Martyred Marionette
I'm glad you like them, your invo is so vast and fun to work with!
Hope you've been well! i've seen bits here and there in the discord when i pop in. Everyone seems to quite enjoy having you as a part of the crew c: Don't mind cay/arcane if she seems a bit grumpy sometimes it's not personal she's just like that xD especially lately with senior cheeto dust making small business ownership harder.
But hopefully i'll get some down time to whip up some more fun avis soon c:
d'aw uwu im so glad you had fun ! >v<
its always the hope, that people enjoy doing it
aw, if you have the time, feel free if you have fun doing it !! i looovee seeing them >v< hehehehehe
and then also, thank you so much for the gift !!! ^o^ very nice of youuu >v<
aha thanks for the assurance of the discord
its been hard to really talk in there too much, i feel really awkward shoving my promos in there, so now im just... there, xDDD
but also because.. well.. last month i decided... errr.... to stop doing art sets each month?
and then it lead to my brain completely stopping art :v
and then... i was struggling like "i dont really wanna STOP drawing...so maybe i should draw sometimes, but no schedule" but then, i just... er... anytime i go to draw, it clicks into my brain as work, and then the longer i go without drawing im like OMG IM BEHIND ON WORK
i still have my patreon up, but im no longer doing exclusives - ill just post everything everywhere [where it allows, of course], but in my mind i want to do 1 set or at least 1 art a month still?? but its ... just really hard as iim still really really REALLY mentally struggling with that balance and how that even works in my mind and what that means. @~@;;;
if i did 1 set specifically each month, and made it like work, instead of 2 sets a month, it involves a lot more planning for the month, and how to post, how to schedule the other posts, still have to make ads and previews and all that. cuz its WORK. but if i dont treat it like work, im not really on schedule, on a mission, plan set and due dates and all.....
i dunno...... hmm....... i dunno, its just.. u~u;;;; im really confused???
my patreon is still up, like i said ! i still have some subs, i think a majority are there just cuz they dont... remember? xD;;; oop-- i DID dm everyone though to make sure they knew everything was changing >o> and those that did respond were ok to still support me how they were and thats sweet uwu
but ya , i at least have a couple. but because of that i dont wanna just do nothing..... but, im definitely not in the right headspace for anything very specific??
because ive been doing art, of some kind, for profit for over a decade. honestly, if even going back to avi art and stuff i was doing that in middle school >A> so over half my life at this point
but ive been increasingly stressing SO HARD about so many different aspects of it
that i spoke to my husband about it after i was breaking down AGAIN and just decided to kinda stop what i was doing.
so i was gonna stop EVERYTHING, but then i was like "well thats a shame to do...i shouldnt do that" but touching it at all clicks this panic mode of WORK in my head that spirals down to other stresses that come along with it all @__@ ??? so....... its like ptsd anytime i pick up the tablet to draw or think about doing it and stuff... which like, what the ******** ?
especially because i have patrons still, like, i want to still get paid [as small amounts as it is, esp with the new change of tier pricing], but i have to do something TO get paid, right? xD so thus, i should draw SOMETHING
which i am, but im trying to not stress for it as long as i am doing something... ??? i dunno.. its.. its really hard.
but because of all that, esp cuz im not doing something SPECIFIC each month anymore, its hard to really advertise it??? .A.
like its just asking for hand outs, kinda... if its "hey im kinda drawing w/e i want, but please throw me some money, ya?" n.n;;;;; just, supporting me drawing what i draw, and hopefully if people like it, they spare me a few bucks even if they sub only for 1 month or something >^<;;;;
i changed my patreon tiers so i only have one 5$ tier [the rest are all unlisted, but people who are on it, still pay that amount until they change, i cant change their sub] so anyone new joining, its kinda small, but, idk.. they could always do custom i guess if they wanted to i suppose.
BUT, as you can tell, im just a bit of a hot mess? .A.''''
i still do wanna do 1 set or something a month, or at least 1 illustration
i have to try to re-wire my brain to not try to do ALL THE THINGS with EACH image i do
cuz ive been doing 2 arts of multiple version each month for about 4 years? over 4 years? idr the timeline. but a long long time. i rarely took time off, and when i did i just was absolutely wrecked by it because it was due to stress, or being behind. so even when i 'took off' for it, i wasnt actually taking a break cuz it was more like playing catchup.. *sigh
and my adhd brain doesnt help with spiraling, THAT IS FOR SURE.
gonk
but im in the "trying to recover, get better, less stress" part of this roller coaster..
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