Transtastic! ||The Chat Thread||

Do you agree to the new rules of this thread and promise to uphold them if we are moved back? (Read first post, first page)

I agree.	67.0%	[ 260 ]
I disagree.	6.2%	[ 24 ]
I don't want to read them.	8.0%	[ 31 ]
Who cares?	2.6%	[ 10 ]
Gold.	16.2%	[ 63 ]
Total Votes:			[ 388 ]

[Syndactyly]

Sephroe Zion

It appears that you are seeking confirmation from others that you are a man by indirectly comparing yourself to them. Would this be accurate?

Hmmm. No. I know I'm a man, there's no issue there.

But perhaps confirmation for my own masculinity might be an accurate statement. I have a lot of fears regarding my own masculinity. This fear, however, is not the motivation behind everything I said, or everything you quoted. A lot of what you quoted had to do with me seeing what I considered to be rational errors... and I can't just leave that s**t hanging, I gotta address it.

[Syndactyly]

Sephroe Zion

Just an FYI I need to be getting to bed. I hate to bail out at this time but I have work at 8am tomorrow and I'm buying a scooter tomorrow.

Damn, if I was only here a few minutes sooner. Oh well, great thing about the forums is that they don't go anywhere. smile

My friend got a pink vespa a while back. He loves the damn thing, lol...

[EmotronPlays]

Syndactyly

Sephroe Zion

Just an FYI I need to be getting to bed. I hate to bail out at this time but I have work at 8am tomorrow and I'm buying a scooter tomorrow.

Damn, if I was only here a few minutes sooner. Oh well, great thing about the forums is that they don't go anywhere. smile

My friend got a pink vespa a while back. He loves the damn thing, lol...

I read your fallow up, no worries, and I'll be back to address it later on tomorrow evening, my brain is just turning to mush making it very hard for me to interact with you at my best.

[Lupin_Therian]

Breayue

Syndactyly

Siletta

And those who want to transition because they hate their sex,
rather than because they want to better match their gender,
have my pity.
I can't imagine how horrible it would be to hate yourself that much.

I'm surprised anyone even agreed with me, because so many people say that my views on the self-hate issue is transphobic. "THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WAY OF KNOWING THEIR GENDER" etc etc. Except they don't. Hating their own gender is not the same as actually being the other gender... :/

Yeah, I see a lot of otherkin saying "those damn humans" and "humans are foolish" and stupid s**t like that. They can't avoid that they ARE human.

Ugh, I hate that too. I know another therian [-I'm a therian-] who had that "higher than thou" attitude towards humans and was in constant denial that she is human.
.When is comes to being FtM with me, some days I feel more in touch with my feminine side...other days I'm very masculine and do things that make me feel more manly...

I hope I don't come off to you guys as gender-confused or something...my genderbendering (intelligent use of a word -facepalm-] is like a switch, and a 50/50 type of thing...

Am I making any sense?

Forgive me if not

Who is Remy....?

___________________________________________________________


I know gonk I hate therians/otherkin who do that.
I personally love other humans and totally accept myself as one. Sure, man kind makes mistakes and they can seem pretty heartless but overall, I see much good. The actions of few misdefine the actions of many.
I'm typically more of a contherian mindset so I understand what you mean about 50/50 gender.
As for my gender, I donno, I'm still confused it seems. I don't want to change my bottom bits, I'm satisfied with them, but my moobs I resent with a passion. I want to grow facial hair, I think I'd look pretty damn sexy. And while I act manly sometimes I'm still pretty flamboyant, but I like it that way... I think. I much prefer the male pronouns and being perceived as a male. I don't mind being called "Ma'am" or "she" too much but I prefer the former. Blah.
___________________________________________________________

Any more questions?

[Lupin_Therian]

Syndactyly

Breayue

Syndactyly

Siletta

And those who want to transition because they hate their sex,
rather than because they want to better match their gender,
have my pity.
I can't imagine how horrible it would be to hate yourself that much.

I'm surprised anyone even agreed with me, because so many people say that my views on the self-hate issue is transphobic. "THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WAY OF KNOWING THEIR GENDER" etc etc. Except they don't. Hating their own gender is not the same as actually being the other gender... :/

Yeah, I see a lot of otherkin saying "those damn humans" and "humans are foolish" and stupid s**t like that. They can't avoid that they ARE human.

Ugh, I hate that too. I know another therian [-I'm a therian-] who had that "higher than thou" attitude towards humans and was in constant denial that she is human.
.When is comes to being FtM with me, some days I feel more in touch with my feminine side...other days I'm very masculine and do things that make me feel more manly...

I hope I don't come off to you guys as gender-confused or something...my genderbendering (intelligent use of a word -facepalm-] is like a switch, and a 50/50 type of thing...

Am I making any sense?

Forgive me if not

Honestly, I don't know if I'd say you sound gender confused. But you border on the line of what I was talking about when I was mentioning FtMs who "act like girls." But you're like, on the line. Not totally immersing yourself in, "soooo guys i was like and this and that and he was so cute and omg ^_^ <3" (not saying all girls act like this).

EDIT: I don't know why I ignored the therian part of the post. Yeah, on that subject, it's just weird that some therians/furries/otherkins will deny they're human. >_> I just don't get it.

Who is Remy....?

___________________________________________________________


I'm human. :3 Way human.

I'm not one of those guys right? o.o
___________________________________________________________

Any more questions?

[Lupin_Therian]

Who is Remy....?

___________________________________________________________

-not reading all that-
Anybody want to give me a brief?
___________________________________________________________

Any more questions?

[Breayue]

Lupin_Therian

Who is Remy....?

___________________________________________________________

-not reading all that-
Anybody want to give me a brief?
___________________________________________________________

Any more questions?

Well, Sephroe Zion and Syndactyly were discussing some traits Syndactyly has that he might want to reflect and work on, like being very critical.

Lupin_Therian

I don't want to change my bottom bits, I'm satisfied with them, but my moobs I resent with a passion. I want to grow facial hair.

I don't want to change what's between my legs either, and if my fiance was less attached to my boobs I would get a mastectomy and get some testosterone pills so that perhaps I could work out and have more of a guys built. The facial hair irks me though,I would deal with it.

And to answer your question Syndactyly, I would like to he and him to be used here. Overall I don't mind either pronoun.

[Syndactyly]

Lupin_Therian

Syndactyly

Breayue

Syndactyly

Siletta

And those who want to transition because they hate their sex,
rather than because they want to better match their gender,
have my pity.
I can't imagine how horrible it would be to hate yourself that much.

I'm surprised anyone even agreed with me, because so many people say that my views on the self-hate issue is transphobic. "THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WAY OF KNOWING THEIR GENDER" etc etc. Except they don't. Hating their own gender is not the same as actually being the other gender... :/

Yeah, I see a lot of otherkin saying "those damn humans" and "humans are foolish" and stupid s**t like that. They can't avoid that they ARE human.

Ugh, I hate that too. I know another therian [-I'm a therian-] who had that "higher than thou" attitude towards humans and was in constant denial that she is human.
.When is comes to being FtM with me, some days I feel more in touch with my feminine side...other days I'm very masculine and do things that make me feel more manly...

I hope I don't come off to you guys as gender-confused or something...my genderbendering (intelligent use of a word -facepalm-] is like a switch, and a 50/50 type of thing...

Am I making any sense?

Forgive me if not

Honestly, I don't know if I'd say you sound gender confused. But you border on the line of what I was talking about when I was mentioning FtMs who "act like girls." But you're like, on the line. Not totally immersing yourself in, "soooo guys i was like and this and that and he was so cute and omg ^_^ <3" (not saying all girls act like this).

EDIT: I don't know why I ignored the therian part of the post. Yeah, on that subject, it's just weird that some therians/furries/otherkins will deny they're human. >_> I just don't get it.

Who is Remy....?

___________________________________________________________


I'm human. :3 Way human.

I'm not one of those guys right? o.o
___________________________________________________________

Any more questions?

I don't see you that way. You have flamboyance and some feminine traits but not like a girl. More like a feminine guy. There's a subtle difference between the two but it's there.

[Syndactyly]

Breayue

Lupin_Therian

I don't want to change my bottom bits, I'm satisfied with them, but my moobs I resent with a passion. I want to grow facial hair.

I don't want to change what's between my legs either, and if my fiance was less attached to my boobs I would get a mastectomy and get some testosterone pills so that perhaps I could work out and have more of a guys built. The facial hair irks me though,I would deal with it.

And to answer your question Syndactyly, I would like to he and him to be used here. Overall I don't mind either pronoun.

Thanks for clearing that up.

See, I don't see why someone would determine their transition on what OTHERS think. "If he liked my boobs less, I'd get them cut off." I don't get that. Why would how someone else feels about your body make you (not) want to change it? Shouldn't this be about how you feel about your own body? If you really want to be a man physically and have your chesticles removed, this will eventually put strain on your relationship because he is trying to control your bodily domain. I would immediately break up with someone who schmoozed, "Don't cut of your boobs, they're so cute and soft!" Gone. He'd be gone, no questions asked. No love is so strong for me that I can let someone control my body.

[The Viscount]

Heh .. well Dan, I think Breayue and I are in the same boat. Both of our fiance's are quite attached to our chests. When you're not in a relationship, it's easy to say that a hypothetical mates' opinion/wants/needs wouldn't affect you in any way, but that's not how it works in the real world. In a relationship, you care, usually deeply, about how the other person perceives you. You want them to be attracted to you, to love you physically as well as mentally, and to stay with you. If you love someone fiercely, you do sometimes give up some of your own wants and needs. As do they. It's compromise.

I went through this with my fiance. I'm still going through it. It's partially why I put off a mastectomy for so long. My fiance seems to have become a bit more okay with it - but there is still a lot of discomfort.

I know, I know, love should be all about freedom, expressing how you really are, blah blah blah. But in a real relationship, especially a long term one (the boy and I have been living together for four years now, and dating far longer) compromises must be made. Not everything can be hunky-dory between two people. You might find the love of your life, but they're not going to be perfect. They're going to have differing opinions, and they're going to want different things out of the relationship than you do. It's all those other things that we love about our mates - those are the things that keep us together. And sometimes, with enough time a patience, ones' mate will sometimes even come around and accept your needs. (Not all the time, but sometimes.) That's why it's not wise to just jump the boat. "Oh, you don't feel comfortable with me wanting to get my breasts removed? Well, see ya mister. Who cares that we've been together for years and are basically soul-mates!"

I'm not saying that it's out of the question to leave someone over this - sometimes they really never come around, and just don't accept it. In that case, there's really not anything to stick around for. But you've got to at least try.

[GaijinGuy36]

Okay, so. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've come up with a theory. Let me share it, and I'll be glad to see if anyone here thinks I've got any sound reasoning, or just a whole big flock of bats in my attic.

Now, one problem I've had with past relationships with women is the whole issue of sex. There are a whole pack of different reasons why a woman may not be able to be brought into the mood for a bit of consummation. It could be her period, it could be she's trying to get over a bug of some kind or another, or it could be that she's aggravated about something and sex is just the last thing on her mind. I'm sure I'm not the only guy who's been through at least one of those scenarios.

However, let's look at the other side of it. Genetic girls will forever be strangers to such embarrassing and unpleasant experiences as surprise erections at really inappropriate times, blue balls, and the agony that results from a hard punt right to the nuggets. There's not anything I can think of that can equate to that level of pain, that it just makes you want to go fetal and just weep like a baby. And on the same token, genetic girls will never understand the exact urges, drives, and needs of a man, because they have wholly different bodies. Not just equipment-wise, either, but hormonally and even mentally, i.e. brain chemistry.

Here's where my theory comes in. I propose the idea that if anyone could relate well and properly to a man's needs, it would most likely be a MtF transsexual. After all, they've spent a portion of their life as a male member of society, and have been through a fair share of the same experiences.Therefore, it's my theory that a relationship between a male and a MtF would have a lot fewer nights of 'You're always thinking with that damn thing, aren't you?' and a lot more fulfillment of mutual need due to empathy, shared experiences, and understanding.

TO BE CLEAR: This is just a theory I've cobbled together after a good while of thought, and it sounds solid enough to me. Yes, seriously. It's not meant to be in any way offensive, and if it does bother anyone, I apologize for it in advance. I'm not trying to put genetic girls down, because I'm really not a bitter, hateful misogynist. Just a (nearly) normal guy, doing a little outside-the-box thinking.

Discuss?

[Flameinexile]

Back from Turkey at long last.
Sorry I don't linger as much as I ought to, and tend to lurk.
*Throws support and fluff around*

[Syndactyly]

The Viscount

Heh .. well Dan, I think Breayue and I are in the same boat. Both of our fiance's are quite attached to our chests. When you're not in a relationship, it's easy to say that a hypothetical mates' opinion/wants/needs wouldn't affect you in any way, but that's not how it works in the real world. In a relationship, you care, usually deeply, about how the other person perceives you. You want them to be attracted to you, to love you physically as well as mentally, and to stay with you. If you love someone fiercely, you do sometimes give up some of your own wants and needs. As do they. It's compromise.

I went through this with my fiance. I'm still going through it. It's partially why I put off a mastectomy for so long. My fiance seems to have become a bit more okay with it - but there is still a lot of discomfort.

I know, I know, love should be all about freedom, expressing how you really are, blah blah blah. But in a real relationship, especially a long term one (the boy and I have been living together for four years now, and dating far longer) compromises must be made. Not everything can be hunky-dory between two people. You might find the love of your life, but they're not going to be perfect. They're going to have differing opinions, and they're going to want different things out of the relationship than you do. It's all those other things that we love about our mates - those are the things that keep us together. And sometimes, with enough time a patience, ones' mate will sometimes even come around and accept your needs. (Not all the time, but sometimes.) That's why it's not wise to just jump the boat. "Oh, you don't feel comfortable with me wanting to get my breasts removed? Well, see ya mister. Who cares that we've been together for years and are basically soul-mates!"

I'm not saying that it's out of the question to leave someone over this - sometimes they really never come around, and just don't accept it. In that case, there's really not anything to stick around for. But you've got to at least try.

Actually I have been in your situation and so the relationship went nowhere. Granted, I wasn't IN a relationship with him at the time, we were sort of dating and I cut if off when he said he liked my feminine features. And yes, I really, really liked the guy.

Honestly, like I said, no matter how much I liked the person, I wouldn't be able to date them if they could not accept ME who who I really am. That includes my transition. If he or she wants to date me because I have a vagoo and boobs, it's not going to work. I hear a lot of FtMs having "straight" relationships with their boyfriends, their boyfriends deep down still see them as women, play with their tits and have vaginal sex with them, the attraction to the GIRL he originally started dating is still there for him. This is not something I would be able to tolerate.

I don't think letting someone control your body is a compromise. I think that goes well beyond a compromise, and becomes controlling. It also is codependent in a way to bend over backwards for your partner like that, to try to "fix" everything in ways that really can't be helped. You're only slowing down what is inevitable. If he cannot accept you as a man, and you see yourself as a man, and he sees himself as heterosexual, either he's going to have to suddenly become bisexual/gay or things are going to be cut off. You can push it, you can make things take longer and you can avoid it, but it will happen eventually. Usually guys who aren't comfortable with their "girlfriends" becoming men will cut things off when he (the transman) starts taking testosterone and starts really looking, acting, smelling like a man.

I never expect perfection in a relationship. But respecting my body domain is a pretty basic part of the relationship. Also truly accepting me as the man that I am. If they can't do that, if a single bone in their body sees me as a woman, it's not going to happen. If they pretend I'm a girl when we're having sex, it's over. See, I understand a person having different opinions. But calling me a woman and liking my tits is not just an opinion. It's asserting a fact. And sure, the boyfriend could call me "he" and stuff, but that all becomes meaningless if he wants to play with me like a girl in the bedroom. If he values my tits more than he values my comfort and happiness then the relationship is over.

If your mate loves you through and through, something as simple as getting your boobs chopped off shouldn't make them leave you. Something as large as a sex change, including the social changes, legal changes, and hormonal changes, however, is enough to break up a relationship is a STRAIGHT man has started dating you AS A WOMAN. See what I'm saying? You might have never saw yourself as a woman but he probably at some point did and if he is attracted to a woman it's going to be difficult for him to suddenly change your gender in his mind and accept it wholly, especially if he doesn't want to be gay. Weren't you the one who said he freaked out when you wore a packer?

If my partner feels uncomfortable with my having my breasts removed, you can be I would abandon ship. And that is not because I don't care about them, or don't want to work through it, or whatever. It's because if they are attached to my breasts, they are attached to my femininity and upon breast removal, and several years on testosterone, there will be other problems. And no, frankly, I don't want to deal with that s**t, especially not with someone I love. If they were uncomfortable with this sort of thing it would pretty much be a huge turn off for me because that means they have seen me as a woman for a long time without me realizing it. Because I would never openly date someone who does.

[Syndactyly]

GaijinGuy36

Okay, so. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I've come up with a theory. Let me share it, and I'll be glad to see if anyone here thinks I've got any sound reasoning, or just a whole big flock of bats in my attic.

Now, one problem I've had with past relationships with women is the whole issue of sex. There are a whole pack of different reasons why a woman may not be able to be brought into the mood for a bit of consummation. It could be her period, it could be she's trying to get over a bug of some kind or another, or it could be that she's aggravated about something and sex is just the last thing on her mind. I'm sure I'm not the only guy who's been through at least one of those scenarios.

However, let's look at the other side of it. Genetic girls will forever be strangers to such embarrassing and unpleasant experiences as surprise erections at really inappropriate times, blue balls, and the agony that results from a hard punt right to the nuggets. There's not anything I can think of that can equate to that level of pain, that it just makes you want to go fetal and just weep like a baby. And on the same token, genetic girls will never understand the exact urges, drives, and needs of a man, because they have wholly different bodies. Not just equipment-wise, either, but hormonally and even mentally, i.e. brain chemistry.

Here's where my theory comes in. I propose the idea that if anyone could relate well and properly to a man's needs, it would most likely be a MtF transsexual. After all, they've spent a portion of their life as a male member of society, and have been through a fair share of the same experiences.Therefore, it's my theory that a relationship between a male and a MtF would have a lot fewer nights of 'You're always thinking with that damn thing, aren't you?' and a lot more fulfillment of mutual need due to empathy, shared experiences, and understanding.

TO BE CLEAR: This is just a theory I've cobbled together after a good while of thought, and it sounds solid enough to me. Yes, seriously. It's not meant to be in any way offensive, and if it does bother anyone, I apologize for it in advance. I'm not trying to put genetic girls down, because I'm really not a bitter, hateful misogynist. Just a (nearly) normal guy, doing a little outside-the-box thinking.

Discuss?

First, I dated a girl, a transwoman no less, and she had next to no sex drive. Her male parts were completely normal, albeit a little below average in size (she was something like 5.5 inches, nothing majorly abnormal there). Some women are put off by a man (like me) who wants to have a lot of sex. I can tell you right now my ex DOES NOT understand men, their sex drive, their needs, their urges, etc. She never has.

As for being "ignorant" to erections and such, I'm not. I can feel my phantom p***s sensation, and tell you when I've got a boner. I also react to it physically, through my clitoris, this did not happen before I took T. Anyway, the only part I'm really missing out on is the huge lump in my pants. In other words, I can feel the erection, it bothers me, it makes me squirm, but no one else can see it. So actually it can pose a new problem; I cannot explain to people why I am uncomfortable because they look at me like I'm ******** crazy. Also, I know what it feels like (albeit mild in comparison) to be kicked in the nuts. No, I have no scientific explanation for this, obviously.

Furthermore, my brain/hormonal chemistry is like a man's. I EXACTLY understand the drive/needs/motivations/urges of a man. I have always "thought" like a man and now I REALLY think and feel and live like a man with the testosterone. Over prelonged exposed it has, and will continue to, have an effect on my brain chemistry, which I believe was already "more male" before. And FtM has the mind of a man. There is no question there.

An MtF transsexual can understand the needs of a man on a more physical level, yes. But once she has started spiro/estrogen she will started to feel much more like a woman.

Your theory completley rubs me the wrong way and implies that transmen are not really men.

[[Q]]

Syndactyly

[Q]

Syndactyly

Q

Syndactyly

Well, Mr. Half Trans (by your definition, not mine), in a happy relationship with a straight guy, things are a little different for us...

I'd rather be unaccepted by you and be "half trans" (When did I ever use that term) than crying in a corner every day about how my body isn't the way I want it to be.

;P

Hey, try not too be too butt-hurt over it. Me being "critic" and stating the obvious is just my opinion.

I mean, afterall, butthurt-ness is just how someone allows themselves to be affected by another's opinion, right?

Just sayin'.

That shouldn't give you license to be an a*****e.

Seriously, if you're always going to treat transpeople this way, you shouldn't be here. This thread isn't for critics.

If you'd notice, I only treat you "badly".
I like how you call me an a*****e when I'm just treating you the same way you treat me.

I think if I treated everyone in this thread the way I treat you, a lot more people would be [openly] pissed at me. But they're not, likely because, oh yes, I don't treat them badly.

Namely because they, unlike you, also do not constantly criticize me.

I don't get why you get to be an a*****e("just stating your opinion") but I can't.
You can state your opinion, that I'm not trans and that your life is oh-so-much worse, but I can't state my opinion, that I am indeed trans but I'm just coping a lot better than you?
Hrm, smells like hypocrite.

I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine, which you fail to see.

You may think you're just being mean to me, but when you say transphobic s**t you are being rude to everyone. neutral The difference is when I say s**t I am not attacking a whole group of people like you are.

No, you've said many times you're not even sure. That you have no dysphoria. Now you're having sex with a straight guy. confused You don't even have the balls to tell him because they might scrape you out of the military if people find out. It's ******** up to date someone and have sex with them but not tell them you're trans if you really are.

I'm not attacking the group, I'm just attacking you.
Also, he knows I'm trans. I've stated it multiple times. It's a daily conversation between us, almost. And I have never once said I have no dysphoria.
And at the time I was not having sex with him. Doing sexual things yes, not actual intercourse. Until last night, and we had to stop in the middle, because I started crying about having a vag again.

I have more balls than you do, dude.
Stop being so ******** jealous of them.

What happened to that whole "accept your body" and "Use what you have" thing you were preaching about when I first came here?
I was just taking your advice.
But it seems like you don't want me to do that anymore, eh?

I wish you'd make up your damn mind.

You seem to be really... Ugh.
I don't even know, but it's like you take every single comment ever as an attack on your masculinity.
Maybe if you weren't so sensitive about your masculinity, had more pride in yourself, then you wouldn't be so afraid that someone making a snide remark would somehow wisk your p***s away into oblivion.
And not only do you take 90% of comments the wrong way, you treat them as if they're a bigger problem than just you.
Oh noes, I'm saying you might be wrong, therefore I MUST be saying EVERY transman ever is wrong. Transmen don't exist! OHO NO p***s FOR YOU. rolleyes

Grow a backbone dude and learn how to take an insult.