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May 7th 2007, Vanessa's Journal. |
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Journal,
Man, so much is happening as of late. I don't know what to do, it seems depression is the only thing I can turn to, my friends can't even get me to smile anymore, at least not a real one. They're starting to notice through all the crying fits, and nights without rest. I can't even eat, well I haven't eaten an actual meal in two weeks, just picking at foods, and even then I've been throwing it up.
My birthday was on the 27th of April. It was awesome, Evan, my lover [boyfriend] actually acted like he cared which made me happy. My friends still think he's a d**k at times though. Sometimes I think they only say that because I'm being hurt, I know they like him a lot, but they haven't seen what he's been up to. He met this new girl, Kate, or Katie. It pissed me off when he called her, I wanted to talk to him about rumors, but he wanted her, and her friends to show up instead, God. There’s a reason I nearly killed them all in Jr. High. He expected me to be nice, but I wasn't. I'm actually glad one of his friends threw him against a wall with a blade to his neck for disrespecting me; at least they can see the pain he's putting me through.
He says he loves me, but I know he doesn't. Why is this relationship any different, why do I want to stay with him so badly? I mean, once summer comes around, he'll want to get rid of me, and I don't think it'd bother me that much. Maybe it's because I sit beside him in a class, everyday? It'd be awkward, at least for me, me, and one other girl have ever slept with him, but it's his fault. Telling me promises that I should have known he wouldn't keep, and saying he wanted to be with me forever. What a crap load, now I'm stuck hurtin'. Now I know why I was afraid of the male population, they have a thing for me, for gettin' what they want, and leaving. Why?
Enough of that, it happens to everyone, I'm more worried about something else. I'm sick, and I know I am, everyone has slowly started to notice. I've been having these pains in my side, sometimes both, and my chest, I can feel my heart beats, racing or not, sometimes they slow, and I feel my hearts about to stop, though I try to ignore it. Sometimes I start to cry, or shiver uncontrollably, like I'm freezing, and sometimes even pass out for a minute or two. It's weird, I don't know what's wrong with me, sometimes I hope it'll kill me before I start popin' something' just to get rid of this pain, the emotional one. Physical pain doesn’t bother me, just the mental stuff, it breaks me down until I just can't function anymore.
Maybe I'm crazy too? I don't know, but I see things that other people don't, when I'm alone mostly, I'm almost tempted to talk to them, but if I do then I might start believing it's real. It'd be nice though, to have someone that would listen, instead of writing in a diary every night. Advice, and a soft voice to wrap me in a blanket of protection had always appealed to me, maybe that's how I'm so vulnerable. They all do it to me. Wow, I'm rambling. Do you think the fact that I argue with myself in my head about things I have more then one person in there, sometimes I wonder. I always contradict myself because I like both or neither or I wanna do both or one thing, but then I don't care for it at the same time. It's so confusing, yet odd.
Don't you ever wish you could skip the teenage drama once you've had enough of it? I do, I wish I could just skip a head to having children, and being a stay home mom, maybe if the world didn't change so much I'd be able to have such a thing. Ah well, we can't have everything right?
Anyway, I'm not sure what else to put. Maybe I should try, and rest? Or try to get passed this part on FF-X, I haven't played that game in a while, man, my friends say I look like Yuna too. How awkward is that?
Good Night my loversss, Vanny. </3
Lexiie-Mariie · Sun May 06, 2007 @ 08:55am · 2 Comments |
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This is the day where I come in with a little bit of news, and a major writters bloock. heh.
Well the first thing I would like to report is that my friends rabbit died. I will not put up any names because I dont' want them to be bothered, but to her rabbit, let it rest in peace, and meet her when her end comes as well.
I don't think there's any other news, but if you would like anything added, please, pm me. Thank you.
Lexiie-Mariie · Wed Dec 14, 2005 @ 02:17am · 2 Comments |
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5 years later..
Torrence is 7, and Phoenix is now 5. She seems very powerful compared to her brother, and his Angel side is slowly dying to become a Fallen Angel, or even a Dark Angel half. While Phoenix is still pure. She never drank blood, or let anyone force her to drink it. She would fly away, and hide until her brother would come find her. He would hold her, and always whisper in her ears that it would be alright, and how they would leave that dump they had to call home.
Soon..
Phoenix was outside running through the Kingdom of the Vampires, laughing, and giggling chasing an orb. It was a blood orb her brother made for her so she could play with something. She soon came to the body shop where her ball rolled into. It was a place where they cell different body parts, and blood types. She sighed as she slowly peeked into the shop. Her ball was right over by the counter.
"H-hewo"She asked in her innocent, and childish voice. She seemed so cute, and would remind anyone of an Angel, even though she had these two fangs too large for her, but it just made her cuter in a way.
She slowly made her way into the shop towards her ball, but she was carefull, and looked around before looking down to pick up the ball. It was almost the size of her she was so tiny. She then lifted it off the wooden floor boards of the shop, and went to turn when a meat cleaver dropped in behind her.
She turned around to see a Vampire, and it was ugly along with fat. She squealed, and ran through his open legs, and out the door. She wouldn't stop squealling until she ran into this girl, and fell on the ground her behind. She looked up at this girl tilting her head slightly in interest of who she was.
She girl looked at her with a growl, and clawed at her making Phoenix hide behind her ball only to let it get poped. She then looked at the girl seeing it was stuck to her claws. She started to wave her hand around to get it off, but she only tripped over it being only young at the age of 7.
Phoenix started to giggle no longer afraid of the girl, but she was curious of what that man was going to do to her if she didn't run.
"What's so funny?" The girl asked with a growl. She then started to go on how that was rude, and trying to get Phoenix to get over there so she could have another swip at her to see how funny it was. <span id="test2690889">. . .</span><br/><div id="post2690889" style="display:none; margin-right:75px;">
Phoenix just kept on giggling.
Back at the shop..
"That girl wasn't a full Vampire just like her Brother, but she was still pure. I would make a bundle off of her blood. I need her alive, and take her Angel blood as needed." He said this with a big evil Santa like laughter that turned to something evil, but it was deep, and cruel as he turned to the back room with his meat cleaver once again. He then started to chop at the human bodies, and drain the blood into vials for sale.
With Phoenix, and the girl.
"Do you wan' 'elp?"Phoenix asked standing up, and walking over to the girl with a smile.
"Sure, big fangs." She then smirked waving her arm around some more, but it wouldn't come off. She then got frusterated, and whinned. "Get it off, and I cann't move my thingers." She said this so loud, and then started to cry. She hated not being able to move freely.
Phoenix tilted her head to the side. "Stay stilllllllllllll..."she whinned as she jumped on the girls arm, and took the orb skin from the ball off of her claws. She then got up. "all betwer." She said holding it up with a smile.
Sniffling the girl moved her hand around, and wiggled her fingers. "Tank you..." She said lookign at her sniffling once again. "My name is Justice. What's yours?" She asked now slightly smiling.
Phoenix's smile brightened up to hear her ask. "My name is Phoenix, nice to meet you Justice." She then held out her hand to help her new friend up. "You can come to the Castle wit' me to meet my big Bro. Torrence is his name." She said this cheerfully now ignoring the body shop.
Justice accepted the help up, and nodded as they both turned, and headed towards the Castle of the Vampires. Then eventually started to run, and laugh, giggle, whatever they could come up with as children.</div>
Lexiie-Mariie · Wed Nov 23, 2005 @ 05:03pm · 2 Comments |
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(Sorry it took so long to start this I've just been busy... Heh.)
Phoenix, Phoenix Cross is my name. I am a star that has not been created to a living form just yet. I live in the black never ending nothingness humans call the Universe. I have been here for hundreds of years waiting for the day my Father will come, and claim me, the day he will send me out into the world of Humans, Vampires, Angel, Demons, and many other races. So I can make either... peace... or war.
The Father of all religons mistaken to be only in one, but is the man who is all, the one who is every God, and being, except for his Angel's, Fallen Angel's, Arch Angels, and Humans. He had desided one day he would create another just like his son, to save everyone, or at least those who would understand. This was the day he would create a daughter, one who would be able to think in more then one way, and about more then one thing at a time. He would create Phoenix.
Phoenix to him would be a girl who would be created to save everyone, but also he would create her the same time he creates the first magical bird. The Phoenix. He would also create another, but this other will be before her, two years before her, and a few days.
His name will be Torence, Tornece Cross. Her only Brother, and family, btu they will only meet, and grow up in Heaven, and eventually grow apart, seperated by evil, and good. <span id="test2564240">. . .</span><br/><div id="post2564240" style="display:none; margin-right:75px;">
"My Son, Jesus. My daughter will be created after one. You will have a brother, and his fate will be determined by the Mother of the two."God had said to his son with a serious look upon his face. "They will never see me, but they will be taught by my hand, through you, my son. You will not tell them you are the brother, and treat them like a father."
"Yes, My Lord." The Son had said with a quick bow before leaving his father to summon the Devil. The one of temptation.
(I'm not going to be creative here, and skip a curtian amout of time.)
After about an hour....
"What do you want? Are you willing to share the throne equally?" The woman in red robes asked with an evil smirk walking towards God. This woman was the Devil. She knew what God wanted.
"No. I want you to help me with your power to create a boy. A boy of equal good, and evil."
"Only if I can deside his future, what he will become..." The Devil quickly said taking another step towards God. Her black wings folded behind her, which seemed to have fire on them. Such a beautiful sight if you were not close to going to Hell to know what this flame feels like.
"Fine, but two years, and two days from now you have to come, and help create a sister for him, this will make everything equal. Then she will be mine to choose the fate for." he declared standing.
"That works just fine for me." The devil said holdign her hand out, but her palms up. She was in the middle of the room, waiting as she got her evil powers working. He was going to be half Vampire.
"Good." God said walkign over to her powering up, and clashing his palms of his hands down onto hers, he was going to be half Angel.
Slowly there was a large light of bloth black, and white created engolfing bother of them. This slight then burst into many different flashes before a child was soon in between the two's hands. They stared at the child as it opened it's eye's.
"This child's eye's will have crosses as pupils." God said.
"Torrence Cross shall be his name..." Satan said.
"His eye's will be Silver, and he will be a half breed over Vampirism, and Angelic powers." They both said at the same time.
"He's going to be the price of Vampires..." Satan said pulling him towards herself wrappig him in some red cloth. "but also of the Angel's, am I not right?" she aske dlooking at God.
"You are right, now leave. Don't return until he is two, and two days. Bring him with you."
After two years of Torrence growing, and learnign to talk. He could speak fluidly. He then was returned with his mother to see his father God.
They apeared in the kingdom again. Torrence was right behind his mother peeking around her looking at his father.
"This is your Father, Torrence, say Hello to him." She slightly hissed.
He did what she told him too. "Hello, papa." He said his large silver eye's staring at the man, but blindly. He could see at the same time though, which was weird, but only so he would know everything there is too see i live, and death.
"Hello, My son..." God said.
Skipping ahead agian because I'm geting kicked off. The Girl Phoenix was created.
God held her close wrappign her in white cloth. "This is your sister, and she will grow up with you in the Kingdom of Vampires, but when you are 10 you will live with me." He then lied a kiss on the girl forehead blessing her. He put a cross around her neck.
He then looked to the boy putting a cross aorund his neck as well. It didn't hurt him very much, but he showed no pain.
Satan then took the child, and her son leaving...
This is where the story begins...
(Okay I didn't get kicked off... O.o. Lol.
Tell me if this is good, and if you finish it today, I'll add more...)</div>
Lexiie-Mariie · Wed Nov 02, 2005 @ 08:06pm · 2 Comments |
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Gaia SN: Hayor Character Name: Justice Age: 20 Race: Vampire Weapons(Max 3): Dai Katana and Dwarven Dagger Abilities: Mental resistance is her strong point. Although she has many qualities, this is her main one. Description/Appearance: Justice has long black hair with dark purple streaks running down to her mid back. She wears simply a black t-shirt and baggy black jeans that are held up by a mere worn belt that she's obviously used for quite some time. Her skin is pale, almost white, and her eyes are silver with flecks of green in them. She also has grey wings that appear and disappear depending on if she wants to fly or not.
Lexiie-Mariie · Wed Nov 02, 2005 @ 07:15pm · 0 Comments |
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I was thinking of writting a story so if you run int me, and want to be in the story, which you can read, then just pm me. I also have to know your character slightly so i don't screw them up too much. Lol.
Lexiie-Mariie · Wed Oct 26, 2005 @ 02:13am · 0 Comments |
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I wanna know what you think of me ^^ |
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What would you do if... [2] I said I liked you: [3] I kissed you: [4] I lived next door to you: [5] I started smoking: [6] I stole something: [7] I was hospitalized: [8] I ran away from home: [9] I got into a fight and you weren't there:
What do you think about my:
[1] Personality: [2] Eyes: [3] Face: [4] Hair: [5] Clothes: [6] Mannerisms:
Other:
[1] Who are you?: [2] Are we friends?: [3] When and how did we meet?: [4] How have I affected you?: [5] What do you think of me?: [6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?: [7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?: [8] Do you love me?: [9] Have I ever hurt you?: [10] Would you hug me?: [11] Would you kiss me?: [13] Would you marry me?: [14] Emotionally, what stands out?: [15] Do you wish I was cooler?: [16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?: [17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.: [18] Am I loveable?: [19] How long have you known me?: [20] Describe me in one word.: [21] What was your first impression?: [22] Do you still think that way about me now?: [23] What do you think my weakness is?: [24] Do you think I'll get married?: [25] What about me makes you happy?: [26] What about me makes you sad?: [27] What reminds you of me?: [28] What's something you would change about me?: [29] How well do you know me?: [30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?: [31] Do you think I would kill someone?: [32] Are we close?: [33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Lexiie-Mariie · Sat Oct 01, 2005 @ 04:28pm · 3 Comments |
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Wow. Everything has been so weird. I don't know what to say about it all. I'm in a guild. I forgot to put that down before, and I'm meeting new people allof the time. More so then two years ago.
*yawn*
Oh, gezz time to go to bed so I'll finish this tomorrow after school. bye all that read this. Please leave coments. Thank you.
Lexiie-Mariie · Mon Sep 26, 2005 @ 02:43am · 0 Comments |
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