They had slipped into his room at the inn while he slept and now he awoke in darkness, blinded and at a loss for where they had taken him. He could feel the hand in his hair, holding his head back, and feel the tip of a knife slipped through his thin shirt and pressing into his ribs. Already hot blood was clouding the air with its heady scent. Seist did not dare move nor draw his magic to himself – not like this. Besides, there were always so many options to try before resorting to violence. Their questions alone could tell him much – there had to be some purpose to seek him out and bring him here, some reason they were so interested in what sort of person he was. He only had to survive long enough to put it together.
“I am Seist Loringar,” the priest said calmly in response to the man's question, “Margrave of Kas Kain and priest of Dues and Frain, the god of magic and goddess of wisdom. I am a noble-born mage.”
The questions had an element of power behind them, touching at the corners of Seist's mind so that he understood their intent instead of only the words, as well as pulling to elicit the best responses from him. The priest shied from it, retreating in his own mental defenses, but his position had always protected him from such spells and his training was poor. There was a numbness to his limbs and Seist wondered at the knife held against his skin and what it had been coated with.
“No, I do not fear death itself,” he murmured, “I've resigned myself to that long ago. I fear dying like a commoner, my title and dignity stripped away with no one willing to stand and say that my actions were just. I fear that the things I did were evil. I fear dragons, I fear my will being bound by one... it is not such a terrible fate, but I treasure my freedom and the sanctity of my mind...”
He trailed off. The questioner seemed amused by this, for it was exactly what his magic was doing to the priest.
“My father found a tutor when he realized I was a mage. I studied under him until I was thirteen.”
Seist seemed reluctant to answer further. The knife twisted and Seist let out an involuntary cry of pain but bit back his answers. The question was put to him again and again, each time with more incentive, until finally the priest coughed out an answer. He had a cushioned life. Pain was not something he was intimate with. Something within him broke and he begged for leeway, for space to breath, and in that space he reluctantly answered, the words coming in trembling bursts.
“I killed him. I saw him coercing truth from a woman – some trifling affair – but he looked into her mind as casually as reading a book... much as you are doing to me.” His voice was bitter in its weakness. “Such things are permitted. It is a common practice. The goddess has demanded otherwise, and so I killed him. I cracked his skull open, hitting him from behind. I... should not have. It would have only taken my word as a noble to command him to refrain from doing such a thing again. He didn't have to die. And no one thought to question me. My father's influence buried my first murder.”
There was more to it. That incident had formed his vows in turn, an oath to the twins that he would uphold what they taught and what they asked of mages but that in doing so, violence would be reserved for when words did not work and only against those that had violated the sacred tenets. Should the law decide to execute him, he would not even resist. This was unspoken but the spell woven over him plucked it free and Seist made no move to resist, passive on his knees with his hands bound behind him in the darkness.
Another question. “I died while trying to find the prophetess in the Borderlands. There is a woman, Baroness Yvette, that controls the northern territory and rumors that she is seeking a magic forbidden to mortals and proscribed by our goddess. I was told to seek the prophetess and find what she knows of this, and then find a way to stop Yvette. It is my duty as a priest. It was a task given to me by the Rune-Weaver – a dragon of incredible talent with magic. That which is forbidden to humankind must remain buried – I must get back to my own land! She could restart the war between dragons and humans-”
He fell silent abruptly. The questioner didn't care about his convictions. A sacred oath, a soul clinging to nobility even while staining itself in blood and trying desperately to reconcile the two. That was far more important than what had been left undone with his death. The questioner was deeply interested in what kind of man Seist was and that troubled the priest for he did not understand why.
“I do not find glory in what I do,” Seist replied stiffly, “Does anyone find triumph in slaughtering the sick livestock? I pray I never think upon my actions with any amount of pride or anything other than regret or necessity.”
The last question was one that Seist balked at once more, both because he was reluctant to answer and it was a question he did not dare to put to himself, even willingly. Seist spent so much time examining the world around him and hunting for secrets that people would keep from him and he never stopped to turn those eyes on himself. He sought out those that did not heed the goddess's laws. He forced them to stop – and if they did not listen to words, he used the sword, the knife, the poison. Whatever accomplished his goal and did not implicate him to the authorities. He stopped examining himself the day he scarred his eyes, kneeling at one of the few shrines to Dues and Frain, alone, a thin stiletto in his hand and blood running down his cheeks like tears. The pain had felt so distant then, as if he were simply removed of himself and watching a stranger pledge to the twin deities. The cuts had burned when they healed, sealed in the space of a few minutes and Seist had knelt there with his eyes closed, the divine magic burning in his veins, and he swore he felt the touch of a woman's hand on his cheek. He dared not look. Mortals were not meant to behold the divine.
“I'm a murderer,” Seist said, his voice hollow, “And I am a priest. What more do you need to know? I could tell you if I think myself vain or arrogant or kind or any number of things... but that matters not. I am a priest. I kill in the name of my gods. That is all I am.”
And saying so felt like absolution. He felt oddly tranquil, finally giving voice to a secret he'd carried for so long. Even when one of his captors moved and there was a rush of air and agony burst across the back of his head from the blow, Seist only welcomed the oblivion it brought with a quiet acceptance.