Test Dummy 001 - MultiCrossover Parody

What sounds interesting, or MOST interesting to parody, to you?

Pheromones (as in sex pheromones) and/or hormone-manipulators	0.0%	[ 0 ]
Magical Girl / Mahou Shoujo (as in: Sailor Moon, Card Captor Sakura, etc.)	14.3%	[ 1 ]
Telepathy, General Omnisciency, etc...	14.3%	[ 1 ]
I can do anything because I am the main character, or Latin "omnipotentia"	14.3%	[ 1 ]
Suspiciously convenient (for romance) disaster attraction.	28.6%	[ 2 ]
Mind-Control Device	0.0%	[ 0 ]
Unfortunately Frequent Flowery Aura That Makes Everyone Blush	28.6%	[ 2 ]
Total Votes:			[ 7 ]

[Chrono Crow]

I shared this with friends before, but I'm posting here to hopefully get some ideas and reactions.
It would be very nice to hear if the story sounds interesting (I'm trying to say a lot in the fewest words so it'll be a good summary),
and also if anyone has suggestions for good "products/weapons" that Mary Sues the "St. Mary Suëss Legion" uses. (b^_~)b

-flies up to ceiling, sticks advertisement-

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Test Dummy 001 By Chrono Crow

Before the "St. Mary Suëss Legion" gets its ammo to knock pretty boys senseless,
someone has to test the weaponry first... yes, even the defective ones.
And that poor, lucky son of a b***h is...

Chapter One, Metamorph Knock-Out Punch

//Scientist's Notes: Seeming to have went well for the first few weeks, we have high hopes for this product, despite the minor bugs. The trouble of most needed improvement is on the gender-bender feature, which fails to completely change on its second use. However, seeing as the bug indeed did not kill the human test subject, future results in this endeavour appear promising.

000001: Metamorph Knock-Out Punch
000002: --In Testing--
000003: --Planning In Progress--

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I've got one chapter done, and it's a neutral zone, so I haven't incorporated any anime/manga yet...
Personally, I think I may have been a bit evil to the test subject in the end... (;°~°)
Girls are not meant to have man parts... Yikes...

IMPORTANT NOTES: If I didn't make it too clear, St. Mary Suëss Legion is a parody about Mary Sue-dom. As we progress, it'll be more clear that though they try to be saints, they're generally seen as pests. Test dummies are not a part of this organization, but are suckers under the employment of a laboratory that gets its research funded by the St. Mary Suëss Legion.

m(_ _)m

[Chrono Crow]

Test Dummy 001
BY CHRONO CROW
Before the “Mary Suëss Legion” gets its ammo to knock pretty boys senseless,
someone has to test the weaponry first... yes, even the defective ones.
And that poor, lucky son of a b***h is...

//Initiating test 000001: Metamorph Knock-Out Punch
//(Neutral Introductory Chapter--no crossovers yet)

The ability to control your physical make-up at an atomic level by a mere imaginative push of a button was really, really horribly unfair. If she was still in her old body and this was happening to someone else, she knew that she would understand just how unfair this all was.

But by god was she ever going to abuse this!

--Hours Later--

She couldn't believe her ears. All her life she was accustomed to being ugly, bony, awkward, and unfeminine. (Why else would she still have this job?) So after accepting her new body so suddenly, and making drastic changes on her whimsies, she hadn't given thought to the idea of her actually looking good enough perhaps to be propositioned by greasy men. The idea of it was absurd to her, seriously—that kind of stuff only happened in dark alleyways, movies, cities like L.A., and... and in fanfiction! Pssht! ******** me?! Who would be sick-minded enough to want... And that's what she was thinking until she crash-landed onto the striking realization that it was because she received an “unfair miracle escape from” (let's just generalize this) “most worries.”

After attempting to impress her with his superfluous speech, which she had ignored in her shock, he asked her, “So what about it, miss?”

The guy propositioning then smiled a stereotypically sleazy smile, not knowing the revolted looks the people around him were sending him. Must not be popular around these parts?

Well, he must've been desperate if he was going for the chick in the baggy, hooded sweater. At least it would hide her quivering ribcage as she attempted to scare him away. How old did she look, she wondered while reminding herself to change her looks later... to something less eccentric and more to her age (below 18 ).

Slumping forward to obscure any curves with her sweater, she snorted unattractively and reached into her right pocket for a snack. Her movements were unrefined and lazy, in the uncaring boyish manner she grew up knowing them to use. Flipping the switch in her mind (figuratively speaking), her appearance changed discretely into that of a lithe guy's in under a second. Her hair was already short, and her face wasn't overly feminine, so she didn't bother changing her face.

After popping a dark chocolate candy into her mouth, a startlingly lower voice erupted from 'her'. “Is that how you catch your boys? Piss off.” was the thing actually said, while 'her' inner panicky self reminded to keep a detached demeanour.

“... Uh, what?”

Encouraged by his intelligent response, and the bitter candy, 'he-she' turned 'his-her' abnormally lime-green eyes to glare at him. “What, you gay or something?”

The man's eyes nearly jumped out of his skull, and it took all of 'her' willpower not to lose composure as everyone around them laughed at him.

“What?! No!!” Okay, he looked pissed off. “You're lying! I swear you're a girl!”

Probably to prove his point, but obviously stupid, he marched closer to 'the androgynous boy' and grabbed him.

“Yo, what the ******** man,” Our hero/ine exclaimed, genuinely outraged as he/she struggled to get the other confused man to let go, “Get the ******** off! Help! Rape! Rape!”

When the metamorph's chest was exposed, it was obviously flat and male.

“WHAT THE ********?” The alleged rapist yelled. “But... but I saw you in the girl's restroom! You had boobs. You definitely had...”

Increasingly infuriated, our resident 'it' decided to mercilessly squash him, by yelling in a tone clearly audible through-out the open area, “You were in the girl's restroom?! Dude, that's creepy!”

This will work, too, because this is animeland. (Oh no, I'm breaking the fourth wall...)

“Well, you—”

Sure enough, he stopped dead cold, feeling an unusually cold draft blowing in from behind him.

Stepping back from 'his/her' molester, Test Dummy 001 of once again female gender sighed in relief as a mob of furious women and angry boyfriends pummelled her molester into the cozy jailcell closest to hell.

--Minutes Later, Women's Restroom--

An absolutely terrified, high-pitched scream split the air.

“I HAVE A p***s!”

//Ending test 000001: Metamorph Knock-Out Punch
//Test Subject: TD001
//Goal: To achieve visual perfection by being able to change one's appearance at one's will, anytime, anywhere, and to whatever extent necessary. Good for but not limited to eliminating blemishes, changing to abnormal hair/eye colours, reconstructing body structure to be more appealing, and changing genders to create steamy shonen-ai romance. [ Note: animal transformations excluded in this product ]
//Circle One: Perfect / ((Room For Improvement)) / FAILURE
//Scientist's Notes: Seeming to have went well for the first few weeks, we have high hopes for this product, despite the minor bugs. The trouble of most needed improvement is on the gender-bender feature, which fails to completely change on its second use. However, seeing as the bug indeed did not kill the human test subject, future results in this endeavour appear promising.

[Chrono Crow]

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o(´ω`)o

Ohh, I hope someone replies.
I'm really excited about this.

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[Chrono Crow]

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Another Reserved Post

You can vote and make a comment if you like. I won't mind.

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[Chrono Crow]

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mrgreen Bump-Reserve.

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[ratpeets]

Is I allowed to post? > >;
o:

Sounds pretty interesting there, Crow.
Though I'm a bit confused on the premise, it's written strongly, and I'm sure it'll make sense to me after a bit. xD

... Though one thing I noticed, he/she popped a piece of chocolate into his/her mouth, but in the next sentence you describe it as sour. o: Not sure if that was intentional, but you know...

Otherwise, it's funny, smart, and I liked the ending. xD Your poor unnamed subject. <3 You write very professionally. :3
Keep going~ I'll read moar when you have it!

[Chrono Crow]

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Whoops. I remember when I was writing that part about the candy. I was torn between my love for chocolate, and a more mood-setting candy like the sour ones. >///< Thanks for pointing it out, Panda! You're allowed to post anytime!

I can't believe I missed something like that! How embarrassing, lol.

-goes to fix immediately-

Yush. I changed it to dark chocolate. Neither sour nor sweet--bitter, rather. Relief! sweatdrop

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