I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road, were my only summer. At night I fell asleep to visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying, with them. Three years down the line, I found myself on an endless road of torture, and my memories of them were the only thing that sustained me.. and was my only real happy time... I was a sinner, not a very popular one.. I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet. But upon an unfortunate series of events, I saw those dreams dash and divided like a million stars in the night sky.. That I wish for over and over again, sparkling and broken... But I didn't really mind it, because I knew that is takes getting everything you ever wanted, and losing it, to understand what true freedom is... When the people I use to know found out what I've been doing, how I've been living they ask me: "why ?"... But there is no use in talking to people who have a home.. They have no idea what it is like to seek safety in other people, to be home wherever you lay or head. I was always and unusual girl.. My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north. No fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness, that was as wide and wavering as the ocean.. And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way, I'd be lying... because I was born to be the other woman.. who belongs to no-one, who belongs to everyone.. who had nothing, and wanted everything.. There was a fire for every experience, and an obsession for freedom, that terrified me to the point that I couldn't talk about it, that pushed me to a nostalgic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me..
Every night I use to pray that I would find my people. And finally I did, on the open road. We had nothing to loose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired any more.. except to make our lives into a work of art.. live fast, die young, be wild and have fun.. I believed in the country America use to be.. I believe in the person I want to become.. I believe in the freedom of the open road.. And my moto is the same as ever: I believe in the kindness of strangers, and when I'm at war with myself... I ride... I just ride.. who are you, are you in touch with your darkest fantasies ? Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?.. I have.. I am F**king crazy, but I am free...
- Lana Del Rey
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