Akihira
~Teh Shoujo II
RULES:
1. Follow all of Gaia's standard rules.
2. I am the creator, what I say goes.
3. Please don't be an a*****e in here.
3 1/2. BE LITERATE.
4. DO NOT QUOTE THIS POST
5. 1/2. Literate bumps, please.
6. Don't ******** advertise for anything in here.
7. No drama.
8. Please don't quote illiterate comments/bumps. I tend to delete them when I see them, so quoting them would defeat the purpose.
9. Please try your hardest to welcome new Gaians. Talk to them, and pay them some attention. And if you ARE new to the thread.. don't be discouraged because someone missed a post.. (especially me) .. it's not like we mean it, we're usually just caught up in other ridiculous things.
Be patient with us, and we'll be patient with you.
Effluvium Dreams
Aki;
SHOOT ME UP WITH THAT LITERATE BABY BATTER.
I'm in need of my fix.
<3
SHOOT ME UP WITH THAT LITERATE BABY BATTER.
I'm in need of my fix.
<3
Index
WELCOME TO CE.
Be sure to read all of the rules in this post.
READ THE NEWS SECTION.
Oh and by the way.. my hotdog is at the bottom of THIS post.
Further down in the depths of the post, is the CE REVOLUTION and the RAT list.
NEWS!
NEWS
On The CUSP of Half a Decade
Five ******** years is right around the corner.
It's been a convenient turn of events that has brought me back around this part of reality, and it's nice to see people are still around.
I've been back for a few days, but I told myself I wouldn't make an update on here unless I knew I was going to be back for sure. So, there it is.
Unless something terribly dramatic happens, I'll be here in non-lurk mode. Especially for the fifth anniversary.
So what was started here three years ago today...
Literate MADNESS.
Even in the confusion of an upcoming thread, we managed to maintain the humor and verbal abuse in a grammatically acceptable manner.
However, anyone can be taught to spell correctly and imitate intelligence.
We've dealt with pseudo intellectualism properly, I think.
When I look around, I don't see any of that s**t anymore.
Three years ago, we were a haven for people desperately fending off 'teh n00bz'. Today it's a little bit different; literacy has pluralized greatly, especially in the CB.
That's why CE is important right now.
We're not just literacy, we're intelligence.
This is something we should be proud of, especially concerning where we hail from.
Which is CE.
I'm sure some time in the future, there will be a day where people care not for properly spelled words. Where programs and editing abilities will do it for us.
A day where our minds are flaccid and pathetic; where we think in group-oriented ways, and the independent thought is dead.
That day will never come to us because this is more than a thread now; it's an ideal.
Last year I claimed that I would never stand down from representing that ideal... and I won't.
Ever.
I used to say it was hard to explain, but it isn't.
This is CRITICAL ERROR.
You are CE.
I'll never let anyone take this from us.
THE HUMAN PROBLEM
To be completely honest, I don't really know what to name this update. It's been like, ten months since I've really been in here for longer than and hour or two. Jobs come and go, people come and go.
The only real permanence in my life is my passion.
Aha, but what's interesting about that is that my passion and ambition isn't particularly directed towards anything specific. I'm not sure what to do.
Which is pretty weird.
But I guess it happens. Anyway, I need you people to fall back on. That's what I need from CE this summer, before we hit three years. Inspiration, laughter and maybe a little support.
We'll see, right?
twisted
Two Years
I'm sitting here... sweating in the heat and loving it.
Yeah, I'm a little drunk.
Check it out, baby.
As I reflect on the soul of what I believe in, which is literacy.. I realize that it means so much more than correctly spelled words and punctuation.
Grammar and syntax... yeah, they're sexy.
What lies behind this? My life; what is the meaning of my life.
Yeah, sure. I don't know. What I do know is that for the past two years you've all been there for me, just as I've been there for you.
I love all of you dearly, and it doesn't matter how many times I get hacked, or how many posts they delete because behind all of this is a crazy notion that perhaps.. you ARE your words, you ARE what you say and do on a daily basis.
What else is there behind a pretty face or a hot body?
Your words are your soul, they're your mind.
So please, let's keep doing this.
Let's keep showing the world that intelligence is not dead.
Let's keep showing people that we're skeptical... that we DON'T believe in everything that media feeds us.
As your commander, I stand firm.. just as I always have... as the leader, the founder and the greatest supporter of literacy that Gaia has ever seen.
(No, I'm not really that egotistical.. but seriously, just read that again. Isn't it badass?)
Happy two years, Critical Error.
I will never stand down, no matter what happens.
Something INTERESTING
So, I was randomly surfing about in the CB.
And this is the cool part.
I clicked on... let's see.. about 5 threads.
Randomly.
And each one of them was about.. genitals, or suicide threats, or a ton of girls stuck in a castle and boys trying to sneak in in order to fulfill some kind of sexual fantasy.
Same old.
But... BUT... every single one of them had a rule.
'BE AS LITERATE AS POSSIBLE.'
'SPEAK IN ENGLISH AS BEST YOU CAN.'
'TYPE SO PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND YOU.'
To say the least, this pluralization of literacy all across Gaia is incredibly awesome.
With our 2nd year in business just around the corner... I'll have much more to say about this phenomenon then.
The Era of The Change
Well, here's what's happened.
I got a decent job, doing miscellaneous things for a guy who works through the bank when they reposess houses.
So, I've been doing everything from bartending, to cleaning out houses. I tend to work 15 hour shifts on Saturdays.
Recently, a sushi restaraunt has decided to hire me as their only non-asian, non-FEMALE (******** yeah..) staff member. I will be trained as a sushi chef.
So, school has stopped for me. I plan on taking a $900+ course to get my certification to teach English in a foreign country (how suiting, eh? Those goddamn n00bs.)
Yeah, and then there's Lineage 2...
Yeah, this is the CHANGE.
Until I can get into the swing of so much work, I can't say I'll be around as often.
<3 But I'll definitely be posting way more than I was in the VOID.
Gaian Anniversary Ball 2k7
Well, alright. This event was the worst one so far. I recall the days of old when the event threads were visited by NPCs, delivering event items.
Gone is that, and what happens now is...
You get a multiple choice quiz.
Yeah, just like highschool. If you didn't get all ten questions correct, you didn't get the item. You had to submit yourself to this kind of masochistic act about three times in order to get all the items, that is.. if you never ******** up any of the answers.
Come on, Gaia. Where you at.
Anyway, the CE event thread topped out at 19 pages.
An all time low, but the event was so miserable that everyone was posting in the regular thread after a short time.
Hmm.
Gaia Valentines Event
This event pretty much sucked balls.
Well let's see... The CE evet thread topped out at 149 pages. Not bad for the length of time permitted. I got kissed like... six hundred something times by the end of it.
Weird event.
The Return
Like a waking dream, or the morning dew on the grass.. the VOID has dissipated. Faded into a memory.
I have returned to my seat here in CE.
What I have lost in the VOID may, perhaps, never be replaced.
THE ERA OF THE VOID
Yes, that's what this is called. The era in which your king has left you for an extended period. Well, whatever.
Due to some unforseen [/lie] circumstances, I have been dragged into the VOID.
The VOID is composed of many obligations that have been dropped upon me due to... well... life.
Anyway, during this era I will be floating about... mostly unseen.
I'm desperately trying to escape its grasp, and hopefully I will.
But this too shall pass, my dear Cerrians.
30k!!
Yep, we broke 30k pages, and in our birthday month! Less than four months after 20k!
You crazy literates.
August 4th.
Today is the day!
One year ago, around this time.. I sat down and got sick of Gaia. I loved the site, but.. I was surrounded by idiocy. Well, not to say that I'm this great gift to the world. But.. come on. Y wuld i want 2 heer dis all dai?1./3?
I wouldn't. So, I created CE. I was blessed by all of the Cerrians, the visitors.. everything.
In the past year, there have been FLAME WARS. Drama. And most importantly, literacy.
Thank you.
Thank you for making this exactly what it was meant to be.
Aki ******** himself (Not mentally, but like.. with all that hacking stuff.)
So, after all the madness that happened.. I followed a tip from a friend and got my password back. I figured the hacker changed my email address, but they did not.
Everyone who donated to me.. helped me out one way or another... thank you.
So ******** much.
You have no idea how much it means to me, and I promise you that I will find a way to make it back up to all of you.
Something I did three years ago gave me the opportunity to get my account back, and for that I thank Chibi.
Aki has been hacked
Yep. Until all of this is ironed out, I doubt there will be any updates. I doubt I'll even still have my avatar. We'll see.
CE breaks 20k pages!
Yep, that's right. On Friday, May 26.. CE broke 20000 pages. For being around for less than a year, that's not too bad. Thank you to all the Cerrians who keep this place alive and healthy on a daily basis; I love you all dearly. The first Cerrian on 20k was uannoymedie and the last was Gu-chan. heart
Aki is older!
Yep, today is my birthday. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy one! Yeah, I think that's about it for this NEWS update. Oh, and Neko made me this freakin' sweet thingy. Check it. Tranny Dreamin'.
April 1st Event 2k6
Well, Spring time is rolling around and this weird/lame event did as well. Absolutely nothing happened in the event forum. CE did, however, reach 226 pages with over 1200 votes. Seeing as this happened in only a little over 24 hours, it was a CE branch thread record! So, thanks to all the regulars and soon to be regulars for posting.
The Crash
Well, CE suffered a huge downtime along with some other threads (but who cares about them anyway). It was the longest downtime ever, spanning almost 24 hours of absolutely no posting in CE from March 28th around 11PM EST to about March 29th, 10PM. It sucked, and I was pissed.. but it's all good now.
Gaian Anniversary Ball 2k6!
Again, I could not attend the festivities because I was probably out being dangerous or drinking or something.
Our beloved Neko Suave created a CE branch thread which made it to 65 pages, then our dear Kushielle created a continuation which made it to 126 pages.
Even though there was some confusion because at one point there were three CE branch threads.. I appreciate that you all care enough to carry on the literate legacy even throughout my absence.
In the future however, I will designate one person to create an official CE branch thread if I anticipate my absence.
heart
Critical Error breaks Ten thousand pages!
On Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:38 pm, CE broke 10k! The first Cerrian to post on this page was Chibi Hentai. Amazingly enough, she was also the last to post on 10k.
I sincerely thank everyone who has been here regularly, or simply stopped by on occasion.
CE is what it is today because of its faithful regulars.
Thank you.
New Years Bash 2k5/6:CE branch thread got 66 pages. Unfortunately, I could not attend this event because I was out partying. surprised
The Second Flame War
After the assault on CE, [DeathCaster], my brother, took it upon himself to inflict greater damage upon LeGasp with a massive counter-attack without my permission.
Though this action was out of concern and respect, his level of vigilantism was absurd, resulting in another terrible flame war with absolutely no positive outcome.
I apologized upon his behalf and put myself at the mercy of the LeGaspians and my old enemy, Witty.
So far, peace has befallen the literate kingdoms.
The First Flame War
CE was attacked by a rival literate thread on 12/6/05.
Malice headed this shameless assault for no reason other than some sort of misunderstanding. The original reason for this is unknown.
CE stood strong, and every member defended their home and me.
Halloween party 2k5: CE branch thread got 168 pages.
Elusive Snuggle Bunny
Oh Aki put a cork in it and ******** me, ******** me til' I die!
The Story
The story behind this thread? There isn't any ******** story behind this literate madness. Even if there was, who cares? It would just be an excuse to parade my skills with the English language. Everything here is really quite simple.
I, Aki, am just sick of mindless illiterate s**t.
So far I stand alone with my thread. Of course there are VARIOUS cheap immitations.. but my only allies are my beloved Regulars and of course the people that I like.
I am also sick of those ******** who roam around in literate threads thinking themselves to be so much greater than anyone else.
******** that, and welcome.
TRUTH
The original Friendly Literate Thread.
Anyway, I have created this thread because I strongly dislike some of the Literate threads I've posted in as of late. Most literates on Gaia seem to think they are superior beings, believing that others are not worthy of their attention merely because they can spell. I disagree with this mentality whole-heartedly. It's okay to make mistakes, you shouldn't be bashed for a typo. Let's all drop this arrogance, shall we? Naturally this does not apply to some Literate threads. There are a few awesome Literate threads out there other than this one, I guess... maybe.
Anyway, I just figured I'd create my own place with a friendly atmosphere. Somewhere that's not as stuffy or stuck up as other threads.
THIS IS STILL A LITERATE THREAD. Please keep that in mind when you post.
This means that you still need to capitalize and all that jazz.
Anyway, on to the rules I suppose. domokun
Just so you know, I usually change the poll every time I log onto Gaia. I love giving you gold via polls.
Just be nice. Just because we can spell and use periods doesn't mean we're god-like beings. sweatdrop
As stated in rule #4, I really don't care what kind of n00b you are, as long as you can type and use punctuation.
A haven, a heaven, a place to call home
With jail cells and deep wells (And a guillotine on loan!)
Don't mind the strange noises
They've always been there
And the stains on the floor...
Nothing to worry about, I swear.
So full of teh smartes
Our heads might explode
Going into withdrawals simply from waiting
For the page to reload
With friendly faces
But not so friendly knives
Honest, wouldn't take what's not ours
(Except a few lives)
And there is no place I'd rather be
Than the little error known as C.E.
A critical error! Oh!
How could this terror, ever be found
In a place to hang' round- in a thread, in a place to hang out?
But we shout, oh we shout, as the crowd all turns out,
That a critical error is what it's about!
A critical error!
That CPU's terror, may ever be praised
And be blessed; for a critical error, may be found here or there or,
Wherever one's grammar is put to the test.
MY HOTDOG
Anyway, I just figured I'd create my own place with a friendly atmosphere. Somewhere that's not as stuffy or stuck up as other threads.
THIS IS STILL A LITERATE THREAD. Please keep that in mind when you post.
This means that you still need to capitalize and all that jazz.
Anyway, on to the rules I suppose. domokun
Random things that I think should be in the first post
CliffordWLee
Hey t**t lips, this is a literate thread. mad
pirulaso
The world had been destroyed when the outbreak of the disease called Noob reached untold numbers. The victims would become the undead horde that destroyed all civilization. There are few fortified cities left in this world of Anarchy. A city of white called Cerria is one of them.
sunkist372
Hello and welcome to the thread. We would love to have you, but we don't really like bumps in this part of the world. If you want to join in the conversation, that is great, but otherwise do you mind going elsewhere? Thanks.
Chibi Die
By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada and by the Commission board of some remote place in Georgia, I now award you the title; God of Literacy.
Huzzah! surprised heart
Huzzah! surprised heart
WARNING
Jesus bots will be flamed.
Just so you know, I usually change the poll every time I log onto Gaia. I love giving you gold via polls.
Just be nice. Just because we can spell and use periods doesn't mean we're god-like beings. sweatdrop
Akihira
As much as I do love you, don't ask for my help in quests. I'm a douche bag, and I don't help anyone.
As stated in rule #4, I really don't care what kind of n00b you are, as long as you can type and use punctuation.
[Apocalypse.Love]
A haven, a heaven, a place to call home
With jail cells and deep wells (And a guillotine on loan!)
Don't mind the strange noises
They've always been there
And the stains on the floor...
Nothing to worry about, I swear.
So full of teh smartes
Our heads might explode
Going into withdrawals simply from waiting
For the page to reload
With friendly faces
But not so friendly knives
Honest, wouldn't take what's not ours
(Except a few lives)
And there is no place I'd rather be
Than the little error known as C.E.
The Critical Error song, by Joseph Severn
A critical error! Oh!
How could this terror, ever be found
In a place to hang' round- in a thread, in a place to hang out?
But we shout, oh we shout, as the crowd all turns out,
That a critical error is what it's about!
A critical error!
That CPU's terror, may ever be praised
And be blessed; for a critical error, may be found here or there or,
Wherever one's grammar is put to the test.
Gothic Romantic
In the begining, there was chaos. N00bs begging for gold, bumpers filling the threads, trolls instigating rage, spammers advertising their wares and leet speakers confusing the hell out of everyone. One day, there was a light in the sky above the Chatterbox. A glowing being decended from the sky. He saw in the land of ravaging chaos and incoherant chatter, and he raised his mighty fist and smashed it into the ground. A fissure crackled through the Chatterbox, pushing all n00bs, trolls, bumpers and spammers to one side, and seperating the intelligent, literates to the other. He claimed the land of the literates to be called 'Critical Error' and it's inhabitants, Cerrians.
To the wretched ones, he is called a demon, a heretic and a 'stupid meanie-head'. To the Cerrians, he's a savior of literacy, humor and justice. They are the ones who call this being 'Aki'.
To the wretched ones, he is called a demon, a heretic and a 'stupid meanie-head'. To the Cerrians, he's a savior of literacy, humor and justice. They are the ones who call this being 'Aki'.
MY HOTDOG
The CER
CRITICAL ERROR REVOLUTION
So what is the CER, you ask?
Let me enlighten your a**.
Pretty much, this is where you sexy ******** get to express your artistic selves. Essentially, you make a drawing, painting, a sign, comic... anything that is CE related, and you can get it up here for all to see.
CER!!!
For those of you whom I deem worthy, I can put you up on the CER stage.
This is where the revolution takes meaning.
Combining literacy and good looks, these Cerrians are the top models of the literate world.
The prerequisites are as follows:
1.You must be insanely literate at all times.
2.You must have a female avatar (some exceptions...)
3.Your outfit must be outrageously good.
It's pretty much one of the highest honors, to get on this ******** stage.
So let's take a moment to give some respect to the hotties up there now.
Effluvium Dreams
[.Flammable.]
F I C T I T I O U 5
Lady Erika
Lysistrata
I, Aki, am in the center... twisted
Here they are:
As far as the ART section of the CER, right now this is what we've got:
The following are by Helsinki Harlot (Yami)
The following are by Helsinki Harlot (Yami)
THE REALLY AWESOME THINGS LIST (RAT LIST)
In here is the funniest of the funny.
If I laugh, it's in here.
The original RAT list can be located here:
SO MANY LULZ
Do it.
In here is the funniest of the funny.
If I laugh, it's in here.
The original RAT list can be located here:
SO MANY LULZ
Do it.
*
+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+
Akihira
+[Teh Amish Kotex Fairy]+
Akihira
Seriously, has anyone else noticed that I have an aversive nature towards QUESTION MARKS.
See?
AHG.
I ******** hate them.
See?
AHG.
I ******** hate them.
???
burning_eyes
burning_eyes
One of these days I'm going to throw you into a well.
<3
One of these days I'm going to eat pancakes with you.
<3
<3
*
X Zeffie X
You know how those shoes with the blades in the bottom?
Yeah, if I was a guy and ever went to jail, I'd have one of those installed in my a**.
******** yeah, nobody would rape the b***h with the assblade.
Yeah, if I was a guy and ever went to jail, I'd have one of those installed in my a**.
******** yeah, nobody would rape the b***h with the assblade.
*
Lady Erika
~[ ]~
Ah, Willy Wonka. The end of the movie almost made me piss myself, he was scary.
LOLOL.
LOLOL.
~[ ]~
*
The Blue Ruin
Pamplemousse Grenouille!
The Blue Ruin
Snuggle Bunny Rin
Sleepless nights you slip inside of me, you paint your shadow on the breath that we share.
Flam: Sorry?
Seth: It's ok I'm still with you.
heart
Lavi: Thy means my so you mean you breed my cuteness?
-Snuggle submits.-
Ruin: We are in the summer, dunno where to yet though.
Seth: It's ok I'm still with you.
heart
Lavi: Thy means my so you mean you breed my cuteness?
-Snuggle submits.-
Ruin: We are in the summer, dunno where to yet though.
You take more than just my sanity you take my reason not to care.
This guy is a sick b*****d
Fast forward to number 69 baby xD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH8u0MI8MqM
@Pamplemousse Grenouille!
SPEAK ENGLISH!!!
*waves at Aki*
Hi person I don't know. I think My turtle asss raped you once when you passed out at my party. xD
- Engrish?
Also, me not know you cat is.
MAYBE HE REFT YOU.
He not in soup!
I have brain damage.
*
pirulaso
Rennard the 4th
It's this weird currency made of funny green paper rectangles and little circular coins.
It's called Dólar Estadounidense. You know what's even funnier? There's a guy with girl hair on the 100 one.
Bet you've never seen THAT where you're at.
cool
*
jinxabell
Akihira
jinxabell
Did you wiggle your eyebrows when you typed "very well?"
/slowly turns around to face you in a giant leather chair whilst petting a furry cat on the armrest
What did you say?
/THROATPUNCH
One day, you're going to sit in your giant leather chair and realize that it is no longer a giant leather chair, but actually a dinosaur, and it has eaten you. And then you will be throat punching it from the inside. And you will break through and everyone will be like, "Oh my God, Aki, I can't believe you just killed that dinosaur from the inside out! You're so cool!" And I, in my infinite jealously, will be all, "But I started the throat punch...!" and I will retreat to a tiny cottage in the high hills of Scotland, where I will live with my loyal border collie for years, until one day you appear at my door to let me know you've become rich and famous on your dinosaur-killing story, but have lost your way. "All the money and booze," you'll say, shaking your head as you bury your face in your jewel-encrusted hands. "I've lost touch of what's really important. I've sold out...!"
And I will say, "...THROATPUNCH." And then punch you in the throat.