?” If it was Nate, it had to be something awesome, even if he were in the wrong. Something like. . . dunno, spiking all the water fountains with kool-aid or something. And if that was the case, well. . . he didn’t really see the problem with that. Sure, kool-aid was kind of gross when it didn’t get mixed up right, and he’d never really been allowed to have very much of it – fruit juice was healthier, of course, and their parents had always insisted they drink it rather than the unhealthier alternatives. He’d developed a preference for it, anyway, though there was nothing wrong with a little kool-aid every now and then, especially for the sake of a good, harmless prank.

But then, who said that’s what he was in trouble for? He supposed he’d just have to wait and find out what Nate said. And then he had to ask him about that bruise! He could try to escape all he wanted, but sooner or later, Jonathan was going to get the question out.

“Cute girls?” The younger boy repeated the words flatly, face screwing up in an expression of confusion and dislike. Clearly he thought the notion was crazy. Cute girls. What were those? Girls were annoying. They were always so loud, squealing and gushing and gossiping over something. And they always tried to touch you when they talked to you. It was horrible. “No way.” He crossed his arms over his chest, chin protruding in a slight pout as he stared at his brother. Cute girls? Really?

“The teachers are nice,” he added begrudgingly. Almost too nice, really. It bordered on. . . pity, was it? Or was that just his own awareness, the fact that his own situation was constantly there in the back of his mind? “You don’t need to talk to them.” The boy seemed almost grumpy at the thought, but then, at the mention of the zoo, his expression lit right back up. “Can we?” Vivid eyes moved between brother an aunt hopefully, the younger boy clearly enthused with the idea. Of course, there were more awesome things at the zoo beside giraffes. To a kid like Jonathan, it was quite a thing to be excited about.

“There are seven bones in a giraffe’s neck,” he announced proudly, his voice stiff and official like he was reading directly from a textbook, “and each can be over ten inches long.” Accentuating the statement with a matter-of-fact nod, he leaned over towards his brother, staring at the pages over his arm as he flipped through them. He read half the book already, and though he’d needed help with a word or two there, he’d loved it so far. Giraffes were so great. He really wanted to see some.

Of course, the boy was also excited at the mention of ice cream. Like most eleven year olds, he was a little ice cream monster, and left unattended with a gallon of his favourite flavour (strawberry), he would almost certainly devour the whole carton – much to the regret of whoever was left in charge of him at the time. His dreaded sugar high was perhaps not as bad as most kids his age, but it certainly seemed to last long enough to make up for it. A slightly smug smile curved his lips at the mention of homework. Homework! Hah! The only homework he’d not bothered to finish already was a little reading assignment. . . and he’d successfully to leave that behind in his locker. He wasn’t worried about it. These classes were so easy. Why did they have to put him in such easy classes? How was he supposed to have any fun like that?

The dark-haired boy unbuckled his seatbelt as the car came to a stop, pulling his near empty (and still open) backpack over his shoulder and capturing Nate’s offered hand, happily allowing him to pull him from the vehicle. “Bye Aunt Kathi!” he called cheerfully before the blond closed the door, waving with his free hand. Yesssssss! Free time alone with Nate! This was the best.

“I’ll bet you can’t!” Jonathan declared loudly, shifting from foot to foot as he waited for his brother to open the door. Please. They both knew Nate could beat him on a bad day – the blond was in better shape than him, besides being four years older. But the younger boy was bound and determined to beat him, and the second that door was open enough for him to squeeze through, he was off, taking any advantage he could get over the more athletic blond. Shorter legs pumped and arms stretched to grab railing and pull himself forward for extra bursts of speed. He didn’t look back until he’d made it to the second floor landing, where he leaned against the railing, breathing heavily, before plopping down happily next to his brother. “I win~!”

“Noooooo~!” he managed between breaths – the boy had really gone all out in his enthusiasm. “I can’t get inside without you!”

And then, eventually, the two got up, and Jonathan dragged himself to the door behind his brother, momentarily tired from his sprint up the stairs. Dropping his backpack near where Nate had tossed his, blue-violet eyes fixed on the book still in the older boy’s hands. It was clear he still had giraffes on the brain.

“Yeessssssss,” he agreed empathically to the first suggestion. After running like that, he was thirsty! As for the second: “No homework,” he declared confidently. Nate couldn’t prove otherwise. Even if he did find out about that reading assignment somehow, there was nothing he could do about it now. He couldn’t make him read that stupid story if he didn’t want to – and it wasn’t like he wouldn’t! Just not. . . until Monday. Before class.

He followed the older boy into the kitchen area, patiently waiting for his promised drink. It had been a while since he’d been here, and he’d never really gotten quite comfortable digging around in cabinets for cups or whatever, family or no. He wasn’t even that comfortable in his own home – or the place he was supposed to be thinking of as home, now – yet. It just wasn’t in his nature to settle in that quickly. And watching the other boy so attentively, a question returned to his mind.

“Hey, Nate,” his tone was straight-forward and sure. “What happened to your face?”

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

It was easy enough to evade Jonathan’s prying questions. Trouble? Of course there was trouble. Inside of his head, Nathan was fighting a battle of trying to survive without appearing weak to his younger brother or the people around him. He couldn’t be picked off so easily so these people were going to have a fight. With a small smirk, the blond shook his head and gave his younger brother’s hair another ruffle before glancing up at the front seat. ”Oh, you know me. Always the trouble maker. You really think I’m getting into trouble already?” Mocking the sadness in his features, his face quickly melted into a smile that was all cheer and smiles. Sure, he was getting into trouble but that wasn’t for Jonathan to be worrying about. He knew that his brother needed to cope and deal with things in time. Nate was going through the same things afterall.

”Awww, come on! Surely there’s a cute girl or two! Or are they all awful?” Leaning in and waggling his eyebrows, the blond just shook his head and sighed. ”At least the teachers are being good to you. You know I worry about you, kiddo.” Holding onto the handle of the door as Kathi took a turn a little quickly, Nate let out a groan and rubbed at his shoulder with a sigh. This really was going to take some getting used to wasn’t it? All of this covering up things that “didn’t really happen”. It was all for a good cause though. Giving a glance over to the dark haired boy, he was almost surprised to see that look of excitement all over his face. ”Well…sure. I mean if we can’t go this time, then the next time. We can make it a special trip if you want to wait until after you’ve finished your book.”

Lifting the volume up and chuckling, he nodded as Jonathan went through the correct answers. Really, that was the only giraffe related trivia Nate knew outside of the color of the animal’s tongue. Still, it was all forgotten at the mention of ice cream and simple lazing around on couches and building blanket forts for the rest of the weekend. It was all almost enough to help Nate forget why they were separated in the first place. It still bothered him that there was no trace of his parents. That much he’d at least been able to pull out of Kathi when she hadn’t had her coffee in the morning. Jonathan, however, was real. He was enough to keep Nate going and keep him from falling off whatever path life was leading him down. It made him wonder what his brother was thinking right at that moment. Or what he thought when he was alone in that quiet old place by himself. Or in the kitchen cooking meals that he’d learned with their mother. From the looks of it, Jonathan didn’t seem to be taking it nearly as hard as Nate thought he would.

Hopping out of the car and waving farewell to his aunt, Nate busied himself with finding his keys and then purposefully lost the race up the stairs with a laugh. It was enough to hear the younger boy laughing. That ring of laughter chased all the melancholy clouds away and Nate was left to open the door and toss his bag aside. Without missing a beat, he reached over and locked the door back at the same time as he pried his shoes off without touching them, the worn out black canvas tennis shoes rather dirty and with a speck or two of blood remaining on the toe. ”Well come on and hop this way. Sit up on one of those stools and I’ll get us some water.” Dropping the book on the breakfast bar, really the glorified top ledge over the kitchen sink, Nate was quick to grab some glasses and chuck some ice into them with a clink. Arching an eyebrow, he turned with a curious look and shook his head. ”I have work to do too. Come on, we can do it together so we have the whole rest of the weekend to have fun.” Just on the tip of his tongue was a statement of ‘It’s like dad always said…responsibility first and fun all the time’ but just how well would that go over now that he was gone?

Setting a glass of ice water next to the book on giraffes, the taller boy hoisted himself onto another stool and shook his head with a laugh. ”You’ll just laugh when you hear it.” Brushing his fingers over the tell-tale markings of a bruise, no doubt near the press of someone’s fingers, Nate just tipped his glass back until half the water was gone. The truth? That was something even he couldn’t handle. He couldn’t even remember what had caused him to throw that punch in the first place. The scariest part? He actually enjoyed it. It felt good, like some kind of release of pent up frustration, anger, and sadness. ”I ran into a locker. Apparently I hurt someone else doing it too so I had to get a talking to. You know how it is when you’re new.” The words leaked too easily out of his mouth because he really didn’t know what it was like to be new. They hadn’t gone anywhere before and now they were both forced to start over without each other.

”But enough about that. How about we decide what we want on our pizza and we can call it in? We’ll waste some time over in the shop down the street and get some snacks for when we’re hungry through the night. Maybe we can even find a movie about giraffes or something for you.” Leaning forward on his elbow, his free hand tugged at the ends of his blond hair with a sigh. It honestly felt as if it were the first breath he’d taken in such a long time that wasn’t absolutely labored. ”But tell me more about what’s going on. I know you tell me on the phone but it’s different when I can watch your face.” Hopping down from his stool, though not before popping a piece of ice in his mouth, Nate refilled himself half a glass and took a small sip of the chilled water. Turning to the cabinet behind him and shuffling through a few pill bottles, he plucked up the one for aspirin, dumped two pills into his hand, and then took them just as soon as he’d put the bottle away again. "She's treating you well, right?"

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

Indigo eyes narrowed suspiciously as hair was ruffled and the he was given a deflecting answer, though it was quickly forgotten as the subject moved on to the topic of cute girls – or the lack of them, as far as Jonathan was concerned. Pout fully in place, the slender boy crossed his arms over his chest. No way. He wasn’t going to be tricked that easily.

“They’re all awful,” he insisted stubbornly. It was as close to the truth that mattered. He didn’t really like anyone at that school. They all stared too much and acted like having a new person around was some great novelty. He already decided: he didn’t like small towns. There was no anonymity at all. Still, his attention was easily drawn away from thoughts of annoying girls or the unfamiliar pressure of living in a small town easily enough by discussion of ice cream and pizza and potential future trips to the zoo, and soon enough they had raced up to the apartment and were inside.

Climbing up onto a stool in front of the counter, Jonathan soon turned his attention to his own glass of water, taking a long careful drink from it before turning his attention to the discarded book. Nate could do homework – he was going to check out some giraffes. They were so cool. He planned to have fun starting now! Still, he gave a small nod at his brother’s comment.

“Responsibility first,” he repeated automatically, having heard the words so many times he thought little of saying them aloud. They were too deeply engrained, now, for otherwise. He opened the book, leafing through the pages as he tried to find where he’d left off.

Having already looked up when he asked the question, the boy just frowned at the declaration that he’d laugh when he heard how Nate had gotten hurt. Jonathan didn’t think that was true. The bruise looked really painful – like however he’d gotten it, he’d hit his face really hard. What was so funny about that? And yet, when the older boy admitted he’d injured himself against a locker, somehow the younger found himself smiling.

“You hurt someone else, too?!” The darker-haired boy’s voice rang with impressed disbelief. “That’s amazing.”

“Piiiiiiiiiizzzzzzaaaaaaa~!” he exclaimed happily, easily distracted from the topic of the bruise by the subject of food. “Can we get one with pineapple on it?” Typical. The boy always did like the weird toppings, but then, he’d always been adventurous when it came to food. “And mushrooms! I like mushrooms!” Back when he’d cooked with Mom, they’d always made jokes about there being killer fungus in their food.

His expression was momentarily grave at the thought as Nate got up to refill his water, but soon enough he smiled again as the subject changed. “I like grandmother,” he declared confidently. “She’s really strict. She doesn’t like people to know she’s nice.” He giggled. She really didn’t seem to, but at the same time, she just couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t really be mean to him, and she always seemed to have little treats here and there or a kind word when you might least expect it. “Did you know she never did anything with Grandfather’s study after he died? It’s all full of books and cool stuff and Grandmother said I can go in there as much as I want as long as I don’t break anything and put everything back where it goes when I’m done.” Of course, all the books were still above his level at this point, but soon enough he’d get there. “And she has her own library – but it’s mostly fully of yucky girly books, so it’s not as good.”

“My room is almost as big as Mom and Dad’s,” he bragged, though his voice wobbled a little at the end of the sentence. “If you came and slept over, we could share my bed and still have plenty of room.” He sniffed. He actually didn’t really like all the open space. He didn’t like waking up in the middle of that empty-feeling room and being all alone. It was so hard to fall back asleep after a bad dream, and he seemed to be having so many of those lately. . . “Aaaaand, I get a bathroom alllll to myself.” The words were meant to come out boastful, but it was clear the boy’s heart wasn’t really in it, and that he was forcing himself a bit to point out good points about his new home when the simple truth of the matter was that he missed the old one, and the family that went with it.

“Grandmother lets me help her cook dinner sometimes,” he added softly, one hand coming up to wipe stubbornly at this eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. The tears were just coming so suddenly. “But it’s not as fun,” he admitted, turning his gaze downward as he finally just fell silent, enthusiasm diminished.

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

He really couldn’t help but chuckle at his brother’s reaction to these girls. When would that change? Would he be able to be there to see it? Hoping it didn’t happen too fast, Nate just nodded and quickly shifted onto their time together instead. The subject change seemed to be all Jonathan needed to jump on board. It was all that Nate had needed as well so the surprise was small even as he let the younger boy beat him in the foot race to the top of the stairs. Really, it didn’t feel like much had changed, did it? Thinking that, he pushed the door open and went to get them some water without another word. His smile stuck even though it was a little bittersweet to hear his brother use the very words he was so hesitant to use himself.

Dropping the glass of water on the counter and carrying on to his own retelling, the blond knew that he’d done a fair enough job of evading anymore of those probing questions. Of course, he wondered just how many times he would have to come up with some kind of excuse or story to sway the younger boy’s attention to something else. No doubt Jonathan would be the one to wiggle his way around to the truth one way or another, but Nathan could only hope that for now…the dark haired boy would be satisfied with this much. ”Ahh, I didn’t hurt them too bad. Just gave them a scare more than anything and I still got into trouble. It’s unbelievable isn’t it?” That was what the aspirin was on his mind for. No doubt this was going to make his head throb even more if they carried on like this.

”Pineapple and mushrooms? How about we get pineapple on all of it and we’ll get half of it with mushrooms and the other half with…hm…chicken? Or maybe ham. We can decide when we order it.” Reaching over to scuffle his younger brother’s hair once more, Nate finished off his water and slid off the stool to get some more and his pills before he forgot. He knew that Jonathan had heard him but the pause made him wonder if there was something bothering the boy on the stool. What he heard were all things that he’d suspected about their grandmother. She seemed so old-fashioned compared to their aunt and their parents but she was stable and willing to take Jonathan in. Nate could fend for himself to a degree, but no doubt their grandmother would step in if Jonathan needed anything. That was why Nate was okay with being split up…so long as he got to call as often as he liked and visit just the same. It had taken a toll on the both of them even if neither of them were willing to show it.

He kept his back turned, fiddling with the pill bottle, while Jonathan carried on about their grandfather’s study and other things about the house where he lived. ”Does it still have that same smell? You know…the one that’s all…I don’t know how to describe it. Grandfather-y?” It was a lame insert to the story, but Nate tried anyway before leaning against the counter behind him and popping the pills. His eyes rested on the boy as he picked up the conversation again, watching him carefully. The voice began to waver some as the boy continued, softened as well. As soon as the words ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ left his mouth, the blond knew something was up. Glazing over the surprise of hearing it, he just sipped his water and watched as it all happened. There was the wibble of the lip…and the furrowed brow and that determined look to the counter. His voice wavered even more and it took all Nate had to stay still until Jonathan was finished.

It broke his heart. None of this was what they wanted and here they were, the two left behind. Sure, it was a terrible accident and the kind of thing that was only found in fantasy stories, but they were living and breathing proof that it was possible to move on and it was possible to be haunted by those ghosts. Setting his glass down on the counter, Nate propelled himself over to the stool where Jonathan was. Reaching to the seat beneath his brother, he lifted and turned it so Jonathan was no longer facing the counter but facing him. No time was wasted as his arms laced quickly around the small trembling body. ”I know…” The crying was bound to get harder. His own eyes glazed over as he bit his lip to try and hold it in despite the single tear falling down his cheek already. ”I know…” His voice cracked as he buried his face into Jonathan’s shoulder. Arms gripped tighter to the boy and Nate was reminded that this was very real. They were both there and they couldn’t sit and wallow for forever. Even if all of this was still so new and so different, they had to pick up and be strong. This was about adjusting and their parents would have hated this.

”It’ll never be the same, Jonathan, but we have each other, right?” Giving him one final squeeze, Nate let his hands trail upward to rest on Jonathan’s neck lightly. Using his thumbs, he guided the boy’s head upward to look at his face. ”If we’re all we’ve got…then we have to stay together. No matter what.” A small grin fell across his face and he leaned forward to kiss Jonathan’s forehead before using his thumbs to wipe away at his cheeks. ”And we have each other for this whole weekend, so we have to have enough fun to last us through the whole week, right?” Clearing his throat, Nate let loose of his brother and then ran his fingers through his own hair with a sigh. ”Starting with pizza, right? We can call that in and head down to the shop. I think we both deserve some ice cream, kiddo.”

Unable to resist, he closed the gap once more and pulled his arms around Jonathan once more to give a lingering squeeze. Why was it so hard to let go? Obviously, neither of them had let go of their parents. That much was certain in Nate’s head. Loosening his arms again, a chuckle sounded once more as he retreated to the drawer of take-out menus and plucked one to a pizza place. ”Pineapple and mushroom…large…and I think we should get some cheese sticks too. What about you?” Reaching for the phone, he dialed the numbers and looked up to Jonathan expectantly with a small smile that betrayed his still watery eyes.

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

“That’s not fair!” the younger boy proclaimed, expression forming a pout. No doubt had he been there for the event itself – if big brother were telling the truth, in any case – he’d had been unable to keep from interfering. Such was the eleven-year-old’s sense of justice, and the scope of his brother worship. “If you didn’t hurt anyone, you shouldn’t have gotten in trouble.” Arms remained crossed over a scrawny chest until the mention of pizza and they were smacked enthusiastically against the open book as he declared his toppings of choice.

“. . .okay,” he conceded at the suggested compromise. Obviously mushrooms and pineapple was the better option, but chicken or ham wasn’t bad either. And wasn’t grandmother always telling him he needed to eat more meat? Maybe she’d already co-conspired with Nate on this point. He wouldn’t put it past her. Somehow, she always seemed to know everything. It was scary. Some kind of creepy grandmother super powers. . .

He would pick all the pineapple off and eat them first! Aha~! Take that!

The boy paused in his telling to give a small nod at the question – the study did in fact still have the lingering smell of the person it had belonged to, despite its weekly cleaning regiment, no doubt due to the volumes lovingly cared for all those years by the man. He didn’t linger on the thought for very long, continuing his monologue on the benefits – or not so benefits, depending on how deeply you read into his tone – of his new home. Next thing he knew, his spirits had sunk completely, words having trembled past his lips beyond conscious control and gaze fixed blankly down in front of him as he blinked back tears. That old house was just so big. . . so quiet. . . so different from the warm, cozy environment he was so used to.

Shimmering indigo eyes lifted to gaze at the other boy as he moved to turn the stool he was sitting in, smaller hands gripping the blond’s shirt as he was hugged to his chest. Fighting tears was pointless now. They flowed freely of their own accord, and some small, frustrated sound escaped him as he pressed his face against the other’s shirt. And for a few long moments, the two remained as such.

Automatically, the younger boy resisted when the other started to pull away, hands resting against his neck and face to guide him to meet his eyes. The boy managed a wobbly smile at his brother’s words – and equally uneven expression – strangely soothed by the feel of his larger hands against his face, wiping away the tears still escaping from reddened eyes.

He swallowed, and unable yet to speak, managed a slight nod. No matter what. Those were the words that mattered. Jonathan loved his grandmother and aunt, but Nate was the most important thing he had left. And they had to keep having that, no matter what. His world had been turned around too much already to lose him, too.

Sniffling still, the dark-haired boy reached up to wipe the last of his tears from his eyes, relieved the flow seemed to finally be slowing. The blond moved in for another hug, and the smaller boy wrapped his arms around him – or as far around him as his shorter arms could reach – and clung tightly until the other pulled back again. And then, just like that, they were trying to focus on pizza and ice cream like everything was normal.

But then, Nate was right. They had this limited time together, so they had to have as much fun as possible to hold them over until they could see each other again. Right now. . . that was all they had.

The dark-haired boy’s chin lifted slightly with determination as he followed his brother’s movements. If Nate could be strong, so could he! He could be at least as strong as Nate – or at least, that was the goal. The goal was always to somehow catch up to his brother, though it was impossible enough, as far as goals went. There was no catching up to Nate. There was no ever being that awesome.

“Cheese sticks would b-be yummy.” His voice came out soft, and still a little wobbly, to boot, but it was clear the younger boy was trying hard. He took a long drink from his glass of water, gaze shifting to the book in front of him – settling on a picture of a juvenile giraffe nibbling on leaves – as he struggled to think of anything but the very thing he’d be crying about. But that was always difficult, wasn’t it? Once you started crying, it seemed like your woes were all that was on your mind.

But Nate had said they could get ice cream, and they had a yummy pizza ahead of them, not to mention a potentially giraffe-filled movie. With so many good things to distract himself with, how could he not manage even that?

Indigo-shaded eyes lifting to meet the blond’s gaze as he reached for the phone, he gave a determined smile. “Can we get strawberry flavoured?” This time, his voice was steadier, and scrawny arms crossed over a narrow chest as though daring him to contradict his tastes in food. Strawberry was obviously the best flavour of ice cream, and Jonathan didn’t care what anyone said – it in no way clashed with the taste of pineapple and mushroom pizza.

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

Well, Jonathan certainly had a lot to learn, didn’t he? There were a million things in life that weren’t really fair and this was the least of all of them. Of course it was a lie…but what Jonathan didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right? It’d only gotten a few bumps and bruises awarded to himself instead. Still, it was easy to move from that and right on to the pizza. ”Come on, it’s not all that bad. And we’ll cook with each other tomorrow, how about that? What should we have? Or would you rather go out?” Turning his eyes on his brother, Nathan just smiled and leaned against the counter before going to get his refill of water.

He should have known better, actually. Everything was still so fresh in their minds that he had known to expect this, but what else could he actually do? Feeling that tremble and shudder in his arms just made it worse because it was exactly how Nate was feeling on the inside. He hated everything about this school save for a few saving graces. He hated being away from Jonathan and knowing that the younger boy needed him. It wasn’t a want to be near him but almost a need. Nate felt like he’d been the support beam for Jonathan…a guiding hand even though they’d had their parents as well. Now it was all broken into pieces and made even worse by being split up the way they were.

Tightening his arms around the shaking boy, Nate just rocked back and forth and tried to make things better by the same shushing and cooing noises their mother had made when they were younger. Each noise caught in his throat and brought on his own tears as he choked over the very noises that were such fond memories even though they’d been sad at one point. His words were stuttered out even though he was confident in every one of them. They did have each other. That was it. They were the only two left of what used to be a tight-knit family. Now they had to live their lives away from one another and hope that someday they would be able to patch things together again. Traditions were broken all the time, right? They would make new ones…better ones together. Somehow. Someday. Nate let his hands press along Jonathan’s back and then up to his shoulders with a sigh. With the tears subsiding, he felt better for it even if they’d both been sobbing.

At least their aunt hadn’t been around to see it or she would’ve made things worse.

He had to push, as much as he didn’t want to. Nate had to pull them out of this rut or they’d be sitting around and moping all weekend. He knew they could do that too. ”They do…don’t they?” Keeping his voice low and staying close, he reached a hand to Jonathan’s face once more and brushed aside some of the tears before reaching for the menu and the phone. Putting in their order for the pizza as well as the cheesesticks, he came closer to Jonathan and wrapped an arm around his shoulders once more. It calmed him down to the point of smiling at least. ”Twenty minutes? Of course. We’ll be there to pick it up. Thank you.” Thumb hitting the button on the cordless phone and setting it on the counter, he gave Jonathan a little push before sitting on his stool and sipping at his water again.

”Strawberry flavored? I think we can manage that. Maybe we can both get something different and one for Aunt Kathi too…then we can share. Should we get sprinkles? Whipped cream?” Words dropping off of his lips, he ran his finger along the lip of his glass before sighing and putting his palm on the counter. ”Come on. We’ll go to the store and get some juice and maybe even soda to drink over the weekend, hm? Are you ready? Are you okay?” Concentrating on the reaction, Nate tilted his head to get a look at his brother’s face before standing and stretching his arm into the air. The crackle of his spine sounded with a sequence of low cracks and he shivered because of it. ”That couldn’t have been good…I…I don’t know if I can…Ahhhhh!” Luckily, he’d done it close enough to the couch that he could fall over limply with a chuckle. ”I don’t know if I can get up without any help! And the pizza will be waiting on us soon! And that ice cream…I guess we’ll just have to stay in forever. Forever and ever…and ever.” Hoping it was enough to get the younger one going, he put a hand over his face melodramatically and waited to hear that scamper of footsteps to let him know that yes…everything was going to be okay and they could very well be going on with their weekend.

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

“Yesssssssssss~!” Jonathan lit up at the mention of cooking together the following day, obviously approving of the idea. But what to make? There were like a gazillion options. Obviously they’d just have to go to the grocery store and figure something out, as the boy could only promise to think about it before he found himself rambling on about his new home. Soon enough, the younger boy was clinging to the older, crying openly. Delicate hands clenched tightly in soft cotton as he pressed his face against the older boy’s shirt. Trembling limbs were soothed as the older boy’s arms tightened around him, gently rocking and calming with soft, familiar noises – and even as the younger boy’s sobbing subsided, the younger boy found himself not wanting to move away from the embrace, the warm hands moving comfortingly up his back.

But inevitably, someone had to pull away, though the beloved older brother remained close enough to touch his face, wiping away lingering tears before looping an arm around his shoulders as he made their order over the phone. Jonathan frowned as the light shove the other boy gave him before returning to his stool, then stuck his tongue out at him in a childish expression of defiance. Tears and the comforting of aside, brothers could be such brats!

“Yes!” he exclaimed, a note of defiance still lingering in his tone. He dared push him? Oh, he’d show him. There would be so much sugar. . . no one was sleeping tonight. Fu fu fu. “And syrup, too!” Indigo-tinted eyes stared gave a hard stare even through lingering sniffles, and scrawny arms tightened over his chest, waiting for the older boy to dare refuse. He had needs, dangit, and they included caramel syrup on his strawberry ice cream. And whipped cream. And sprinkles. And you know what? Maybe he’d make him get walnuts, too. Take that!

“Okay!” he exclaimed a little too enthusiastically – clearly overcompensating – as he hopped off the stool to his feet. Was he okay? Well. The only way to say yes without crying again was to show that it was true, rather than answer the question directly. Why was it people always asked you if you were okay after you finished crying, anyway? Didn’t they know that answering that always made the waterworks return? And juice. . . well, he loved the promise of both juice and soda, of course, though it was typical to guess which he’d prefer, especially with the sugar high he was aiming for. Sleep? Pfff. Who needed sleep? It was a weekend, and he intended to spend as little of it sleeping as possible. After all, the less time spent sleeping meant more time hanging out with his brother. He could sleep when he got home.

Eyes initially widened in alarm at the loud pops that crackled down the older boy’s spine and the exclamation that followed. However, quickly realizing how serious the situation wasn’t, the boy grinned, a low growl emitting from his smaller body. “Nooooo!” he exclaimed enthusiastically as the taller boy “collapsed” on the nearby sofa, his fingers already curling in anticipation. Feet thumped against the floor as he hurled himself towards him, leaping onto the older boy and wiggling hands against ribs with the expert instincts of an awakened tickle monster – enthusiastic growls included, apparently.

No, there would be no staying in forever. Nate’s choices were pizza – or death by tickling. Or both, judging by the alternating giggles and growls. Both was very likely without immediate intervention.

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

Cooking. One of the few joys that Jonathan still had, right? Nate was no hand as a cook but he could still chop and watch and sit and talk while the other did a lot of the cooking. He didn’t mean for it to sound as if it were a distraction, but they would do it together and it would be fun. With a nod, he smiled a little. ”We’ll go to the store tomorrow then and get everything we need. We’ll have to find something we can manage without Aunt Kathi’s help.” That was settled and out of the way and soon enough the waterworks began. Sure, it was inevitable, but it did have to happen. There wasn’t going to be a weekend in any near future that one of them didn’t have some kind of reaction to there being half of the family gone.

Soon enough he pried away and ordered up the food, hopping back into place to be close soon after. Ice cream…no doubt that was something even he was looking forward to. Chocolate was a comfort and something that Kathi tried to keep out of the house simply so she wouldn’t gorge herself on it. ”And syrup too…” He repeated the words with a wide smile and a nod. ”Caramel like before…right? And maybe something else too. Chocolate? Strawberry syrup? That’d be a lot of strawberry for you, kiddo.” It was getting easier and it seemed like the mood was already lightening. A good sign for sure. Hopping down and looking over at Jonathan, Nate made the fatal mistake of asking if he was okay. It was a reflex. Who could really stop something that had been the same for years and years?

Still that was given up the moment he stretched his arms in the air. Ahhh. That sound made him cringe and sigh in relief at the same time. Turning that into a quick groan, he flopped onto the sofa and waited. It was all it would take, right? Just those few simple motions and…AH. There it was. Laughing before the boy even reached him, the brunette just wiggled and twitched around on the sofa. His arms came up to try and push Jonathan away but it was all half-hearted. This was one thing he could do for a while and not get sick of it. ”Ahhh! The Tickle Monster! HE GOT ME!” Broken up between laughs, the plea was mostly ignored until Nate finally curled his fingers at his brother’s ribs and gave him a taste of his own medicine. Satisfied with the sounds of laughter, his arms finally moved around Jonathan and squeezed him to his chest as the laughter finally subsided and he caught his breath once more.

”I bet the Tickle Monster is hungry though, hm? Let’s get the keys and we’ll go to the store!” Lurching into a seated position, legs still partially dangling over the arm of the couch, he made sure the younger one was sturdy on his feet before hopping up and pulling his shirt right again. ”Besides, how else are we going to stay up all night if we don’t have ice cream and pizza?” Offering a ruffle of the hair, Nate took his long steps back to the kitchen and shuffled around for his keys on the counter. Catching them in the loop on his finger, he gave them a twirl and gave a whistle to the room to round Jonathan up, the door already open. ”Now I’m not going to race you to the store too. But you’d better stay close, okay?” Locking the door after them, he started down the stairs and back out on the street, pointing the way around the block to the corner store that he often frequented on his own. ”Small grocery, huh? It has everything we need though~” He dropped to whisper into the boys ear before taking his wrist and dragging him along toward the line of freezers near the back of the store.

[CLOMP-a-saurus]

》xxJonathanxx《

Jonathan gave a serious nod. Yes, syrup! Ice cream condiments were serious business, you know. You had to put as much goodies on your ice cream as would fit. It was like. . . a law. “Caramel,” he agreed. He’d always loved caramel on his ice cream, and of course Nate remembered that. “And chocolate.” Though, really, he was more likely to use the caramel, or at least more of it than chocolate, but chocolate syrup was good on all kinds of things, even if he didn’t eat it with his ice cream. Maybe he could talk them into letting him put it on his pancakes the next morning. . .

. . .or maybe he’d have to be sneaky and do it before they realized what he was up to. Heh heh heh.

The dark haired boy gave a happy shriek as the older boy turned the tables on him, curling fingers against his smaller ribs and giving him a taste of his own medicine. Giggling uncontrollably, the boy writhed with glee against the cough, his laughter slowly slowing to spurts before eventually fading away as the tickling was abandoned for a quick (and very welcome) hug as the younger boy caught his breath.

“Yessssssss~!” He agreed loudly, seeming to catch his breath long enough for the exclamation, at least, as he stumbled to his feet. Oh, the tickle monster was hungry for sure. The tickle monster fully intended to ingest as much sugar as possible – the better to never sleep again. He grinned widely as his hair was ruffled and a similar sentiment was expressed, waiting by the front door as the older boy retrieved his keys.

“’cause you know you’ll lose,” he declared with far more confidence than was warranted. Grinning up at the older boy, he caught his hand, swinging their arms between them as they made the short walk to the corner store. His hand dropped from the older boy’s as they entered the grocery store, but likely sensing the array of goodies the boy was remembering could be acquired at grocery stores, Nate caught his wrist shortly after and pulled him towards the back of the store where the freezers were located. Quickly remembering the specific sweets they were there for, soon enough the younger boy was pulling the older along, only coming to a halt as they reached the ice cream section.

“Strawberry!” He pointed to his favourite brand, a familiar stubborn expression coming over his features. One did not skimp when it came to ice cream. Ice cream was serious business. “What else?” Aunt Kathy liked chocolate, right? He wasn’t completely sure, but that seemed to be what he remembered. And Nate. . .

“Vanilla?” he suggested. Vanilla was a good canvas for toppings, and he knew Nate ate it. Chocolate, too. But if he suggested Vanilla, maybe they’d end up getting all three. After all, they had to get something Aunt Kathy liked, too. It wouldn’t be fair not to include her. And then, of course, there were the toppings: sprinkles, nuts, whipped cream, syrup. . .

Fighting the glee that filled him, the dark-haired boy directed an attempted at a fairly neutral, questioning expression at the older boy, mentally willing him to agree with his unspoken desires – desires for as much ice cream as he could fit in his little tummy in the shortest time span possible. And once he got a taste of that delicious sweetness – well, very little could get between the boy and ice cream, suffice to say. The stern expressions and longer reach of their now-gone parents had been one of those things. Nate? Not so much.

xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx ☁ xxx ☂ xxx
We will carry on hand in hand.
We won't forget we have each other - never!
Love is in the hearts of all men.
You're not alone.

[December Frost]

xxxxxxxN A T H A Nxxxxxxx
◈ I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this...like every inch of me is bruised ◈

”Yeah yeah, I might lose but at least I’ll know where I’m going, hm?” Laughing a bit, he locked the door after them and hopped on down to the sidewalks of the streets below. It was nice living in the city instead of having to be however far away. Nate was allowed to come and go as he pleased and if he didn’t walk, he usually biked. The school was a little ways out…but that’s what buses were for. Overall, he was rather pleased with where he’d managed to land. Sure. It got noisy and obnoxious from time to time but it was never too much to complain about. At least here was always noise and there was always Kathi and when she wasn’t there, he could call Jonathan.

Settling into this new lifestyle was so much harder than he wanted it to be even if he’d forgotten in the short walk to the store. It almost felt like they’d never been separated. How long would that feeling really last? With as eager as Jonathan was, not anytime soon. Leading him back to the ice cream…or trying to and eventually being dragged along the path, Nate stumbled a bit and laughed once they were in front of the cases. ”Strawberry for you…and we’ll get Vanilla for Aunt Kathi so she doesn’t completely kill us for taunting her with all the chocolate.” Not bothering to pull the door open and get the cartons just yet, he narrowed his eyes along the labels and followed them with his finger as he tried to decide. ”What about cookie dough? Ohhhh Cookies and Cream. I haven’t had any of that…” He paused, hand drooping slightly as he remembered exactly who it was that had given him the particular flavor last.

Smile still etched into his face regardless of how fake it seemed, he moved to open up the door and pulled one of the cartons of strawberry to hand it off to Jonathan, letting him carry his own loot, before reaching for one of chocolate and one of vanilla without another word. ”The toppings are around the corner…” With a gentle nudge of his hip, Nate tried to guide the younger one toward the end cap of all sorts of sprinkles and syrups to douse over the dessert. His own mind was far from it as he remembered over the time he’d gone out with his father…when his father had told him to take care of Jonathan while they were away on a trip. Nate was supposed to be responsible…to watch over Jonathan and make sure everything was kept as normal as possible. Did their father expect something to happen? What happened to them? Clearing his throat and catching something out of the corner of his eye, Nate laughed and reached to the top of the rack for the chocolate syrup. ”So here’s the chocolate syrup…we’ve got to pick the others quick! Or else our ice cream will melt and our pizza will be cold by the time we go get it. Caramel…and strawberry syrup…and sprinkles of all sorts of color. I think that’s it, right? Oh! Drinks. We’ll just make a big loop and borrow one of their baskets. We can bring it back tomorrow when we come get what we need for dinner. What do you want to drink for dinner? Or all through the night I guess…” At least one thing could be said…Nate wasn’t going back on the promise he’d made to his father over that cookies and cream ice cream.