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I don't even know what to say. I pushed every one away. I'm still pushing people away.
My heart hurts. I'm always lonely. I want to go home, but I don't want to leave matthew. Is this what it feels like to have your heart torn in two? To not feel whole no matter where you are.
I've been crying for days and it feels like nobody is listening. But when I try to open up I can't. I don't want to be judged, I don't want to be reasoned with. I just want to be understood. I don't want someone to tell me that it's going to be ok, because it's not.
I'm so depressed. And I don't know what to do.