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So....things are around...I don't know. I keep feeling like one day I should just quit and give up on living, somedays I wish I could just kill myself, be done and such. But then I remember HIM, all about him and the things we've done, the things I held onto to. Just about him. Yeah a new guy, a differnt day, the same old page. But thats not WHAT I need. I need him to be back, and not turning his back to me like he has been doing. Promises sealed with kisses, hugs for no reasoning, long nights looking into each others eyes, I need that again. But he is gone now...I just don't get why...maybe some things will always be like that. But I do miss him now, I wish he was here, I wish I could just hear his voice, but he's gone. Gone away like the wind. And this is making me want to cry...
He's just not there anymore, I wish he was...Last time i saw him, it was almost a year ago...today is the day where I remember him almost too suddenly. Can this new one stand up to it? Can he live with my quiet moments? My moments where I realize how much alike this young love is like our love? Can he understand it. Can he understands my fears, my greatest fears of losing another one so close to me? Will he ever be able too? Or do I just ask for too much?
Maybe all those things will never get answerd, god How I hope they do...just how I wish they will..... cry neutral crying